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My So-Called Love (by Angela)

written by Nadya Palermo

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About this story

Published: 09 Nov 1999 | Size: 19 KB (3643 words) | Language: english | Rating: PG-13
Average: 3.1/5   3.1/5 (56 votes)
Angela talks about her love life

based on stories and characters created by Winnie Holzman

Hey, hey, hey! It’s me again. This time with a brand new fic. Now I’m on this very long story (wait for it and please be patient) This is the first series of nine collection. It’s suppose to be the story of the MSCL gang’s love life, the whole complete and uncensored truth. The story is by Angela, Rickie, Rayanne, Brian, Sharon, Jordan, Danielle, Patty and Graham. It includes their deepest secrets of ‘love’. Enjoy...

-My So-Called Love by Angela-

written by Nadya Palermo(

This story is dedicated to that person who showed me love, you know who you are

All I know is, that I guess everyone knows that I’m crazy over Jordan Catalano. I’ll admit it. I am. Some people might think I’m this shallow person that likes someone only by their looks but the truth is, I like him ’cause he er- leans great, besides being seriously cute and gorgeous. I can still remember the first time I actually almost touched his shoulder during a pop quiz. I’m actually in middle of a quiz and I could think of him in the middle of all that. It’s like he has this power over me. I don’t know. Or maybe it was love at first sight? Rayanne said I wanted to have sex with him. Rayanne, my ticket to Jordanism. She practically knows everything on how to get us together. She was the one who arranged that we meet to give that stupid fake ID which I never even use, for an excuse. She even told him that I was French and he actually believed it! But when I first had like the first conversation with him he seemed sweet and attractive. I don’t know how many out there thinks that not knowing what day of the week is cute. The second conversation, and the first time in his car which is what he loves more than me, was when I found out he was to rushing on things. He had like, no respect for me or what so ever, when he just lunged at me trying to kiss me. I pushed him off even though I really wanted it. From that moment I was confused about ‘us’. But as what I told Rayanne that was just an introductory kiss. I never even knew it existed. I couldn’t hate him because what he did. Even if someone laid out 100 reasons to do so, I’ll still _want_ him. It’s like something that is already written in the laws of the earth which I must follow. After this ‘incident’, there was this rumour going around the whole school about me and Jordan had complete sex in his car. I hated that rumour and Rayanne couldn’t figure out why. She actually said that this was the next level for ‘us’ to be closer. Yeah right. Fat chance. I didn’t know what Jordan thought of me when he found out about the rumour but he did enjoy the rumour and told me that we should actually do it. I knew I wanted to but that’s not I want from Jordan Catalano. Soon I found out the mastermind behind all of this, Sharon Cherski. I wasn’t really relived when Jordan told me to forget about sleeping with him. I felt like, the greatest opportunity of my life is just flying away. I could bang my head on the wall. Now Jordan would never again be interested in me. One more thing that I can see happening around me is that Jordan is always avoiding Rayanne. After all of this I finally made a stand to get over him. I wrote a love letter which I never intended to give him. The letter which expressed all of my feelings for him and it seems bad luck decided to stick with me when fate decided to loose that letter. I could kill Rayanne for losing it in the first place. And where did the genius lose it? In a museum. The first place where we had like, our first real conversation in our lives. All my joys about that ‘moment’ was like destroyed when Rayanne announced that something very important is lost. The letter is about my feelings for him which is so indescribable that five pages of the letter isn’t actually enough. I lost this letter and Rayanne told me to chill. How can I chill when a letter bearing all my deepest secrets for him is somewhere. It was like losing a diary or something so I couldn’t ‘chill’. Out of all the people in the world who found it? One guy, Jordan Catalano. Lucky he didn’t knew how to read or I’ll die of embarrassment. I mean it’s something I actually wanted, him to be like that. In fact that problem made me closer to him. The second kiss with him is something which I could never forget. He was the fourth, no, third guy I kissed. Pretty pathetic for a 15 year old. The most embarrassing thing about me was when I thought that song I’ve been like, humming almost every time was for me. It was written by him and titled ‘Red’. Rickie convinced me that the song was like, written about me. Guess how I felt when I found out that it was actually about his car. We had our first wonderful moments in the school’s boiler room and we broke up after the I-don’t-wanna-have-sex-with-you problem. But it was the most weirdest break up when I realise we were totally like, became best friends. He talks more when we’re not a couple which makes it stranger still. But when he ‘ummed’ Rayanne and betrayed me, I’ve sworn to never speak to him again but I knew, deep inside my heart that I still like him. It’s like this thing that will stay with me ‘till death. A serious case of Jordan-ities. But when he wrote that letter to me, things started to come out clearer, that we’re meant to be no matter what happens. But when I found out Brian wrote the letter, I felt more dissapointed that he lied to me once more and once again, we broke of. But now, we’re back together again for the third time but who’s counting?

