Help developing certain character storylines

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Jody Barsch*
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Post by Jody Barsch* » Jan 7th 2007, 8:04 pm

Here's the dumb college visit I mentioned. It's kind of boring and pointless, athough for me it's one of the moments that chronicles Jordan and Angela's friendship through the 10 years following their sophomore year at Liberty. Anyway, this is it (look for the alternative ending).

Jordan’s First Visit to Angela During her Freshman Year at College


[Angela is eighteen and a freshman in college. She is in her dorm hall’s lounge wearing old faded jeans, a big college hooded sweatshirt, and is barefoot. Her hair is light with highlights and her skin in bronzed. She sits in a chair with her feet pulled up in front of her. It’s late at night, and she is at a table with several other boys and girls from her hall. She has a coffee mug and a textbook and highlighter, but they mostly seem to be talking and not studying. A girl comes to the lounge wearing pajamas and carrying a black cordless phone. The girl, Angela’s roommate, opens the door to the lounge, but doesn’t exactly enter; she looks tired. It is WEDNESDAY or THURSDAY night.]
Roommate: Angela – phone. [Angela smiles and hops out of the chair and over to the exit, taking the phone from her roommate]
Angela: Thanks. [Realizing it’s rather late for a phone call] Sorry. [The girl shrugs and shuffles back down the hall. Angela remains in the opened doorway, not exactly in the hallway, and not exactly in the lounge. She puts the phone to her ear. The others continue their conversation, but also take note of her conversation] Hello? --- Hey. ----- Studying. I was up. So are you coming? ---------- I can’t. You should come here. ------------- Yeah. -------- Yeah, I’ll bet. --------------- ‘Kay. Night. [Angela hangs up the phone and reenters the lounge taking up her seat at the table again.]
Jose: Was that the guy?
Mike: The boyfriend?
Charlotte: The not-boyfriend boyfriend.
Mike: He’s coming here?
Angela: [Picking up her book, but not actually opening it] Mm, hm.
[A second girl enters the lounge from the adjoining kitchenette carrying a mug of tea. She joins them at the table, pulling her legs up cross legged in her chair.]
Gretchen: Who are we talking about?
Mike: [Leaning over the side of his chair into Gretchen, nodding at Angela] The guy back home.
Gretchen: Mm.
Charlotte: Two years older right?
Angela: [Angela’s responses are muted] Mm hm.
Jose: And in a band.
Angela: Yup.
Gretchen: Well, are you still together?
Angela: No.
Charlotte: He seeing someone else?
Angela: [Leaning back in her chair, feet on the lip of the table] I really don’t know.
Mike: Is he ‘cute’?
Charlotte: He’s gorgeous.
Gretchen: Angela?
Angela: [First reply with any amount of interest] Yes.
Jose: I can’t wait to meet this one.
Charlotte: You’re going to introduce? [Angela nods]
Gretchen: Not if she can help it.
Angela: [Rolls her eyes] I’m going to bed. [She leaves the lounge and as she walks down the hall to her room, she reaches up and knocks once on the fire alarm bell as she passes it]

[Down in the parking lot, Angela, in a mini and a different sweatshirt, waits in sunglasses as Jordan pulls up in his car.]
Angela: Hey! Yeah, just park there for now, my friend’s leaving for the weekend so he’s loaning me his pass. [Jordan gets out of the car, looks around, then gives her a good hug as she bounces into his arms]
Jordan: Hey. [There’s an awkward moment when they don’t know if they should kiss or not. They do, but it is quick and friendly]
Angela: I’m so excited you’re here! Come on. [He grabs a small duffel bag from the back of his car and follows her down the pathway to her building]
Jordan: You look great. [She turns around to look at him, takes a few steps backwards, smiles, then turns around again]

INT. ANGELA’S SMALL DORM ROOM – Ten minutes later
[In her dorm room a little while later, Jordan sits in the wood chair at her desk, she is sitting on her roommate’s bed with feet extended resting them against the back of the wooden chair tucked into her roommate’s desk. The door is open. Jordan’s absently flipping through a small photo album on Angela’s desk while she talks about her classes. There’s a knock on the doorway and the first girl and the two boys from the previous night are there.]
Charlotte: Hello.
Angela: Come on in. [Introductions are made. Jordan looks out of place, he’s not really participating; the kids, who are carrying on a normal conversation, from time to time steal a quick glance at him.]
Jose:: So what are you guys doing tonight? [Angela looks at Jordan with an expression that says, ‘it’s up to you’]
Jordan: It’s your school.
Charlotte: The film students are having their silent festival tonight.
Mike: Open Mic at Java Jones.
Charlotte: Sigma’s having an event.
Jose: They’re not going to a frat. There’s gotta be music playing somewhere.
Angela: Yeah, I don’t know. We might just lay low.
Jose: You can’t do that. What about a party?
Charlotte: Ooh! Or we could do something here. [Angela looks at Jordan again]
Jordan: Whatever you want.
Angela: No, you choose, you’re only here for the weekend.
Jordan: It really doesn’t matter.
Charlotte: Um, we’re going to, ah, go get dinner. … We’ll see you later? Nice to finally meet you Jordan.
Jose: Later guys.
Mike: See ya Angela. Jordan.
Jordan: [Head nod] Yeah.
Angela: So what do you want to do?
Jordan: It really doesn’t matter.
Angela: Don’t say that. That’s so frustrating.
Jordan: Well, just, you know, whatever you normally do.
Angela: But I want you to have a good time.
Jordan: You normally wouldn’t have a good time?
Angela: [Eye roll] Okay, so there’s the student film festival; local bands accompany the movies. There’s some one-acts being performed at the multi-cultural center, a few parties I think I know of, and there’s probably some bands playing downtown somewhere.
Jordan: Anywhere you could get in to?
Angela: Or we could hang around here.
Jordan: The movie thing sounds cool.
Angela: Really?
Jordan: Doesn’t it?
Angela: No, it does. I’m excited. [He smiles at her. There’s an awkward pause] So… Want to see the campus?

[Waiting in line for the ‘Reel Loud’ festival. There are hundreds of students outside the large lecture hall waiting for tickets. Jordan, Angela, and her friends from her hall are some of them. It’s just cold enough that there breath shows. Jordan’s cell rings, he pulls it from a pocket, looks at the caller, and shuts it off.]
Angela: It’s getting cold.

EXT. COLLEGE CAMPUS – Several hours later that same evening
[Group walking home through campus back to the dorms after the films have ended.]
Gretchen: [To Charlotte] What was that stairs one?
Charlotte: I do not know. [She grabs Gretchen’s forearm] But how awesome was it that great-hair-library-guy was in two of them?!
Jordan: [Leaning a bit towards Angela, speaking just to her, eyebrow raised] ‘Great-hair-library-guy’?
Angela: [Humorously saying it like it’s obvious] GHLG. [With a wry smile] Welcome to college life.
Jose: [To no one in particular] Music was good.
Jordan: It was.
Jose: [Turning back to look at Jordan] You play?
Jordan: Guitar.
Gretchen:[Meaning Jose] Him to. [Pause in conversation, then Gretchen speaks to Mike] Don’t let me forget, I need to borrow your Anthro notes from the last lecture tomorrow. [Conversation continues between the four walking slightly ahead of Jordan and Angela]
Jordan: Good choice. I mean, the movies.
Angela: Good.

INT. DORM’S HALL LOUNGE – Later that same evening
[Friday night, after the film festival, there’s about seven to nine people hanging out in the lounge. There’s a game of cards being played, while others are just talking. Jordan’s cell phone rings again and he excuses himself, taking Angela’s room keys, saying ‘give me two minutes’. Angela takes that to mean he’ll return in a few moments, but time passes and forty minutes later he still doesn’t return. (He meant for her to come meet him.) She waits and waits, and then after some discussion with her companions, she eventually goes to her room to find that he’s already in bed and asleep. Surprised, she quietly moves into the room, grabs her nightclothes and toiletries, and goes to brush her teeth. When she returns, Angela hesitantly gets in bed. Not knowing if she should wake him or not, she pauses as she climbs over him, debating. She eventually gives it up and turns over, her back facing him.]

INT. DORM”S HALL LOUNGE – Saturday Morning, 9:30
[Angela and Jordan are in the lounge. They’re drinking coffee and he’s reading the newspaper as she’s reading and marking in a textbook. Both are barefoot. Through the glass windows of the lounge we see a boy skateboard down the hall, and then another boy, following the first, holding his girlfriend steady on his board as he pulls her down the hall.]

[Angela has taken Jordan to a local independent music shop. They spend some time browsing through the stacks]
Jordan: [Moving behind Angela to look over her shoulder to see what she’s looking at.] What are you listening to these days?
Angela: Elliott Smith, Ben Folds, Nico, Nina Simone, Ben Harper, Cat Stevens, Tracy Chapman.
Jordan: Hmph. [Continues browsing]
Angela: I’m going through a big Smiths phase right now.
Jordan: [Rolls his eyes] Morrissey.
Angela: Come on, he dances with a huge branch sticking out of his back pocket. How do you not like a guy so completely over it? … Okay, yeah, so he’s not over it, he’s a little crazy, and Robert Smith hates him. Anyway, it’s the music I like, and the lyrics.
Jordan: [Cocking a brow as he walks over to the vinyl’s] ‘Frankly Mr. Shankly’? [Pause] What was that Descendents album doing in your room? That yours?
Angela: You know them? [Affirms as he picks up an album for closer inspection.] Yeah, some boys on the hall, er, Jose— are really in to punk – Dropkick Murphy’s, Face to Face, Pennywise, Lagwagon, Good Riddance, No Use For A Name, NOFX, Millencolin, NOFX, Anti-Flag…
Jordan: Look at you. … Jose’s the one with the hair?
Angela: ---- Yeah.
Jordan: He likes you. [Jordan speaks casually and then walks away]
Angela: [Catching up with him]No he doesn’t.
Jordan: Yes he does.
Angela: Well so what?
Jordan: Nothing. Just thought you should know. [Angela picks up a Belle and Sebastian album, but Jordan takes it from her and puts it back] Please. [He exits the store and Angela follows]

