HELP!!!!!!!

Discussion and questions about the FanFiction section of MSCL.com. You can also post excerpts of your unfinished stories here if you're looking for feedback or ideas.
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wicked
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Post by wicked » Nov 5th 2004, 12:49 pm

oooo...speaking as one of the typing impared!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
typos are part of the editors job to catch!!
"So this is hell. I'd never have believed it. You remember all we were told about the torture-chambers, the fire and brimstone, the "burning marl." Old wive's tales! There's no need for red-hot pokers. HELL IS - OTHER PEOPLE!"

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Jody Barsch*
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Post by Jody Barsch* » Nov 5th 2004, 8:39 pm

Occasional typing errors are one thing, but like I tell my students, if you don't care enough about your writing to take pride in it by working your hardest on it (catching frequent errors, etc.) then I don't care enough to read it. You have to spend the time on your writing before I do.
Kickstart The Riches movie!

murfdurf22
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Post by murfdurf22 » Nov 6th 2004, 6:33 am

Regardless of what any other lunatic says about your story ilovemyboo, I really liked it, i think it will turn out to be a nice fanfiction. I really don't know where they should like meet or whatever. But i'll come back tomorrow..well later on today, lol, and tell you where might be a good place for them to meet. I can't wait till you're done with it so i can read the whole thang. Anyway, i'm out, gotta go to bed, cuz i'm hella tired. PEACE!

ilovemyboo
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Post by ilovemyboo » Nov 6th 2004, 11:06 am

ok, so ya im not the best writer, but if your gonna totally humiliate me *would you mind at least helping me out a little bit* thank you murdurff, i would really like to know if you had ideas. Sorry if I have typos (donsn't mean I'm an idiot as you made it out to be) Im not mad at anyone but, MY GOD(lolz) I wanted *constuctive* critisism. There is a MAJOR diffrence. So just sayin I'm not mad but I'm*dissapointed*(and a little affended) :cry:
much luhb
JiLl
(ow just lettin you know i write my name like that cause i like it that way, not because im mentally impared :P (smirk) )
MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE
"forget about those dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took"(giggle giggle giggle)
"this isn't a fashion statement, ITS A FU***** DEATH WISH"
"Say goodbye to the hearts you break and all the cyanid you drank"
*dancing is like camping ....... It's in tents

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Natasha (candygirl)
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Post by Natasha (candygirl) » Nov 6th 2004, 5:08 pm

ilovemyboo wrote:ok, so ya im not the best writer, but if your gonna totally humiliate me *would you mind at least helping me out a little bit* thank you murdurff, i would really like to know if you had ideas. Sorry if I have typos (donsn't mean I'm an idiot as you made it out to be) Im not mad at anyone but, MY GOD(lolz) I wanted *constuctive* critisism. There is a MAJOR diffrence. So just sayin I'm not mad but I'm*dissapointed*(and a little affended) :cry:
much luhb
JiLl
(ow just lettin you know i write my name like that cause i like it that way, not because im mentally impared :P (smirk) )
No one is "humiliating" you or saying that you're "an idiot." Jody was simply stating that if you are not going to bother to proofread/spellcheck your work, there are people here who won't bother to read your work. There are plenty of online resources available, such as grammar check and spell check.

As for constructive criticism:

(1) When someone simply says they like your story, that is not constructive criticism. This is not to pick on murfdurf's post, but it seems that ilovemyboo does not have a clear idea of what constructive criticism really is. It's not just "wow, that was the best story ever!" That is a compliment, but it isn't constructive criticism. If you are going to post your stories in a public forum and ask for feedback, you are going to have to develop a thicker skin - the truth of the matter is that not everyone will like what you write. If all it takes to discourage you is comments about your lack of grammar/spelling skills (not actual critique about your story), you might want to reconsider how much you really want to write or who you share your writing with.