I’m in Liberty’s hallway when I saw him. He was at my locker, probably waiting for me. He gave me a flash of his sweetest smile when he saw me. We kissed as we met ignoring the going-ons at the hallway. Every kiss felt the same like the first one. Precious, unforgettable and sincere. It gave me the sense of comfort, love and devotion. And I knew no-one could ever give me this feeling. He stroked my hair afterwards.

* * *

Jordan: Hey.

Angela: Hi.

Jordan: I have this er, thing so I won’t be seeing you for a while.

Angela: What?

Jordan: (leaving)Later.

* * *

And he left just like that. I just saw him walking down the halls, fading into the crowd. I couldn’t say anything, I mean what can I say? He always have problems which he never tells me but sometimes, it makes me feel as if he never trust me. As if nothing happened, I just walked to homeroom and never saw him in three days. Three days without him seems like eternity. I asked Rayanne what was wrong and she said that Tino told her about Jordan’s family problems and it’ll work out, eventually. I couldn’t help doubting Tino’s words. What does he know? He doesn’t care. I decided to his problem or whatever it is but I didn’t felt lonely when he was gone. Me, Rayanne and Rickie had fun at a gig and Sharon gave me a makeover. She says the way I dress is so lame. Me? look at hers. It was different from hanging out with him. But that night, around midnight on a Friday night, I heared a knock on the back door. I opened it curiously and found him on my doorway. What was I doing at midnight in the kitchen that time? I dunno. I couldn’t sleep. I thought a glass of milk would do it but instead, I find Jordan on my doorway.

I wanted to scream and ask him "Where did you go?" How can he leave without saying anything to me? but when I saw him that moment, I felt more glad to see him because I realised that I was very worried about him more than anything else. I lunged at him and hugged him tightly. " I miss you" came out from my mouth, over and over again in his warm arms which was hugging me tight.

* * *

Jordan: I miss you too (kissed her forehead)

Angela: (shutting the door) Why are you here?

Jordan: ( drinking the milk Angela poured for herself) I need a place to crash. Tino can’t have me any longer.

Angela: Why can’t you go home?

Jordan: ‘Cause I just can’t!

Patty’s voice: Angela? Are you down there?

Angela: Save the explanation. Let’s sneak into my room.

* * *

He opened his jacket and threw it on my bedroom floor. I threw him a shirt hoping he would fit into it. I did this all in silence because firstly, my mum was in the other room nearby and secondly, because I was angry at him for shouting at me like that just now. He took out his shirt revealing his tough, muscular body and broad shoulders. It was a sight I don’t get to see everyday. Then I notice a serious bruise with a cut on the left side of his shoulder. I gasped in shock and all he could do is smile.

* * *

Angela: What happened?

Jordan: It’s, it’s nothing. Really. I fell. Forget about it okay?

Angela: (getting a soaked towel) Who did this to you? When and how did this happen?

Jordan: Can you like, stop asking me this questions, ouch!

Angela: ( removing the towel) Sorry.( taking some iodine) this might hurt and please try not to scream.

* * *

Jordan shut his eyes tight, bearing the pain. I prayed that it wouldn’t hurt so much. Finally I bandaged his cut. Some ‘friend’ Tino is to let Jordan go on like this.

* * *

Jordan: I don’t think I could ever fit into this.

Angela: It’s the biggest shirt I have. I’ll get one of my parents tomorrow morning. I mean my dad’s.

Jordan: Thanks.

Angela: How can we go on like this? How can we not have an honest relationship? Why can’t you tell me what the hell’s going on?