[Jordan, Angela, and several of her friends are at a pizza joint off campus. After a while the conversation turns to Angela and Jordan,]
Janette: Wait, so how do you guys know each other? You’ve known each other for how long? [Angela and Jordan look at each other]
Angela: Three years? I guess maybe a little more.
Janette: [Directing the question to Jordan] So, you met in high school?
Jordan: [Nods, then kind of grins ironically] She was getting arrested. [Everybody’s stunned in a jovial way and Angela’s cracking up]
Jose: Angela Chase?! Arrested?
Mike: I can’t believe it.
Charlotte: [Excited and ready to be entertained] Oh my God, what was she like in high school?
Jordan: [Angela looks at Jordan to see what he’ll say] In the first couple months I knew her, she got arrested, crashed my car, broke into the school, cut class, [Enjoying this, he turns to her with raised eyebrow to see what he’s left out, but this was enough for them]
Janette: God Angela!
Angela: It really wasn’t what it sounds like. [Clearly it amuses Jordan to paint her in this light]
Jose: You’re a real rebel.
Jordan: [Jordan pulls out his wallet] Ha, look what I found when I moved. [He pulls something from the wallet and tosses it on the table, and looks at Angela. It’s a picture of her from her sophomore year in high school]
Gretchen:: Wow! You’re so cute!
Mike:: Check the red hair!
Angela: Okay. [She takes the photo from them and communicates that it’s time for a new topic of conversation. Discreetly Jordan takes the picture out of her hand with his two fingers and tucks it back into his wallet, she’s kind of embarrassed about this, but is also slightly amused]
Mike: [Kind of looking in the direction of his wallet] Jordan, you 21?
Jordan: 20.
Mike: Oh.
Jordan: Why? You want something?
Mike: No.
Angela: He can buy you alcohol.
Jose: Really? [Jordan shrugs]
Charlotte: You have an ID?
Jordan: I never get carded.
Mike: Okay, so what do we want?
Jose: [A guy walks into the place and up to the counter. Jose recognizes him and calls him over] Russell! Russ!
Angela: [To Jordan as the others greet the new arrival] You don’t mind do you?
Jordan: Whatever.
Russ: [Greeting everyone at the table, then recognizing Jordan as he takes a seat] Whoa – you’re, um, Jordan something, you’re in that band, what was it? Residue and then Nasdat the Ludovico Technique right? [Jordan nods, Angela watches bemused] No way! I’ve totally seen you play. You’re awesome. What are you doing here?
Mike: [Gesturing]Visiting Angela.
Russ: No way, Angela? Hey, Angela Chase, how do you know this guy?
Angela: Uh, we dated in high school.
Russ: No s**t. [To Jordan] You guys still playing?
Jordan: Yeah, some. [The others at the table are debating and writing their alcohol shopping list]
Gretchen: [Indicating Russ and Jose] These two both play guitar. If people stay in tonight you guys should play something together.
Russ: What are the plans for tonight?
Jose: [Holding up the napkin list and a wad of bills] Angela’s boyfriend’s getting us wasted.

INT. SUPERMARKET – Later that same evening
[Angela and Jordan are pushing a grocery cart through the liquor aisle of a supermarket]
Angela: [Folding the list as they place the last item in the cart] They love you for doing this. … We don’t have to hang out with them tonight. We can bring this back and go do something else.
Jordan: It’s cool. [Grabbing a bottle of Patron as they leave the aisle for the register]
Angela: [Moving to reopen the list] Did I miss that?
Jordan: That’s for me; I’m not drinking cheap liquor and wine coolers.
Angela: Ah. [She starts unloading the cart] Why’d you say that thing about Jose?
Jordan: You see it now, huh.
Angela: No. … I don’t think there’s anything to see.
Jordan: Yes there is. [Nods to the clerk] Hey, how’s it going? [Back to Angela] He wouldn’t have called me your boyfriend if he wasn’t interested. In you.
Angela: That doesn’t even make sense. [Jordan pockets the receipt and Angela pushes the cart towards the exit] Maybe he’s completely disinterested.
Jordan: [Unlocking his trunk and then tossing her the keys so that she can open her door.] Which you know he isn’t.
Angela: I don’t see why you’d care. [She shuts her door. Jordan, still unloading the cart, rolls his eyes.]

INT. SMALL DORM ROOM ON ANGELA’S HALL – Later that same night
[Most of the people from dinner, including Jordan and Angela, and a few others are crammed into a dorm room. Music is playing, and people are drinking and talking.]

INT. DORM”S HALL LOUNGE – Later that same night
[Later that night, most of the people from the last scene, and a number of others have migrated into the hall lounge. Two people look as though they may be drinking alcohol from mugs or sports bottles, and a few people every so often leave and return (presumably to imbibe in another venue). The night is growing later and people are definitely a little better or the worse for wear. Jordan, Russ, and another guy, Timmy (the first of the skateboarders from the other day), are playing guitars. They play some real songs, and some they just make up, Timmy especially. Jordan mostly follows them. After a while Angela rises (a little unsteadily), and says she needs to go to bed. Jordan sets down the guitar he had been playing. Jordan shakes with Timmy who sits near him, and nods to Russ, then rises also. As a few people say goodnight, Timmy sings “Oh baby oh baby / I’ve told you before / The more I drink whiskey / I love you the more” ]

INT. ANGELA’S DORM ROOM – A few minutes later
[Jordan and Angela stand in the dark room kissing, with fervor]
Jordan: Where’s your roommate?
Angela: She’s sleeping down the hall tonight.
Jordan: God. I’ve missed you. [He wraps her up in his arms tighter and then lifts her to her desk]

INT. ANGELA”S DORM ROOM – Late at night
[In bed, in the dark lying on their backs looking up at the ceiling. Her knees are up, and her legs are over his. Angela’s twirling a lock of hair out in front of her face, and Jordan absently rubs one of her legs underneath the covers. They are quiet a long time. She’s breathing slowly.]
Jordan: You happy here?
Angela: [Angela nods] But sometimes I miss home. … I love that you’re famous here.
Jordan: How weird was that.
Angela: It’s cool. … Are you going to be around at Christmas?
Jordan: I don’t know.
Angela: Jordan?
Jordan: What college girl?
Angela: [Something in his voice discourages her from moving on with her though] Nothing. … [She snugs up to him]

INT. ANGELA”S DORM ROOM – Sunday Morning
[Sunday morning, Angela and Jordan are in bed.]
Angela: It’s nice that you’re here, I’m glad that you came. [He’s absent mindedly playing with her fingers, pressing on her fingertips with his thumb and forefinger one at a time] Do I seem different?
Jordan: [He’s not sure what answer she wants to hear, or even if this was one of those kinds of questions girls ask when there is a specific answer they want to hear, but rather than thinking about this further, he thought about the answer, looking at her, and shakes his head] No. A little. Not really. You seem more— comfortable. [She gives him a funny look, and rather than be found too serious he kicks her legs off him, reaches for his shorts and climbs out of bed. As Angela continues to talk, he dresses and tosses a sweatshirt to her, which she pulls on.]
Angela: Are you seeing anyone. Hand me my jeans. [Again Jordan glances at her to try to read the question, but more subtly this time]
Jordan: [Hands her the pants] No one in particular.
Angela: [Dressed now, but still in bed, she waits a few moments to be asked the same question, when she isn’t, she volunteers the information] I’m not either.
Jordan: [Making a pot of coffee in her roommate’s coffee maker] Well, that’d be weird if you were. [She doesn’t get it, he clarifies] If you invited me anyways.
Angela: Why? We’re friends. [Jordan kind of snorts to give her agreement]
Jordan: Yeah. ….. I gotta get going.
Angela: Really?
Jordan: Yeah. [A friend sticks her head into Angela’s room]
Gretchen: Hey Angela. [Sees Jordan] Hey. [Back to Angela] We’re going over to the MCC in a little for that speaker on Morrison. Wanna grab lunch first? [Realizing she might have plans with Jordan] Unless …
Jordan: Go ahead, I’m out of here.
Angela: [Angela looks at Jordan and then addresses her friend] Yeah, okay. Um, give me ten minutes?
Gretchen: Yeah, we’ll be in Na Young’s room. [To Jordan] Nice to meet you. [He nods]

EXT. SMALL PARKING LOT BETWEEN COLLEGE DORMS – Sunday morning, fifteen minutes later
Angela: I’m glad you came.
Jordan: Yeah. I liked seeing your school. It seems cool – lots of things going on, the people all seem pretty cool.
Angela: [She hugs him before he was aware it was going to happen, and she holds him] It was nice to see you. [He moves his arms around her and holds her. They stay like that. Then there is a tighter and longer squeeze. They break away and Angela leans down to pick up the bag Jordan dropped, when he grabs her by the wrist, pulls her to him, with one hand on the back of her head, he kisses her, and she definitely kisses back. After the kiss he still holds her, resting his chin or cheek on her head]
Jordan: Miss you. [A few seconds more and the hug is over, Jordan has his bag in hand and is moving around the car] Oh, listen, Tino says hey.
Angela: Yeah?
Jordan: He’s all amped on you being in college.
Angela: Well he’s welcome to come up.
Jordan: I tell him that, and he’ll come to take you to lunch, and end up moving into your dorm and sleeping on your floor for no less than two weeks.
Angela: Well tell him hi for me.
Jordan: Yup.
Angela: Have a safe trip.
Jordan: See ya.

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Jody Barsch*
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Post by Jody Barsch* » Jan 7th 2007, 9:46 pm

~ Alternate Ending to Saturday Night ~
[In the lounge Saturday night… After a while Angela rises (a little unsteadily), and says she needs to go to bed. Jordan sets down the guitar he had been playing. Jordan shakes with Timmy who sits near him, and nods to Russ, then rises also. As a few people say goodnight, Timmy sings “Oh baby oh baby / I’ve told you before / The more I drink whiskey / I love you the more” ]
Angela: We’re a, we’re gonna head to bed.
Mike: Night guys.
Gretchen: Yeah. Good night.
Guy: See ya.
Russ: Thanks for the booze.
[Angela and Jordan enter her dark bedroom. She’s a little drunk – giggling and stumbling a little.]
Angela: It’s dark. [They move around the darkened room doing end-of-the-evening sort of things]
Jordan: Where’s your roommate?
Angela: Sleeping down the hall. You tired?
Jordan: No.
Angela: Well … we’re both awake. You were asleep last night.
Jordan: [Moving towards her] That’s because you never came in.
Angela: Some signals must have been crossed somewhere. [Pause] Any crossed singles now?
Jordan: ‘Signals’? No.
Angela: [Small laugh, not noticing her slips] Did you say ‘signals go’?
Jordan: Angela. [Jordan steps closer to her, and kind of brushes her face with his hand.]
Angela: Hi. [He hesitates as he moves in to kiss her. There is pausing and tilting of heads to one side and then another. Before he actually kisses her, he moves back a little to look into her eyes to gauge the moment, and then he kisses her. She kisses him too, but as she does so she stumbles and falls out the kiss. Covering her forehead with her palms, she turns] Oh, I’m dizzy. [In one deft movement she removes her shoes and pants is awkwardly climbing into her raised bed. Jordan watches in confusion, but then as it looks like she might not make it, he moves across the room and stands behind her to assure that she doesn’t fall. There is another struggle as she tangles herself when removing her sweatshirt, and then collapses on her pillow.] Come to bed. [He looks at her] I’m fine. [Her eyes aren’t focusing well] Really. [Angela sits up the best she can and kisses him. This seems to convince him until she stops kissing mid kiss, kind of dazes, then lays back down, almost dozing off. Jordan stands in the dark, leaning against her desk. Scratches the back of his head the way he does, casts a quick glance in at Angela, then grabs her keys from her desk where she’d tossed them, pats his pocket checking for his cigarettes and moves towards the door.] Where are you going?
Jordan: For a smoke.
Angela: Come to bed.
Jordan: Five minutes. [He tosses her a bottled water and then slips out]

