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Episode No. 20 - Words don't come easy

written by Lady Guinevere

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About this story

Published: 28 Feb 2009 | Size: 35 KB (5410 words) | Language: english | Rating: PG-13

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This fic picks up the storyline the morning after the last episode. The letter Jordan/Brian wrote gives Angela many worries, as Jordan keeps avoiding a decent conversation with Angela. Finally Angela and Jordan talk about everything, and Angela and Brian also talk about the letter again. Meanwhile Graham and Hallie seem to clear the air.
Story updated on: March 28, 2009.

based on stories and characters created by Winnie Holzman

Wide awake, Angela lies in bed, staring at the ceiling.

Angela VO: “Last night I had the dream I kept having about Jordan Catalano again. I'm trying to catch up with him. But it's hard, because there's something wrong with the floor. Sometimes my father is there. Sometimes my great-aunt Gertrude's funeral kinda gets mixed in with it. I catch up with Jordan. I yell and scream, how he hurt and betrayed me. How I can never forgive him. Only this time, the end of the dream is different--Brian Krakow appears out of nowhere, holding up the letter he wrote for Jordan, and asks me to marry him. Then I wake up.”

[In the kitchen]

Absent-minded again, Angela walks into the kitchen, still wearing her peejays.

Patty says, “So, Angela. Did you and Jordan straighten things out? You were home rather quickly again last night.”

Angela startles from her thoughts. “Huh?”

Danielle grins. “Are you and Jordan kissing again…?!”

“Danielle! Shut up!” Angela calms down a bit and continues, “I’m not sure…” She flicks a lock of hair behind her ear, pondering, and leaves the kitchen again. Closing herself off from any further conversation.

Angela VO: “Did we straighten things out? Can I really forgive him for what he did to me? For having sex with my best friend, and giving me an apology-letter he didn’t even write himself? And to top it all off, he refuses to have a real conversation with me.
And what about Brian? I never realised he had a crush on me. Is it my introspectiveness that shuts my eyes from reality, or does my obsession with Jordan Catalano blind me from the *world*?”

Patty watches her eldest daughter leave the kitchen. “It’s so ironic to see your daughter relive your life…”

Graham answers, “You’re not talking about that Tony-guy, are you?”

“Well, it’s just… Even though talking to Jordan last night made me realize he really *does* care for her, and he never meant to hurt her… I still have my doubts. I can definitely see why she likes him, but I know it’s not going to be easy to be his girlfriend. And by the looks of it, Angela hasn’t just fallen in love with him, she has crashed… ”

“Patty, it's her life. Let her follow her heart, just like you did all those many, many, *many* years ago--”

Patty laughs. “Easy on the 'manys' there, old man!”

Ignoring his wife's remark, Graham continues with sarcasm in his voice. “And when she’s through with Jordan Catalano, becoming aware that he has nothing to offer her but big blue puppy-dog-eyes and an old car, she'll come to her senses. Then she will find herself a sensible young man, just like you did, all those many, many, *many* years ago.” He wraps his arms around Patty’s waist and leans his head on her shoulder.

Patty shakes her head and grins at his remark. “You know, sometimes I still wonder though…”

“Wonder about what, my dear?” Blind to Patty’s attempt at luring him out of his cage, Graham presses his lips to Patty’s neck.

“Whether I made the right choice or not…” Patty looks up at her husband and gives him a mischievous grin.

“I guess I’m gonna have to show you again then…” Graham spins Patty around so she’s facing him, eyeing her with a predatory look. “You’re *mine*, woman!” He chuckles quasi-evilly before he sinks his teeth into her neck.

[School hallway]

Angela VO: “It’s weird, knowing that the most beautiful letter you ever received, wasn’t written by the person you *want* it to be from. Should you keep pretending anyway, knowing that this person isn’t capable of expressing himself through words that well? Or should you confront him? Does it really matter, in the end?

“And to complicate things even more, do you confront the *actual* writer of the letter, because you know that the feelings on that precious piece of paper are his? Ignoring his feelings doesn’t seem like the right thing to do. Then again, shattering his dreams is like totally and utterly cruel as well…  It’s like having to choose between ignorance and defeat. Is ignorance indeed bliss? Or is it better to know the truth, and move on?”

