print this page

Fanfiction

Episode No. 21 - Breathing Room

written by Brianne

jump to next story | jump to reviews | go back to fanfiction index

About this story

Published: 26 Aug 2000 | Size: 42 KB (8548 words) | Language: english | Rating: PG-13
Average: 4.6/5   4.6/5 (328 votes)

based on stories and characters created by Winnie Holzman

JORDAN’S HOUSE

Close on Jordan. He’s in his garage working on his car. He’s wearing his gas station attendant shirt and has his baseball cap on.

JORDAN’S DAD: (OS) Jordan! Where the hell are you?

JORDAN: (Narrowing his eyes) I’m out here! I’m – in the garage!

JORDAN’S DAD: Well get in here, will ya?

JORDAN: I’m – (sigh) Fine. (Entering the house)

He walks into the living room. It’s the typical male run household – dishes and glasses strewn about from an evening meal in front of the TV; Jordan’s jacket laying on top of a lay-z-boy recliner; the room is conspicuously free of any decoration including photos. We see Jordan’s dad sitting on the sofa. He looks older than Graham and Patty, thinning hair, some graying around the temples, small pot belly. He looks as though he may have been goodlooking in his youth, but has really let himself go.

JORDAN: (annoyed) Yeah? What did you want?

JORDAN’S DAD: Phone. (He shrugs and grabs the remote)

JORDAN: Tino?

JORDAN’S DAD: Some girl.

JORDAN: Oh- Who? Is it… Angela?

JORDAN’S DAD: How am I supposed to know?

JORDAN: Just- just…nevermind.

He walks into the kitchen and picks up the receiver which is laying on the counter.

JORDAN: (Into the phone) Yeah?

ANGELA: (Through the receiver) Jordan?

JORDAN: (Softer, slight smile) Oh. Hey. (He leans against the wall)

 

ANGELA’S ROOM- phone conversation

We see Angela laying on her stomach across her bed.

ANGELA: This is the first time I’ve ever called you.

JORDAN: (Through the receiver) Yeah.

ANGELA: Was that your dad? Who answered the phone?

 

JORDAN’S KITCHEN- phone conversation

(We see Jordan looking out into the living room at his father in disgust)

JORDAN: Yeah…that was….him.

 

ANGELA’S ROOM- phone conversation

We see Angela rolling on her back; her red hair hangs off her bed.

ANGELA: (pointedly) I’ve never met him. Or your mom.

JORDAN: (Evasively) Yeah, you haven’t.

ANGELA: I mean, I’ve subjected you to the embarrassment that is Patty and Graham…so…

JORDAN: (Slightly defensive) So?

ANGELA: (uncomfortably) Nothing. I just mean—

We see Jordan’s father chugging a bottle of beer. Close on Jordan’s face, he looks annoyed.

JORDAN: (Interrupting) Angela, you just like….wouldn’t want to. Like, meet him—them. Whatever.

ANGELA: (sounding hurt) Okay.

JORDAN: So…whatever. (Trying to change the subject) Why’d you call? Anything like, wrong?

ANGELA: No. I just wanted to see what was up. Like, how you were? And like, ask if you could give me a ride to school tomorrow.

JORDAN: I’m—I’m fine. Yeah. Sure. Of course. Yeah.

ANGELA: Thanks.

JORDAN’S DAD (OS): Dammit kid! How many times do I gotta tell you not to leave your freakin guitar laying out here?

JORDAN: (Rubs his eyes.) So, listen…I’m sorry. I gotta go, ok? I’ll see you tomorrow.

ANGELA: (Hesitant) Yeah. Okay.

JORDAN: Later.

ANGELA: Bye.

We see her hang up the phone looking confused.

Cut to Jordan as he hangs up the phone.

JORDAN VO: It wasn’t fair that I just like, basically hung up on her or whatever. But when she gets like that…all interested…it like sucks up my air or something. But it wasn’t her fault. She has like, an actual family with actual parents or something…they probably talk about stuff. Emotions or whatever… She just wouldn’t….understand.

JORDAN: I was just practicing before, that’s all. I’ll get rid of it. Keep your shirt on.

JORDAN’S DAD: (OS) So, was that one of your girls?

JORDAN: One of my--? No, that was like…the only one. Her name is Angela.

JORDAN’S DAD: (Appearing in the doorway) The only one, huh? (Laughs) Sure, kid, sure. Tall? Leggy? Blonde?

JORDAN: Listen Hank, just like…stay out of my business.

JORDAN’S DAD: No you listen kid – I’m your father and you sure as hell aren’t gonna talk to me like—

JORDAN: (Interrupting) Whatever. (He starts toward the front door)

JORDAN’S DAD: Where are you going? You don’t walk out on me!

JORDAN: I’m going…out. (He picks his guitar up off the floor)

JORDAN’S DAD: Out? Out where?

JORDAN: (angry) Just out, ok? (He grabs his jacket off the chair)

JORDAN’S DAD: Listen kid, I’m doing the best I can, ok?

JORDAN: (Standing in the doorway.) Yeah, you did one hell of a job raising me Hank. (Turns to leave)

JORDAN’S DAD: Oh no you don’t! (Goes to grab Jordan’s arm.)

JORDAN: (Yanking his arm free.) Watch me.

Hank opens his mouth to say something but Jordan’s already halfway down the walkway. He goes into the garage, and gets into his car.

JORDAN VO: Sometimes I wish that Red had wings. I just can’t drive fast enough.

He peels out of the driveway.

 

ANGELA’S ROOM- later that evening

Sharon and Angela are sitting crosslegged on the bed.

SHARON: So he just like, hung up on you?

ANGELA: (Hair tuck) Well not like exactly. He said goodbye. But he just like, rushed me off the phone. Like he had a hundred better things to be doing. (Pause) He was acting so weird.

SHARON: (Raising her eyebrows) No offense or anything Angela, but we’re talking about Jordan Catalano here. He like, always acts weird.

ANGELA: I don’t know… I kinda hinted that I wanted to meet his parents. I think I like, scared him or something. (Sigh) I mean is that…is it a huge deal? I’m just like, you know, curious. Like in some ways I feel like…like I know everything about him. And then sometimes…nothing at all. (Pause) How long was it before you met Kyle’s parents?

SHARON: Like, I don’t know…a week? He invited me over for dinner. It wasn’t like, this huge deal or anything. But anyway… I’m dumping him tomorrow. Like, for good this time.

ANGELA: (Smiling) You’ve been saying that for weeks. (Pause) Jordan is definitely not inviting me over for dinner like, anytime in the foreseeable future. Do you think that maybe he’s like…oh I don’t know…

SHARON: What?

ANGELA: (softly) Embarrassed of me?

SHARON: I thought you like, had gotten passed all that with him.

ANGELA: Yeah, like I did. I thought I did. Didn’t I?

SHARON: (Giving Angela a quick hug) Listen Chase Face, try not to like, stress out ok? You have this tendency to like…overanalyze things? And you just drive yourself crazy. It’s not pretty.

ANGELA: (Groaning) I know, I know. (She sprawls out on her back.) I can’t help myself. It’s like, this sick compulsion to torture myself or something.

SHARON: Anyway, not to like, totally drag you down…but have you spoken to Brian Krakow lately?

ANGELA: (Rolling her eyes) No. I like tried once, but he was totally obnoxious. I couldn’t like, deal with it. So I haven’t tried since. I guess we’ve just been like, avoiding each other.

SHARON: He told me he wasn’t going to tutor Jordan anymore.

ANGELA: (Sitting up) Yeah. That was kinda like, my idea.

SHARON: Really?

ANGELA: It just didn’t seem right for some reason. I don’t know.

SHARON: (Looking at the alarm clock next to Angela’s bed.) Oh my God! I can’t believe it’s 5:30 already. (Apologetic) I don’t mean to leave you mid-crisis but I told my mom I’d be home by 5.