INT. ANGELA”S DORM ROOM – Late at night
[In bed, in the dark, Angela wakes up.]
Angela: I need water. [Jordan groggily reaches over to her desk and passes her the bottle of water. She tries to drink it without sitting up, but it spills down her chin and chest, so she tries again, this time propping herself on her elbows. A moment later, when it seems like she has almost fallen back asleep, she awkwardly tumbles out of bed, squishing Jordan in the process, stumbles the few steps to some drawers] Oh God. [Pulls out an aspirin then climbs back in bed where Jordan has made room for her. She swallows the pill and then lies back down. Jordan lays on his side, she on her back, knees up, looking up at the ceiling. They are quiet a long time. She’s breathing slowly.]
Angela: Sorry about—
Jordan: Don’t.
Angela: Okay.
Jordan: You like it here?
Angela: [Angela nods] But sometimes I miss home. … I love that you’re famous here.
Jordan: How weird was that.
Angela: It’s cool. … Are you going to be around at Christmas?
Jordan: I don’t know.
Angela: Jordan?
Jordan: What college girl?
Angela: [Something in his voice discourages her from moving on with her though] Nothing. … [She snugs up to him]

INT. ANGELA’S DORM ROOM – Sunday Morning
[Sunday morning, Angela and Jordan are in bed. Jordan’s absent mindedly wrapping his middle finger and thumb around her small wrist, watching her hand flop]
Angela: Nothing happened last night.
Jordan: Nope.
Angela: Hmph.
Jordan: What?
Angela: Nothing.
Jordan: [He gets out of bed] Angela. You’d been drinking. I wasn’t clear on what you wanted.
Angela: Okay…
Jordan: [Dressing] What?
Angela: Nothing. I get it.
Jordan: [Incredulous] You do?
Angela: Yeah – Toss me my jeans – I wasn’t really sure what that part of the weekend would be like; now it’s clear.
Jordan: Oh yeah? [He clarifies for her] Angela, I’ve never been with you when you’ve been drinking,
Angela: [Not seeing this as an explanation as she considers that a mute point I never drank in high school.
Jordan: Not everyone who never drinks never drinks.
Angela: [Rhetorically but with no accusatory tone] So you’ve never slept with someone who’d been drinking?
Jordan: You were my girlfriend.
Angela: Well, I’m not sure what difference that would make, but I’m not your girlfriend now. [She looks at him with big eyes]
Jordan: No. [Pause] Stop looking like that. [Angela looks at him intently, then twists her lips to the side and sighs]
Angela: Breakfast?

[Angela and Jordan walk up the stairs to her floor]
Angela: It’s nice that you’re here, I’m glad that you came. Do I seem different?
Jordan: [He’s not sure what answer she wants to hear, or even if this was one of those kinds of questions girls ask when there is a specific answer they want to hear, but rather than thinking about this further, he thought about the answer, looking at her, and shakes his head] No. A little. Not really. You seem more— comfortable. [She gives him a funny look, and rather than be found too seriously he bounds ahead, taking the three remaining. Her room is second from the stairs, and Jordan leans against her door as she turns the corner from the stairwell]
Angela: [Tossing her keys ahead to Jordan, who unlocks the door. She steps into her room] Are you seeing anyone. [Again Jordan glances at her to try to read the question, but more subtly this time]
Jordan: [Sets down her keys] No one in particular.
Angela: [Angela waits a few moments to be asked the same question, when she isn’t, she volunteers the information] I’m not either.
Jordan: [Flipping through a book on her desk] Well, that’d be weird if you were. [She doesn’t get it, he clarifies] If you invited me anyways.
Angela: Why? We’re friends. [Jordan kind of snorts to give her agreement]
Jordan: Yeah. … [Angela gestures she can make a pot of coffee in her roommate’s coffee maker, but he shakes his head] I gotta get going.
Angela: Really?
Jordan: Yeah. [A friend sticks her head into Angela’s room]
Gretchen: Hey Angela. [Sees Jordan] Hey. [Back to Angela]We’re going over to the MCC in a little for that speaker on Morrison. Wanna grab lunch first? [Realizing she might have plans with Jordan] Unless …
Jordan: Go ahead, I’m out of here.
Angela: [Angela looks at Jordan and then addresses her friend] Yeah, okay. Um, give me ten minutes?
Gretchen: Yeah, we’ll be in Na Young’s room. [To Jordan] Nice to meet you. [He nods]
Final scene remains the same
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Post by Jody Barsch* » Jan 8th 2007, 7:37 pm

Yeah... I think the past two weeks of reading Stephenie Meyer's two books have gotten the better of me. I've reread this "episode" two times, and it seems slightly stupider each time. Oh well, it was nostalgic. Nothing like living in the dorms :D

I'm working on my next episode (25?) right now, but it has a LOOOOONG way to go. I'm adding a new character. :shock: I didn't think I would do that, but I feel like I've written myself into such an abyss through which I can't see the original characters reconnecting, so I'm taking the coward's/quitter's way out and adding a character. I'm thinking "Sadie" -- a kind of Sarah Silverman, Sam from Perks, and STARGIRL, with a little of my high school friend Kym thrown in.

Still having a hard time with Rickie. I absolutley cannot write for him. I think I might take this to the episode forum...

Thanks to everyone who's still reading -- I hope the writing's not on a complete and progressive nose dive.
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Post by oaksand » Jan 14th 2007, 1:14 pm

i liked the original ending better being an old romantic but maybe the alt ending was more realistic keep writing anyway new stuff still excites me

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Location: Los Angeles

Re: Help developing certain character storylines

Post by Jody Barsch* » Nov 12th 2009, 1:42 am

Something new (well not really, I've had pieces of it for a long time). I don't think this storyline would actually happen on the show, and I don't think this would actually happen to Angela, but, after reading a number of posts (and I think storylines in the interactive story) in which Angela gets pregnant, I started to wonder how I'd write it, so here it is... or, here it will be shorlty, in pieces and incomplete, but probably as complete as it'll ever be. [This uses characters not from the show that I've used in other stories -- the Assistant Principal, and Lisa, Jordan's older half-sister, and her long-time boyfriend Ben.]
Anything in a different color or smaller size indicate things I'm not sure about, happy with, or can't make a descision on -- any input, particularly on the split / options, would be great.

The following has been revised from the original post:

[Fall of Angela’s junior year. Angela (now back to her natural hair color, maybe a little sun-bleached, with just a slightly edgier/modern hair cut) comes into the loft where Jordan is rehearsing with the band – she looks crushed and one of the guys kind of taps Jordan to catch his attention – Jordan looks and stops playing – everybody else kind of tries to mind their own business, but are definitely intrigued. Jordan unstraps his guitar and walks over to her.]
JORDAN: What happened?

ANGELA: Can I talk to you?
[Jordan nods, sets down his guitar, picks up his jacket, and follows Angela out the door and down the stairwell. A few stairs down she stops and kind of shudders.]

JORDAN: Angela, what happened?

ANGELA: Okay, so… This isn’t something I want to say, but …

JORDAN: Are you okay?

ANGELA: I’m pregnant.
[Clears her throat] I just took my second test. And I’m pregnant.

[Instinctually looks up to the stairs to the loft – the door is still closed. He swallows] …Are you okay?

ANGELA: Hmph. Excellent.

[Studying her] What can I do? ___ Have you told your parents? [She shakes her head] Do you want to go do that?

ANGELA: I want to disappear.

JORDAN: Come here.
[He holds her, but looks genuinely freaked out himself]

- - - - - - - - -

[Angela and Jordan enter the Chase home, early evening.]
PATTY: Oh, Angela, you’re home. Could you—


PATTY: Oh, Jordan, hello.
[Patty looks a little crazed, and while mildly surprised to see Jordan inside the house, she continues her movements around the room, not noticing their demeanor] Angela, I need you to –

[Angela has not gotten her mother’s attention, and she tries again, Jordan hangs back, extremely uncomfortable and unsure] Mom. [Patty stops, turns, looks, and sees] Is Dad here?

* * *

[Angela and Jordan sit beside one another, Patty and Graham across from them. They have just heard the news.]
GRAHAM: You’re sure?
[Angela nods]

PATTY: Well, you’ll need a blood test, to be sure. Have you done that?
[Her parents look at her, Jordan sneaks a sideways glance, she shakes her head]

GRAHAM: So, we don’t know for sure.

ANGELA: I took two tests. And…

PATTY: How late are you?
[Graham, Jordan, and Angela are mortified, Angela looks to Patty for a reprieve, but seeing none, murmurs an answer] Almost three. Weeks. [Graham exhales, Patty breaths in, Angela tugs her earlobes, Jordan does not move]
* * *
PATTY: Look, if the condom didn’t protect you from pregnancy, it didn’t protect you from STD exposure.


[Talking over her] Jordan, you’ve had other partners. [Jordan nods] Angela, you’ll need to be tested.

[Horrified] Mom.

PATTY: Angela, no.

* * *

GRAHAM: Have you thought at all about what you –
[Angela is on the verge silently crying, or if she already had been, more conspicuously now. Jordan does not react; rather, he reacts, but does not act. He is not sure of himself in these circumstances, but in a moment more he takes her hand. Unlike what he’d been thinking, her parents take no note of it. … Time passes, they discuss options, but in a short montage with no sound of their dialogue.]

AVO: It went on. Abortion. Adoption. No one spoke about keeping it, to keep. That would have to wait for more reason and less passion.

* * *

[Angela, Graham, Jordan and Patty look horror-stricken and exhausted; they’ve been talking for a long time. Angela and Jordan are not sitting all that close together, and have experienced this conversation very differently.]
GRAHAM: Well, I guess we should eat something.
[Everyone kind of looks at him like this is the most bizarre thing they have ever heard] Jordan – would you stay for dinner? [Jordan doesn’t know how he should, or wants to respond to this, or what his obligations are.]

