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One of the longest-running fanfiction stories on the 'net.

Chapter 42: Rehearsal

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Chapter 42: Rehearsal

written by Michelle

added on: 21 Aug 2004 - based on characters created by Winnie Holzman

Angela is at the piano, she stops playing, she then glances over at Shanise who is reading the last verse to Surely Missed, she then turns around and looks at Jordan in the eye, she nods her head to the door at him, so only he can see her.

Angela: Umm..I have to go down to the kitchen and get something to drink, I, like really need some water.

Shanise: Oh sure, mine is on the table could you bring it up. thanks.

Angela walks out of the room and goes into the kitchen. She is know sitting on the counter waiting on him to come down. After a couple of seconds she hears Jordan coming down the steps. He goes over to her and spreads her legs out so that he can lean in between her. He then wraps his arms around her waist and looks her in the face, where she is looking at her ring, which she is fumbling with, moving her right ring finger and middle finger against it.

Jordan: So, wassup? Nervous?

Angela: I so cannot sing at that funeral what's wrong with me, I never should have agreed to do this Jordan. Why am I so stupid, all I had to do was tell them no. I mean i want to, I really want to but...it's too scary singing in front of people. I mean GOD I've having trouble singing in front of 3 people for goodness sake. I am like so screwed.

Jordan: You're not screwed Angela. I know how you feel, believe me I do, I had to sing in front of people for the first time before too. And I know you're a shy person, well some of the time, but you're not doing this for me, or them up stairs, or anybody who's going to be at the funeral tomorrow. You're doing this for Nicole okay. Thats like a really , good song you wrote Angela, now dont you want Nicole to hear it?

Angela: Of course I do, but Im too scared..

Jordan: Why are you scared?

Angela: I dont know

Jordan: Dont lie, you do know.

Angela: (raises her voice) : I dontGOD

Jordan: I know when youre lying, so just stop, and tell me why youre scared okay.

Angela: (whispers) What if

Jordan: What if, what?

Angela (tears start to roll down her cheeks. Her chin trembles, she puts her hand up to her mouth and holds her there as she speaks) : What if its not good enough?

Jordan: Did you write that song, like as best as you could or something?

Angela (nods her head) : Yeah, I did. I really tried. Im not that good of a writer, but I really tried.

Jordan: Then , its more than good enough, its the best right?

Angela doesnt say anything she just sits on the counter with Jordan still in between her legs with his arms around her waist. Jordan takes Angelas hand away from her mouth, and holds it with his hand. With his other free hand he starts wiping Angelas tears away.

Jordan: Youre gonna have to do it now or never. Which one is it gonna be Angel?

Angela: (vo: Angel, where the heck did that come from? Since when does Jordan Catalano give people like nick names or whatever. Since when did he start doing that.)

Angela: Angel???

Jordan: Yeah (smiles) youre my angel, you know that. So are you coming back up stairs or not, because I just go up there and tell them that your not singing tomorrow because youre too afraid. And that, even though youre doing this for Nicole, well supposedly, you still dont want to do it. I can go up there and tell them to leave right now and-

Angela: (shouts) Alright! GOD.

Angela looks down at her hands and takes her ring off, she starts tossing it up and down in her right hand, not really high though. Just enough for it to come off of her hands. Another tear rolls down her eyes and Jordan wipes it away.

Jordan: Can you give me a smile?

Angela: Theres nothing to smile about, Jordan.

Jordan: Yes there is

Angela: Rightlets go back upstairs.

Angela begins to walk out of the kitchen after moving around Jordan, until he stops her by pulling her arm. He starts to talk but their no looking at each other.

Jordan: How can you say theres nothing to smile about. You have your family, still have friends, youre alive, you have people to talk to about your problems, some people dont even have that. You have a lot to be grateful for, okay. I know exactly how you feel Angela, did you forget that my uncle died this summer. Yeah, I miss him, a whole lot, but I know that hes resting or whatever. You gotta stop beating yourself up for her death. It wasnt your fault, you might have had some signs or whatever to tell you this was gonna happen but who would have really known that it would actually come true, its not your fault. Its like for every bad thing that happen you just make it like its your fault, when its not. Things happen for a reason, and Nicole died for a reason. We dont know what the reason is, but we know that theres a reason why youre going through this. Theres a reason why she didnt live to see 19, okay. Yeah its a young age to pass at, but no one knows what time theyre going to be leaving here, okay. Were not here to live forever, we have to die, some day, and that day Nicole died, was her day. No one could have stopped it, it was already predestined or something. I know its gonna be hard to try and get over this, because Im not over my uncle yet, but you still see me with a smile on my face. Dont let the bad things in life make you weak, let them make you stronger. The race wasnt given to the swift, or however that saying goes, Nicoles death, will not make you weak, it will not cause you to have like a nervous break down or whatever, okay, itll make you stronger, itll cause you to stop taking the people and things in your life for granted. (Turns around to face, Angela, who is still facing the kitchens exit door. She hasnt turned around to look at Jordan ever since he started, talking)

Jordan: (vo: Cant believe I just said all that, thats like the most Ive ever talked in like my life)

Angela: (vo: Cant believe he just said all that. Hes like completely right too, which is like scary too. Why do I always make things out to be my fault, why do I always think everything that goes wrong is because Ive done something wrong. Why is he always right at crap like this, I hate it when he gets on me like this, why cant he just stop punching me in the stomach with the truth. The truth that I wont face unless someone brings it to my attention. Sometimes not even then. I wish he would hug me and just hold me right now, but a the same time I dont want him to, because hes right, like all the time. I still cant help but feel like its all my fault. Its really hard to block this out it keeps com-)

Jordan interrupts Angelas thoughts

Jordan: Angela? Angela? Angela look at me. Please.