ANGELA: No, that’s ok. Don’t worry about it.

SHARON: I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? And like… I mean it this time. Kyle and I are total and complete history.

ANGELA: (smiling) Sure.

Sharon leaves the room. Angela sits silently for a moment and the rolls her eyes.

ANGELA: (Groaning) Boys! (She collapses exhaustedly on her bed.)

 

THE LOFT

Jordan is sitting alone in the loft, strumming chords on his guitar absentmindedly. He closes his eyes- as if it hurts to look at things.

JORDAN: (Singing softly, almost under his breath) I was going nowhere, going nowhere fast. Drowning in my memories….living in the past. Everything looked black ‘til I found her…

Jordan stops singing and puts his guitar down. He then leans forward and holds his head in his hands, tired.

JORDAN VO: The thing is? Like sometimes, you can be so used to like, keeping stuff to yourself…that you forget how like…good? It can be. To like…not have to do that. To actually have someone who like….cares…or something. Because that’s like…never happened to me before.

 

CHASE KITCHEN- the next morning

Angela is standing in the doorway, her backpack on. Patty and Graham are bustling around the kitchen, making coffee, etc.

ANGELA: I really don’t know where he could be.

PATTY: Maybe he’s just running late.

ANGELA: (Upset) I’ve like, missed the bus already. I don’t understand. He said he’d give me a ride.

GRAHAM: (Helpfully) I could give you a ride.

ANGELA: I’m just gonna wait….like…5 more minutes? He should definitely be here.

PATTY: Angela, sweetheart, why don’t you let your father give you a ride, ok? I don’t want you to be late. When Jordan gets here I’ll let him know you left already.

GRAHAM: It’s not a problem. It’s on the way to the restaurant.

ANGELA: (Hesitantly) Ok…I mean, I guess.

ANGELA VO: There’s something so….degrading about having your parent drop you off at school. Like, it exposes you or something.

 

GRAHAM’S CAR

GRAHAM: So…you and Jordan are…going together?

ANGELA: (Rolling her eyes) Going together?

GRAHAM: Oh, I’m sorry. Is that…unhip?

ANGELA: (Groaning) God, dad…it’s not like…defined. We’re just…I’m sorry. I can’t like…have this conversation with my father.

GRAHAM: (Slightly hurt but trying not to show it.) Oh, of course not.

ANGELA: You know, it’s just like—whatever happens…happens.

GRAHAM: Ah, I see. (Pause) Just don’t let too much happen.

ANGELA: (Embarrassed) Dad!

GRAHAM: Just not yet, anyway.

ANGELA: (Wincing) Can we like…stop talking. Please. Just…stop.

GRAHAM: Sweetheart, I’m just looking out for you, that’s all. Jordan just seems more…

ANGELA: Dad, stop.

GRAHAM: …mature.

ANGELA: (Pleadingly) Please, I’m begging you.

GRAHAM: Okay, okay.

 

HALLWAY

Sharon and Kyle are at her locker. Sharon grabs a book and slowly turns to face him. She takes a deep breath.

SHARON: Kyle, I like, need to tell you something.

KLYE: If it’s about Friday night, don’t worry about it. I already made a reservation at that Italian restaurant you like so much. And then we could (lowers his voice) rent that Brad Pitt movie you love so much and--

SHARON: (Interrupting) Kyle…I can’t like…we can’t do this anymore.

KYLE: (confused) Do what?

SHARON: (Emphatically) Go one with this charade.

KYLE: Charade?

SHARON: Listen Kyle, you’re like a really nice guy …and totally cute…but this just isn’t working for me.

KYLE: You’re kidding, right? We belong together Sharon.

SHARON: And you deserve someone who’s gonna feel the same way—

KYLE: (Interrupting) And you don’t? I thought—I thought we were getting serious, Sharon. I told you I loved you. I meant that.

SHARON: (Quietly) I’m sorry. But it’s over.

KYLE: (Flabbergasted) But I told you that I love you! You don’t—you don’t love me?

SHARON: (Deep breath) No, Kyle.

KYLE: I can’t believe you! I can’t believe…this!

 

 

Scene cuts to:

Rayanne and Rickie are at Rickie’s locker.

RICKIE: So like, I’m moving to Pride House on Friday.

RAYANNE: Great.

RICKIE: (Shrugging) I guess.

RAYANNE: (Not picking up on his reluctance) Vasquez, have you seen Angellica this fine morning?

RICKIE: You’re quite chipper.

RAYANNE: Why shouldn’t I be? Amber is finally Dusty-free, I have the lead in the school play and Angela has forgiven me! (Beaming) All is right with the world! (She spins in a little circle and does a curtsey) So? Have you?

RICKIE: Have I what?

RAYANNE: (Impatiently) Seen Angela? Pay attention! (She taps him on the forehead.)

RICKIE: Oh…No I haven’t.

Brian starts down the hall.

RAYANNE: (Yelling, and waving her hand in his face) Hey Krakow! Have you seen Angela?

BRIAN: (Not stopping as he passes her) Just like, leave me alone.

RAYANNE: (To Rickie) Someone must have shrunk his tightie whities! (Yelling after Brian) Thanks a bunch Krakow!

RICKIE: Rayanne, you should like…ease up on Brian sometimes. You can be pretty harsh.

RAYANNE: (Defensively) Harsh? I asked him a simple question. He was the one who got all snippy over it.

RICKIE: Just like… in general. He’s got like, feelings.

RAYANNE: (Hands on hips) Did I say he didn’t?

RICKIE: (Sighing) No….just like, forget it.

RAYANNE: Rickie? What’s like, going on here? (Narrowing her eyes) I feel like you’re talking in code or something.

RICKIE: It’s just that…(he closes his locker and leans against it) Things are like, a lot more complicated than you realize.

RAYANNE: (Rolling her eyes) And the green duck quacks at midnight. (Directly) Vasquez – what are you talking about?

RICKIE: It’s just that… Brian and Angela are like, in the middle of this, like… thing.

RAYANNE: Thing? (Skeptically) Angela and….Brian? What thing?

RICKIE: Where Brian like….loves her or something.

RAYANNE: (Surprised, loudly) Brian loves Angela? Brian Krakow?

RICKIE: Shhh! Rayanne! Could you not like, announce it? I don’t think they heard you in the locker room.

RAYANNE: (Unable to hide a laugh) Does she know?

RICKIE: Well that’s the thing. She kinda does. Brian like…wrote her this letter. A love letter. But not from him.

RAYANNE: What?

RICKIE: He wrote it for Jordan. To help him like, apologize for…well, it’s obvious.

RAYANNE: (Getting a kick out of this information.) He wrote it for Jordan? This is so messed up. (Dramatically) Our fragile little worlds are crumbling. The dynamic has totally shifted! The sky is falling!

RICKIE: (Concerned) But Rayanne? Just like, don’t say anything, ok? To Brian? Like, don’t let him know…that you know? Ok? Because..he wouldn’t like…appreciate the fact I told you.

RAYANNE: (Southern accent) My purty little lips are sealed, baby doll. Don’t worry your little head about it. (Normal voice) Besides, I’m sure Angela would tell me herself but we’ve only like…just gotten back on speaking terms. Well, I’m gonna get going. I wanted to talk to Tino about getting a ride after school. (She starts to walk away.)

RICKIE: (Pleadingly) Rayanne…I mean it.

He turns and walks down the hall in the other direction.

Angela approaches

RICKIE: Oh, hey.

ANGELA: Hi. (Pause) You haven’t like, seen Jordan around, have you?

RICKIE: I must be like, the human directory today.

ANGELA: Huh?

RICKIE: Rayanne just asked me if I had seen you like, thirty seconds ago.

