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Chapter 7: His So-Called Life in "Red"

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Chapter 7: His So-Called Life in "Red"

written by Kat

added on: 10 Nov 1999 - based on characters created by Winnie Holzman

hey I wanted to write a poem as like an intro to the my part of the story. This is my first attempt at writing so please don't be too harsh, and sorry if it's too long. I used an exerpt from a Jim Carrol poem While She's Gone and another line of his is in my poem too.

I lost myself in your so-called life
In guitar chords for songs not meant for me
In your kisses, inside cars and the boiler room
You give yourself away so easily these days
You don't know the price you pay
And it's not cheap
It's sad when a feeling dies
between two people
One of them has already buried the flowers
that bloomed between you in a letter
And the other one lives on with the residue of the feeling
Watching you slide away
Watching you from the inside of his car
Red's going no where

Angela: VO . . . it's funny how I thought the problem was what Jordan and Rayanne did that night . . . but it wasn't. I guess the problem was us. And now looking at him so-close to me now, it's like I don't know him anymore.

(Angela staring at Jordan who's head is laid back, eyes closed. He's softly humming "Red" the song he played to Angela in the loft so long ago.) Memories of their first kiss flood her mind. She feels a tiny ache deep inside.

Angela VO: Like who we were before is different from what we've become.

Jordan turns in his seat towards her. His eyes, two skies, silently pleading for her to let her back in . . . after everything.

Jordan: "Do you know that guy Jim Carrol?"

Angela:(confused) "The guy who wrote the Basketball Diaries" She saw the movie with Leonardo DiCaprio in it and always had this fantasy of her and Leo being Romeo and Juliet.

Jordan: "You make a stranger a lover and a lover a stranger. I don't want that to happen to us. I . . ." He closes his eyes and swallows as if he's trying to keep his composure. "I . . . I love you." Looking right into her.

Angela's chin trembles the way she gets right before she's about to cry. It's like her heart is about to spill out of her throat.

Angela VO: And with those words it all came out what we went through and what could have been. But the feeling wasn't there anymore.

Angela: "You love someone that died a long time ago. Jordan we're not the same anymore, and it's not about what happened . . . we were growing apart before it happened."

Jordan: "But I said I love you!"

Angela: "How do you know if you're still going to be saying that the next time you're in a car with another girl! Good-bye Jordan."

And wiping away the tears from her eyes Angela walks away from the car.

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“My dad thinks every person in the world is having more fun than him.”

Angela Chase, Episode 1: "My So-Called Life (Pilot)"