Angela turns around with tears streaming down her eyes, her eye liner is completely messed up and smeared all over her face, with dark lines going down her face from her eyeliner, her chin is trembling so much her teeth are close to chattering. She takes a step towards Jordan. Jordan then takes a step towards her. She starts to cry a lot now, shes starting to sniff, her whole body is starting to shake now, as they continue to look at one another. Jordan then hugs her and holds, her but only for a few seconds because Angela tries to get out of his grip. Jordan consist on holding on to her, knowing that she really wants to be held. Angela gives in and wraps her arms around Jordan and cries on his shoulder.

Angela: (tries to talk between cries): I try to block it out but it never goes away, I try and try but it plays again. I try to look on the bright side of it, but the dark side of it always comes first. I still cant help thinking its my fault because, why else would I have had those dreams and visions and crap. I hate having that stuff. Its not the first time its happened. I thought wed get to see forever, but shes gone and forever is gone too, its hard to let it go. I miss herso much.

Jordan continues to hold Angela for about 5 more minutes. Angela then consist on going to the bathroom to fix her makeup, and to clean herself up. Jordan then holds her again for another 5 minutes. He gives her small peck on the lips and she goes up the steps, in the middle of the stairway, she stops to look at Jordan.

Angela: Thanks, it really means a lot to me , to have someone like you in my life. Thank you so much.

Jordan: (licks his lips and looks at Angela) : No sweat.Angel

Angela smiles at Jordan she is about to take another step up the steps when Jordan says something else.

Jordan: Nice to see you smile againa real smile.

Angela: I wouldnt be, if it wasnt for you.


** Angela is now sitting on the piano seat again. Jordan is sitting on the floor next to the piano, looking at Angela so she wont be so nervous.**

Angela looks over at Shanise, who is sitting next to her again.

Angela: You ready?

Shanise: (smiles) : I been ready.

**Angela is singing the parts where theres stars next to the lyrics
~Shanise is singing the parts where theres wavy lines next to the lyrics
*~ together
Angela starts singing the song, she is singing with a very strong voice, she quivers her voice at some parts of the song, a lot actually, it sounds very good, like she could get a record deal or something.

*Im sitting here all confused
*Never-ending thoughts of you
*My days and nights, theyre lonely
*Happiest Times, all memories
*I dream of past days gone by
*When you were right here by my side
*To help me cope with all this pain
*Without you, my friend, lifes not the same

*~Good times, theyre gone
*~My smiles, no more
*Childhood memories of you and me
*Cant believe we never said goodbye
*~I sing this song
*~To show your spirit lives on
*I hope youre hearing this
*~Because youre surely missed

*Woke up one day to bad news
*Car accident involving you
*A woman said youd be saved
*Guess only God knew your fate
*I could not believe my ears
*My heart had dropped
*I burst to tears
*My best friend, my other half
*So much has changed since you passed

*~Good times, theyre gone
*~My smiles, no more
*Childhood memories of you and me
*Cant believe we never said goodbye
*~I sing this song
*~To show your spirit lives on
I hope youre hearing this
*~Because youre surely missed

*Gotta be strong
*For the family
*Never forget what you mean to me
~Youll always be in our hearts
*~Heaven was missing an angel
*But why did they take you
*Our first-born will be blessed with your name
*To live on your legacy
*I miss you and know youre watching me

*I miss youI miss you
*Cant believe we never said goodbye
*I sit here and cry
*Let this song express my emotion
*Let it speak for my heart
*Youll always be in my heart

~Good times, theyre gone(*oh theyre gone)
~My smiles, no more(*my smiles are no more)
~Childhood memories of you and me(*always think of you,)
~Cant believe we never said goodbye(*ohhhh)
~I sing this song(*I this song)
~To show your spirit lives on(*Ill always think of you)
~I hope youre hearing this(*I hope youre hearing this)
~Because youre surely missed(*ohhhh)

~Good times, theyre gone(*ohh they gone)
~My smiles, no more(* my smiles are no more)
~Childhood memories of you and me(*youre never be forgotten)
~Cant believe we never said goodbye(*no no no no)
~I sing this song(*I sing this song)
~To show your spirit lives on(*yo spirit lives on)
~I hope youre hearing this(*I know youre hearing this)
*~Because youre surely missed
Angela plays a few more keys on the piano before opening her eyes again.