ANGELA: Oh…yeah. I just got here. I haven’t even been to my locker yet. It’s just that….Jordan was supposed to come get me this morning and he like, didn’t. And I didn’t see is car in the parking lot. I’m kinda like…worried.

RICKIE: I’m sure he’s fine.

ANGELA: (Unconvinced) Yeah, probably.

RICKIE: Well, okay. If I see him, I’ll like…tell him you were looking for him, ok?

ANGELA: Okay, yeah. (Pause) No, wait. Don’t.

RICKIE: (confused) Don’t?

ANGELA: Don’t tell him I was looking for him. I don’t want him to feel like… he has to like, answer to me or whatever. Like, I’m his mother or something. I’ll just like, talk to him later. I’m sure he has a good reason.

RICKIE: (Uncertain) Yeah, probably. (Beat) So did you know I’m moving to Pride House on Friday?

ANGELA: (Absentmindedly) Yeah. That’s great. (Snapping out of it) Okay, so anyway…I’ll see you later, ok?

RICKIE: (small fake smile) Yeah, sure. Bye.

The bell rings.

 

HALLWAY

Angela is in a deserted hallway shoving some books into her locker. She is running late.

Slamming her locker closed, she turns to run. Brian is coming out of the bathroom and the two collide. Brian’s hallpass falls to the floor

ANGELA: (In a low voice) Oh. Um, sorry.

BRIAN: I knew I was invisible. Just like, not that invisible.

ANGELA: (Sigh) Krakow, God. I said I was sorry.

BRIAN: So, like, did you …did you oversleep? Because you weren’t on the bus. Not that I was like, looking for you or anything. Because I wasn’t. You know, looking- looking for you. It’s just that I like, realized you weren’t at the bus stop. Since…you know. We’re at the same bus stop. And have been basically since like…kindergarten.

ANGELA: (Defensive) Do I need to explain myself to you?

BRIAN: I didn’t say that you did. It was just a simple question, Chase! You could at least be like, civil, or whatever.

ANGELA: Civil? (Annoyed) Brian, I tried to talk to you. Remember? You’re the one who wasn’t civil!

BRIAN: Whatever Chase. You just wanted to like, ease your guilty conscience.

ANGELA: (Angry) What? What could I possibly be guilty of? Really, tell me because I would absolutely love to hear it. (She stares at him, expectantly)

BRIAN: (At a loss) Just like, forget it. I don’t want to fight with you, ok?

ANGELA: (Upset) I like, never asked you to write that letter Brian! You did that on your own, ok? I don’t like, owe you something.

BRIAN: But you’re glad I did, right? Because it got you with Catalano, right? That should like, count for something.

ANGELA: (Her voice rising) Jordan and I and our relationship have like, nothing to do with you, ok Brian? You aren’t even his tutor anymore! So just stay out of my life.

BRIAN: (Sarcastic) Am I like…allowed to breathe your air? Or should I ask you first?

ANGELA: (Angrily) I’m late for class.

She turns and runs down the hall in the opposite direction.

BRIAN: (Calling after her.) Chase! We have English now. It’s in the other direction!

She doesn’t hear him. He stands in the hall for a moment, and bends down to pick up the hallpass and then slowly turns and walks in the other direction.

 

GIRL’S BATHROOM

Angela is standing in front of a mirror, splashing water onto her face. She looks at her watch. It reads 8:15. She closes her eyes for a moment and rubs her temples. She looks at her watch again. Time has passed… It’s 8:27 She takes a deep breath, looks herself in the eye in the mirror and turns to go to class.

 

KATIMSKI’S CLASS

Brian has returned from the bathroom and is sitting in the front row. Katimski is handing back some papers. Angela appears in the doorway.

KATIMSKI: Angela!

ANGELA: (apologetic, to Katimski) I’m sorry I’m late. I like… missed the bus.

KATIMSKI: Not a problem. (Pause) Just take your seat.

Brian looks up at Angela as she passes by his desk. She ignores him and sits several rows back. Sharon looks over at her and mouths "I did it!" . Angela smiles weakly

KATIMSKI: In general, the grades on this last Scarlet Letter quiz were rather (pause) disappointing. You need to keep up with the (pause) reading. These questions were simple people! (Reading from a sheet in his hand.) What is Hester’s daughter’s name? Gee, whiz! You should know this! (pause) Does anyone know this?

BRIAN: Pearl. I mean, that’s her daughter’s name.

Jordan appears in the doorway. He’s still wearing his gas station attendant’s shirt.

KATIMSKI: Mr. Catalano. So glad you could (pause) join us. Gee whiz, a lot of johnny come lately’s today!

JORDAN: Huh?

KATIMSKI: Angela (pause) was late today as well.

JORDAN VO: The thing I hate? Is like, when people use these expressions that like, make no sense. And you’re supposed to understand them or something. Like, to sound smarter. Like…when people say ‘I have a bone to pick with you’ and like, it really means ‘You pissed me off’ Why can’t people just like…say that? Just like….say what you mean.

JORDAN: Oh.

KATIMSKI: You did rather well on the most recent quiz Jordan. (pause) Gee whiz, 82.

The bell rings. The class rises from their seats and shuffles out. Angela approaches Jordan who is still standing in the front of the class. Brian passes by and gives Angela a longing look, which she doesn’t notice.

JORDAN: Hey.

ANGELA: Hi.

JORDAN: So, um, I’m sorry for like…not coming this morning.

ANGELA: No. It’s okay…just like…why?

JORDAN: I wasn’t sure if I was like, gonna come. To school. Because…I like, overslept or whatever. You know, otherwise I would have…called. (pause) I hate Monday.

ANGELA: Oh. Don’t worry about it. My dad gave me a ride.

JORDAN: Oh. Good.(pause) So like, I don’t really want to be here right now.

ANGELA: (Smiling) Like I do?

JORDAN: (Mischievous) So maybe we could like…go somewhere. You know, since neither one of actually wants to like… be here.

JORDAN VO: I couldn’t like, help it. Knowing that she was into me and that we could…y’know…mess around whenever… That part of my brain just like, takes over or something.

ANGELA: (Incredulously) It’s school…we can just like…leave?

JORDAN: (Stepping closer) Yeah.

ANGELA: (laughing) Just walk right out? Just like that?

JORDAN: (Inching closer.) Yeah.

ANGELA: I don’t know… (weakening) I mean, I like…want to. Like, really want to…

JORDAN: (Softly) Yeah?

ANGELA: (relenting) God! You are such a bad influence on me! (Smiles broadly)

JORDAN: (Smiling back) Okay, well let’s get outta here. (He grabs her hand)

 

HALLWAY-same time

Brian is walking down the hallway and Rayanne sneaks up behind him.

RAYANNE: Hey Krakow, you stud you!

BRIAN: (sigh, turning around) Rayanne, I’m like…not in the mood for you today, ok?

RAYANNE: (purrs) Mmm. Well maybe I could…get you in the mood, huh Krakow? (She runs her hand down his chest.)

BRIAN: You like, need help. Like, majorly.

RAYANNE: (Seductively) Maybe you could help me. (Licks her lips)

BRIAN: (Flustered) Just like…what do you…what’s your problem?

RAYANNE: (Carefree) No problems! Maybe you haven’t like, heard the good news.

BRIAN: What news?

RAYANNE: Me and Angela. She forgave me.

BRIAN: (Feigning disinterest) Stranger things have happened.

RAYANNE: (Shrewdly) Yeah, so I’ve heard. Cyreno DeBergerac.

BRIAN: (alarmed) What? What do you mean?

RAYANNE: You know what I mean. (smile, seductively) How about aiming some of that hot Krakow loving in my direction? (Pouts) I’m feeling neglected. You know, you’ve been so distant ever since that time we slept together…don’t I turn you on anymore?

