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Fanfiction

Angela's Letter

written by Julie Stevenson

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About this story

Published: 1997 | Size: 4 KB (732 words) | Language: english | Rating: PG-13
Average: 4.2/5   4.2/5 (13 votes)

based on stories and characters created by Winnie Holzman

I was having a MSCL Marathon and I got up to "Why Jordan Can't Read." and I watched the scene about Angela's Letter to Jordan, and I thought that would make an interesting piece of fan fic. So I put myself in Angela's shoes and wrote this. Now remember, Angela's letter was 5 pages long. You've been warned.


Dear Jordan,

I almost feel kind of weird staring this letter with 'dear,' because after all you've put me through I'm not sure I would consider you dear to me. At one time, I believed I was in love with you, but I'm relieved to say that I'm not anymore. I think I should start at the beginning.

From the day your arm almost touched my elbow in the middle of our English pop quiz, I was overwhelmingly attracted to you. When I ran into you at Tino's party, I was terrified. When I learned that you knew my name, I was overjoyed. And then Rayanne asked you to get me a fake I.D. I just want to say for the record that I am not, nor have I ever been French. The real reason she asked you for me was because she knew I would be too nervous to ask you myself.

Then you made the I.D. to say that I was exactly one day old. It makes me feel really stupid to know that I paid $30 for a completely worthless piece of paper. And in the car, I was really upset when you kissed me the second time. The first I could understand, but the second was out of line. And it's not that I didn't want to kiss you, because I've lied awake at night, wondering what it would be like to kiss you. But I _loved_ you, and I guess I was just expecting _more_ than just some purely physical fling. But later I would learn to keep my expectations of you much lower.

Then the rumor started that we had sex, and it wasn't that I was apalled or offeneded when you suggested we might as well have done it anyway, I was just shocked because I realized how true your observation really was. In case you never realized it, I would have done anything you wanted me to do, I would have been anyone you wanted me to be, if it would have meant being with you. But the next day, before I could tell you all these things, you told me you had no real interest in me. You might as well have ripped out my heart and stomped on it. I could have died. And for weeks afterwards, I felt miserable. I scalped my Grateful Dead tickets just because you suggested it. Just to pay for the useless I.D. you made me.

Which was _really_ useless, because I never would have tried to get into a bar or a club or a place like Let's BOlt if I hadn't known that you would be there. I wouldn't have gone to Tino's party if I hadn't known that you would be there. I was willing to change my whole identity for you. But what did you care?

And then, a lot of stuff happened taht made me realize I shouldn't have to change for you, I shouldn't have to change for anyone. And I guess I started to realize that you weren't mature or intelligent enough to feel the way I did, or even realize how much you hurt me. It was rather Kafka-esque, really.

And I'm really glad that I don't have to be in love with you anymore, because being in love with you made me do some really stupid things, and hurt people I care about. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that you had your chance. But now I realize that I don't have to change for you. There's nothing really wrong with me. I kept thinking that you were above me, that you were too good for me. But now I realize that I'm too good for you.

Sincerely,
Angela Chase


Well, yeah, I know that Angela would have written it better, but we do what we can. Feedback would be appreciated!

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Average: 4.2/5   4.2/5 (13 votes)
  • Zippiz commented on 27 Feb 2001:
    Great! I always wondered what the letter said. Now if we could just get someone to write the oak tree poem...;o)
  • Matthew commented on 26 Oct 2001:
    Not bad, i could picture Angela saying this.
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“School is a battlefield for your heart.”

Angela Chase, Episode 1: "My So-Called Life (Pilot)"