[Eventually she stands up to follow Graham into the kitchen, she sounds and looks exhausted] We’ll let you talk … [As an afterthought, she turns] Jordan, when will you be telling your father? [Jordan doesn’t say anything, Angela tries to intercede, but doesn’t end up actually saying anything. Jordan finally speaks, after a quick clearing of his throat and a glance in Angela’s direction.]

JORDAN: I don’t know.
[Patty isn’t crazy about this answer, but she decides to let it go, for now, and exits into the kitchen.]

ANGELA: [Angela isn’t able to move until several moments after her parents have left the room] I feel so— This shouldn’t be real. I feel like such a … … You don’t have to stay.

[Looks and sounds a little relieved] Do you want me to stay?

[Flatly apathetic – she can’t think about dinner invitations] I have no idea … I guess there’s a decision to be made. [Looking to him] Any thoughts?

JORDAN: Nothing— Nothin’ I’d say at this point. You?

[Aloud, but more just voicing her thoughts than speaking to him; she isn’t looking at him when she speaks.] I don’t want to be pregnant. I don’t want to be a parent or to have a child. ___ [lower] I’m scared. ___ [She looks at him, there’s a pause] And I’m ashamed.

JORDAN: You don’t have to feel that way about it.

ANGELA: Only fools get pregnant when they don’t mean to.

JORDAN: You shouldn’t think about it that way.

[Abrupt] I’m scared to have an abortion.

JORDAN: Wull, it sounds like you have some time…

ANGELA: Right… I’m going to go in, you should go home. _____ Thank you for sitting through that.

JORDAN: You sure?
[She nods and hugs him, they hold each other tightly] I’ll talk to you soon?

ANGELA: I’ll see you tomorrow.
[He leaves through the front door.]

- - - - - - - - -

[Jordan pulls up to his house later that evening. He’s in a daze. He enters his house, the phone’s ringing, he walks by it, but thinks better of it and picks up.]
SHANE’S VOICE: Jordan! Tino there?

[A little out of it] Haven’t seen him.

SHANE: He said he was going over there. He heard about your lady showing up to the loft. Wanted, you know, to ... check in. … Everything cool?


SHANE: Cool?

JORDAN: Not really. Look, I gotta go. Tell Tino— Tell Tino I’ll find him tomorrow.

SHANE: Yeah man; but he’s probably on his way there now. _____ You’re really not going to say anything?
[Jordan hangs up the phone, and heads back to his car.]

- - - - - - - - -

[Patty’s sitting alone at the dining room table, Angela, now in her pajamas, comes hesitantly down the stairs to speak with her mother.]
[She starts to speak a number of times before she actually fixes on a thought and verbalizes it.] What do you think I should do?

PATTY: I’m still thinking about that Angela.

ANGELA: But, you must—
[She sits and pulls her legs up, sitting cross-legged across from her mother.] You were adopted, put up for adoption; do you have an opinion on that?

PATTY: My parents evidently didn’t feel equipped to raise me, for whatever reason, so, I was adopted.

ANGELA: But, how do you feel about that? I know you tried to find them; are you angry?

PATTY: Angela, your grandparents loved me. I grew up. _____ Abortion was illegal then. It existed, but it was dangerous, and had severe consequences. Are you asking if I’m happy I was born?

ANGELA: But, do you ever think about her? Your, ‘birth’ mother?

PATTY: I did. When I was young, and when I was your age, and when I was pregnant with you girls. I don’t know if she was young, or grown, or troubled, or alone – I don’t know.

ANGELA: ______ Mom? Just, thank you for— Are you really angry? I know you told me to be careful, I know you tried to talk to me, but, I really thought we were being careful
[She starts to cry] I thought I was being safe.

PATTY: I know, I know.

ANGELA: I’m so sorry.

PATTY: Angela, it’s going to be okay. We will make a decision, and you will be okay. We love you. Daddy and I love you. And we know it was hard to tell us, and brave to tell us so quickly.

ANGELA: _______ Do you hate Jordan?

PATTY: We don’t ‘hate’ him. Very much.

ANGELA: No, but really?


- - - - - - - - -

[Later that same evening, Jordan is in his car chain smoking. There’s a knock on his window and Ben, Lisa’s boyfriend is leaning over to see into the car.]
BEN: Coming in?
[Jordan looks like hell. After a few moments he collects himself and follows Ben inside. He drops onto the sofa. Ben brings out two beers from the kitchen and hands Jordan a bottle. Jordan drinks nearly the whole thing in one breath. He still says nothing. Ben is a little thrown.] Lisa’ll be home soon. ____ Do you want me to call a few places, try to find her? Can I do something? ____ Is it your dad? Are you okay? School? Work? [Jordan drinks what’s left of the beer]

JORDAN: Angela’s pregnant.
[Ben puts his hand on Jordan’s shoulder.]

* * *

[Ben and Jordan are sitting on the sofa. Lisa comes home and immediately notes the mood.]
[To Ben] What is it? [She looks to Jordan] What’s wrong? __ What did he d— [Jordan shakes his head.]

BEN: It’s not your dad.
[Ben looks to Jordan for permission to tell. Getting no response, he takes that as his consent] Angela’s pregnant; by Jordan.

LISA: Oh God.
[She sinks besides Jordan on the couch, taking the beer from Ben’s hand and takes a big drink] How did this happen? [Jordan shakes his head]

JORDAN: I dunno.
[She rubs his back]

LISA: Did you just find out?

JORDAN: She told me. We told her parents.

BEN: All today?
[Jordan nods, Lisa rubs his back again] What did her parents say?

LISA: What are they supposed to say?
[to Jordan] Did you make any decisions? [Jordan shakes his head] J, I’m sorry to ask, but, weren’t you safe?

JORDAN: I was. Every time.

LISA: What can I do for you? What do you need?

JORDAN: I don’t know what to do.

LISA: Does Angela know how to get a hold of you here?
[Jordan shakes his head] Should you call her?

JORDAN: Should I?

BEN: That would be decent.
[Jordan sighs, staring off. He’s not sure of himself, and he doesn’t want to say anything.] People get through this. It’ll be okay.

LISA: We’ve got you. Want me to call Tino?
[Ben pulls out papers and a plastic baggie of green.] … How’s she doing?

- - - - - - - - -

[Ben wakes Jordan up in the morning, putting a cup of coffee in front of him.]
BEN: Gotta get to school.
[Jordan rubs his eyes, making no indication he’s moving from the sofa anytime soon.] You need to be there. If she’s there and you’re not— [Jordan considers this, then scratches his head and rises.]

- - - - - - - - -

[Jordan parks his car; the student parking lot is almost full as it is late. He walks briskly toward the school’s front entrance. There are only a few scatterings of students as the first bell has already rung. Taking the steps two at a time, but by no means running, Jordan’s covered the distance in very little time; he enters the hallway and runs into Joey.]
JOEY: Hey! Catalano!
[Jordan stops] What’s the word? You disappeared yesterday. What happened?

JORDAN: I gotta go.

JOEY: Unless you’ve got class together, you’ve already missed her
[He signals the bell with his index finger, it rings, and homeroom has begun.] Do you have class with her? [He sees that he doesn’t and so makes a little head jerk for Jordan to follow him] Coffee?
* * *

[Jordan and Joey slip into the teachers’ lounge, grab two mugs and pour themselves coffee (they’ve clearly done this before). Jordan goes to work adjusting the sugar ratio in his coffee while Joey scopes the muffin options.]
JOEY: Love faculty meetings.
[Mouth full of a cranberry muffin] So, you gonna talk?

JORDAN: It was nuthin’.
[Joey might buy this, he might suspect Jordan’s lying, but he isn’t going to press it.]

JOEY: Got a smoke?
[Jordan nods and pats his pockets]

JORDAN: Tino around?
[Jordan finds a pack in his jacket, and another, nearly empty, and somewhat crushed one in his back pocket. Surprised, he tosses the second to Joey.]

[Swigging his coffee as he closely inspects the faculty bulletin board.] Of course. He’s still going after Cassie.

[Not really that interested] Cassie who? __ What? That teacher?

JOEY: That student teacher.
[Packing the cigarettes] Twenty-two. About the same as going with a freshman. Only, the results stand to be, much more, ‘substantial’.

[Disinterested] It’ll never happen.
[He finishes his coffee, leaves it in the sink, and drops a few dabs of Binaca in the back of his mouth as he heads toward the door] If you see him, tell Tino I’m lookin’ for him. [As he pushes the door open, Ms. Kryzenowski enters. She’s confused to see the boys in there, but Jordan breezes past without pause, and Joey, in good humor, says]

JOEY: Catalano, I told you this wasn’t Study Hall.
[Then he too pushes past her.]

- - - - - - - - -

[When the bell rings releasing first period, Jordan’s waiting outside his second period American history class. Once the room has cleared he lopes in and takes a seat, waiting for Angela. He straightens up when she enters the room and sits beside him.]

[Leaning in] How’re you? [She scans the filling room, but no one is paying any attention; she nods to indicate ‘she’s fine’. She puts her feet up on his chair, slumps down in hers, and lays her head in her arms across her desk. He reaches and wraps a hand around her ankle, just barely rubbing her calf beneath her pant leg. She opens her eyes and looks at him as he watches her.]

- - - - - - - - -

[Angela and Jordan are sitting beside each other on the gym
floor leaning against a wall during PE. He sits with his knees up, wrists hanging casually over each knee.
JORDAN: … Did you wait this morning?

[Not a big deal] I looked for you, but I didn’t know if I should. I took the bus.

JORDAN: I spent the night at Lisa’s; couldn’t get there in time. __ What happened when I left?

ANGELA: Nothing. More of the same.

JORDAN: They didn’t seem to take it too bad.

ANGELA: I guess. ___ Have you, told anyone? Other than your sister?
[He shakes his head] Tino?


[She sounds detached though she’s making an effort to maintain some level of animation] You can. I guess. Not that I want everyone to know, but … Sharon’ll know. And Rickie. It’s fair.

JORDAN: Right. ___ Thanks. _________ Are you hating me right now?

[Too earnest to equivocate] Not yet. [She’s heard herself say this and knows she can’t leave it like this; she too lifts her knees, and places her hand atop his, entwining their fingers.] _________ This is almost paralyzing.

- - - - - - - - -

[Jordan pokes his head into the AP’s office; he looks up.]

JORDAN: Oh. Hey.

AP: Hi. Anything going on?


[Shuffles the papers he’d been working through, stacks them and puts them aside] Hey, step in here a second.

JORDAN: What’s up?

[Discreetly punches some buttons on his phone to divert all calls to voicemail] How’re your classes?

[Raps his fingers on the desk] Good.