(2) Your story is really almost too short for me to critique - even with Angela's thoughtful pauses, we're talking about maybe a full minute? All I can really say so far is that I don't think that Angela would say something like "typicall Jordan , seen me for 30 mins tops and hes already trying to get into my pants." In addition, simply setting up Jordan as a millionaire isn't enough. If you're going to have something that is a complete turnaround from the way we knew Jordan, it would help to have an explanation. If Angela is still in college (and I'm assuming she is an undergraduate), this story takes place between one to four years after high school. How many rudimentary readers with low literacy skills are able to make themselves into millionaires in such a short amount of time? In your first post, you said that Jordan is a musician so how about explaining that somewhere in your story? It's crucial that this be done realistically since even overnight sensations don't become millionaires immediately. You can make him successful, but don't let it become so far-fetched that it's unbelievable.
Natasha aka candygirl :: MSCL.com

Look, if this is weird for you, being tutored? I don't mind helping you a little longer.
You could have sex with me if you really want to help...I guess that's a "no"?

murfdurf22
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Post by murfdurf22 » Nov 6th 2004, 5:57 pm

Candygirl i do agree with you on the whole needing to have thicker skin or whatever when it comes to people talking about someone's stories. When i think about it, you really are correct because I noticed some errors in the story too but since ilovemyboo wasn't finished with the whole story i assumed he/she was going to spell check it when they were finished.

I know that everyone isn't going to like your stories, ilovemyboo, because i know for a fact there are plenty of people on this site who probably hate my stories in the fanfiction interactive story..thingy or whatever it's called, but i'm writing it because i want to, i'm not writing it to get their approval. And ilovemyboo there will be people who are going to have negative comments about your story, critizise it, and other stuff but just know that some of their opinions might be true. So when you read something that someone as typed on here and you find yourself not being that fond of it, just don't become angry or sad about it or block it out of your head, take time to think about it because it could be true

okay, thats all, i'm done giving my lil' speach, AND I PROBABLY HAVE SOME MISSPELLED WORDS UP IN THERE TOO! LOL!

Peace

-yo girl Murfdurf22

ilovemyboo
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Post by ilovemyboo » Nov 6th 2004, 7:47 pm

ok like i said not mad ,i swear, and i didnt mean for it sound like i thought you guys were calling me stupid i just say crap like that (or type) but thank you candy girl ill take what you said and try and re write some stuff
(i really cant write i go to a dance /arts school, spelling is an accessory lolz )(no really it is) but any way thank you. and jody i didnt mean to make it sound like i was mad at you either i just misinterpretated some things and some of the post came out wrong. So i hope you guys dont think im some kind of jerk or anything. and about the "punctuation errors"
hahahahahaha if you think thats bad look at my website hahahahah (ditz alert) OoOoOoO well if i cant write DANCE!!!!!!!!!!! :D
MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE
"forget about those dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took"(giggle giggle giggle)
"this isn't a fashion statement, ITS A FU***** DEATH WISH"
"Say goodbye to the hearts you break and all the cyanid you drank"
*dancing is like camping ....... It's in tents

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SanDeE*
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Post by SanDeE* » Nov 6th 2004, 8:34 pm

I was in an English class my sophomore year of college, and in that class my teacher had us do peer-evaluations. First of all, I think peer-evaluations are a really bad exercise. No student wants to be forced into telling another student what is wrong with their paper. Anyway, the girl I was partnered with was a med student and also a sophomore. The topic of our papers was the different languages we use with different groups of people we interact with, for example, how you speak with your parents versus how you speak with your friends. It was actually a cool topic. But her paper was riddled with the word "like" and all sorts of phrases people use in everyday oral conversation, and it was really inappropriate in a paper. She came off sounding very uneducated in the paper. The thing is that I never would have noticed how much she uses the word "like" if we were just talking, but reading it over and over again was really noticeable. Her paper was like this:

"...My teacher in that class was like so hot, and then we went out to like Mizzou to meet a bunch of our like friends..."

I don't remember exact phrases from her paper, but some sentances were similar to the one I wrote above. Is her teacher hot, or not? Should you even use the word "hot", or should you use "attractive" instead? Are they your friends or not? It was really frustrating to read, and it amazed me that this twenty year old college sophomore medical student could not write a paper. What was going on in her high school English program? Okay, I'm done with my pet peeve rant!
Um, in my room, one seam is a little off and I stare at it constantly. It's, like, destroying me.