From a safe distance, Angela watches Rickie and Brian engage in a conversation, while they stand by their lockers. Both guys are looking over at Jordan Catalano, no doubt with mixed feelings. Angela can almost hear their entire conversation and tries to maintain her invisibility while eavesdropping.

Rickie talks unsteadily while keeping his eyes fixed on Jordan. “So Brian, um, did you tell Angela the truth already? ‘Cause--you know--she’s a smart girl, and um, she may have figured out already who really wrote the letter.”

Brians eyes only flick away briefly from Jordan as he answers Rickie in a harsh tone. “She came up to me yesterday and asked me if *I* wrote the letter! So, why did you have to tell her I wrote the damn thing?!”

Rickie is hesitant. “I felt, um, as her friend, and also, as your friend... she needed to know the truth.”

“Yeah well, I can’t tell her the truth. She doesn’t even acknowledge my existence! She either uses me, or ignores me.”

“But what if you did tell her the truth? You’ve got nothing to lose, right? She already suspects you wrote it, so…”

Brian replies sarcastically, “Yeah, and maybe she'll dump Jordan Catalano and run off with me instead. Besides, I promised Catalano I’d help him, so now I have to suffer the consequences. It disgusts me beyond belief to see her swooning over this shallow-minded pretty boy, but it’s my own doing…”

“You know, maybe you should like, stop feeling sorry for yourself and go talk to Angela. She has a right to know, you know.”

Brian gets fierce. “She’s not dumb Rickie, she knows! Besides, I’d rather kill myself than declare my love for her. She doesn’t care about me, at all. She cares about *one* thing, and that’s Jordan Catalano over there.” His eyes point at Jordan instead of his fingers.

They walk away from their lockers, Brian still glaring at Jordan Catalano, who is leaning against the walls, totally unaware of being the topic of their conversation. Seemingly unaware of almost everything that is happening around him, for that matter.

Giving up her invisibility, Angela watches Rickie and Brian disappear out of her sight.

Angela VO: “I hate to admit it, but Brian may be like, right… No matter how many letters he would write to me, Jordan Catalano is the only one I really care for… Brian, he’s just… like, *Brian*. I never eyed him as a potential love or anything. So what’s the point of talking to him anyway? He knows the truth, apparently.
I gave him a chance to tell me how he feels about me, but he passed it up. He won’t admit it to me, so what am I supposed to? Am I supposed to keep chasing after him, and embarras him by letting him confess to me that he has feelings for me? And then embarrassing him even more by crushing his heart, because I am not going to answer his feelings anyway?”

From across the hallway Angela’s eyes meet Jordan’s for a moment. Both of them seem to tell entire tales with just their eyes, yet neither one speaks with their mouth. Why is it so hard to be in love? Why won’t Jordan talk to her, like, *actually* talk?  

[At the restaurant place]

Graham walks in, and finds Hallie sitting on the ledge of the mermaid-statue. There’s an awkward silence between them, broken only by Graham’s, “Hey…”

“Graham… About last night…”

“It didn’t mean anything, did it? Tell me it was just one of those awkward moments between a man and a woman--”

“Yeah, just a spur of the moment thing, it didn’t mean anything, I just got caught up in the thrill of the excitement of our achievement. I was just happy that we succeeded, and obviously I am fond of you, but that’s it!”

“Because Hallie, if there is something more going on here, I need to know. We’re going to be partners, we’re gonna work together, side by side, day and night…”

Getting up from the mermaids-statue, Hallie wanders around the restaurant for a few moments. Her eyes are fixed to the floor while she searches for the right words. Suddenly, her pacing comes to a halt and her eyes seek out Graham’s. “I promise you Graham, there’s nothing more to this. Nothing at all. I just enjoy your company, and well, let’s face it, that’s a good thing, since we’re going to be working together, side by side, day and night…” A mischievous grin accompanies Graham’s quote.

Graham’s eyes are having trouble staying fixed to Hallie’s intense stare. He can’t help but feel she’s covering up her true feelings by turning this into one big joke. A gut feeling tells him she’s not being totally honest, but he refuses to express his suspiscions to her. “Good, good, I just needed to clear the air, since, well, you know…”

“I know, Graham. I promise, I want nothing more from you than your fantastic cooking skills.” She nudges him in his side.

