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written by Angela Bigos

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Published: 1997 | Size: 3 KB (588 words) | Language: english | Rating: PG-13
Average: 2.8/5   2.8/5 (13 votes)

based on stories and characters created by Winnie Holzman

What did everyone dream about last night?

Graham: "I had a job as a chef in was hideous! The lettuce wasn't properly dried for the Chiffonade Salad, the Portobello mushrooms were *filthy*, the cream was that ultra-pasteurized crap" (trembles and pauses to take a sip of water) "the chickens weren't free range, the pate' resembled industrial grade liverwurst, and we were expected to *trap* pigeons in the park for the Alsatian Pigeon with bacon, white wine (screw cap!), and sauerkraut (canned!). I woke up sweating, let me tell you!"

Patty: (brightly) "Well! I was wearing my lace up bodice costume, the one that got..."(giggles) "sort of *ripped* and I'd been a *very* naughty girl and for some bizarre reason my punishment was to go out into the garden and pick these huge, absolutely huge, zucchinis and carrots and then I was sitting on top of the washer during the spin cycle, rocking back and forth and singing the score from The Pirates Of Penzance and then...I woke, you got a couple extra minutes this morning...?"

Brian: (written in the diary he keeps hidden under his mattress) "Well, I had my usual dream again...I'm naked and wandering through the halls of Liberty only nobody notices me and I go to the cafeteria but all they have is nine kinds of pie but I don't have any money and nobody will give me any and then I'm setting off a big stick of dynamite and then I see Angela dressed in a skin tight latex teddy wearing a nurses hat and thigh high boots and then I set off another stick of dynamite and then I wake up, totally exhausted. Wonder what this means?"

Uncle Neal: (tells no one) Dreams that he gets the penile implant of his dreams and at first everything is just super-duper. Then, after Really Satisfying his 10,000th cocktail waitress something goes *horribly* wrong and it begins to inflate- first a little, then a lot, and finally, he's a float in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

Tino: Experiences almost no R.E.M. sleep thanks to his usual Quaalude and bottle of Thunderbird Wine nightcap...

Danielle: (to her best friend) "Well! Brian and I get MARRIED"! (squeals) "I'm wearing that satin hoop skirt dress we saw in the window of Wanda's Bridal Boutique and crystal ruby slippers and a tiara and dangling earrings and Tinkerbelle cologne and my real sterling silver heart necklace and he KISSES ME!" (both squeal) "and then" (sadly) "I wake up".

Angela: (to Raeanne) "It was like, *hideous*! I went to that disgusting house with Jordan Catalano and the mattress actually *squished* and I don't remember *doing* it but everyone *else* knew we did it and everyone was laughing and pointing at me in school and calling me *Mattress Girl* and stuff and then I woke up and it was like *so* scary and I'm so glad I didn't do it...". (Raeanne) "Doesn't sound like a dream to me...sounds more like my waking *life*".

Ricky: (To Raeanne and Angela) "It was sooo wonderful" (sighs dreamily) "I was on The Gay Dating Game and all three contestants- Ru Paul, Corey, and George Michael were *all* fighting over who would get me! In the end" (Rayanne giggles) "they all decided to *share* me equally. And then I woke up".

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Secret Fantasies by Angela Bigos
Published: 1997 | Size: 2 KB (370 words) | Language: english english | Rating: PG-13
Average: 3.3/5   3.3/5 (19 votes)

Read this story now: Secret Fantasies

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Average: 2.8/5   2.8/5 (13 votes)
  • I can't believe it commented on 05 Jul 2004:

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“Ignore her. She got up on the wrong side of the coffin this morning.”

Enrique (Rickie) Vasquez, Episode 9: "Halloween"