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The Interactive FanFiction Story

One of the longest-running fanfiction stories on the 'net.

Chapter 43: Emotions

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The story so far

Chapter 43: Emotions

written by michelle

added on: 25 Aug 2004 - based on characters created by Winnie Holzman

Angela and Shanise are done practicing their song. They decided on singing the song missing you by Brandy and Tamia. Angela wanted to sing the song Don't Cry For Me by CeCe Winans, but since she wrote and picked surely missed she went with Shanises idea. Shanise and Angela are now sitting on the bed about an hour has gone by. They are waiting on Jordan and Brandon to come back, who said they would be back in about an hour. Jordan and the band and Brandon decided to go to Tino's, because he was having a last minute party. Jordan and Brandon called to see if they were done...7:30, Patty had to work late and won't be back till around 10 and so will graham, since the place was packed tonight. Danielle had got back about 7, and she's now in the living room doing her homework and watching TV at the same time...

Shanise and Angela on Angela's bed...

Shanise: You know, she told me about you, like all the time. I have to admit sometimes I got a little jealous, which was really stupid of me(sad laugh)

Angela: oh...well she mentioned you a couple times too.

Shanise: Before she...passed, she told me, "Shanise if anything ever happens to me, promise you'll tell my cousin Angela how much I love her," it was really scary to hear her talk about that. She wasn't the same Nikki, for at least 2 or 3 weeks, she was paranoid about...almost everything, she was always watching her back, like she couldn't relax for one second. It was scary seeing her like that. I would keep an eye on her 24/7 just to make sure she was...okay or something.

(Angela has tears coming down her eyes, but is looking out the window, not looking Shanise in the face)

Angela: Exactly...(voice chokes up) how did she act? Why didn't she tell me she thought something was going to happen to wait I remember her saying something over the phone about her saying something like, she didn't think she would live to see her the middle of her freshmen year in college. I didn't pay any attention to it then, but I wish I would have.

Shanise: She told you that?

Angela(whispers with chin trembling) yeah...

Shanise(big smile): She was a great friend, she was like the sister I never had. She was very protective of me too(laughs)...(stops laughing and looks serious) those last few weeks of her not acting like herself, it was like she knew death was like after her or something. She knew she couldn't stop it, she just accepted it and told everyone she loved them and how much she cared about them. It was weird because she would give Brandon hugs every time she saw him. And those two, were crazy towards each other, one minute they would fight and the next they would flirt and the next they would fight and the next they would be friends then it would go back to flirting and then fighting. They were just a big mess, you can tell they really liked each other, they just didn't want to admit it. The night she...when she dropped me off, she came in and gave my mom a hug, she didn't really care for my dad, because, well, he isn't the best person to be around or to mess with, you know? But she gave him a hug too, which he actually received which was surprising to me. But anyway, after that she had some long talk with Brandon on the porch alone, and when I looked out the window to see if she'd left already, they were hugging really tight, and she was crying and holding him like she didn't want to let go. After they were hugging for. Minutes maybe 10, they kissed, it was a really deep kiss, like a kiss that you'd always remember. When she stepped back from him I saw her mouthed the words" I love you" to him. Believe it or not I saw a few tears come down Brandon's eyes...

Angela(crying with her head in the pillow, now laying down, after listening to Shanise's story)...Do you know what they were talking about, what made him cry?

Shanise: No, I don't know. I'd never ask him, because it'll be too painful for him to talk about, It's just his and her secret I guess.( gets up and walks over to the piano and sits on the piano bench, she starts to play the tune to Celion Dions "My heart will go on.")

Shanise: Angela?

Angela: (voice is muffled because her face is buried into her pillow) *no answer*

Shanise(starts to cry): Angela?

Angela gets out of the bed an sits next to Shanise on the piano bench, she puts an arm around her shoulders and pulls her close. Shanise leans on Angela's shoulder and starts to cry, Angela leans her head on Shanise's head and begins to cry also.

Angela: vo-I don't really even know this girl, but it seems as though at this moment I really did know her just like all of a sudden. At that exact moment it was like we were one. We both had the same love for the same person. We both missed her very much. We wanted her back, but we knew that she never would come back to this GOD forsaken earth.. planet. Universe ever again. It would seem like a millions life times before we ever saw her again. When I was too busy worried about my own feelings over Nicole, I never stopped to realize that someone could be feeling the same way I felt. Or even worse. I never stopped to realize that someone needed me, someone need a friend, they needed to someone to hold them, they someone was Shanise. I have people to talk to , maybe she doesn't have that many. Other people are sad over this, not just me. For instance, her parents, her best friends...Brandon, her baby sister, I wasn't the only one. I wasn't the only one grieving over her death. I had people who were trying to hold on as much as I was. I had people to talk to about this. I had my family, my friends, like Sharon, Rickie and Rayanne, I had Jordan, my boyfriend, the one I love very much, when someone out there in the world grieving over their loved one had...nobody. Nothing.