[In the school hallways]

Angela VO: “It’s like, whenever you want to run into someone, you won’t see them, ever. But as soon as you want to avoid someone, they’re everywhere! It’s probably like some unwritten law of the universe. Here I am, like, trying to avoid Jordan Catalano because of my mixed-up emotions, and yet I can’t seem to escape him anywhere. It’s like he’s stalking me or something. Those piercing blue eyes haunt me everywhere, not giving me a moment’s rest to clear my head of all my thoughts on him…”

Angela pretends to be busy stuffing books in her locker, hoping Jordan won’t notice her. It’s times like these that make her bummed out about dying her hair Crimson red. Why can’t her hair be like a *normal* colour, so Jordan won’t notice it’s her and stop harassing her! Unfortunately Jordan has spotted Angela and is coming over to her. “Angela!”

She puts a lock of red hair behind her ear. “Hey…”

Angela was hoping yesterday evening’s drive was going to clear the air between Jordan and her. She was hoping he would strike up a conversation with her, about the letter. About his feelings, maybe. But not a single word came from his mouth. After a while of listening to the silence, only interrupted by Jordan’s breaths, she was sick of it and asked him to take her back home. He granted her request and drove her home, continuing the silence. When they had reached her house she was on the brink of addressing him, she was *so* ready to shout out at him that he had to talk to her, but chose to bite her tongue instead, leaving Jordan alone with his thoughts. If he had any, of course.

Angela feels numb, she’s so tired of thinking and waiting around for Jordan to take action.  

“So, what’s up?” Jordan’s hands are tucked in his pockets.

The bell rings for the second time.

“Jordan, I…" Angela turns around halfway. "Don’t you think we need to talk about what happened?”

“Dunno, I just thought, with the letter and all…” Jordan’s eyes are fixated on the floor instead of on Angela’s face.

“Look, I’m late for class. I’ve gotta go, sorry.” Angela closes her locker-door with a bang and her eyes seem to ask Jordan: Why are you still here, in my way? Careful not to let her body brush against Jordan’s, she slips past him, leaving Jordan behind acting very uncomfortable.

Angela VO: “I have seen Jordan Catalano walk away from me so many times, that I could recognize him just by looking at his backside. All this time I have wanted him to walk up to me, but now I want him to ignore me, so I don’t have to think about him, or about what he did. But I can’t keep pushing him away forever.

“I need to face my problems, just as much as he needs to face them.  We need to talk about everything, because if we can’t do that, we won’t have a future. And if *we* don’t have a future then *I* won’t have a future, because living without Jordan Catalano, is like living without air. He’s like an addiction to me, I can’t quit him… I will die without him…”

[In the girls restroom]

Sharon carefully asks Rayanne, “So, I heard Angela and Jordan kinda made up… Does this mean she’s forgiven him?”

“I guess…” Acting like she doesn’t care, Rayanne raises her shoulders, putting the lollipop back in her mouth.

“So… Where does that leave you?” Sharon observes Rayanne’s face for any feelings.

“Dunno.” From various angles, Rayanne checks her face in the mirror.

“I mean, it’s not like I condone what you did to her, but I mean--if she can forgive Jordan--why not you?”

“Beats me. You know, she’s still ignoring me and when she's not doing that, she’s giving me the silent treatment. I gotta face it… it’s the end of Angela and me…” Rayanne gets agitated.

“Have you like, tried talking to her?” Sharon can’t believe there’s no fixing this; after all, she made up with Angela in the end too.

Rayanne answers briskly, “Yeah, like I told you, Cherski, that’s kinda hard if she pretends I'm invisible.”

“What if like, you ask her to come to the play? She’s the one who insisted you’d audition in the first place…”

Rayanne cocks her eyebrow at Sharon. “Yeah, but that was like *before* I… um…”

“Look, it’d be great if we could hang together, right? So, promise me you’ll try?” Sharon’s eyes beg Rayanne to make another effort.

“Whatever…” Rayanne leaves the girls’ bathroom, Sharon following shortly after.