AP: Good. Any of them interesting?
[Jordan doesn’t respond, AP continues good naturedly] What am I saying? Of course they’re interesting. They’re all interesting. [Jordan halfway makes the effort to crack a smile, but it quickly dissolves] Work’s good?

[A little bored] This gonna take much longer?

AP: Oh, you can go.
[Picks up his stack of papers again] Just thought I’d check in since you were around. [Jordan grips the arm rails of his chair, but doesn’t move to rise … the AP appraises the situation, holding his papers mid air] … Anything you wanna talk about? Anything else going on?

[Takes a lighter from his pocket to fiddle with, but the AP shakes his head and extends his open palm to confiscate it, after a moment Jordan tosses it to him.] I’m gonna be late. [He rises] Later. [As he’s out the door the bell rings, and Jordan pats his hand on the glass window of the AP’s office as he heads down the hall. The AP’s eyes follow him, then he spins in his chair and rifles through a filing cabinet until he pulls out Jordan’s file.]

- - - - - - - - -


[Jordan’s under the bleachers with Shane. Jordan looks mildly freaked out, Shane watches him, thinking about the situation. Jordan pulls out a cigarette, then searches his pockets until he realizes his lighter’s been confiscated. Frustrated, he snaps the cigarette and throws it to the ground.]
[Shane’s been mulling it over] She’s the same person.

JORDAN: I know. I just—

SHANE: Does she hate you? …
[Jordan doesn’t reply] … Look, that girl’s crazy about you. Just, you know, talk to her.

JORDAN: Did I say I wasn’t going to? Did I say that was a problem?
[He exhales in that Catalano way] … This is so messed up. [Shane doesn’t know what to say] I gotta get outta here. [Shane watches Jordan walk away]

- - - - - - - - -

[Angela’s sitting in a doctor’s office waiting room with Patty. Angela’s sitting on her hands, looking around – Parents magazine, Baby magazine, pregnant women, etc. She freaks out a little and scrambles through her backpack to pull out her book, opens to her book mark, reads a few lines and then gives it up. She then begins work on her math homework. Patty looks simultaneously tense as hell, and calmly engaged in her book]
NURSE: Angela?

- - - - - - - - -


[Angela’s in an examination room wearing a paper gown with her green cardigan over it. She’s sitting on the examination table, but gets tired of sitting and waiting, and hops down to make a close inspection of a diagram charting the stages of a fetus’ development. She stares.]
AVO: What is there to say?
[There’s a quick knock and a doctor in her early forties enters the room, Angela turns]
DOCTOR: Hi Angela.
[Angela turns to face the doctor] It’s the end of the world as we know it.

- - - - - - - - -


[Angela, with Danielle, is doing dishes after dinner; Graham and Patty watch her from the dining room pass-through, whispering.]
GRAHAM: So, what do we do?

PATTY: We support her, and help her come to a decision.

GRAHAM: I don’t get why we’re not making the decision. Why aren’t we making the decision? She’s sixteen.

PATTY: Because. Because– What would you decide?
[Graham flicks his hands out, palms up, his mouth opens – he is at a loss for words.] I know. Exactly. If we can’t see a clear solution, how can she?

GRAHAM: That’s my point. Exactly. She can’t do this on her own.
[Patty lifts an eyebrow at that last part.] Is she on her own? How involved is Jordan? [Patty shakes her head.]

PATTY: He was with her last night. __ Shows character.

GRAHAM: Oh; yeah. Besides the fact that I want to kill him, and you can’t get a full sentence out of him if you try, he’s great. The best. Remind me to buy him a beer(!)
[Angela and Danielle turn their heads to see their parents spying on them. Angela just looks, but Danielle clearly thinks they’re crazy.]

DANIELLE: What’re you doing?
[Patty and Graham are charged with the awkward task of making it seem like their actions are completely normal. They come into the kitchen quickly.]

[Upbeat] Girls…

GRAHAM: Thanks for doing the dishes!

DANIELLE: You told us to.

GRAHAM: Oh. Well… Thanks.

DANIELLE: What’s going on? ____ You’ve been weird all day.

ANGELA: I’m going upstairs.

- - - - - - - - -


[Angela’s in her room on the phone with Rickie.]
RICKIE: Wow. ____ Do you want me to come over?

ANGELA: No. That’s okay.

RICKIE: I don’t know what to say… Are you freaking out?

ANGELA: It falls more into the category of shock.

RICKIE: Well, for sure. Can I do anything?


RICKIE: I’m having trouble believing it.

ANGELA: I’m in touch with that emotion.

- - - - - - - - -


[Jordan’s come to the Chase’s back door late at night, Angela is coming down in her robe and quietly opens the door to him.]

[He walks past her and takes a seat in the kitchen; she closes the door behind him and slowly follows him into the kitchen.]

ANGELA: I thought I heard something.

JORDAN: I couldn’t deal.
[Angela comes and sits beside him. She grabs an orange from a bowl on the breakfast table and goes to work peeling it. Without looking at him she offers him a slice, which he refuses by a slight shake of his head. She eats it instead. As she lifts another wedge to her mouth he holds out his hand, she surrenders it to him and then eats another herself. They sit quietly side by side. A clock in the living room chimes.]
* * *

[Time has passed, they’re still sitting quietly.]
[Exhales] Okay.

[He rises, and so she does, he walks towards the hallway and turns back to see her.]

JORDAN: Things are gonna work out…

[Standing by the table, ankles crossed and arms folded] Mm hm. [He nods]

JORDAN: I’ll see you tomorrow.
[She pulls a wisp of hair across her face covering her mouth, nods, and smiles. He crosses back to her, gently kisses her, then slips out of the house.]

- - - - - - - - -
Last edited by Jody Barsch* on May 1st 2010, 1:58 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Jody Barsch*
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Location: Los Angeles

Re: Help developing certain character storylines

Post by Jody Barsch* » Nov 12th 2009, 1:44 am

[Chase kitchen in the morning. Angela is leaning on the tiled counter, head down.]
DANIELLE: Angela. __ Angela. __ Angela!

[Flipping her head up to face her sister.] What, Danielle?

[Indicating the clock] The bus. Geez, what is with you? [Angela pours out her untouched glass of orange juice, and lifts her backpack.] You’re supposed to drink that. [The girls collect their school things and hurry out of the house, Danielle trailing Angela.]

ANGELA: It tasted funny.

DANIELLE: You didn’t eat anything.

ANGELA: I’ll survive.

DANIELLE: You’re not supposed to skip breakfast.

ANGELA: Worse things have happened.
[Front door closes]

- - - - - - - - -


[Jordan and Shane are in the school parking lot leaning against Shane’s car. They see Angela crossing the lot with Sharon and a few other girls.]
SHANE: She looks good.

JVO: She does. She does look good.

SHANE: Smiling.


SHANE: She doesn’t look like she’ll throw herself off a building or anything.

JORDAN: Well, then everything’s great.

SHANE: You know, I’m just saying…

JVO: This is the worst mistake I’ve ever made. What the hell are we going to do now? ___ She’s sixteen. … She’s never going to forgive me. __ I should have just left it as it was after Rayanne. ______ I can’t say the wrong thing. I can’t mess this up worse. __ Angela. ___ Why did this— It could have been so many other things to go wrong. It didn’t have to be this. I have to be ready. If she wants to have it, to keep, I have to be ready for that. S**t. I am not ready for that. ____ She’s pregnant. … Pull yourself backtogether. You need to be someone who can be counted on. You need to be there, for real, listening, and talking, and doing things, or you need to not be there at all. If you do that, it’ll be the worse thing you’ve ever done. You’ll be worse than him. And she’ll know… It was a mistake; being with me was a mistake.

SHANE: Catalano. Cat.
[Jordan redirects his attention to Shane.] How does it feel?


SHANE: You know, the fact of it. I get that it’s all very very s**tty, but, you know … Your pretty prepster girlfriend’s walking around school with your kid. Is it hot? Do you feel, satisfied?
[Jordan looks at him, shakes his head solemnly and heads off to catch up with Angela.]

- - - - - - - - -


[Later that day, still at school, Angela and Jordan are out on the fire escape on which Rayanne hides out in “On the Wagon”.]
ANGELA: What do you think about abortion?
[Jordan doesn’t say anything] Do you think it’s wrong?

[Hesitantly] No.

ANGELA: Do you think that’s what I should do?

JORDAN: I don’t know. _________ Adoption?

ANGELA: I don’t know.
[They each look away. The bell rings, through the windows the halls empty out. They make no move to go to class. There’s a rap on the window.]

ASSISTANT PRINICPAL: Inside please. Get to class. __ Jordan. Angela.
[Angela’s slightly surprised she’s known by name to the AP. Jordan moves aside for her to crawl through first, grabs her bag, and follows after her back into the hallway.] How we doing? [He inspects their expressions, not really expecting to get an answer, but definitely detecting that something’s not right.]

JORDAN: Excellent.
[He hands Angela her backpack then takes her hand as he moves down the hallway to her next class.]

- - - - - - - - -


[Angela and Sharon are walking home from school. Angela is holding onto her backpack straps as they walk. From time to time the girls stop walking when the conversation demands it.]
SHARON: Does Jordan know?


SHARON: What’d he say? I’m sorry, what am I saying? Are you alright? Of course you’re not alright. I’m so sorry. Angela — what can I do?

ANGELA: People keep asking me that, but, I don’t know what I should be doing.

SHARON: Yeah … You’re not going to keep it? Are you?

[There’s a slight pause, Angela looks over at her] I really don’t know yet. I can’t see that though.

SHARON: Angela. What about college? What about— Angela, you know I’m not the biggest fan of Jordan’s, but even you can see that having a baby with Jordan Catalano isn’t—
[She stops herself, tilts her head] This is isn’t helping? [Angela shakes her head] This, isn’t, why you told me.

ANGELA: I told you, because, this is what’s happening. In actuality.

SHARON: Yeah. ___ Scary.

ANGELA: If I wasn’t so full of regret, I’d be terrified.

SHARON: … So, how is Jordan taking it?

[Dryly] He’s super excited.

SHARON: He’s not being a jerk?
[Angela shakes her head]

- - - - - - - - -


[In the back parking lot of Louie’s, leaning back against a wall, Jordan and his buddies stand around hanging out – Jordan is not doing that great. He’s squatting and holding his head in his hands.]
SHANE: Man, it’ll be cool. Don’t sweat it.

JORDAN: No, it’s not cool.
[Jordan slams something]

SHANE: Talk to her.
[Much lowered voice, leaning in.] Look, there’s still a long way to go ‘til you’re your old man.

