FANFIC FINALLY up....geocities.com/mscl_10

[tennisgirl55]

Sorry 4 the wait. The fanfic is now up. I hope u like it. Leave your comments in the guestbook.

[tennisgirl55]

Thanks to everyone who read it:D:D

[BeverlyHills_RockStar16]

Sorry 4 the wait. The fanfic is now up. I hope u like it. Leave your comments in the guestbook.

read what?

[Jody Barsch*]

read what?

The address is posted in the thread title.

[tennisgirl55]

Chapters 3 and 4 are up. I'm so sorry it took so long, but I kept forgetting and when I did remember, I was doing something else so I'm so sorry.. I will try to write more often. Please tell me what you think I hope you all like it. Thanks.

[Jody Barsch*]

read what?

The address is posted in the thread title.

I too had always wondered about where the story was, and then, stupidly, the day the title of the thread finally clicked for me (the same day I posted above), I never actually went to site to read the story. Until today. Way too late since I'm not sure if Tennisgirl55 is still coming to this forum. First, very cool page design. It's close to what I had in mind for my own 10 years story. Great job!

I had fun reading this (it’s not finished is it?) I really like the structure of your story – going from the past to the present in the ways and places that you do is really effective. I also really like your use of Angela’s voiceovers – I’m not sure I’ve ever seen them done quite like that. You have some really great moments in this story.
Although there are elements of the story that I don’t really agree with (Angela basically dropping her family for 10 years; the letter, two years after the fact, when she already partially knew, being what set her off; Angela’s life totally changing while Rickie Angela and Sharon seem a little stuck in their high school world (even with Rickie living in Canada); etc.), I do like your writing very much. Again, I think your story telling devices are interesting – starting your story with the same thing that ended the story (with two years in between), and echoing lines from the series. I’m sorry that I took so long to read it. Be sure to let us know tennisgirl when you next update.

She answered it on the 2nd ring.
“Hello?” she said as she sipped the coffee.
“Angela?” said the voice on the other end. Angela froze, it couldn’t be, it’ couldn’t. She recognized the voice….Jordan?
Angela just sat dumbstruck as the phone dangled carelessly from her hand.
It can’t be, the past doesn’t really come back to haunt you…does it?
She listened again, but this time she heard a female voice….”Angela….hello?”

I love this. This was very cool. You do this several times in your story -- play with you reader's and you character's expectations -- it makes the reading fun.

“When does your bus come, honey?” Patty changed the subject as if sensing Angela needed a bit more time to deal.
Bus, Just entering Three Rivers.

What a great moment of transition between the two stories.

Angela stared out the window, she was just thinking of the brief conversation she had with her mother before she had left, 10 years ago. Her mother had wanted [her] to talk to Jordan, but she didn’t, even though she should have. Her mother knew she needed time to deal with the events that had unfolded, but was ten years too long to deal, was it ten years too late?

That last line is great.

I once thought that high school was a battlefield for your heart, but the rest of the world, that’s the heart of the war, and you just have to keep fighting

Nice play with the original text.

They began to walk from the bus terminal “Angela,” said Sharon “There is still one person you haven’t asked about.” Angela’s heart did a back flip; they were going to talk about Jordan.
“Brian’s coming to the reunion” Angela’s heart settled

Another moment of playing with our and Angela's expectations.

Angela spun around to see Jordan, standing in front of her. Angela’s eyes widened and she opened her mouth to say something, but before she could Jordan grabbed her by the arms and pulled her into a deep kiss.

It's great that he just kisses her. That that's it.

[tennisgirl55]

hey, i'm still around, been busy though, but i'm gonna post some new chapters soon....maybe this weekend and I plan to update more frequently after that. Thanks 4 the continued intrest:D:D

oh and chapter 5 is going to be called Beneath the Surface.

[oaksand]

I too think your story is cool. I keep checking to see whether part 5 is up yet any progress?

[BeverlyHills_RockStar16]

i luved it!!<3 but i think angela should be more involved with brian, in the next parts of the stories. just too see what it would be like i luv them 2gether.

[annette]

Chapters 3 and 4 are up. I'm so sorry it took so long, but I kept forgetting and when I did remember, I was doing something else so I'm so sorry.. I will try to write more often. Please tell me what you think I hope you all like it. Thanks.

its a great story, cant wait for chapter 5 how is it going? i keep checking for updates in the hope it is up

[tennisgirl55]

Ok so i forgot about my fanfiction 4 a while, but I will try and update this week sometime (I will post when it is) and I'll try 2 update w/ 2 chapters:):)

Sorry again for the long wait but when I did think of it I was trying to sort out how I would write the next chapter but I think I have it all sorted:):) Thanks for all the comments for the past chapters.

[Jody Barsch*]

Looking forward to it

[oaksand]

have you posted yet i am having problems connecting to the site is this just me?

[annette]

Ok so i forgot about my fanfiction 4 a while, but I will try and update this week sometime (I will post when it is) and I'll try 2 update w/ 2 chapters:):)

Sorry again for the long wait but when I did think of it I was trying to sort out how I would write the next chapter but I think I have it all sorted:):) Thanks for all the comments for the past chapters.

please update it soon, i really want to find out what happens

[Tereza8472]

Hey I really enjoyed your story and I know that you have been busy but I hope that you can update it soon. I want to see what happens next!