[After school]

Outside, just where Angela expected him to be, Jordan is leaning against his car. Her heart skips a beat at the sight of him and her face can’t seem to suppress a smile. His fingers hold up a cigarette stub just inches away from his face, while his lips blow out tiny streamers of smoke. She has decided it’s time to give Jordan one more chance to talk to her, to tell her the truth. “Hey.”

Jordan looks up, smiling faintly. “Hey."

“So…” Angela eyes Jordan hopefully.

“So…” Jordan flicks the stub away and tucks his hands in his pockets uncomfortably.

Angela tries to get Jordan to talk to her by asking him another question: “So, what’s new?”

“Nothing much… You want a ride home?” Before Angela has the chance to answer him, Jordan opens the door to his car to let Angela in, apparently expecting she’ll come with him.

Angela gets in, shifting back and forth on the cold leather of the seat. Jordan slides down next to her, his face displaying no emotion, just a blank stare. He doesn’t say a word during the entire drive to Angela’s place.

Angela VO: “It is so weird, that despite everything that has happened lately, nothing has changed. Everything is different, but everything is the same. Did I suddenly expect Jordan Catalano to pour his heart out to me? Did I really expect to have deep, meaningful conversations with him all of a sudden?
The only thing that has changed, is that now I *think* he cares about me. But I’ll never now for sure, if he can’t find the words to tell me by himself. And no matter how badly I want him to tell me honestly that he did *not* write that letter, does it really matter that much?”

Angela VO: “Looking into my heart tells me I do want him to confess about the letter. I want to hear he is sorry, in his own words, formed by his own lips. No matter how poorly chosen those words may be, they will be *his* words. And that will be my evidence that Jordan Catalano really cares for me, even if he did something very hurtful to me...”

In front of the Chase’s house, Jordan pulls his car over. His blue eyes are staring at her all open, his lips are displaying a faint smile.

“So…” Angela looks down at her hands, lying in her lap.


“I’d better go inside, I’ve got like tons of homework to do.” Lying through her teeth, Angela can’t bear to sit here in silence for another minute.

“Yeah, okay. I’ve got like, band rehearsal later, so.”

Angela answers distantly, “Bye then…”

Slowly, Jordan leans in to kiss Angela, but she turns her head away from him. “We need to talk, Jordan. We need to talk about what happened, and we need to talk about the letter you wrote me.”

Jordan shifts in his seat extremely uncomfortably. “Like, now?”

“Like, now, yes. Just... tell me how you feel."

Jordan’s hands grab hold of the steering wheel. “Ooh, this sucks. You *know* I’m like, bad with words!”

“Just give it your best shot, I’m all ears. I don’t care how you tell me, just *tell* me.” Angela is inexorable. This is his shot, if he blows this conversation she doubts they will ever get back together. If he can’t express his feelings to her now, he will never be able to do so.

“Look, I never meant… I didn’t wanna hurt you or anything. It just happened, I guess. I mean, she was like, there, and I felt…” Jordan’s eyes are shut again, like he can think better that way. “I felt like, lonely, I guess. And I like, had way too much to drink, you know. It’s not like I even *like* her, or anything. Not like I like you anyway.” Jordan slouches in his seat, awaiting Angela’s reaction.

“I know you never meant for it to happen. And I know you never meant to hurt me either. Otherwise we wouldn’t even be *here* right now, having this conversation.” Angela gives Jordan a sympathetic look.

“Look, I’m like, sorry it happened, okay? I’m like, sorry, I hurt you.” Jordan feels totally exhausted from all the thinking and talking, his fingers are rubbing his eyes.

“Thank you, Jordan, it means a lot to me to finally hear you say those words. And thank you for like, finally giving me the chance to forgive you. Because you hurt me really bad, you know? And I like, wanted you to tell me in your *own* words that you are sorry, not in some stupid letter!” Angela’s lips start to quiver, but she gets a grip on herself and continues, “You didn’t write the letter yourself, did you?”

“What makes you think--? I mean…” Jordan’s tongue flicks over his lips.

“I know you, remember? I know you didn’t write those words, they’re just not like, *you*.”

“Come on Angela, does it like, really matter *who* wrote them?”

“It matters to me.” Angela looks at him expectantly.

