New Fanfic Coming

Discussion and questions about the FanFiction section of You can also post excerpts of your unfinished stories here if you're looking for feedback or ideas.
Mike B
Nicky Driscoll
Posts: 18
Joined: Jan 7th 2008, 2:14 pm

Re: New Fanfic Coming

Post by Mike B » Mar 13th 2008, 9:40 pm

Hi everyone :)

I just submitted my ep 22 to the admins. Above this post are the first 1500 words, but I made a few minor changes for the final draft.

Please feel free to rate and comment on the new ep. I'm happy to discuss the ep and try to answer questions here if you like.

And by the way, thank you Kimmeh for rating and commenting!

Now... I'm off to sleeeeeep....

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Sascha Team Team
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Location: Switzerland

Re: New Fanfic Coming

Post by Sascha » Mar 14th 2008, 2:58 pm

Mike B
Nicky Driscoll
Posts: 18
Joined: Jan 7th 2008, 2:14 pm

Re: New Fanfic Coming

Post by Mike B » May 6th 2008, 12:06 pm

Hi Everyone!

Hope you're doing well.

Thank you MonnyUK, Einah26, Kimmeh, and aristeia for leaving feedback on my eps! I've got the next one almost ready. I'll submit it sometime next week.

But for now, check out the first 900 non-proofread words.




An unfamiliar teacher stands at the head of an unfamiliar classroom. She's
early to mid sixties. Silver hair. Gentle face. Intense eyes. Energized voice.
Mrs. Paulson. She underlines hard on the blackboard, breaking chalk:


MRS. PAULSON: Early twentieth century - Mahatma Ghandi. He helped win
independence for India. Civil rights during the 50s and 60s. Heck, leading up
to the American Revolution - tax resistance, petitions to Parliament and the

STUDENT 1 (O.S.): The Boston Tea Party!

A WIDER SHOT reveals that Mrs. Paulson speaks to a mostly unfamiliar group of
students. Only a few are familiar. Gina in the front row. Shannon - Jordan
Catalano's friend - in the back. A few students sit on the heater, Rayanne
among them.

MRS. PAULSON: No, that was an instance of violence against property.

Some appear to be academically-motivated in general. Others do not. They all
listen to Mrs. Paulson with interest.

MRS. PAULSON: *You* are the next group to have the opportunity to make things
happen. To make them better. Whether or not you waste this opportunity? Is up
to you.

Gina's hand shoots up.

MRS. PAULSON: Yes, Gina.

GINA: My dad says that it's really important to fit into the professional
culture. I imagine in several years, I'll be occupied with fitting in instead
of making things happen.

MRS. PAULSON: This is true. Adapting to your environment, that's part of it.
Doesn't mean you can't also change it though.

She scans the room.

MRS. PAULSON: Speaking of making a difference, I hope that's something I've
done with you over the last several months?

Several students nod.

MRS. PAUSLON: Excellent.


Rayanne and Ricky approach Angela, who's at her locker.

RAYANNE: There you are.

ANGELA: Oh, hi, Rayanne.

RAYANNE: I missed you the other night.

ANGELA: Missed you?

RAYANNE: For my big unveiling.

RICKY: She's developing S & M tendencies.

RAYANNE: (with a look) I am not. I've had them for quite some time now.

Angela grabs another book.

RAYANNE: Anyway... so where were you?

Angela zips her bag, and they walk.

ANGELA: At Big Guy Burger.

RAYANNE: (significantly) Having an amazing Valentine's time?

ANGELA: (flat) Hmm.

RAYANNE: (to Ricky) Doesn't sound like Valentine's night bliss if you ask me.

RICKY: Definitely not.

RAYANNE: I mean, even Brian Krakow showed up... with that girl of his. (to
Ricky) Right? Didn't he?

RICKY: I have to say... he did.

ANGELA: (bothered) She's not his girl. She's like a junior. God.... We sat in
his car. And talked.

RICKY: We don't mean to pry. We just wanna know.

She stops short, breath caught in her throat, as she spots Jordan Catalano
chatting it up with Shannon. Shannon spots Angela and winks at Jordan. Jordan
turns to face her and...

ANGELA'S POV: Subtle smile.

ANGELA (V.O.): I would have thought that, by this point in our relationship,
his beauty would have lost some hold over me. Even just a little.

She smiles back. Shannon catches it and makes himself scarce. Angela drifts
away from Ricky and Rayanne and closes in on Jordan.




JORDAN: So, how's everything going? At home.

ANGELA: Pretty much the same as a few nights ago.

Jordan takes it in.

JORDAN: Bummer.

She looks into his eyes, waiting for him to say more.

JORDAN: Well, gotta go.

She watches him go, perplexed. Rayanne and Ricky join her.

RAYANNE: Definetely not bliss.


Angela works on her homework. Graham enters and takes off his coat.


Angela looks up from her work.

ANGELA: Dad? What's going on? Where are you... where are you sleeping?

GRAHAM: At Neil's. Look, I can't stay long. I just came for a few....

She tears up.

GRAHAM: Oh, baby.

He crosses the room and wraps her in a hug.

ANGELA: (emotional) I don't understand.

Graham sits down with her.

GRAHAM: Your mom and I... we're having some issues right now.

ANGELA: What kind of issues?

GRAHAM: (this is hard for him) I don't... No one's the bad guy here, okay?


He parts from her and goes upstairs.


Graham's piling clothes into a suitcase. Angela, still teary, pokes her head
into the door frame.

ANGELA: I heard you arguing. You and mom? I know this is about the restaurant.

He goes to her, kneels, and holds her arms.

GRAHAM: Honey, no.

He lets her go and sits on the bed.

GRAHAM: I just don't feel... It's like... I want my own life. My own passions.
And your mom just isn't good at... I haven't made it easy for her.

ANGELA (V.O.): You don't feel free. So... you get to leave? Sometimes I
wish I could leave.

ANGELA: (pained) Cause Danielle and I...

GRAHAM: (firm, not angry) This has nothing to do with you or Danielle....
This is about me and your mom.

He tosses more clothes into the suitcase.

ANGELA: Does mom know you're here?

GRAHAM: We talked earlier. Yeah, she knows.

He zips the case and steps past her into:


ANGELA: Are you coming back?

He takes a look at her. Then, he heads down the stairs.


Graham exits, while Angela watches from the stairs.


Mike B
Nicky Driscoll
Posts: 18
Joined: Jan 7th 2008, 2:14 pm

Re: New Fanfic Coming

Post by Mike B » May 14th 2008, 8:43 pm

Hi everyone!

I just submitted my next ep to the admins. When it's up, please feel free to rate and comment, and, if you have any questions, I will do my best to answer them here.

In the meantime, check out the first 900 non-proofread words above this post.


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Sascha Team Team
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Location: Switzerland

Re: New Fanfic Coming

Post by Sascha » May 16th 2008, 11:39 am

Thanks for submitting!

The full episode is now online here: ... tance.html

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