Shanise: vo-Nicole was right, there is something about Angela, that makes you want to reveal all of your deep dark secrets to her. Something about her that makes you want to express your feelings to her, to tell her about the terrible things going on in you life. It's like she's a person who listens, who cares, who'll always be there. Even for someone she doesn't know, for someone she just met, for someone who she hasn't known for more than 4 hours, for someone in need of talking to...for me.....

*The next morning* Thursday morning, Angela getting ready for school. After she puts on her skirt that kind of flares out, and a long flannel shirt, with a black shirt, with jet black tights on with black boots. She is heading downstairs into the kitchen.

Angela: vo: This day is going by so slow already, I wish it was just hurry up and get this over with. Ive never liked funerals, especially when its someone I wish their death should have been mine instead of theirs.

Patty: Good morning, honey!

Angela: (tired voice) Whats so good about it.

Patty: You shouldnt talk like that. Today is going to be a rough day and I know that, a rough day for the whole family, we must stick together through off of this honey, I know youre going to miss Nicole, and its going to be a while before you get over it, but you have to keep your head-

Angela: (yells) Save it for your book mom. GOD, I really hate it when you try to cheer up someone, you should be trying to cheer up yourself, youre a- forget it, just forget, Ill wait outside for Jordan.

Patty: (looks over to the wall, tries to hide her sadness and the hurting that her daughter has just caused her)

Patty: (bright famous/fake smile) Okay! Well I hope you have a great day at school, and tell Jordan I said hello, for me. Bye!

Angela: (walking out door dryly, as if she wants to crawl back in her bed and lay down forever) see yah later.

Angela walks out to the porch and closes the door behind her, she sits on the porch and looks at her watch which tells her that Jordan will be there in a few minutes.

Angela: vo: My mom is sofake at times. She tries to hide her feelings, which really doesnt help, since you can so completely see through her. Shes the type, who tries to have a smile on her face no matter what happens. Shes a depressed woman, I know that, for a fact. I dont think I ever remember her truly being happy.

Jordan pulls into the driveway, Angela doesnt seem to notice, he honks his horn, which still doesnt get her attention, he turns off the engine after waiting for a couple minutes trying to figure her out. He gets out the car and walks towards the porch.

Angela: vo: Theres a lot of things I know she doesnt, approve of or something, but I really thinks she thinks shes done a horrible job raising me. (laughs to herself) If I were my mom, I dont think Id be too pleased if my daughter dyed her hair the color of kool-aid too. She doesnt know it but, I think shes done a great job raising me and Danielle, shell just have to figure that out sometime in the future or something.

Jordan sits next to Angela on the porch and is looking dead at her, shes looking at her lap with her thumb and index finger on her forehead. Jordan is sitting patiently waiting for her to notice hes there.

Angela: vo: I wonder how she can be so happy, on a day like today. Just knowing that I have to go to my favorite cousins funeral tonight at 6:30 is like so depressing. I think I get depressed too easily, maybe its like that with a lot of girls, but with me I dont know. I remember in the summer when the doctors diagnosed me with anorexia, when I wouldnt eat anything, completely starved myself, almost to death, if Id kept going on like that. Ever since then, I get depressed really easily, Ill get extremely depressed if, I dont know what to wear, if my makeup goes wrong, if I make a mistake doing something. Ive gotten better, but Nicoles death has just made it worse. I mean Im really depressed, if anything happens like soon, thats like terribly bad, I might choke up

Angela looks up from her lap to see Jordan sitting down facing her, looking at her with his blue eyes, just staring into her face.

Angela: Oh, hi. (embarrassed at being caught off guard while she was caught up in her own thoughs about life, as usual)

Jordan: Hey, Ive been waiting here for about 10 minutes, wondered when you were gonna notice me.

Angela: (looks at him with a oh shut up, Im not in the mood face) Whatever, its not like you couldnt have said anything.