BRIAN: (Flustered) No…I mean, yeah. I mean…no. I mean…this like, has like…absolutely nothing to do with you. Ok? So just like, don’t get involved, ok? Because you like…don’t even know what you’re talking about.

He walks away quickly

RAYANNE: (Calling after him) I’m just teasing Krakow! Don’t get your panties in a knot!

RANDOM KID: Krakow wears panties?

Jordan and Angela are walking down the hallway. Rayanne notices Angela.

RAYANNE: (Brightly) Angelika! (Noticing Jordan is there, subdued) Catalano.

JORDAN: (Uncomfortably) Graf. (He looks away)

JORDAN VO: I can’t even like, look ….at Rayanne Graf …without completely hating myself.

ANGELA: (Clears her throat, small very uncomfortable smile) Hi, Rayanne.

RAYANNE: I was, uh, looking for you… this- this morning.

JORDAN VO: And I guess I don’t have the right to totally hate her…but the thing is… I do. You know, hate Rayanne Graf.

Jordan looks at Angela impatiently.

ANGELA: (Glancing at Jordan and then looking back to Rayanne.) Yeah, Rickie told me. Anything like, important?

RAYANNE: (Uncomfortable with Jordan there) No…I just like, wanted to say hi. So, hi.

ANGELA: (Small smile) Hi. (Pause) Well, I like…gotta go.

RAYANNE: Oh! Yeah, sure. I’ll like…see you later.

She hurries off

JORDAN’S CAR.

Jordan is driving.

JORDAN: (Awkwardly) So um…you and…(clears throat) are like—friends or whatever?

ANGELA: Yeah. (Slowly, choosing her words) We…she- she…we’re just like…getting past- past…whatever. Why?

JORDAN: (Shrugs) No reason. I just like…didn’t know.

ANGELA: Oh. (Pause) So…where are we going?

JORDAN: Wherever. Where do you wanna go?

ANGELA: There’s this little park…like, by my house. I thought maybe we could like…

JORDAN: You wanna go there?

ANGELA: Yeah. I mean, if you want to. It’s like…private.

JORDAN: Okay.

 

HALLWAY

Rickie is walking down the hallway, Brian is rushing to catch up with him.

BRIAN: Rickie!

RICKIE: Oh, hi.

BRIAN: Hey. (Slightly out of breath) I like, have to ask…did you like, tell Rayanne Graf about me and…you know…Angela? Like, about the letter or something?

RICKIE: (Sighs) What did she say to you?

BRIAN: Like, nothing specifically. She just like, hinted that she knew something. And like, gave me a hard time. Like, as per usual.

RICKIE: (Defeatedly) Brian, listen, I’m sorry.

BRIAN: So like, you did?

RICKIE: Yeah. She just has this way of like…extracting the truth out of people or something.

BRIAN: (Upset) Rickie, that was like…private information. There was like, no reason that Rayanne Graf of all people has to know how I feel about Angela Chase!

RICKIE: Well have you thought of maybe like, telling Angela Chase how you feel about Angela Chase?

BRIAN: She like, knows. (Laughs) Besides, like it would really make a difference. Like, she would dump Catalano for me. (Sarcastic) Super cool Jordan Catalano with his super cool car, and his super cool hair and his super--

RICKIE: (Interrupting) Brian! (Serious) It’s just like…unhealthy. It’s like eating you up or something. If you don’t at least get it off your chest you’re gonna be sick or whatever. Because like…I know what it’s like to carry this like…secret or something…around with you. It like…wears you out. You know? And if you don’t like…admit it? You’ll just carry it for the rest of your life. And it like, becomes part of you and it just suffocates you and takes up all your breathing room.

BRIAN: (Confused) Like…huh? What are you talking about?

RICKIE: Just…I’m sorry I told Rayanne, ok? I had like, no right to do that.

BRIAN: Okay. That’s just like… don’t tell anyone else. (Beat) So…um…when are you moving to that Pride House thing? That’s like…soon…right?

RICKIE: You know that you’re like…the first person to like, show an interest all day? No one else like even…asked. But yeah. On Friday.

BRIAN: Well, if there’s anything I can do. To like…help…you know, move you in or whatever. Just like, let me know.

RICKIE: I just might take you up on that! (Pause) Anyway, I have to get to class. So like, I’ll talk to you later?

BRIAN: Sure. Later.

Outside view of Jordan’s car as it pulls up to the park. It’s small, with a swingset and a see-saw and not much else. Jordan and Angela get out of the car and walk over to the swingset and sit down in the swings.

ANGELA: When I was little…my dad would bring me and Danielle here. (Shyly) He used to call it…Princess Park…we were the princesses. (She points to a tree) That was our castle.

JORDAN: That’s nice.

ANGELA: Yeah, it was. (Pause) So…um, do you have any special place or something? (Trying to be nonchalant but failing) You know that maybe your parents brought you to…like when you were little?

JORDAN VO: The thing about Angela is that she has this need, to like…talk. About everything. If you took away her words it’s like…she would die or something. It’s annoying but…endearing.

JORDAN: (Shrugs) No where.

ANGELA: Oh. (She bites her lip, unsure what to say.) What are they like? I mean…your parents. You don’t like…mention them ever.

JORDAN VO: For a reason.

JORDAN: (Tersely) They’re just like…you know…whatever. Parents.

ANGELA: (A bit hurt) Oh.

JORDAN: (Sighing) Listen, don’t like…get upset.

ANGELA: Why would I be upset?

JORDAN: I don’t know.

ANGELA: Ok, then. (Pause) Well no…it’s not okay.

JORDAN: Huh?

ANGELA: Jordan…what- what are we, exactly?

JORDAN: What?

ANGELA: (Embarrassed) Are you like—I mean, am I your…?

JORDAN: (Shrugs) Let’s not label it.

ANGEL: Label it?

JORDAN: When you put a label on it? It’s like…I dunno…not yours anymore. There’s all these expectations… like how to act? Where to be? And then it just like…controls you.

ANGELA: It’s just that (pause) I don’t know… how to like be around you. (Rushing on before she can stop herself) Like, how you expect me to act? Or like, want me to be? Like how sometimes I…I don’t know…like, run into this wall? With you. (She looks down) You just like…I don’t know? Shut down? Or something.

JORDAN: I’m- I mean…I don’t like…do that.

ANGELA: (Quietly) You’re doing now.

JORDAN: (Defensively) So then…go. No one’s…stopping you.

JORDAN VO: Stay.

ANGELA: (In disbelief) God! Can’t you see?

JORDAN: What?

ANGELA: That I don’t want to! Go, I mean. I don’t want to. If we’re gonna be…whatever it is we’re gonna be…you can’t just…forget it.

JORDAN: (Looks like he’s thinking, trying to decide whether to speak or not.) I haven’t like, seen my mom in like…well since I was eight. This one time? She and my old man like…had a fight. (Pause, he looks pensive) And she…you know.

ANGELA: Oh, Jordan…I didn’t--

JORDAN: (Shrugs) Yeah.

ANGELA: (Surprised) Jordan, that’s terrible! I’m so…sorry.

JORDAN: (Gruffly) Don’t be. It’s like…not a big deal.

ANGELA VO: That little piece of information just explained so much. About why it was so hard to get close to Jordan Catalano.

JORDAN: I lied.

ANGELA: You lied? What about?

JORDAN: This morning? I like didn’t oversleep. Well I did. But that’s not like, the whole truth.

ANGELA: (confused) Then why--?

JORDAN: (Interrupting) I slept in the loft.

ANGELA: Why?

JORDAN: Because. My dad. He just…pisses me—I have a bone to pick with him. And sometimes it’s just like, easier to…you know…

ANGELA: Not to deal with it?

JORDAN: Exactly. He like… suffocates me.

ANGELA: So like, I guess you don’t like see your--

JORDAN: (Interrupting) Let’s not talk anymore. Okay? (Softer) I just don’t like…to talk all the time.

