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What was everyone doing on midnight on Friday ?

written by Angela Bigos

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About this story

Published: 1997 | Size: 4 KB (801 words) | Language: english | Rating: PG-13
Average: 2.8/5   2.8/5 (27 votes)

based on stories and characters created by Winnie Holzman

What was everyone doing on midnight on Friday?

Rayanne: Telling her date (a guy that was mean to Angela) over and over again that she'd still love him tomorrow, get him to take his pants and tighty-whities off, steal his wallet (and mail it to his girlfriend with his undies bearing big red lip prints), and leave him tied up in the parking lot of Burger King- with a paper crown on his head.

Ricki: Enjoying a Pepto Bismol face mask (he read that it's great for problem skin) and imagining him and Brad Pitt in a remake of East Of Eden while soaking his cuticles.

Danielle: Supposed to be asleep at Grandma's house but sneaked out of bed and watched Grandma make out on couch with her pool boy. Took notes to memorize for use with Brian Krakow in future.

Patty: Sneaked into kitchen and ate four pounds of cheesecake. As penance rode exercise bike until calf muscles cramped and Graham had to carry her back to bed.

Graham: Worked out dream menu for gala restaurant opening and fantasized about licking ganache off of Patty's breasts.

Angela: Helped Sharon add blonde streaks to hair with at-home-kit. Results less than desired so, high on peroxide fumes, they both eat two pounds of peanut butter cups and make prank phone calls, most of them to Brian Krakow who doesn't have caller i.d.

Brian: Constantly interrupted in favorite fantasy (Angela peeling off glistening pink silk dress and begging for it, absolutely begging for it) by ringing phone. Right hand slippery from secret stash of Love Gel. Phone keeps clunking heavily to floor and Mrs. Krakow keeps pounding on door to find out if Everything Is All ight.

Kyle: Chugged two forty ouncers, puked prodigiously in neighbor's petunia bed, neighbor sets fleet of yapping Yorkies onto him and he spent two hours in hospital emergency room for viciously bitten ankles. Once there, he vomits again, on shoes of attending physician who wonders why he didn't go into the hardware business with his Uncle Lou.

Corey: Stares at phone but is unable to will himself to call Angela for date. Did so for past four hours. Develops blinding headache his mother treats with Midol. Goes to bed and cries tears of frustration into his moonlit pillow covered in Aladdin sheets.

Mr. Katimski: He and partner give each other hot oil massages, each drink a single martini (glass rinsed out with scotch first and garnished with unpitted green olive- stirred not shaken as it bruises the gin) and then Mr. K. gets freaky with the coffee flavored whipped cream.

Uncle Neal: 9 pm: Buys two good looking chicks ( one in lime green spandex mini skirt and tattoo on chest that says "Killer" and the other wearing a poodle skirt and a metal studded leather halter top) a round of Zombies at The Booby Hatch.
10 pm: Suggests that the "ladies" might like to come back to "his pad" for a few refreshments and a look at his "cool record collection". Congratulates self on having foresight to have purchased new lot of glow-in-the-dark condoms and strawberry glitter love gel.
11 pm: After several shakers of cocktails from Uncle Neal's Polynesian themed bar he gets the gals "in the mood" by stripping down to his purple satin thong undies and finger feeding them cheese puffs and pigs in a blanket served piping hot from his toaster oven. This so inflames their passions that each takes her dentures out and licks MacDonald's Sweet and Sour sauce off Uncle Neal's chest. They giggle like stoned geisha's at the places Uncle Neal has provocatively placed cheese puffs and pigs in a blanket.
11:30: Uncle Neal puts on his Don Ho records and they form a naked conga line in the rec room. Uncle Neal heads the line and leads them upstairs to his bedroom.
Midnight: Tied to his round black satin covered revolving bed, Uncle Neal, drooling from both the Zombies and the strong scent of Passion in the air, succumbs to the ministrations of first Killer and then Kiki. After grotesque sex noises cause the neighbor's rotweiller Binky to howl for the fifth time that night, police break down door and arrest both Killer and Kiki on bad check charges. Uncle Neal, an old friend of police, is merely photographed, unconscious, with blobs of strawberry glitter gel festooning his chin. Giggling, the officers quietly lock up the house (marveling at the sex hammock hanging in the living room) and giggle at the knowledge that where there is an Uncle Neal, there is Life.

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Rating Distribution:
Average: 2.8/5   2.8/5 (27 votes)
  • anonymous author commented on 08 Jun 2002:
    you left out JORDAN!!!
  • Marianne gave this story a 4.0/5 4.0/5 rating and commented on 25 Nov 2008:
    Your use of details completely embodies the world of MSCL. I am new to it, but am enjoying the gritty details that accompany life, and that show up so well in MSCL! Great!

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“And, you know, with your hair like that? It hurts to look at you.”

Rayanne Graff, Episode 1: "My So-Called Life (Pilot)"