Jordan: (smiles): Oh, I beeped the horn a couple times, cleared my throat a couple times, waved my hand in front of your face, and what else, uhhh, I think thats all, I got tired of trying to make my selfknown or something.

Angela: (still has the same look on her face) Right

Jordan: Come, before we be late

Angela and Jordan get up, but Angela gets up slowly, they start walking to Jordans car but Angela is behind him, walking with a slow pace.

Angela: (says to herself quietly) Since when do you care about being late? If it wasnt for me youd be kicked out, busta.

Jordan: I heard that.

Angela: I could care less. (vo: GOD why am I being so mean to him, he hasnt done a thing to me, but been there, Im turning into a witch)

Jordan gets into the car, and Angela slides in on the passenger side. Jordan stars to drive, at a stop light he tries to grab Angela and pull her closer to him. Angela shrugs out of his grip, while he looks at her with a sympathetic look.

Jordan: Youre worried, about tonight.

Angela: No Im not.

Jordan: (same look) Yes you are, and its okay, I was nervous about going to my uncles funeral, but when its over withit feels like it was worth it going. Or something, I really cant explain it.

Angela: Yeah, well, like I said Im not nervous, or sad, or frustrated, or wishing it was me instead of her. Im not crying and balling everywhere I go (tears start to come down her eyes, but she looks and talk the same though their coming down, starts to yell really loud) alright, so just stop it, just stop it now, and leave me alone, always trying to solve someones problems, just let me think about this on my own, GOD, let me be

Jordan: (same look, just nods his head and continues to drive, as Angela turns back to the window and looks out of it, she dries her tears with her sleeves and she stops crying. When they get to school parking lot they sit in the car for a while before the bell rings, which will ring in 12 minutes.

Angela is still looking out the window

Angela :vo: I shouldnt have said that to him, he was just trying to help, he probably thinks Im some insane red head who cant cope with her pain. This has been the worse year of my life

Angela: (mumbles): Im sorry.

Jordan: You dont have to be

Angela: No really I am, and thanks for everything, for being you.

Jordan: (moves in his seat a little) : No sweat.

*Angela and Jordan are now at Angelas locker, Shane comes up towards them and says he has to talk to Jordan alone for a minute.

Angela: (little smile) okay, later

Jordan gives Angela quick peck on the cheek and walks off with Shane down the hall towards the end of the hall.

Jordan: Whats up,

Shane : Nothing, just uhh

Jordan: Whatd you do my cousin. Wheres Alicia at, whatd you do with her, shouldnt have let her go out with you. You piece of-

Shane: Dude calm down, its not her, were fine, shes FINE! I mean shes really fiiinnneeee. (smiles, then goes back to his serious face)

Jordan: Then what is it?

Shane: Well, you know that party that we uhh..went to when Angela was out of town, it was at Tinos, Well seeuhh

Jordan (sighs in frustration) SPIT IT OUT MAN!

Shane: (talks quietly) : Well you when we got drunk, you said something about how that night, you accidently hooked up with Cynthia Hardgrove, and you made out with her in her car, but then you stopped yourself before anything else could happen.

Jordan (looking sad remembering the night) : Yeah, what about it.

Shane: The sluts been goin around telling everyone you and her slept together. I mean I just found out from over hearing her tell one of friends, under the bleachers when I was havin a quick smoke before school started. Thats when I heard her say it, and she then said, spread it around girls, because its true.

Jordan: (yells out loud) WHAT THE HECK! Thats a lie, I didnt sleep with that, that, ho. Shes lying lowers his voice, as people in the hall start to listen and look at him with weird looks)

Shane: Yeah, I know, didnt think shed stoop that low. Desperate for attention from you again, I guess.

Jordan: (laughs) Shes never gonna get that.

Shane: Yeah well, I thought you should know, before it reached Angela or something. I doubt she wont find out, her friend Sharon, shes like the queen of gossip or whatever.

Jordan: (extremely angry) I am so screwed. I didnt sleep with her man.

Shane: I know that, and you know that, and so does Cynthia but everyone else, they dont know. Oh, I almost forgot you know that girl, Angela talks to, uhh Abysid, Abysin, Aby-

Jordan: Abysinnia, what about her?

Shane: I remember seeing her at the party, her and some other girls Sharon and Angela are cool with. Better watch out man, I think they know, but havent told her yet. Just got this feeling that, its gonna be a big mess, when, if, she finds out..

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“Do we have to keep talking about religion? It's Christmas.”

Danielle Chase, Episode 15: "So-Called Angels"