ANGELA: (Reassuring) No. That’s okay. I didn’t want to like…pressure you to talk about it or anything. But like…you should know that if you want to- I mean if you feel like it- you can always talk…to me. If you want to.

JORDAN: (Pulling her swing closer to his) Talking is…overrated. Besides…there’s like…better things we can do…with our mouths…than talking.

ANGELA: (Smiling) Oh really?

JORDAN: Yes, really.

He leans in and kisses her. After a moment she breaks away smiling.

ANGELA: (Flirtatiously) I don’t know if I ever mentioned it before…

JORDAN: What?

ANGELA: …but you’re a really good kisser.

JORDAN: (Smiles) Hey. I have a question…this has been like…bugging me…

ANGELA: (Concerned) What?

JORDAN: If your mom has blonde hair, right? And your dad has brown? Where did this red come from?

ANGELA: (Bursting out laughing) A bottle!

JORDAN: (Small smile) Really? I didn’t—

ANGELA: (Still laughing) You didn’t know? I can’t believe you didn’t know!

JORDAN: So what are you? Like…a blonde or something?

ANGELA: Yeah.

JORDAN: (Mock seriousness) I’m sorry, I can’t be with you. Our whole relationship is like, based on a lie.

ANGELA: Oh, shut up!

JORDAN: I’m serious.

ANGELA: Oh yeah? (She playfully punches him)

JORDAN: Nah.

 

GIRL’S BATHROOM

Girls are crowded around the mirror. Rayanne shoves between two of them and ends up next to Sharon. Sharon is applying lipstick.

RAYANNE: So word on the street has it that you finally dumped that boytoy of yours.

SHARON: (Shocked) You know, like…already? I only did it this morning!

RAYANNE: (Smirking) I’m way in the know. You know that guy? With the sort of spiky hair? It’s not really blonde and it’s not really brown? And the mole on his cheek? He used to go out with that girl with the really bad perm—I think her name is Sheila something with a D? Matt? Mitch? Whatever…you know the one…Well he, told me. Sounds like Vinovich is pretty devastated.

SHARON: I feel bad. Like, I do. Really. But you can’t just like force yourself to have feelings for someone so they’ll feel better.

RAYANNE: There’s a lot of that one way lovin’ going around nowadays, ain’t there? (To Random Girl) Could you like, give me an iota of breathing space?

Random Girl shoots Rayanne an annoyed look.

RANDOM GIRL: (Obnoxiously) I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you owned this bathroom.

RAYANNE: (Blasé) Just don’t let it happen again.

SHARON: What do you mean? One way loving? Going around?

RAYANNE: You and Vinovich. That friend of yours? Dellica or whatever? And Rickie. Angela and Krakow—

SHARON: (Interrupting) That’s like, a very delicate situation.

RAYANNE: Krakow just needs to face reality.

SHARON: Which is?

RAYANNE: (Obviously) That he needs to get over it. Because nothing is gonna happen between him and Angela. She’s like, completely and totally on Planet Jordan right now anyway.

SHARON: I guess you’re right.

RAYANNE: Of course, I’m right. What self respecting girl would want Krakow anyway? Besides like…your friend ‘The Farmer and the Della’ or whatever. (Pause) And now Rickie. Wow…that girl really can pick them, huh?

SHARON: (Defensively) Brian’s not like…all bad.

RAYANNE: And the titanic just hit an ice cube.

SHARON: I have this feeling he just might surprise us one of these days. Like, come into his own or something.

RAYANNE: Definitely "or something."

SHARON: Anyway, have you seen Angela? She was in Katimski’s but then she like…disappeared or something.

RAYANNE: As I said, Planet Jordan. Population…one.

SHARON: (concerned) Do you think…he’s like… gonna treat her right this time. He’s goodlooking…like duh…but it’s like she’s blinded by it? Or something. (pause) I still haven’t forgiven him for the totally obnoxious way he acted at Buffalo Tom. She was so hurt.

RAYANNE: (Pensive) It’s hard to say. But if he doesn’t…well he’ll just have us to deal with now, won’t he? (Pause) Um, well maybe he shouldn’t really…deal…with me.

SHARON: You know, we make a pretty good team.

RAYANNE: (rolling her eyes) Don’t get all Kodak moment on me Cherski, ok? (She smiles) It makes me want to barf.

SHARON: (Smiling) Okay, okay.

Rickie enters.

RAYANNE: Enrique!

RICKIE: Hey. Hey Sharon.

SHARON: Hi. I gotta go. Some of us actually go to class, you know.

RAYANNE: Yeah, you’re weird like that.

SHARON: Very funny.

Sharon exits

RICKIE: Rayanne…didn’t I like, specifically tell you not to say anything to Brian? About him and Angela?

RAYANNE: Don’t worry. I like, didn’t do him any harm. No need to get worked up.

RICKIE: (Shaking his head) I don’t believe you.

RAYANNE: (Smiling) I am pretty unbelievable, huh?

RICKIE: Don’t you have any- feelings? Emotions?

RAYANNE: What do you—

RICKIE: (Interrupting) How can you be so heartless?

RAYANNE: (Surprised) You’re calling me heartless?

RICKIE: And completely self absorbed!

RAYANNE: Rickie? Where is this coming from?

RICKIE: Do you care about me at all, Rayanne?

RAYANNE: What does this have to do with you? I thought we were talking about Krakow.

RICKIE: (Angrily) Answer the question.

RAYANNE: (Taken aback) Of course I care about you. God. You’re like my best friend.

RICKIE: Then why is it always about you?

RAYANNE: (Loudly) What? What is?

RICKIE: (Almost yelling) Do you know how major this move on Friday is for me? Do you have any idea how stressed out and nervous I am? I mean…God. Did you ever stop thinking about yourself for one measly minute to ever begin to consider how life altering this is for me?

RAYANNE: Rickie, I—

RICKIE: No! You didn’t! You couldn’t care less!

RAYANNE: Shut up! That isn’t true. (Pause) I’m sorry.

RICKIE: (Deep breath) Ok.

RAYANNE: No, it isn’t ok… I should be…you know…

RICKIE: (regretful) I shouldn’t have blow up like that. I don’t know what got into—

RAYANNE: No. You’re right. I’m a terrible friend. Angela found out. Now you did too.

RICKIE: But Angela forgave you.

RAYANNE: Yeah? Still doesn’t change the fact that I’m a terrible person. Someone should really let Sharon know before I drag her down too… (Pause) Now, if you’ll excuse me—

She starts to leave

RICKIE: Rayanne? Where are you going?

RAYANNE: To class. There’s a first for everything.

She leaves.

 

THE PARK

Arial view of Jordan and Angela on the swings. She’s twirling around and spinning. He’s laughing. Camera slowly comes closer and closer until it rests only on Jordan’s face. He’s smiling.

 

JORDAN’S HOUSE- later that evening

Jordan comes in through the front door. Hank is sitting in the living room.

HANK: So you decided to come home after all?

JORDAN: Apparently.

HANK: You know… I was worried.

JORDAN: (Shrugging his jacket off his shoulders) I’m sure.

HANK: (Standing up) I just…I don’t know what to do with you. You don’t make it easy for me, kid.

JORDAN: (Sarcastically) Sorry. God forbid you should like… be a parent or something.

HANK: (Taking a few steps toward Jordan, who is still in the doorway) What’s that supposed to mean?

JORDAN: (Voice rising) What’s it mean? I’m the dumb one, remember? Why don’t you figure it out?

HANK: I never said you were--

JORDAN: (Taking a step forward, bitterly in Hank’s face.) Don’t you…God, don’t you even try that! You did. ‘Why are you such a disappointment?’ ‘Why can’t you make something of yourself?’ ‘Got left back again, huh, kid? Way to go dumbass!’ (pause) I guess I should just be grateful, huh? That you don’t hit me anymore? Is that why mom left, Hank? Huh? Did you hit her too?

