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Chapter 9: A place for everthing, and everything in its place

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Chapter 9: A place for everthing, and everything in its place

written by v

added on: 27 Jun 2001 - based on characters created by Winnie Holzman

Angela's voice: I couldn't breath. As much as I knew what we did should have been one of the best things in the world, I knew we had made the worst mistake ever. How could I look at him or myself the same way again? I mean was sex like something that people just "had" as I once had thought? Or was it something more to us? Had anything really changed? I couldn't just be the same as I had always been with him. It doesn't work that way,as I've come to realize. Sex, like, changes everything.

Jordan: I don't know why, like everytime something happens...you have to make it into this big thing.

Angela: I cannot believe you don't think that this is already a big deal! I mean-

Jordan: Why do we have to talk about everything? Look, Angela, I'm sorry. I'm just...I just... I mean, I can't....

Angela: What???

Jordan: Can't I...

Angela: What Jordan? (angela seems tired of fighting)Just tell me what I did wrong....I mean, like what do you want? I thought this was what you wanted. Are you going to tell me now that it was like some kind of mistake?

Jordan: No!

Angela: Then what? Why can't we talk like people for once? Can't we just forget for one second how old we are and ,like, what happened weeks in the past and just talk about us? You and me Jordan...

Angela's Voice: As soon as I said it, the words took on a new life... I had never felt so, like, grown up. It's strange how you can come to realisations in your head about things you haven't really spoken about. Not out loud. My maturity came from nowhere. And I don't think for a second that it had, like, anything to do with the sex. I had changed so much in the past year. It was empowering, being able to step up and tell Jordan like exactly what I was thinking. I could never do that before. I would just look into his eyes and....

Jordan: (he is beaten by her words, and has a glaze over his eyes) I don't know how to do this Angela...what...how do you talk about something like this? I've never been asked...like, I would always just... and with you...it's-

Angela: different? (this is what she was looking for, Angela is smiling ear to ear and her eyes are filled with tears. She tries not to cry, to not scare him off)

Jordan: Yeah. I don't think we should have to talk about it. Like, what's the point really? I think you know, right?

Angela: Know what? What do I know?

Jordan: Angela....(he is hesitant to say) we've been through... so much crap. You weren't even talking to me for a while...al I could think of was how to get you back. I know that I've been, like, sorta... cold, I guess, sometimes, but I... I mean... after all that-

Angela's Voice: Yeah...

Angela: Yeah.... and ... Jordan, what? What do you think I should know?

Angela's Voice: This was one of those defining moments that our parents and teacher speak so much of everything moves in slow motion as if to, like, give a meaning to every single thing. His hair fell softly across his forehead and he pushed it carefully behind his ear. Then he put his hands in his pockets. It didn't matter anymore that we had done it at Tino's place, or that we had done it at all, something was different. And in that, like, moment, when I was looking at him, I could look through his nervous gaze, I saw what he was trying to tell me.

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Next Chapter

You have 2 choices: What should happen next?
  1. Jordan tells Angela that he loves her:
    Chapter 10: absolutely by laney figg (15 Aug 2001)
    no more subchapters.
  2. Jordan tells Angela that it's over, he can't handle a "real" relationship:
    Chapter 10: love-lives for dummies by vienna taylor (14 May 2002)
    no more subchapters.
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“My dad thinks every person in the world is having more fun than him.”

Angela Chase, Episode 1: "My So-Called Life (Pilot)"