Jordan (vo: who does she sound like? That woman, shes black, light skinned, uhhh..something that starts with an F. She has the same last name as my friend, who is that. FAITH EVANS!)

Jordan: OH MY GOD

Angela: Let me guess, you didnt like it, I dont really like it that much either, maybe its like dull or something, maybe I should just sing something by someone else-

Jordan: No, no, thats not what I mean, it was great. You singso much better than Rayanne of course. But you sing like Faith Evans.

Angela: (looking at him like hes lying) : Well now youre just lying Jordan, shes famous Im not, I could never sing like her, shes like really good, Im just okay.

Jordan: No, you sound just like her, but better actually.

Angela: (laughs as if hes the biggest liar on earth) Well now youre just exaggerating Catalano.

Brandon: Nooohes right, you sound like her but better. You have a strong voice to be so quiet at times. And how do you make your voice go up and down like that?

Angela: (looks down at her hands, as if they have all of a sudden came very interesting)

Angela: I dont know it just happens, I guessAsk Shanise she can probably do it too.

Shanise: Not like that, Im more of a, just a good singer, youre like a fantastic singer, you get where Im coming from.

Angela looks at Jordan as if to tell him to stop complimenting her.

Jordan: But anyway, uhh, the song is like great, you know.So Angel, wanna sing in my band?

Angela throws Jordan a dirty look

Angela: yeah right.

Jordan (smiles) : We just have guitars and drums, a keyboard might be good.

Angela: Oh my GOD, shut up Jordan.

Jordan: Im just playing, I know youll never go for anything like that.so dont you have to like practice another song.

Angela sighs and flops on the bed next to Brandon who, was now getting so comfortable that he was actually laying on one side of the bed, with his feet out though. Angela puts her face in the pillow and her words come out mufeld

Angela: Dont remind me. This may take a while so, Brandon and Jordan, yall can like leave if you want to.

Brandon: Were free to go

Angela: Yes.

Brandon: Just like that.

Angela: (shouts) YES!

Brandon: No if and buts about it.

Angela: Im not gonna tell you again.

Brandon: Fine, I think we can tell when were not wanted, cant we Jordan.

Jordan: (shrugs his shoulders) I gottta go to the loft anyway, practice only a couple songs with the band.

Brandon: Oh yeah? Ill come, since Im defiantly not wanted here.

Angela looks up at Jordan.

Angela: Is Shane and Tony friends again, because Shanes been there lately.

Jordan: (shrugs his shoulders) I dont know, ask him. But, I think so, I dont think they would let some girl, especially a slut like rayanne, I know shes your friend, but its a fact, come between them.

Angela: I dont care, I know shes a slutdoesnt bother me, long as she isnt hurting me Im fineWELL BYE! GO AWAY NOW!

Jordan goes over to the bed and kisses Angela for about a minute or two, theyre about to keep going when Brandon says.

Brandon: What is this house, rated X or something.

Jordan: (short laugh): Alright, but hold on Ill meet you in the car I gotta talk to Angela alone for a minute.

Shanise: Okay, Ill walk Brandon to your car.

Brandon and Shanise, walk out of the room, from the background you hear Brandon yell, LIKE WE DONT KNOW, THEYRE NOT GONNA TALK

Jordan gets up and closes Angela bedroom door. He gets on top of her and starts to kiss her. Angela wraps her legs around Jordan and brings him down, so that he's laying on top of her. Jordan takes Angela's tank top off and starts to feel all over her. Angela moves her hands, under Jordan's shirt. She moves her hands down to his pants, she unbuttons his pants and starts to feel him below his stomach. They continue to make out like this for about 10 minutes. After while, Jordan pulls away..

Jordan: GOD, i hate to stop, this, but they've been waitin for more than 10 minutes.

Angela: yeah I know, i want you so bad right now.

Jordan: You don' know how bad i want you Angela.

Angela: You can always come over, later on tonight, you can sneak in, remember last time.

Jordan: How can i forget.

Jordan gets up from the bed and fixes his clothes, Angela pulls her tank top back on over her head. She walks Jordan to his car. They stop on the drivers side, and start talking.

Jordan: I can come around 10 or 11, will they be sleep?

Angela: Yes, they will,they usually go by 10.

Jordan: (smiles) Good, can't wait. I guess i'll see you later on tonight then right?

Angela: Right!

Jordan gets in the car, with Brandon on the passenger side, Shanise has gone back to Brandons car and is getting something out of it. Before Jordan drives off, he whispers to Angela and says...

Jordan: Don't forget about what we talked about in the kitchen okay?

Angela: I won't, thanks again. For everything.

Jordan: Anytime, later.

Angela: See yah. bye Brandon.

Brandon: Later.

Angela goes over to Shanise and once she gets what she needs they head into the house talking about what songs, they might sing, but they're pretty sure they may sing missing you by brandy and tamia...

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“My dad thinks every person in the world is having more fun than him.”

Angela Chase, Episode 1: "My So-Called Life (Pilot)"