HANK: We are not talking about your mother! She left, ok? I didn’t! I’m still here! (Defensively) I’m concerned about you! Okay? You…you’re wasting your life—I don’t want to see that--

JORDAN: It’s mine, ok? It’s my life. One more year. One more year…and then…I’m 18. And I’m out of here. (He turns and walks up the stairs leaving Hank speechless below.)

 

JORDAN’S ROOM

Jordan is lying flat on his back on his bed. Close up his face.

JORDAN VO: My mother used to have this thing she always said to me before I went to sleep. "Tomorrow is a question. Go to sleep so you can get the answers." (pause) The thing I got outta that…like about life is… you just never know when something is actually gonna like…happen. Like, something meaningful. What I mean is- when you wake up in the morning you really have like, no idea how that day is gonna end. You might think you know. But you don’t. Something terrible might happen. Or like….something completely amazing. Like maybe you get like…a reason? To actually get out of bed. Like, Angela or something. And that’s how I feel. But like…not just about a day. About my life. I guess that made absolutely no sense. But I’m okay with that.

He closes his eyes.

THE END

Next story

This is the last story so far by this author in this series. Check below for other contributions by this author.
expand

Other fanfiction contributions by this author

Reviews for this story

Rating Distribution:
2%1%4%24%70%
12345
Average: 4.6/5   4.6/5 (328 votes)
  • Mike commented on 27 Sep 2000:
    The plot and emotions of the characters are realistic and interesting. I like where you are going with your stories. I would be a little careful about selecting the characters words (e.g. Jordan saying 'endearing') I also think you use 'like' excessively.

    I hope you continue. Writers like yourself keep MSCL alive for all of us fans!!
  • vic commented on 27 Dec 2000:
    most impressed with the likeness to the actual programme, in how the characters talk, and the way they actually come across. yes, the word 'like' was used excessively, but then it was in the series too - so two thumbs up from me.
  • Samantha Goodhew commented on 20 Feb 2001:
    This is the first time I've read Briannes stories, so this praise about both of them, I like where your'e going with all the relationships and you really portray the characters well. I very much hope that you continue writing this series. As I enjoyed reading it very much, the only one criticism I have is the same as some one else's remark about using the word Like to excessively. Other than that I'm hooked, it's great writing.
  • Mari commented on 25 May 2001:
    I really like Brianne´s stories. It´s almost like getting finally more episodes!!! Every time I read her stories, I can clearly see everything in my head, all the emotions and voice tunes ect, I can see and hear them in my head so clearly while I´m reading. I just wanna say that it would be FABULOUS if you, Brianne, would write us more these great stories!
    Mari from Finland.
  • Amber commented on 26 May 2001:
    I loved it. I hope you will write the next story soon!!!!
  • V commented on 06 Jun 2001:
    this one is really good, I like the narrative being done by jordan, different. you seem to capture the essence of MSCL very closely. Down to the 'like' in the middle of almost every sentence. Bravo.
  • J.C. commented on 11 Aug 2001:
    Great story. I really enjoyed reading the parts with Jordan and Angela and stuff. The fiction really filled in the gaps that the end of the show left. Some questions were answered. It was emotional and captivating. It was interesting hwo Jordan's homelife was portrayed, I mean, it's not all melodramatic like other people have written it to be, so that's really cool. Good work! Keep it up!
  • Elizabeth Wrigley-Field commented on 14 Aug 2001:
    I really like the Angela and Jordan exchange about her hair. It's nice to see them joking around in a realistic way, and it makes a nice contrast to what Jordan's dad said about Angela being blond. Some quibbles: I don't know if Jordan would know the word "endearing." It's jarring to have an Angela voice over in a Jordan-voiceover episode. I can't believe Rickie would tell Rayanne about Brian and the letter! So much for him being such a great friend. In the show, they never seemed to be doing the same book for more than one English class (although if you don't have much of a time break between these episodes, I can see how you'd need to!). That's because the literature, IMHO, is always symbolic of the episode's theme or message in some way. And while I think The Scarlet Letter did that in Brianne's last episode, at least sort of, I don't think it does here. I really like the development of Jordan's character.
  • Elizabeth Wrigley-Field commented on 14 Aug 2001:
    Something I forgot to add: why all the pressure on Brian to come clean to Angela? I mean, I know he didn't tell her explicitly, but he did, like, *tell* her.
  • Brianne commented on 18 Aug 2001:
    Rickie told Rayanne about the letter because her picking on Brian hits a sore spot with him. I'll try to explain how I see it when I was writing it...
    He identifies with Brian, to a degree, being an outsider and wanting desperately to fit in, and his sensitive nature causes him to automatically leap to Brian's defense as in "Rayanne, you should like...ease up on Brian sometimes. You can be pretty harsh." When Rayanne presses him for a further reason regarding why she should leave Brian alone, Rickie seems to think he's qualifying his earlier response by telling Rayanne that Brian is going through some issues. Rayanne, as is her nature, further presses, sensing gossip and Rickie spills. However, he immediately realizes his mistake and tries to make it right by making Rayanne promise to keep her mouth shut. Of course, we know how well Rayanne keeps her promises.

    Rickie later pressures Brian to tell Angela how he feels because he's projecting his own issues onto Brian. Rickie has lived in a secrecy of sorts for his entire life. Being gay and not being able to freely live his life that way. He has crushes on boys and he can never admit it to them (Corey, and it's been hinted at...Jordan) so when he's talking about getting things out in the open... he isn't really talking about Brian. He's talking about himself.\\

    I think people tend to underestimate Jordan's vocabulary based on the fact he didn't know what 'ironic' meant. However, I think that Jordan's verbal skills were probably better than he let on, due to the fact he was a lyricist and could write his own songs. Who knows?

    I agree about it being out of place to have an Angela VO in a Jordan narrarated episode. That was a mistake that I didn't catch.

    Anyway, thanks for reading them. :-)

    Brianne
  • Elizabeth Wrigley-Field commented on 19 Aug 2001:
    Brianne, Thank you for reading my comments, and responding. That Rickie would tell Rayanne about the letter is much more plausible the way you describe it than I originally saw it as being. It's possible that this is a weakness of scripts, and it would need to come across in the delivery; or maybe I just read it in an unnatural way. I do think Rickie would feel *really* guilty about telling. I don't think Rayanne is necessarily untrustworthy; I mean, we have obvious examples of when she broke someone's trust, but I mean, I wouldn't count on her breaking her promises. (This is a response to your response, not to the script.) Even in your episode, unless I'm misreading it (I just scrolled back up again to quickly check so I may have missed something), she doesn't tell Sharon about the letter--she refers to Brian liking Angela, which Sharon indicates she already knew, and which in some ways mirrors the shared concern the two show for Angela in "Self Esteem." It may also be a result of Rayanne's anxiety/lack of confidence about her new relationship with Sharon. .......... About Rickie and Brian, I understand how your analysis would make Rickie press for honesty and openness, without necessarily considering the details of a situation. However, I still don't think it applies here. Brian really did tell Angela, even if he didn't mean to--"No, I meant every word"--and even if he tried to cover for it at the time--"I mean, the person who wrote it meant it...probably" or whatever he says--I think over the course of that weekend, in which he'd replay that conversation over and over in his head, and however much time has elapsed since then and this episode, he would realize he really had already told her. Even though he says here "She knows," the conversation plays out as though Brian is counting on Angela's having guessed--not as though he did actually tell her how he feels, which I think is a more realistic reading on In Dreams. ......... You might be right about Jordan and language, but it's also possible that he's verbally clever enough to write songs without having a large vocabulary. On the other hand, in your previous episode you had him using "ironic," which I thought was a nice way of suggesting that he can pick words up quite quickly--and it's plausible that maybe someone had recently explained "endearing" to him or something, so he remembered it like "ironic." So I guess I should withdraw my criticism there :) ............ About the VO, I just started writing my own fan fic with my best friend, so I know just how hard it is to keep track of everything...
  • Brianne commented on 19 Aug 2001:
    With regards to Rickie and his telling, I think it's also worthwhile to note that Rickie is extremely honest. For instance, when Angela tells him that she can't believe Sharon would lie about Rayanne and Jordan having sex, Rickie affirms it. He could have feigned innocence, he could have suggested that Angela take her concerns to Rayanne, but instead he (abeit reluctantly) admits that it's true. In the case here, of Rickie telling Rayanne, he did so because he was pretty much asked by her, straight out. He had made the error of trying to leap to Brian's defense by citing the "issues" Brian was having and Rayanne pounced on what she thought may pan out to be a juicy bit of gossip.