Jordan: I told you earlier. I just can’t.

* * *

I couldn’t say anything else. He was so stubborn. I ignored him and kept back the shirt. Suddenly he finally told me the real story of his life. His life without parents in the house, how life was so unfair to him. He stayed with Tino after he had a big fight with his dad and how he beat him up after a long time. Those words of his just hit me like bullets. Like, I’m totally helpless. I felt his innocent eyes looking into mine. I just went speechless. Suddenly I understood him. My eyes started to swell up but Jordan cried first. I’ve never seen him cry before, crying out his pain that stayed with him for such a long time. He looked so hurt. We embraced each other the whole night. Soon we fell asleep.

When I woke up in the morning, I found myself in his arms on my bed. I moved closer to him and kissed his bare chest. Then he woke up, saw me and smiled. I smiled back and he pulled me closer towards him. He held me in I realised it was morning. I woke up to see myself in his arms. Then he woke up and he looked deeply into my eyes. He held me his arms and we kissed. He started kissing my neck and I could feel his sweet lips. He then ran his fingers through my hair and kissed it. I snuggled closer to his body and felt the warmness. God I love the way he smells.

* * *

Jordan: I want this moment to last forever.

Angela: We’re lucky today’s a Saturday.

Jordan: Angela?

Angela: Humm?

Jordan: I don’t know where to go.

Angela: Just don’t leave now (a knock on the door. Angela and Jordan quickly got up. Angela opened her closet) In here, quick! (Jordan entered and they kissed just before shutting the closet door. Then she ran and opened the door)

Danielle: (in the doorway) What’s going on?

Angela: (smiling) Nothing!

Danielle: (entering and looking around)Are you hiding something in here?

Angela: Of course not! Wh-why should I?!

Danielle: You don’t have to shout. (peeping into the closet which was a bit open) What’s in there?

Angela: (holding Danielle by the shoulders and guiding her out) Can you get out, please? Mum! Danielle’s being a pest! (shutting the door) That was close. Too close.

* * *

We spent the whole day listening to CDs and watching t.v. Then we made simple lunch and while we were sitting around the foyer eating ham sandwiches, I tried to ask him the questions I’m like, dying to ask him since last night.

* * *

Angela: Jordan?

Jordan: Yeah?

Angela: How long are you going to stay here?

Jordan: (looking around the house) If I had one wish. Just one wish. I would like to live in a house like yours, have clean sheets, new clothes. Is that to much to ask for?

Angela: No. Have you talked to your mum?

Jordan: No. She doesn’t care a shit about me.

Angela: Well maybe you’re not trying hard enough.

Jordan: Well why are you so put up about it?

Angela: I just want to make sure you’re happy.

Jordan: (kissing her) I’m happy here with you.

* * *

So he has a problem but I couldn’t sit around and do nothing. I wanted to help. And who did I turn to? Brian Krakow.

* * *

-Inside Brian’s home-

Brian: No. He can’t stay with me.

Angela: Why not? (in a begging motion) Please?

Brian: Why am I the only one in this world you always come for help?

Angela: Because you’re my friend. And I’ll always help you, right? (Brian gives no attention to what she’s saying)Fine! Be like that! When you’re in some stupid trouble don’t come crawling on me(slams the door. Brian sighs annoyingly and chased after Angela)

Brian: Okay, okay I’ll help.

Angela: (happily)Thanks.

Brian: So does he have parents or something?

Angela: Why? What’s the point?

Brian: Well, if we get to talk to them maybe they’ll be good to him.

Angela: Huh?

Brian: Trust me. My parents are psychiatrist

Angela: I don’t think it’s going to work. Jordan is not much of a family type of guy.

Brian: So we’ll make it.

-Outside Jordan’s home. Brian and Angela was outside ringing the doorbell. Suddenly a women opened the door-

Brian: Hi we’re Jordan’s friends.

Angela’s VO: When you meet someone new, you try to see the best in them even though there isn’t any. First impression.

Brian: My I know where Jordan Catalano is, please?

Women: He’s not in.

Angela: We know where he is. Are you his mum?

Women: Yes. Where is he?

Brian: Don’t you care about him at all? What type of parent are you?

