Losing Focus

If you want to share some events in your life or thoughts about life in general with other MSCL fans or if you just want post a rant to let some steam off - this is the place.
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SanDeE*
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Losing Focus

Post by SanDeE* » Nov 21st 2004, 2:55 am

Do you ever feel so discouraged and worthless? What I mean is, I'm in the process of finishing up my undergrad degree and I'm swamped with so much to do. I know this is not uncommon or anything, I just need to vent for a minute! I have decided, however, to extend my undergrad by one more semester (so I'll graduate next winter, Dec 2005). That means I'll have 3 senior semesters. That helps somewhat, because then my workload for the next two semesters will be very little or all focused in one area, just composition. This semester I signed up for way too many credit hours because I thought I'd have to graduate in May 2005. And by the time I decided on the extra semester, it was kinda too late to drop anything. C'est la vie. Not that I don't like the classes I'm in, I like them, I just wish I didn't have four REALLY demanding classes right now.

I have a lot of project-based work this semester. Composition, Orchestration, and Painting are all project-based, Music history involves a TON of studying, three classes I'm in are performance/lessons which means practicing, and the last two aren't bad at all, but they still take up time. If you are keeping track, that's 8 classes = 18 credits. I am insane!

To top it all off, I have to prepare for my senior recital next semester NOW. So that is making me absolutely crazy, knowing what is coming up immediately when classes start in January. I have to have ~50 minutes of music for my recital, and I have about 20 more minutes to compose. That is a scary amount.

I know I am just driving myself nuts here, turning everything into more than it is, but I can't help it. I'm just so overwhelmed that I don't know where to start sometimes, and I end up so sleep deprived that I can't focus when I try to work. I get home from classes and I crash. Bad bad bad bad.

Thanks for indulging me, letting me rant like this!
Um, in my room, one seam is a little off and I stare at it constantly. It's, like, destroying me.

~~Kristin~~

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wicked
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Post by wicked » Nov 21st 2004, 11:14 pm

(((HUGS))))
can;t really reply right now, but I wanted you to know I feel for ya!
I'll try and post something tomorrow hun! HANG IN THERE!
"So this is hell. I'd never have believed it. You remember all we were told about the torture-chambers, the fire and brimstone, the "burning marl." Old wive's tales! There's no need for red-hot pokers. HELL IS - OTHER PEOPLE!"

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Post by Amika » Nov 21st 2004, 11:31 pm

Kristin,

I am glad your extending your senior year! It sounds like that will be a lot less stressful for you. My brother is currently taking 6 classes and he is swamped with work. I can't imagine how 8 classes would be! I commend you on your hard work Kristin.

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Post by Nothingman » Nov 22nd 2004, 12:50 pm

I extended my senior year to three sememsters, graduating in 4 1/2 years. I had 15, 12, and 12 credits those last semesters and it was excellent. I was able to devote time to my senior projects without feeling like I was sacraficing other classes. Part of what got me through was not doing homework on saturdays. Near the end of the semester it wasn't always possible, but throughout my college career it was my rule that saturdays were for whatever I wanted to do. That way, I never felt like I was slacking by not working on something on saturday and actually able to enjoy the time off. I think that played a big part in keeping me sane.

Good luck to you Kristin, just keep you feet moving.
"To come to your senses, you must first go out of your mind." - Alan Watts

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Post by SanDeE* » Nov 22nd 2004, 3:30 pm

Thanks, everybody, for your words of encouragement. I just have to get through the next three weeks, and then life will get a lot more managable for me. The next two semesters I have will only be 12 credits each, which is full-time status, but in a music degree that's really low. Almost everyone I know has 15 credits or more (as an undergrad, at least) every semester. I've never had less than 15 credits, and I've never had less than 8 classes any semester. I mean, I love being busy, so maybe it's just that I'm really feeling the crunch at the end of the semester hard this time.

It's weird, too, because I think my body is depressed because of all the stress, but my mind isn't. What I mean is, I still feel okay emotionally - I'm not sad or down - but my body is messed up. I have trouble sleeping, I have low energy, little appetite, etc. I hope that I'll feel refreshed after taking five days off for Thanksgiving.
Um, in my room, one seam is a little off and I stare at it constantly. It's, like, destroying me.