    It's also possible, now that Angela knew, that the secret no longer carried the extremely "hush hush" stigma that it did when only Rickie knew what Brian had done. And, when you think about it, it was Rickie that told Angela in the first place at Katimski's house. So while a good friend, Rickie hasn't exactly proven himself to be great with a secret.

    As far as Angela's knowing how Brian feels about her, she knows what the letter says. Which when you think about it, isn't really much more than "I like you." The whole "I know that in the past I have caused you pain and for that I am sorry" bit really doesn't apply to his situation. That part he wrote for Jordan. So as far as "telling her how you feel" goes, it's more like, "have a conversation with her and explain your feelings." Pretty much, clear the air. And, Brian was suitably confused when Rickie went off, which I hoped would convey the fact that Brian didn't feel as if Rickie's tirade applied to his situation.

    Of course, feel free to disagree.

    Brianne
  • Elizabeth Wrigley-Field commented on 19 Aug 2001:
    I think the two scenarios described here--Rickie telling Angela about Rayanne and Jordan; Rickie telling Rayanne about Brian and Angela--are different, even though both involve Rickie telling the truth. In the examples from the show, Rickie is telling someone who has some claim to know, because the information affects them. The same can't be said of Rayanne in this case. Although you're right that the secret may not be as important now that Angela knows, it still kinda sucks for Brian. The explanation of the Brian-Rickie scene makes sense, but it didn't make sense to me as I was reading the script. I think it's nice your willing to discuss your episode in such detail.
  • Jim Brooks commented on 31 Dec 2001:
    I like the fact that you're exploring Jordan's home life, especially his relationship with his father. That was always an aspect of Jordan that intrigued since we don't know very much about it. Most of the ideas you present about it seem to parallel my own take on what Jordan's home life is like, particularly that he lost his mother - in one way or another - at a very young age, and so never having a female role model at home basically explains his attitude towards girls. You gave his father a name which i think is a mistake. I did it and I regreted it. He just seems like a character who should remain nameless. But at the same time, you have Jordan call his dad by his first name which is a nice touch in showing just how strained their relationshjip is. All in all, a story I enjoyed.
  • Ashley commented on 09 May 2002:
    I don't have time to give a real review right now, but I just wanted to say this for now -- I don't think that if the show would have continued, that Jordan ever would have voice overs. Just like we never get to see Tino, we never really get to know what Jordan Catalano is thinking or feeling.
    I know that we are all obsessed with the enigma that is Jordan Catalano, and want to know him more, which is why a lot of these stories have him talking twice as much as he ever did in the 19 episodes, but as much as we want MORE Jordan, it just doesn't work to have him talking all of the time. It isn't the reall spirit of his character. I am just as upset as everyone else that my all time favorite show was cancelled after opnly 19 episodes, but I honestly don't know how much further the Angela Jordan thing could have gone on once they got back together. Jordan isn't the "boyfriend" type. I almost think that the reconciliation would not have happened in #19 if the show had gone on.
  • Jennifer commented on 18 Jul 2002:
    i agree with ashley that a jordan vo episode doesn't uphold the spirit of his character. But i did enjoy this episode. i especially like what you did with the ricki storyline, about how he always gets caught up in other peoples dramas and how he sometimes feels that no one is concerned with his life. this was good. i don't really have anything else to say besides write some more.
  • anonymous author commented on 28 Jul 2002:
    I like these stories. I hope that even after 2 years there will be more!! BUT: Get rid of Jordan's VO!! What he is thinking is supposed to be a mystery to EVERYONE!!!! Oh yeah.. love the random "Krakow wears panties?"
  • Brianne commented on 20 Oct 2002:
    I just want to thank everyone for the feedback- negative and postive - and to say I do check back here every once in awhile to see what people think. I definitely don't think that Angela and Jordan would have gone the distance with their relationship, but since I wrote these two episodes and I liked them together, I put them together in my version of what happens when the show ends. Not the most likely outcome? Yeah, maybe. But I like it that way. At least for now. Who knows- maybe I'll write a 23 and have them break up....
  • chantal commented on 02 Nov 2002:
    thank you, thank you, thank you!!!! after reading some of the fanfics i was convinced that no one could ever create the perfect 20th episode. you not only did that but made an even better 21st episode. it was like watching an actual episode. you described the emotions so vividly that i was transported back to the time when the show use to air. please keep up the excellent work and keep mscl alive!
  • nicole commented on 13 Aug 2003:
    I've actually read a lot of fanfic lately, and I have to say that this is definitely one of the best. I really can actually picture the characters saying, and doing all of this stuff, and it really make me wish the show would have continued just like this! Keep writing this awesome story!
  • Daniel commented on 27 Aug 2003:
    i have to agree with the majority of the people who have already posted. while reading this story i could very easily picture the characters in the school / bathroom / kitchen. i think you did an amazing job. your episode 21 is 10 times better then My So-Called Life Goes On .. that book was really terrible. Unfortunately it looks like you haven't had the chance to write any more episodes in the last couple of years. Hopefully we'll see something soon.
  • Brianne commented on 27 Oct 2003:
    I just want to thank everyone for their comments. I haven't written anything in awhile, but now that I know people are still reading them, maybe I will!
  • Kelly commented on 20 Jan 2004:
    I would love to read more!!!!
  • Meg commented on 20 Jan 2004:
    Enjoyed finding out Jordan's perspective and your insight as to what his homelife might be like! Keep up the good work!
  • Brianne commented on 01 Feb 2004:
    Thanks Kelly & Meg!
  • Laura commented on 05 Mar 2004:
    I've spent the last few days reading a lot of fan fiction. It seems to me that the show has ended now, and people are still interested because they feel the characters are real and want to not only know what happens to them, but KNOW them. While I don't think the show would have shown Jordan's thoughts, I think that would be partially to keep viewers watching season after season if the show continued. I don't know if others agree, but I keep reading these fan fictions because I want some closure to the series...even still, so many years later. I LOVED this 21st episode. I have no complaints, accept that there isn't a 22nd. I think that just because Jordan doesn't know MANY big words, that doesn't mean he doesn't know ANY, and I thought Jordan's outword dialogue was truer than in any other fan fiction. I thought all your dialogue was well written actually (in terms of keeping true to the character). And I am finally satisfied that I know Jordan almost as well as the other characters. Please write me one more! -Laura
  • Brianne commented on 29 Mar 2004:
    I have started a 22. It may take awhile though!
  • Jessica commented on 08 Apr 2004:
    Ok I really like your story so far. I am one of those people that likes the Jordan/Angela relationship and would like to see it continued. I could totaly see Angela changing Jordan, you know like making him a better person. Glad to hear you are making a 22.
  • Jessica 1978 commented on 13 Apr 2004:
    I have to say I really loved both of these episodes! They absolutely blew me away. I have to disagree with some of the other reviewers comments that there would never be a Jordan V.O. b/c I think it would have happened. I mean they even did one that focused around Danielle and you hardly ever saw her in some eps. I just feel that eventually there would have been V.O.'s from all the younger characters b/c of how much they went thru together and even seperately. I have been watching the old shows on that noggin channel and I think I would have really been interested in hearing what Jordan, Ricky, and Rayanne were thinking in some very pivotal moments in the show.
    Thanks for such a wonderful story and I can't wait to read the next episode!
  • justme commented on 20 May 2004:
    oh my god!!i totally loved both of the episodes that you wrote...i realy liked the iea of jordan doing the VO..it kind of showed what he raly feels..you know...wel..i hope you write another one coz i'm totally hooked to what you wrote...byeeee...
  • Lone commented on 15 Jun 2004:
    Brianne, I too loved reading both of your episodes. The dialogue especially, was very realistic and true to the show. And thank you for having Mr. Katimsky in both episodes as well. He's always been my favourite character. Don't know why, but I think he's absolutely fab and loved Jordan's VO in that particular scene. Whether or not Jordan doing the VO is right or not is really not important here, I think. Since this is Fanfiction it doesn't really matter what WOULD have happened, had the show continued. This is our MSCL world and here everything and anything can happen right? And why wouldn't Jordan know a word like 'endearing'? He didn't know 'cuticle' and that's like, a pretty basic word, isn't it? He will just always be our favourite mystery man, won't he...
  • Brianne commented on 16 Jun 2004:
    Still working on it when I have the time...hopefully it will be finished sooner, rather than later. Thanks to all who leave feedback. Can't believe I wrote these in 2000!
  • Desdamona commented on 13 Jul 2004:
    I love this fic. It helps fill in gaps from the last episode. I like the
    way you have Jordan and Angela joking around, it's a good touch.
    But, as was already said, the Angela VO in a Jordan narrarated
    episode was a bad idea. Keep writing, I want to read more of your
    work.
  • slc commented on 11 Aug 2004:
    I am 25 and totally addicted to a show about teenagers that no longer exists. Obviously the last episode aired left me feeling a yearning for answers, and I loved your answers to the last episode. Your characters seem totally true to the originals, I can picture everything you write in my mind. I like where Angela and Jordan are going, it's just enough to satisfy that desire for "something" to happen, but not so cheesy as to be unbelievable. In fact there are times in the original episodes where what Angela and Jordan say to each other leaves me incredulous. I can't wait to see what you have thought of next. You are a truly talented writer.
  • Brianne commented on 12 Aug 2004:
    Thanks Desdamona and slc...
    I'm not working on the next one as much as I'd like, I've hit a bit of a wall with it. I hope to finish it though. It involves a party and some unusual combinations of characters. We'll see how it works out...
  • Brian L. commented on 19 Sep 2004:
    Brianne, just want to thank you for some closure with these two episodes -- I have to say you are incredibly talented. Really looking forward to #22!
  • Chantelle commented on 24 Sep 2004:
    I just want to say that I am so happy that you kept my favourite show of all time alive! I just started reading your stories and it totally brings me back to how much I loved this show. You definatly made it realistic an I hope there's more to come. Thank you so much for giving some kind of closure. I think that you are an awsome writer and I can't wait to read more. Keep up the good work...
  • cms commented on 08 Oct 2004:
    I really loved reading your two episodes!!! I am really looking forward to reading the next one! Your writing is so true to the original show and I love where you have taken it. Thank you so much!!
  • Lyndsay commented on 16 Oct 2004:
    I totally loved your story and where its going. It is so like the actuall show! I really hope there is another story after this one! Great Job!
  • trinity commented on 03 Nov 2004:
    hey i really love your storys i feel like most of this could of actually happened at least i would have liked for it to have happened this way anyway i really liked how they were joking around thats really cute well are you ever going to update?? cuz i see you havent updated in a few years!! please update!!!
  • Brianne commented on 04 Nov 2004:
    Thanks to everyone who left me feedback- I do still check back here! I'm planning on updating. I've written about 7 pages of another story. The site owner isn't currently adding anymore stories pending the redesign of the site. So hopefully, I will have it done by the time she gets around to it. :)
  • Becca commented on 23 Dec 2004:
    AWESOME STORY!!! I love the Jordan voice-over, regardless of how much it "gives away" of his character. It's refreshing to hear how he actually thinks about Angela and how she's the sort of relief from his world that seems to be "going nowhere fast." Maybe he'll change his mind about the song "Red," and make it about Angela. I wonder how long it will be before he finds a way to let her know how much she really does mean to him. The skipping school scene is an excellent way of showing Jordan's influence on Angela--she's slowly slipping into Planet Jordan until she forms a permanent residence there, and when she does, she will eventually realize that the tunnel that connects her to her former life is crumbling behind her, leaving her to find her own way back to the self-confidence and ambition that she has shown in some other episodes ("The Substitute" and "Angels" for instance). Wow...let's escape that extended metaphor while we can, shall we? Maybe I should write fan fiction. Anyway, the Rayanne lines were funny. I miss her frank, no-holds-barred sense of humor since she's been kind of sad in previous episodes (she doesn't want it to show, but it does) due to the "breakup" of sorts with Angela. I also like Jordan's comments about idioms and cliches--I know a lot of people who overuse them until the cows come home! This was by far the best story I've read so far on this site which I have just discovered about my favorite TV show! Keep it up, Brianne, and maybe I'll join you as a fan fiction author, because you've inspired me!
  • anonymous author commented on 30 Dec 2004:
    you write like the whole show sounds.
    perfect.
  • Me-me commented on 27 Nov 2005:
    JORDAN: (Smiles) Hey. I have a question…this has been like…bugging me…