JORDAN: But this is where it starts.
[Shane takes a bottle from Jordan’s hand, just as he’s going to take another swig]

SHANE: Then cut yourself off, and stop being pissed.

FRIEND 1: Zen, Catalano. Be Zen.

SHANE: Right. Chill out.

CHICK: Hey Jordan.
[Jordan scowls]

FRIEND 2: Move along Baby, he’s off the market.

CHICK: I just—

FRIEND 1: Listen, does he look like he’s going to give you the time of day? Does he look like he’s going to give you anything? Keep walking.
[She flips them off and then reenters the building]

FRIEND 2: Look’a that Cat. You’re cracking up and still in high demand. _ Just some perspective.

JORDAN: This is nuts.
[Lisa pulls up in her car. She’s not sure that Jordan’s even there, but she gave it a try, and she spots him before she’s parked.]

FRIEND 1: Lisa!

[Looking only at Jordan] I haven’t heard from you.

JORDAN: Nuthin’ to say.

LISA: Well, I drove almost 40 minutes to get here, so say something.
[She sees the alcohol and can tell he’s been drinking] This is what you’ve been doing since I saw you? ____ Come to dinner. [He shakes his head] Come eat dinner and spend some time with me. __ You’re not a wallower. And this, is not a problem solver. Get up.

- - - - - - - - -


[Later that day, (or the next, or possibly a few days later), Angela and Brian are sitting on his front porch.]
ANGELA: Brian. I don’t know how to… This is weird, but… I didn’t want you to hear from someone— ‘Cuz that’s always what happens, and… ____ I’m pregnant.
[He swallows.] Yeah.

[Dumbfounded. He doesn’t know what to say. His mind churns through a hundred different reactions.] How do you feel about that?

ANGELA: You don’t have to congratulate me. I don’t feel particularly proud.
[Head down, but looking up across to him] So, no lecture on precaution and responsibility?

BRIAN: Would that change anything?

ANGELA: If only.

BRIAN: … I don’t think you’re stupid. (He might be.)
[He smiles to break the ice and the clarify that he hadn’t meant anything severe by it.] Look, Angela, nobody knows more than me what it feels like to make a mistake, or to have regrets. Not the same situation, I know. But… I know there isn’t anything, I can do… But...

[Making an effort to smile] Thanks. I better get back. (Homework.) I can’t really afford to get behind.

[Nodding] Okay. [She crosses the street, he calls after her] Angela— [She turns] I’m, you know -- I’m around. If… [Pressing her lips together, she nods, then smiles, then turns slowly on her heel and continues up her front steps, he watches, but makes himself look away before too long.]

- - - - - - - - -


[In the tutoring room the following day, Brian waits, and then Jordan enters, and sits across from Brian.]


[Shakes his head] Just didn’t expect you to really show up.


BRIAN: I know. You didn’t think I wouldn’t know, did you? That everybody won’t soon know? I know.

JORDAN: Good for you.
[Looks him squarely in the eyes] So that you ‘know’, she’s the one who doesn’t want people to know. So…

BRIAN: What are you going to do?

JORDAN: Don’t act like you— This isn’t about you. You don’t know anything about this.

BRIAN: I know it’s not hard to avoid this.

JORDAN: Yeah, it’s not hard. But something still went wrong.
[Brian opens his mouth to say more] Krakow, I swear to God, another word and I’m taking a swing.

[Settled, but stern] I’ll hit you back.

[Jordan thinks over everything running through his mind... He comes up with:] Are we going to do this? [Referring to the school work] ‘Cuz I’ve got other things I should be doing. [Brian has to think about this for a long moment, then grudgingly slides Jordan’s notebook from across the desk and begins to study what they should be working on.] Good.

- - - - - - - - -


[(That day, or days later…) Jordan and his buddies are in their math class, sitting in the back. They’re mumbling, talking and joking. Jordan is chuckling some, but then lowers his head on the desk, listens for a little while longer, and then falls asleep. His buddies begin talking about him.]
FRIEND 1: Did you know he was sleeping with her?

FRIEND 2: Yeah.

FRIEND 1: You did?

FRIEND 3: Well yeah. They’ve been together forever. Relatively. She’s nuts about him.

FRIEND 2: And, he told me.

FRIEND 1: He did not. What’d he say?

FRIEND 2: Not to give you any details. He didn’t say anything – broad strokes only.

FRIEND 1: Didn’t think she would. Didn’t think she was the type.

FRIEND 3: That’s the power of Catalano.

FRIEND 1: A little too powerful.

FRIEND 2: Yeah.

FRIEND 3: Sucks.

FRIEND 2: Yeah.

FRIEND 1: Will she keep it?

[Shrugs] Jordan? A dad? [A nearby student’s listening in on their conversation] What’re you lookin’ at? Are we talking to you? [Friend 1 kicks the person’s desk]

FRIEND 1: Turn around.

FRIEND 2: Get a life.
[The person has long since turned around and is mortified, trying to ignore the negative attention, but can’t really do anything about it.]

[Gets up and leans in on the person’s desk] You didn’t hear anything. [Rickie, who’s sitting on the other side of the classroom, quietly observes the interaction. The desk-kicking had jostled Jordan awake, and groggily, he raises his head, kind of looks around, then lays his head back down again. The friends watch him...]

[Scoffs] Yeah. She’s not going to keep it.

- - - - - - - - -


[A few days later. Angela and Jordan sit on a log by a river bank, his car parked close by. It’s a pretty day, warm and bright. She’s driving her bare feet into the mud as she mulls something over – she pauses for emphasis, but doesn’t look up from her endeavor.]

ANGELA: We’re not keeping it – we’re not keeping it to raise for ourselves.

[Digging a twig into the wet earth at his feet] You don’t want to do that?

ANGELA: We can’t do that. We’re not ready for that. We are nowhere near ready for that.
[To cover her bases she adds] And we’re not staying together because of an unplanned pregnancy.

[Skipping over the reference to their relationship] Should we talk about it? Just to be sure?

ANGELA: Is keeping it something you want? Is that what you’ve been thinking?

JORDAN: To be honest – I don’t think so.
[More honest] No. But I don’t think we should discount any decision without thinking it over.

ANGELA: Don’t think that I haven’t considered it. I’ve considered everything; to the infinity. Please don’t think that I’m taking this lightly.

JORDAN: I didn’t mean it like that.
[Adding, as an after-thought] I know you’re not. [He rises and absently paces a few steps now and then.]

ANGELA: Well, okay… So… if we did keep it, how would that work? Where would we live? Where would the baby live? Would we live together? What about school? I can’t see you living with my family. ___ Not that I think you’re saying you want to live with my family.
[She looks up at him in a panic] Am I totally freaking you out?

[Shrugs] You’re thinking out loud. It’s okay. [Chucks a stone across the river] The situation kinda merits a freak out.

ANGELA: Okay... So then, continuing… Your place…

[Not turning away from the river] Not around my dad.

ANGELA: Right. ____ An apartment seems unlikely… ___ Anyway, I really don’t think that we should keep it. Reluctant, forced parenthood doesn’t sound like a good solution.

[Turning back] Right.

ANGELA: Right?

JORDAN: Yeah. But,
[picks up another rock from the embankment] it’s our kid; it’s us.

ANGELA: We’re us. It’s a bunch of dividing cells.

JORDAN: You might change your mind about that.

ANGELA: Not so much that I’m realistically going to keep it, to raise.

JORDAN: The baby.

ANGELA: You don’t need to keep making that distinction.
[They’re quiet for a long time. Angela, who, by this point is sitting, absently tears at the grass at her feet, strand by strand, then holds one tight between her thumbs, continuously snapping it taut. Jordan paces a bit more, scratching the back of his head. He lightly kicks the trunk of a nearby tree with the ball of his foot and then turns back to speak his mind.]

JORDAN: You’re still angry, and so you’re trying to distance yourself from this. But,
[Considering his phrasing] eventually you’ll feel differently. And I don’t think you want to make these big decisions on immediate reactions.

ANGELA: You think I’m going to get all emotional and decide to become a teenaged mother.

[Sitting beside her again] I think you’re not always going to be as angry about it as you are right now. That could change things for you.

- - - - - - - - -


[Rickie and Rayanne are rifling through the aisles of a cramped vintage clothing shop. Occasionally as they speak, they pull items out, hold them up, make evaluative expressions, etc. ]
RAYANNE: So, has she, taken care of it yet?

RICKIE: I don’t know if that’s, I mean, I haven’t heard that that’s the plan. Or if there is a plan, yet.

RAYANNE: Excuse me?

RICKIE: I mean, I don’t know, she hasn’t talked to me about that, part of it.

RAYANNE: What other part is there? Really. What is she thinking? Angela Chase, cannot have Jordan Catalano’s kid. That is, just, not how the universe works. Why isn’t Patty-Cake putting the kibosh all over this?
[Rickie doesn’t know what to tell her] Tino’s still sticking to his whole separation policy for Catalano and me; it’s a shock he even told me it happened.

RICKIE: He hasn’t said what Jordan’s thinking?

RAYANNE: Not a word.

RICKIE: So, you think she should… ?

RAYANNE: Absolutely. Angela needs to be away from Patty, and to actually live a life before she can be a mother. And, she’s too… moony, for the other.
[Holds out a 60’s sheath dress] For Travis?

RICKIE: He doesn’t have the legs.
[She makes a face and then proceeds to pull it on over her clothes, and then steps out of her jeans, turning to show off the dress]

RAYANNE: That’s all the support I get for working at this whole straight-and-narrow thing? A cross-dressing-boyfriend crack?

[Sweeping her messy hair up and standing behind her in the mirror in order to really form an opinion on the dress]Boyfriend.

RAYANNE: Shut up; so what? _ You can’t be the champion of normalcy and domesticity Vasquez, and then throw it in my face when I oblige.

[Trying on a vest or newsboy cap] I’m not throwing anything in your face. You know I’m proud of you. [About the dress] You’d need heels.

RAYANNE: Forget it then.
[She peels the dress off, and Rickie throws something over her as she’d neglected to step back into her jeans before pulling the dress off.] I know even you’re not that big of a prude. [She’s dressed] Satisfied? [Starting down another aisle, not looking behind her as she speaks to him] Adam doesn’t mind your puritanical streak?

[He says it as a playful gibe] You could probably pull the dress of with boots, if you were taller. [Rayanne turns to make a face, and continues walking backwards until she bumps into someone; she turns, and both she and Rickie face a very pregnant hippie girl in her early to mid twenties. They stop.]