~~Kristin~~

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SanDeE*
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Post by SanDeE* » Nov 6th 2004, 8:40 pm

One more thing. It is very important to be able to write well. Conveying your ideas onto paper is one of the most important skills you can have. Having good writing skills will advance you in EVERY occupational field, even in the arts. I'm a music student and I have to write all the time: in my history classes, in my listening lab classes... in everything. So, ilovemyboo, I hope you don't think that you don't need to know how to write well simply because you are in an artistic field. Writing is an art too!
Um, in my room, one seam is a little off and I stare at it constantly. It's, like, destroying me.

~~Kristin~~

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Natasha (candygirl)
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Post by Natasha (candygirl) » Nov 6th 2004, 10:56 pm

Kristin wrote:I think peer-evaluations are a really bad exercise.
I think peer reviews are evil and a waste of time. First of all, I don't think I need to do the teacher's job of correcting a paper. Secondly, it is each student's responsibility to read his or her own paper, not mine. The worst part is that a lot of peer review completely lacks any constructive criticism. Getting my paper back with a comment like "great description" doesn't help me to improve my paper in the least.

The worst story I have ever heard was my boyfriend's anecdote about his freshman English class in college. He was paired with someone who did not have good writing, spelling, or grammar skills. We're talking no redeeming qualities to his paper whatsoever. After my boyfriend took the time to go through the entire paper correcting as much as possible, he got his own paper back and the guy had crossed out all of my boyfriend's proper grammar and spelling, replacing it with his awful incorrect grammar and spelling.

:roll:

I danced at studios and on teams all the way through college, and quite honestly most people can't make a living at it so it's a good idea to get a good education so that when you can't find a dance job that pays the rent or you injure yourself, you will have something to fall back on. One of the most amazingly talented dancers I know who went to the University of Michigan on a dance scholarship and she is by no means a rich/famous dancer. Some other girls I used to dance with who had incredible technique and perfect dancers' bodies went to UC Irvine (which has a great dance program) and couldn't make a living with dance either. I say this not to discourage you, but to point out that it's very difficult to make a living as a dancer, so don't be too quick to dismiss the other aspects of your education.
Natasha aka candygirl :: MSCL.com

Look, if this is weird for you, being tutored? I don't mind helping you a little longer.
You could have sex with me if you really want to help...I guess that's a "no"?

ilovemyboo
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Post by ilovemyboo » Nov 7th 2004, 2:24 am

lolz thanks for the concern you guys sound just like my boyfriend he just dropped me off and we got in a fight about it (if my friends see this please dont ask me 999 questions on monday) he just was screaming at me "jillian your scaring me you think you can really live your life this way" and i didnt know what to say so i just basically told him that i was stupid. stupid in the sense that i dont know anything and stupid to have cut out all other academics for dance. and we got in this big fight over me quiting and all i said the whole time is NO(i guess im stubborn)then he just told me to get out of the car and he left (sorry hunter)
and know for the real reason why im saying all this HUNTER-i've know you for my whole life and think about every time i wasnt dancing.....how did i act, do you really think i was happy, didn't think so. you of all people know how many nights i've cried and sweat on that auditorium stage, and i know your worried, but i CANT LET IT GO. i thought you would understand, i guess im just going to have to do this alone
(sorry for having a awww poor white ghetto girl moment there)
but anyway i know its hard .......but believe me its a chance im willing to take, and i try really hard to not cut out other acedemic things, but where i live i don't always have a choice. I would love a chance to be smarter but sometimes i just, can't..........................
MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE
"forget about those dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took"(giggle giggle giggle)
"this isn't a fashion statement, ITS A FU***** DEATH WISH"
"Say goodbye to the hearts you break and all the cyanid you drank"
*dancing is like camping ....... It's in tents

TooCool4Skool
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13!