    ANGELA: (Concerned) What?

    JORDAN: If your mom has blonde hair, right? And your dad has brown? Where did this red come from?

    ANGELA: (Bursting out laughing) A bottle!

    JORDAN: (Small smile) Really? I didn’t—

    ANGELA: (Still laughing) You didn’t know? I can’t believe you didn’t know!

    JORDAN: So what are you? Like…a blonde or something?

    ANGELA: Yeah.

    JORDAN: (Mock seriousness) I’m sorry, I can’t be with you. Our whole relationship is like, based on a lie.

    ANGELA: Oh, shut up!

    JORDAN: I’m serious.

    ANGELA: Oh yeah? (She playfully punches him)

    JORDAN: Nah.


    -----

    That was a perfect exchange. I love the way you write!
  • yligail gave this story a 5.0/5 5.0/5 rating and commented on 29 Feb 2008:
    i just got finished reading your story in it was incredible. and i totally love that random part about brian wearing panties. that is so MSCL. this is one of the best that i've read here. thumbs up on this.
  • Brianne gave this story a 5.0/5 5.0/5 rating and commented on 08 Apr 2009:
    Thanks for the feedback everyone! Can't believe how long ago I wrote these.
  • Jen gave this story a 5.0/5 5.0/5 rating and commented on 05 May 2009:
    I enjoyed these stories alot, Brianne. I kept thinking, "Whoever wrote these knows the MSCL world as well if not better than the actual creators". Of course, I loved the scenes between Angela and Jordan most- I could picture them perfectly! The Jordan VO and vocabulary makes sense because his character is evolving. All of these characters are growing up, plus in high school identities change rapidly as one becomes more self aware. As for Ricky telling Rayanne about Brian and the letter, everyone makes mistakes and his intentions were good. So I felt his error in judgement stayed true to character. I hope you keep writing episodes Brianne, I feel like I've gotten another glipmse into the MSCL universe. Thank you!
  • Ana gave this story a 4.0/5 4.0/5 rating and commented on 07 Sep 2011:
    Wow! These are really good -- I wish you would continue. I love how in-character everything is -- it really could be a script for the show!
expand

Add your review


“My dad thinks every person in the world is having more fun than him.”

Angela Chase, Episode 1: "My So-Called Life (Pilot)"