Fanfiction

Secret Fantasies

written by Angela Bigos

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based on stories and characters created by Winnie Holzman

I was wondering what secret fantasies the characters of MSCL had:

1) Jordan: To find out that he's the long-lost son of Hef. He inherits the mansion, the Playboy bunnies, the round revolving bed AND becomes a Famous Rock Star.

2) Mr. K: To have been Walt Whitman's love slave.

3) Uncle Neal: To be locked up for a year in Hooters with a hefty supply of Viagra and females who are always at that stage of PMS where Kenny Kingston of The Psychic Hotline looks *good*.

4) Patty: To be able to wear a black and red lace crotchless teddy from Frederick's Of Hollywood without first putting on long underwear. Also to be able to say "Clitoral Orgasm" without giggling.

5) Graham: To have Jacque Pepin beg *him* for recipes and get steamy late night phone calls from Julia Child offering to butter his baguettes.

6) Rayanne: To star in a remake of The Nun's Story.

7) Sharon: To have intercourse last longer than 3 seconds or, failing that, to become a combination Martha Stewart/Madonna/Mother Theresa/and mini skirted CEO of a multi-million dollar corporation who gives birth at her desk in-between power lunches.

8) Danielle: To become the next Spice Girl- Brainy Spice. To get a lot of cool Barbie stuff. Oh, and to marry Brian Crakow and stuff.

9) Camille: We know all about *her* with the sex tapes and handcuffs...

10) Brian: Well, if he can't have Angela *begging* for him, absolutely *begging* for him, then Uncle Neal's fantasy (see #3) minus the Viagra (Brian has the recuperative powers of a ferret) would do in a pinch.

11) Kyle: See first part of #7 and add a really bitchin' car to it.

12) Corey: To attend an Ivy League school, be good to his mama, and the second half of fantasy #10.

13) Rickey: To open a home for unwanted children AND have Ru Paul fall madly in love with him.

14) Angela: To take Rickey's sweetness, sensitivity and capacity for love, Brian's intelligence, Corey's down-to-earth niceness, Rayanne's spirit of fun and adventure, her mother's rock solid foundation, her father's decency and kindness, and stuff them all into bad boy Jordan Catalano thus making her Perfect Man.