“Okay, okay. So, they like, weren’t totally my words. But I wanted them to be. And I like, tried to tell you, but it was, like, you wouldn’t listen.” The eyelids that were covering up his blue eyes, flap open in a second. Some sort of piercing blue conviction is added to his words instantly.

“You tried to tell me? I must have missed that bit then. So, tell me, did you try to write something yourself?” Her anger is slightly subsiding, but still bubbling underneath the surface.

“Yeah, I tried. But it was, like, I had so many thoughts…” Jordan pauses. “My head was like, this big mess.”

“So, you let someone else think of your words for you? And *who* would you entrust with that job?” Angela tries to maintain her distance, to let him feel the seriousness of the situation.

“Brain. He like knew, what was in my head, or something. Yeah, he um, he like, knew what I wanted to say.” Jordan’s eyes express agony. He doesn’t like being forced to think things through and talk about them.

“So you asked Brian to like, write the letter for you?” Angela tries to look incredulous, one eyebrow cocked at him. Ofcourse, she already knows Brian wrote it, but she wants to know how it happened that way. Did Brian like, offer, to do it, or did Jordan ask him?

“Well, sorta, I guess. I mean, we were like, in tutoring, and um, my head, just wasn’t in it, you know? So, I told him I blew it and he like, suggested I write it down. And um, somehow he ended up writing it, like, for me.” Jordan’s hands emphasize certain parts of his words.

“Look, I already know that Brian wrote it. Rickie told me. But it still doesn’t make it right, you know. I would have been more satisfied with a letter that *you* wrote, from your heart.” Her posture betrays her feelings for him. She can’t keep him at a distance for long, because hurting him was never the point of this talk.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. But it’s like, the things he wrote, actually came from me, I just…” He looks at Angela pleadingly, his eyes begging her to stop this interrogation. His words come out the wrong way, but his expression clearly states his true feelings.

His voice becomes hoarse, “I was like, afraid, if I said like, the wrong things to you, I’d lose you like, forever.”

The breaking of Jordan’s heart is almost audible in the silence after this confession. Crumbling, Angela lets him near her heart again, but she needs to finish this conversation first; before she gets lost in his eyes again, or smothered in his kisses.

“Winning my trust back, has nothing to do with like, how well-chosen your words are. What matters is that you let me know you’re *sorry*. I don’t care if you’re a poet or not, I like you. Just be *you*, okay?” She reaches out and lays a hand on his sleeve, her fingers kneading his fore-arm through the fabric of his jacket.

Jordan’s eyes stray to Angela’s hand and then stare right back at her. “I’m sorry, Angela. I guess, I like, could have known that…”

“I forgive you. You know, if you had written just the words ‘I’m sorry’ in a letter, you still would have enchanted me into thinking it was the most beautiful thing I’d ever read.” Her fingertips brush gently over his cheek, making Jordan shut his eyes.

“Neah, I don’t believe you.”

“Believe me. Oh, you have no idea how happy I am we finally had a chance to talk this over. It was weighing on me like a ton of bricks.”

Angela VO: “Finally, Jordan and I talked things over, and I can forgive him. He apologized to me and admitted to not writing the letter himself. I don’t think I’ve heard him talk this much, ever. I got everything I wanted and more, but something keeps gnawing on my mind, not giving me the chance to enjoy being around Jordan fully yet.
It’s like, every single time I am in Jordan’s car, I think about him and Rayanne having sex, here in his car. During the silent drives we’ve had the last few days, I’ve had plenty of time to envision the two of them going at it, nauseating me. I’m just not completely ready yet, to pick up where we left off.”

Angela’s face is becoming worried. “I still need some time, Jordan. Whenever I’m in your car, it’s like… I just can’t--”

“Whatever…I just thought, you know… We were like, okay now.” Nervously, Jordan puts his hair behind his ear.

“We are, I mean, I forgive you, but being in here, makes me kinda nauseous sometimes, because I know--” Angela’s eyes implore understanding from Jordan.

“Yeah, I get it, I guess. But I’m *not* getting rid of Red, if that’s like, what you’re asking me to--”

Angela interrupts him, giving him a compassionate look, “No, no, I wouldn’t want you to like, give up your car for me, don’t be crazy! I’m just asking you for some time, because I’m reminded of it, like, constantly.”