- - - - - - - - -


[Angela’s bedroom at night. Angela lies awake staring towards her window. Her room brightens just slightly as a car outside flashes its headlights. Then once more. She waits. Momentarily there’s a small clink against her window. She’s lays still for just a moment longer, hugging her pillow underneath her head, then rises, pulls on her robe, and creeps downstairs to the back door. She unlocks it and holds it open for Jordan to slip pass. ]
* * *

[Angela and Jordan sit across from one another in the Chase living room. He is seated at the sofa, and she is on the floor on the other side of the coffee table. The room is lit by single dim lamp; they are playing dominoes. Jordan makes a move.]
JORDAN: I can’t sleep.
[She makes a play]

ANGELA: ____ I know. I’m exhausted. ___ But I can’t stay asleep. ____ Fifteen.

JORDAN: You just say ‘three’. It’s three points.

ANGELA: That’s not how I play.

JORDAN: Shhhhh…
[They freeze and listen. When they hear nothing more they resume their game and Jordan makes a play.] If only Demitri’d come over and lecture; I’d sleep for sure. [Angela chuckles. Just then the lights flash on. They both freeze and look up the stairs towards the light.]

[In a sharp whisper] What is going on? Angela?


PATTY: Angela – What is this? It’s one in the morning.

[Still upstairs – calling out low enough not to wake anyone still asleep, but loud enough to be heard below] Patty?

PATTY: This— This is unacceptable. This is a violation of trust. __ Angela. You do not have free reign of this house. Jordan, you can’t be here. __ How are we supposed to trust you?
[Angela and Jordan look tired and spent. They are solemn and for the moment appear quite young. Patty sighs. (She might look around for signs that they’ve done anything more than play a board game.) She continues, calmer and more pragmatic.] How long has this been going on? [They look up, unwilling to give a number but acknowledging that this is not a one-time occurrence. Patty sighs again, and takes a seat on the sofa. She’s at a sort of loss as to what to say or how she should react.] Listen – I know the situation is not the norm, but, your father – Graham – and I can’t look the other way and treat you like adults. What you’re going through is hard, and lonely, I suspect. We understand that. But this cannot continue. __ Do you hear me?

[Nodding] Yes. [Patty looks to Jordan]


[To Angela] I need to know where you are. [To Jordan] And where you’re not. [She gives them a look with widened eyes to emphasize her point and to check that they’ve received the message. Satisfied, she rises, pulling her robe close to her at the collar.] You have ten minutes. [To Angela] In eleven I want you in bed. __ [Partially joking] Alone. [Patty ascends the stairs] Goodnight. [Left alone, Angela exhales. She and Jordan look at one another – they’ve been discovered and their late-night commiserations have been stymied.]

- - - - - - - - -
Last edited by Jody Barsch* on May 1st 2010, 2:42 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Jody Barsch*
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Location: Los Angeles

Re: Help developing certain character storylines

Post by Jody Barsch* » Nov 12th 2009, 2:02 am

[A day or several later, Angela, Jordan, Ben, and Lisa are sitting around Lisa and Ben’s kitchen table, or maybe at the coffee table, eating a delicious dinner. They’re laughing at something that was said, but not freely; it is somewhat reserved.]
[Taking a sip of her red wine, Lisa eyes Jordan to read if he wants her to stop] Okay, to, broach the subject…

ANGELA: You know.

LISA: Yes.

BEN: We’re really sorry. We know it’s a hard position to be in, and—

LISA: We just wanted to reach out and offer whatever help we can.

[Sober] Thank you.

LISA: ’Cuz, I was on my own at sixteen; I know what it’s like.


LISA: I just --
[Looking around] I thought that maybe– [She changes tack] I’ve got friends; I don’t know if you know anyone else who’s been there... I wanted to put it out there, in case – If you wanted someone to talk to, about any of it.

ANGELA: … Thanks. …

BEN: Jordan says you told your folks.
[Angela nods]


LISA: And that was okay? ____ We talked about it;
[She’s not making a big deal of the offer, she’s casual and down plays it, at no point is she sentimental or saccharine and if you need it -- now, or later -- if you need a place to stay, you can come here.

ANGELA: I’m okay. Thank you. My parents aren’t thrilled, but, it’s okay.

LISA: You’re lucky. [/b][Angela knows this wasn’t said facetiously and so she has to stop and think about this statement. Jordan drinks his beer.]

BEN: We don’t have to talk about it.

ANGELA: It’s okay. I just, I don’t know what to do, yet.

LISA: Sure.

ANGELA: Thank you though.

[Brighter, lifting the mood, speaking to no one in particular] More?

* * *


[Back in his car but still parked on Lisa’s street.]
JORDAN: Was that not at all helpful?

ANGELA: Helpful? It was nice.
[Wanting him to really understand] My parents aren’t going to kick me out.

JORDAN: I know. She just thought… That’s her experience.

[Angela leans against the dashboard, exhaling in frustration] Ahhh [Jordan looks at her, and she shifts just slightly so that she can see him as she speaks] I just keep thinking that whatever decision I make now is based on what I want for my sixteen-year-old life, [lifting herself up; fiddling with the glove compartment handle] but that as I grow older— [He reaches over and gently touches her hand to get her to stop messing with his car. Hands now unoccupied, Angela sets them uncomfortably in her lap and continues] Like, having a kid now seems, crazy. Not possible. But, seven years from now…

JORDAN: You’ll be, what? Twenty-three. Would you want a six-year-old?

ANGELA: Maybe… People do it.

JORDAN: They do.

[Shaking the thought from her head] What I’m saying is, in six, seven, years, maybe it wouldn’t be as big a deal to have been pregnant, to have had a child …

JORDAN: Meaning, what? Adoption?

ANGELA: Maybe. __ What do you think about that?

JORDAN: Adoption? I don’t know. It’s kind of hard to tell how that’ll turn out. You can’t guarantee what that’d be like.

ANGELA: They have thorough screenings, don’t they? Agencies and whatnot?

JORDAN: I guess, but, look at the foster system. They allegedly screen that. Not everyone is a good parent.

ANGELA: I think you can interview them; get to know them some.

JORDAN: Okay. But, my old man seems okay enough on paper; even he can make a good impression if he wants to.

ANGELA: I haven’t found that to be true.
[He looks at her] ___ So, you’re against it? You don’t want to consider it as an option?

JORDAN: It’s just, something to think about. __ I’m not gonna rule out anything you want to consider.

ANGELA: Are you saying this is all my decision?

JORDAN: No. Not ‘all’, if you don’t want it. But, mostly, yeah.

ANGELA: ______ I asked you once about what you would do if this ever happened.

JORDAN: I know.

ANGELA: What did we come up with?
[Jordan shakes his head]

JORDAN: Being careful?

ANGELA: Oh. Good. Good job us. ___
[Defeated] It’s too much.

JORDAN: ______ We’ll figure it out.

ANGELA: Are you scared?

[Jordan shuts his eyes, then turns his head and looks at her.] It’s going to be okay. ______ [He studies her profile, gazing at her intently. He brushes hair away from her face] I’m sorry. [She softens a bit and he continues to stroke her face, her neck. He moves in closer, lips brushing over her ear, following her jaw line, grazing her neck; slowly she turns towards him, her eyes meet his for just a moment before he moves in for a kiss. She returns the kiss and it quickly progresses… Jordan breaks away and quickly drives down the street.]

* * *

[Jordan pulls over on a dark and empty street. He lunges in for a kiss, and she melts into him …]
JORDAN: Come here--
* * *

[Jordan and Angela are in the backseat… As her last shudders cease she begins to sob, first silently and then violently. He holds her face, presses his to hers, she cannot be soothed. He rolls over and pulls her into his arms. She continues to sob and he does what he can to console her.]
JORDAN: It’s okay. … It’s okay. … It’s okay. … It’ll be okay. [color]
[He can’t calm her down and he pulls her in tighter and buries his face in her hair.]

- - - - - - - - -


[Saturday afternoon, Angela’s submerged in a bathtub soaking, staring off into space. Danielle’s knocking.]
DANLIELLE: Angela! You’ve been in there forever! Angela!

[Very quietly] Go away.

DANLIELLE: You don’t own the bathroom.

ANGELA: Danielle. Go away.
[Danielle slaps the door]

[Grumbling as she walks away] I’m so glad I’m not a manic depressive, like some people. [Angela sighs and submerges herself completely under water.]

- - - - - - - - -


[A little later that afternoon, Danielle opens the front door, sees Rayanne, and turns to shout up the stairs.]
DANLIELLE: ANGELA! _____ Haven’t seen you in a while.

RAYANNE: I’ve missed that winning charm Shorty.
[Danielle rolls her eyes as Angela comes up behind her and opens the door wider to see who is there. When she sees that it’s Rayanne, she stops, and stares blankly. Daniele huffs and turns away on her heel. Rayanne’s a little nervous, but determined.] Look, I get that you weren’t with him at the time. I get that I owed you something that he didn’t, and so it was bigger than just the deed itself – but that was forever ago. Can you forgive me so that we can talk about this?

ANGELA: Who told you?

RAYANNE: Who didn’t? Tino, Sharon, Rickie.
[Angela scratches her head, then walks out onto the porch.]

ANGELA: I don’t have anything to say about it.

RAYANNE: Then can we sit? And not talk about it?
[Eventually Angela sits and Rayanne follows.] … I like your hair like that. It suits you. Very you.

ANGELA: I’m not sure you know who that is. _ It was forever ago.

RAYANNE: I know exactly who you are. ____ I’ll bet you’re trying to convince yourself to keep it.

ANGELA: ________ Would you?

[Shakes her head, purses her lips to the side] I don’t know. But, it’s not the same, me and you. ___ You on lockdown? [She looks back at the house, Angela shakes her head.]

ANGELA: They’re trying to cope.

RAYANNE: Must have had an embolism at first though?

ANGELA: Yes. And no.

RAYANNE: Very Chase. ___ Miss you.

ANGELA: Listen, Sharon’s been calling and calling, but, I just don’t want to talk about it. Until, a decision’s made.

[Nodding, not skipping a beat after the ignored “miss you”] Okay. Anything else?

[Shakes her head] No. ____ Walk with you to the bus stop?

[Small smile, this gesture is more than she’d expected] Sure.

- - - - - - - - -


[Later that night (or a few nights later). Angela and Jordan are in a diner. They’re both eating eggs, outside the sky is dark. Jordan’s coffee cup is empty; he’s halfway through his meal, but Angela is more picking at her food than eating it. She lifts a bite with her fork, brings it to her mouth, but instead of eating, she speaks.]
ANGELA: I’ve decided on adoption.

JORDAN: … Okay.

ANGELA: Any input?

[Puts down his fork] I’ve given my input. I back your decision.

ANGELA: You don’t secretly wish you were backing an alternate decision?

JORDAN: No. Not if this is what you want.