Post by TooCool4Skool » Nov 7th 2004, 12:35 pm

Dude... how old are you?? 13?!?!?

What is this, "Days of our lives?"

Sorry, I thought this was supposed to be about your My So Called Life story, not your troubling life.

I don't mean to be harsh, but?!?! I have some advise for you about your story... write more!

Then I can actually give you some advise.

But... I also say be easy on the girl to you guys, SHE'S 13!!!
Moltar- Well hey, Thom asked me if he could see my knife, and Thom's doing a song about knife, and he wanted to see what one looked like. Isn't that right Thom? (Pulls out knife again)
Space Goast- (Turns to Thom Yorke) Is that right?
Thom- ...No.
Space Goast- Cuz it sounds like a good idea... so do it.

-Space Goast With Thom Yorke

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Jody Barsch*
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Post by Jody Barsch* » Nov 7th 2004, 1:20 pm

I never had to do peer-editing in college, but we did have to do them in high school and in earlier grades. I don't remember being a great fan of them then, but now, with 130 students, I find I have to speak on their behalf. It is maddening to sit down with 130 essays, out of which only a handful have been revised from the first draft. With many students, even in the very prestigious community I teach in, in-class peer-editing is the only guarantee I have that the papers will be read even once before they are turned in. Teachers no longer just hand over papers to students and expect them to go at, there are worksheets with specific questions and tasks, enabling every student to complete that task somewhat effectively. And peer editing gives students the chance to see what peers at their grade level of capable of, trains them for self-editing, and gets them actually thinking about their writing, and making choices. And not to be a total drag in an entirely different sense, but I am a little concerned about young girls dating people at least three years older than themselves. I'm sorry I couldn't help it.
Kickstart The Riches movie!

ilovemyboo
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Post by ilovemyboo » Nov 7th 2004, 3:00 pm

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL, your all thinking what a strange child :shock: hehehehehehe IM NOT 13 the reason why it says im 13 is because i feel uncomfortable putting my real birthday out on line (including the year i was born) lets just say im older then 13!!!!!!!!! and im trying to look through my stuff with my best friend (she went to school) so shes helping me then ill try to put more out :D(lolz what a haggered little girl) :lol:
MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE
"forget about those dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took"(giggle giggle giggle)
"this isn't a fashion statement, ITS A FU***** DEATH WISH"
"Say goodbye to the hearts you break and all the cyanid you drank"
*dancing is like camping ....... It's in tents

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SanDeE*
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Post by SanDeE* » Nov 7th 2004, 5:31 pm

ilovemyboo wrote:i feel uncomfortable putting my real birthday out on line (including the year i was born)
You could have left that field blank, like candygirl and several others on the forum.
ilovemyboo wrote:but i CANT LET IT GO. i thought you would understand, i guess im just going to have to do this alone ... i try really hard to not cut out other acedemic things, but where i live i don't always have a choice. I would love a chance to be smarter but sometimes i just, can't...
What do you mean where you live you don't have a choice but to cut out academics? If you don't get good grades in high school, you can't even get accepted to an arts program in college. If I don't maintain at least a B average in college I'll get kicked out of the conservatory I go to. And by no means to you have to give up dancing to do well in academics. I took weekly lessons on three instruments, had golf practice four times a week, and was in a local band in high school and I ended up with a 3.8 GPA when I graduated high school (on a 4 point scale). I would have liked to be on the high school softball team too, but I didn't have time for that. Yes, there are choices you have to make with extra curricular activities in high school, but academics has to be number 1. Also, maybe you feel discouraged about school right now? Everyone goes through that, but it's never too late to shift your focus. Don't give up! Or else you will have worse to deal with when you graduate high school.

Keep writing your story. I'm confused as to how Jordan got so famous in only a couple of years... and this is coming from a professional musician and student of music. Unless he had some psycho/amazing PR and/or manager (take Ashley & Jessica Simpson's father, for example) immediately out of high school, well, I just don't buy it.
Um, in my room, one seam is a little off and I stare at it constantly. It's, like, destroying me.

~~Kristin~~

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