“I’ll do like, whatever it takes, for you, like, to trust me again. Time is fine, I’ll give you time.” His eyes still show he’s not completely at ease. He knows he’s close to having her back again, but the damage he did still has to been undone.

“Thanks, Jordan. I was hoping you’d understand. Let’s just take things slow, okay?”

Angela VO: “It’s like Jordan is eyeing me differently now. The old Jordan wouldn’t give me any time, he practically *forced* me to do something I wasn’t ready to do yet. And when I didn’t want to do it, he just gave up on me. But now, Jordan has changed. I think he realises what I mean to him, and he isn’t going to give me up just like that. He said so himself, he doesn’t want to lose me again.”

“Yeah, slow is good.” It’s like Jordan is afraid to move, afraid of Angela’s reaction.

Leaning in to kiss him again, Angela’s lips softly brush over his, pressure building. Their lips get hungry for more, eagerly tasting each other. Jordan’s hands curl in Angela’s hair, drawing her closer to him. Their kiss deepens and their tongues participate in the exploration. Angela’s hands wander over Jordan’s jacket, and end up tangled in his hair.

A smile washes over her face, making Jordan back out of their kiss, hoarsely questioning her, “What’s up?”

“Nothing, I’m just happy, I guess.” Angela rests her head on Jordan’s shoulder, sniffing up his scent. He wraps an arm around her.

“Yeah, me too.” Jordan’s hand strokes her hair.

From the corner of her eye Angela sees Brian Krakow cycling circles on the street in front of his house. His eyes fixated on her and Jordan non-stop. “Jordan, I have to go.” Angela entangles herself from their embrace and kisses Jordan once more. “Pick me up tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I’ll be there. Bye.” A faint smile graces Jordan’s face.

“Bye, Jordan Catalano.” Angela smiles and shifts over the seat. She gets out, and lingers on the sidewalk, watching Jordan’s car turn into nothing more than a little dot on the horizon.

Like a hamster trapped in his tiny treadmill, Brian Krakow is still going in circles. Angela feels kinda sorry for him. “Hey…”

Brian cycles up to her, his circles ridden right before her nose, dizzying her slightly. “Hey Chase… So, you and Catalano back together again?”

Wanting to snap at him that it isn’t any of his business, Angela she realises it kinda is. *He* wrote the letter that made her forgive him in the first place, even though the words turned out to be Brian’s feelings… That must have been so hard on him.

So instead of snapping back something rude, she tells him the truth. “I guess so… I mean, we’re taking things slow, for now.”

Brian looks at her, incredulous. “So you really forgave him? After reading his letter, I mean.”

Angela snaps at him, “His letter? Or yours, Brian?”

Brian’s bicycle comes to a sudden stop right in front of Angela. “I already told you, I only corrected the spelling. I had nothing to do with the contents.”

“Why won’t you stop lying Krakow?” Angela drops her bag on the sidewalk and fixes her eyes onto Brian’s.

“Would it like, make a difference then?” Brian’s eyes are fixed to the floor, his shoe shoving back and forth a little pebble or something.

“I guess not. I know Jordan didn’t write it. It won’t change how I feel about him.”

Brian mumbles in a low voice, “Despite what he did to you you still care for him… How pathetic is that…?”

Angela raises her voice at him. “You’re calling me pathetic? Me? You are the one who writes letters for other people, living your life vicariously through them. You’re afraid to admit you have feelings for me, and why? Because they’re not like, scientifically proven or anything? Or is it because you’re afraid of rejection? And not that it’s any of your business, but yes, I do still love Jordan Catalano.”

Brian replies angrily, “Maybe you’re right, maybe I am pathetic. Apparently I am too busy helping other people get their lives together so there’s no time left for *this* loser!” Brian points his index-finger at his chest and pauses for a while.
“And what do you expect, Chase, you’ve been ignoring me like, all through High School, you never even gave me a chance to tell you how I feel! It’s like, you and me inhabit completely different solar systems nowadays! And I don’t understand why you’re dimwitted enough to wait around for Jordan Catalano to like, hurt you, again. He already proved once what an unreliable idiot he is. Can’t you just forget him, and like, move on?”