~~Kristin~~

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Post by lance » Nov 23rd 2004, 9:00 pm

Kristin,

Please, please take as much time as you need. No Referee is going to step out of the bushes and call a foul on you because you didn't finish in four years, right on the dot.

Took me 5 years to get my undergrad. I took six months off between my freshman and sophmore years and I have never regretted it.

-LanceMan

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Post by fnordboy » Nov 24th 2004, 12:05 am

Technically I am still in my senior year :lol: One of these days I will go back to college and finish...eh, probably doubtful. I have a career (whatever that is worth these days) and it has absolutely nothing to do with what I went to school for. Nor would I want to do what I went to school for as a living.

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Post by SanDeE* » Nov 28th 2004, 6:02 pm

Thanks again, everybody. I just got back from my Thanksgiving trip and I feel very much refreshed. I know I have a lot of work to do these next two weeks, but I feel like I have a renewed perspective on all of it. I just hope my boyfriend will understand that I won't be much fun the next two weeks! I'm making that up to him by taking him to a Green Bay Packers game on Dec. 19th. Is that a good way to make it up? :wink: I think so. Good reward for me for getting throught the semester too.

I'm happy about the extra semester - 4.5 years. I decided that during that spring semester after I graduate next December I'll start a master's here where I'm going to school now. If it doesn't feel right, then I simply won't enroll for the following fall semester and I'll move, figure out something else to do. I figure that if a master's degree doesn't feel right here at my school, it won't feel right anywhere else. So yeah. I have the next 18 months figured out, at least!
Um, in my room, one seam is a little off and I stare at it constantly. It's, like, destroying me.

~~Kristin~~

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lance
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Post by lance » Dec 2nd 2004, 11:12 pm

fnordboy wrote:Technically I am still in my senior year :lol: One of these days I will go back to college and finish...eh, probably doubtful. I have a career (whatever that is worth these days) and it has absolutely nothing to do with what I went to school for. Nor would I want to do what I went to school for as a living.
A lot of truth there. Other than a paper weight I can't think of what I used my History degree for. Although, someday I will go back and finish my Masters.

-LanceMan

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Post by SanDeE* » Dec 14th 2004, 7:59 pm

Just wanted to let everyone know that I finished my semester today!!! I only had one final exam and my double bass jury (for the non-musicians out there, a jury is like your final exam for lessons). But I had a lot of projects due last week. So YAY!!!!
Um, in my room, one seam is a little off and I stare at it constantly. It's, like, destroying me.

~~Kristin~~

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wicked
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Post by wicked » Dec 14th 2004, 9:56 pm

YEAH! GOOD FOR YOU!
( i rearely finish anything)
"So this is hell. I'd never have believed it. You remember all we were told about the torture-chambers, the fire and brimstone, the "burning marl." Old wive's tales! There's no need for red-hot pokers. HELL IS - OTHER PEOPLE!"

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Post by fnordboy » Dec 15th 2004, 1:25 am

wicked wrote:YEAH! GOOD FOR YOU!
( i rearely finish anything)
Like spellchecking! :D :P

Congrats, Kristin!

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Post by Nothingman » Dec 15th 2004, 12:07 pm

Congrads Kristin, enjoy your break. People who finished finals on tuesday or wednesday always drove me nuts, through no fault of their own. My finals always seem to come later in the week. Friends would come would be done and wanted to celibrate and I hadn't started mine yet. Enough to drive a stressed out person over the edge.
"To come to your senses, you must first go out of your mind." - Alan Watts

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SanDeE*
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Post by SanDeE* » Dec 15th 2004, 1:11 pm

Mine have always seemed to be done on Tuesday of Finals Week. Like I said, most of my classes have required a final project due the week before, so there is no need to have a final exam. I only try to pressure my boyfriend into celebrating with me when I'm done. I think I won't have any final exams next semester - just the bass jury. BUT... I'll have my senior recital to make happen, which will be a HUGE deal.
Um, in my room, one seam is a little off and I stare at it constantly. It's, like, destroying me.

~~Kristin~~

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lance
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Post by lance » Dec 15th 2004, 7:49 pm

Kristin wrote:Just wanted to let everyone know that I finished my semester today!!! I only had one final exam and my double bass jury (for the non-musicians out there, a jury is like your final exam for lessons). But I had a lot of projects due last week. So YAY!!!!
Woohooo! (spins in chair)

:D

-LanceMan

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