Women: Excuse me. You have no right to talk to me like that and by the way he ran away.

Angela: I would too if my dad keeps beating me up!

Brian: Angela-

Angela: You should be jailed or something!

Women: I promise you he won’t be doing that again.

Brian: Why’s that?

Women: We’re just divorced. He lives somewhere else now.

Angela: Does Jordan like, knows about this?(Jordan’s mum shakes his head)

Women: Can you show me where he is, please?

Brian: I-I don’t think that’s a good-

Women: I’m his mother(Angela and Brian just looked at each other)

-Chase’s. Jordan greeted Angela-

Jordan: Look Angela, you don’t have to like, fix things for me. Some ways are meant to be.

Angela: Jordan there’s someone here to see you.

Jordan: Who?(a women entered the room with Brian)

Women: I want to speak to you.

Angela: Me and Brian have something to do.

Brian: We do?(Angela gives him the lets-get-out look)Yes we do. (Angela and Brian exits)

Jordan: There’s nothing to say.

Women: We got a divorce. Stay with me.

Jordan: Why should I?

Women: Because you don’t have anywhere else to stay. God! Why are you so stubborn!

Jordan: Do you think I care?

Women: I care! I admit. I gave in to your dad, I’ve never been there for you but give me a second chance. Please

Jordan: I hated you so much. You let him beat me up. Give me one good reason why I should go back.

Women: ‘Cause I’m your mum! And I care for you. it took your friends to make me realise that(Jordan just looked at her. Then she came closer and hugged him)You have wonderful friends.

Jordan: I know(just then Patty, Graham, and Danielle comes in)

Patty: Jordan?

Graham: Who’s this?

Jordan: I would like you to meet my mum.

Patty: Hi. Please to meet you.

Graham: Hi.

Angela: I invited them for dinner, I mean, if it’s okay?

Patty: It is.

Graham: It’s that my shirt Jordan’s wearing?

-Next Monday in Liberty hallway-

Jordan: Angela?

Angela: Hi.

Jordan: Thanks for straitening things out for me.

Angela: It’s just that I wanted to help.

Jordan: You really understand me.

Angela: (blushing)Really?

Jordan: (kisses her)I love you.

Angela: I love you too.

* * *

And I really do. Now you understand why we mean so much to each other. It’s not because we just want to have an intimate moment together or using each other to have a ‘good time’. Even if we’re like opposites and even though he’s not like other boyfriends that buys flowers for their girlfriends, we’ll always stay together because of love. He may not be the best but he is the best for me.

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This is the last story so far by this author in this series. Check below for other contributions by this author.

Other fanfiction contributions by this author

Reviews for this story

Rating Distribution:
Average: 3.1/5   3.1/5 (56 votes)
  • anonymous author commented on 02 Dec 1999:
    I think this story was bad. I'm not trying to be mean but it totally didn't portray the characters of Angela and Jordan at all. Jordan doesn't cry, and Angel wouldn't be one to butt herself into his business and go to his PARENTS house and YELL at his "mum". Which is another thing, I don't think Angela would be caught dead saying mum. The part where Jordan says hes got something to do and leaves for three days is on track, but everything else makes the show seem like it should've been canceled.
  • anonymous author commented on 05 Dec 1999:
    I guess the story is more less ok,but if it wasn't about angela and Jordan!I mean,do you think Angela would really let Jordan crash at her house?With her folks in the next room?Please!And,I think that he would neve say so easily I love you,even if he really thought that!
  • Natalie commented on 07 Dec 1999:
    In reply to anonymous I don't think this story is really bad I think it's kind of how you want Jordan and Angela to be but they're not but it's not bad it's just different it doesn't have to run parallel with the show does it and anyway at least this girl gave it a go, so lets give her a break.
  • Natalie commented on 29 Jan 2000:
    It's an ok story if your in la-la land...Jordan doesn't cry damnit....Be more realistic
  • Tasha commented on 12 Jan 2004:
    There was too much emphaisis on Angela and Jordan. Good try.
  • anonymous author commented on 24 Jul 2004:
    in reply to tasha its about angelas love life who else would it be about?

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“My dad thinks every person in the world is having more fun than him.”

Angela Chase, Episode 1: "My So-Called Life (Pilot)"