“Don’t you ever call him an unreliable idiot again!” Her finger points at Brian’s face, dangerously close to his eye. “Sure, he’s made a mistake, but at least now I know he’s sorry. Unlike some other people, he has the *guts* to let me know I mean something to him. And like, forgetting Jordan Catalano is *not* an option, believe me, I’ve tried.” Angela laughs sarcastically .
“And I guess I’m like, sorry for ignoring you, but you know, people like, change. Or at least, they’re supposed to, you know? Besides, this is already the *second* chance I’ve given you to tell me how you feel, but you keep beating around the bush for some lame reason.”

“Yeah, I can see you’ve changed, Chase, a lot, but it’s not like, all good, you know? You think you’re too cool to be seen with someone like me, I get it. And that’s exactly why I’m not gonna tell you how I feel, because you don’t even care about it. All you care about is Jordan Catalano and your oh-so-cool friends, you know, the backstabbing kind of friends. I don’t fit in your life anymore. No matter how much I want it to be a lie, it’s the truth.”

After Brian finishes, Angela falls silent for a while. All the sentences that come to mind seem abundant and meaningless.

“I… um… Look, it’s just, how life works out sometimes, you know? People like, change sometimes, whether you like it or not. People like, come and go, I guess. It’s not that I don’t care about you, I just…”  Telling Brian she doesn’t care for him like she does for Jordan, is harder than she expected. Surely he understands that she wants to make this thing with Jordan work.

“Yeah, I get it. You have trouble remembering who your *real* friends are. I’ll try to stay out of your way from now on. Don’t hate me when they turn on you and I tell you 'I told you so'. If it’s alright with you, this ‘person’ is ‘going’ now.”

“Whatever.” Not in the mood to talk any further, Angela turns around abruptly, picking up her backpack.  

Hopping back on his saddle, Brian watches Angela’s silhouette disappear into her house before he cycles back home, heartbroken yet again.

Author's note: Thanks to: Kenny for doing the beta!

Next story

Episode No. 21 - Religion and regrets by Lady Guinevere
Published: 01 Mar 2009 | Size: 31 KB (4720 words) | Language: english english | Rating: PG-13
Waiting for 5 votes before displaying rating information.
Jordan and Angela are back together, but they’re taking things slow. Brian unwillingly puts another idea in Jordan’s head to win Angela’s trust back completely. Rayanne keeps having regrets and keeps on trying to win Angela and Rickie’s trust and friendship back, while Graham and Hallie have a huge fight.
Story updated on: March 28, 2009.

Read this story now: Episode No. 21 - Religion and regrets

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  • Maartje gave this story a 5.0/5 5.0/5 rating and commented on 12 Mar 2009:
    Cool story! I love it, its exactly how I picture it to continue and its even better than in my head! Very well written and I can't wait to read more!! more!! more!! Such a shame the serie had to end, but luckely theres good writersm, like you, out there to keep it going :)

    xxx M
  • MonnyUK gave this story a 5.0/5 5.0/5 rating and commented on 29 May 2009:
    This is a very good story and I guess how things would have worked out. I love Brian but I think he would have never unless under undue pressure admitted how he felt for Angela. The way you have captured the spirit of the characters is really good. I can't wait to read the rest of your stories.
  • loonie gave this story a 5.0/5 5.0/5 rating and commented on 16 Jul 2010:
    This is just amazing. I can picture the story in my head, it is very well written. I like a lot the way you describe Jordan and Angela. I can't wait to read the following episodes =D
  • meika gave this story a 4.0/5 4.0/5 rating and commented on 31 Jul 2011:
    I was so hoping someone had continued the story. Can't wait to read the rest of your episodes :D
  • SC gave this story a 2.0/5 2.0/5 rating and commented on 06 Nov 2011:
    I can't help but feel that the author wrote these stories after having forgotten a lot about the show. The characters' voices aren't anything like the actual series. Also, some of the writing was problematic - like the exposition on what Graham's thinking when Hallie says she doesn't have feelings for him - if it's not dialogue and it's not a vo, it's not something that can be conveyed to the audience in a tv show. Finally, Angela's hair is Crimson Glow, not 'crimson red'. Please, that is like, *so* known ;)

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“My dad thinks every person in the world is having more fun than him.”

Angela Chase, Episode 1: "My So-Called Life (Pilot)"