ANGELA: What I want, is to not be making this decision. To not be pregnant. ___
[She clarifies as she sees that this could be misinterpreted] To never have been.

JORDAN: Second to that?

ANGELA: I think that adoption is the choice. ___ The other just seems… selfish?
[He reacts silently to this, but continues their conversation.]

JORDAN: Told your parents?

ANGELA: In the morning I will.
[She pushes her plate away from her, and rests her head in her arms folded across the table. Jordan lifts his cup to his lips only to remember it’s empty. He sets it down and looks around the diner. Angela’s voice is muffled as she voices an afterthought.] It smells in here.
* * *

[A little while later in the diner’s parking lot, Jordan opens the car door for Angela and then walks behind the car to the driver’s side. As he does he speaks.]
JORDAN: Love you.
[It isn’t sentimental, and it isn’t said in a ‘Let’s stop and take note of this moment’ kind of way. It’s also not said quite at full volume.]

[Angela, who had been getting into the car straightens back up and looks across the car roof at him. She’s not pissed, but stern and even-toned.] That’s an awful choice for the first time you say those words. [This surprises him because he doesn’t think he’s said it as a consolation. He is out of his depth and trying to figure out how to navigate through everything; trying not to get angry out of frustration. Jordan has been working very hard through this whole thing to stay very even-keeled.]

JORDAN: I don’t know what to say, to you. ___ Look, I’m sorry.

ANGELA: Maybe it’s not fair; but, “I love you,” right now, after what we just decided – it’s…
[She’s searching for a word that won’t come off too harsh] It doesn’t feel right. ______ I don’t want to be loved. [She gets into the car (he does as well)] I want to have been smarter. [She doesn’t quite slam the car door, but its sound has the right amount of impact to punctuate her statement.]

[For more than just the ill-timed ‘I love you.’] I’m sorry.

[Weary, but also in earnest] You don’t have to apologize. __ I’m not going to apologize. [He starts the car and shifts into gear]


- - - - - - - - -


[Outside the Chase home, Jordan’s brought Angela home. Having been sitting there a while, Angela’s about to get out of Jordan’s car; she opens the door, pauses, looks back at him, then resettles into her seat and shuts the door. Jordan waits expectantly for whatever it was that compelled her to stay.]
ANGELA: Have you told your father?


ANGELA: Are you going to? At some point?

[Eyes narrowed, he looks over at her, how to explain...] Angela, I don’t have the same relationship with him that you have with your parents. I don’t mean just closeness. He doesn’t really even support me; I pay for everything I have – practically. Listen, I sleep there, park my car there, but that’s really it. I don’t owe him details.

ANGELA: But this isn’t a detail. This is—

JORDAN: What would telling him accomplish? __ Would it help at all? _____ I’m not keeping it a secret – I told the people who matter. __ Right?


JORDAN: I’ll tell him, if it really matters [to you], but, I don’t want that. And not in the way you didn’t want to tell your parents.

[Clarifying] It’s fine. [Re-clarifying] Keep him in the dark.

JORDAN: ____
[Pulling a stick of gum that had been tucked in the driver’s side sun visor, Jordan plays with it, but doesn’t put it in his mouth] You’re parents are handling this really well. [Jordan bends to look through the windshield at the house.] But, guess, seeing you later is out. That’s over…

[Angela confirms this, and responds to his first remark] My mother’s freaking over whether to tell my grandparents.

JORDAN: ‘Cuz that’s going to help

[Mocking] This is a family of communication. Honesty. Forthrightness.

JORDAN: Terrific.

[In the same sober tone she’s used the entire conversation] Okay. Goodnight.

JORDAN: ‘Night.

[She moves to get out again, but again she pauses, but keeps the door ajar this time.] I didn’t mean to waylay you.

[Jordan squints slightly – he doesn’t know this word, but he understands her meaning] It’s cool. You didn’t.


- - - - - - - - -


[Jordan and Shane are sitting alone in the loft. Shane’s at the drums (at different points throughout their conversation he might be air-drumming over them); Jordan’s sprawled on a chair or sofa.]
SHANE: She’s still…



JORDAN: So… What?

SHANE: What’s going to happen?

JORDAN: Nuthin’. Nuthin’s gonna happen. She’ll have the –

SHANE: Baby –

[Shifts his eyes towards his friend, then sighs and continues] Yeah. Then, it will be over.

SHANE: Simple.

JORDAN: Uh huh.

SHANE: So what now?

[Chucking a button he’s absently pulled loose from his shirt] I dunno. __ Look, don’t uh, don’t te—

SHANE: Catalano. I got it.
[Jordan sighs and hangs his head] People are gonna– If she stays in school, people are gonna know. What’s she gonna—

JORDAN: I don’t know.

SHANE: Man, of all the girls…

JORDAN: Don’t. … What does that even mean?

SHANE: I’m just saying, of all the girls to get… Angela Cha—

[Exhausted] It’s not her fault.

SHANE: Yeah, Man. That’s not what I’m saying. Not at all. It’s just, it’s sad. (Or something.)

JORDAN: I need a drink.

SHANE: I hear that.

[Straightening up] Look, just– Try not– It’s not a secret. But– [Catalano hand gesture] She’s concerned.

SHANE: Yeah, I got it. But, that’s not going to stop people from talking.

JORDAN: I know.

SHANE: It just sucks that it’s her.
[He absently drums a short beat. Jordan scowls – he isn’t clear why this distinction is being made. Is it a dig?] I just mean… It sucks. [Final strike at the drum]

JORDAN: I know it sucks. She knows it sucks. Her parents know it sucks. The kid across the street knows it sucks.

SHANE: Ohhhh! I forgot about Krakow! Man, watch out!

JORDAN: Shut up.
[Jordan still sounds weary]

SHANE: I’m not kidding. That kid’ll die trying to get at you.

* * *

[Time has passed, and now the loft is filled with people. It’s party-like, but not full-blown. It’s mostly just people hanging out. Jordan’s sitting with a friend messing around on his acoustic guitar, not really paying attention to everything around him. When the friend gets up and Cynthia Hargrove spots Jordan alone, she crosses the room to address him.]
CYNTHIA: Catalano.
[He nods an acknowledgement, she leans against a nearby chair] I heard a story about you. [He doesn’t respond] Several times today. … Is it true? Because, there’ve been rumors about the two of you before, and they turned out to be wrong … [Reading him] But this time it’s true... [Jordan blinks very slowly.] That’s not cool. ___ I watched her run away from you that night at the house; scared.

JORDAN: That was a long time ago.

CYNTHIA: Yeah. And why’d you break up that time? __ And now, she’s pregnant, and what? Sixteen? ___ So, a dad… Are you super excited?

JORDAN: What’du’ya want?

CYNTHIA: What are you going to do?
[She’s raised an eyebrow, her tone is conversational more than confrontational] Are you going to be an ass about it?

JORDAN: What’s it to you?

CYNTHIA: Just making sure she has someone on her side.

JORDAN: There’re no sides. __ Since when do you care about Angela?

CYNTHIA: I care about guys who use girls and treat them like trash.
[Again, she’s not exactly accusing him, it’s more like she’s doing due diligences]

JORDAN: Well, that’s not the situation.

CYNTHIA: I always wonder about you.

JORDAN: Yeah? How?
[He doesn’t exactly care. He’s messing with the tuning heads, just to have something to do.]

CYNTHIA: You’ve always had a very odd code of Catalano conduct. …
[Reverting to an earlier thought] When the kid’s her age, she’ll only be thirty-two. … I’ll bet she was two when her mother was that age. _ She was probably hoping to double the entire time she’s been alive before becoming a mother.

JORDAN: What is your problem, Cynthia?

[Shaking her head] You’re a train wreck.

JORDAN: Back off.

CYNTHIA: Look, no one calls you on any of this.

JORDAN: Yeah? What’s it to you?

[She’s keeping this friendly, she smiles it, does not sneer it] Absolutely nothing; self-destruct.

[A friend of Jordan’s approaches, wraps his arm around Cynthia’s shoulder and interjects] Hargrove, lay off. Our guy’s fragile.

CYNTHIA: Nothing about her
[This is more an observation than an outright comment]

CYNTHIA: This is all about him?

FRIEND: No one said that. It’s cool Baby, be a feminist.

CYNTHIA: Hopeless.

GUY: Cynthia!
[Jordan raises his eyes to see who’s calling her. She ignores the guy, knowing he’ll be waiting when she’s ready.]

CYNTHIA: Jordan.

FRIEND: He’s got it. Believe me, he’s got it.
[Jordan sighs, and gets up and walks away]

- - - - - - - - -
Last edited by Jody Barsch* on May 1st 2010, 3:51 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Help developing certain character storylines

Post by Jody Barsch* » Nov 12th 2009, 2:11 am

[Loafing in the school hallway, Shane spots Angela and hurries to walk with her.]
SHANE: Hey, Angela.

[A little thrown] Oh, hey.

SHANE: How’ya doin’?

ANGELA: Uh, you know. Fine.

[Leaning in slightly, briefly creating a more intimate space between them] We’re rootin’ for you.

ANGELA: I’m not dying.

SHANE: Yeah. Yeah.

[Wondering why he’s still walking with her, she strains to carry on the awkward conversation] How are you?

SHANE: Well.
[The correctness of his grammar, and the way in which he says it catches her off guard and she smiles, containing a small ‘hmph’ of laughter. Progressing down the hallway, somebody looks at Angela – it’s not definite that it has anything to do with the pregnancy or that anyone out of the loop knows about it – Shane does that one-step lunge forward thing to intimidate them.] What are you looking at? [Angela looks down and hurries her pace. Shane, thinking nothing of it catches up.] You know, I used to think you were weird.

[Wanting out of the conversation] Oh yeah?

SHANE: I think it was the hair. Or that you hung out with Rayanne Graff.

ANGELA: Don’t you hang out with Rayanne Graff?

[Shrugs. He inspects her for half a second, then continues looking ahead] I like the blonde.

[She finally just stops walking and turns to him] I don’t get it; are you hitting on me?

SHANE: No. No.
[She’s still confused and mildly irked, but she continues walking] I just, I don’t think we ever-- I don’t think we ever gave you a fair shot. Or, made you feel like we did.


SHANE: And, it just seemed time to make that right.

[Really just saying it] Thanks.

SHANE: No sweat.
[She’s waiting for him to stop trailing her] So, no hard feelings?

ANGELA: No. None.

GUY IN HALLWAY (Maybe the guy from the Pilot who watches Angela): Chase– Wanna do me?
[Directing the second portion more to anyone who’s listening, although it’s clearly meant to be heard by Angela] I love a girl who’s game for ski— [Angela doesn’t have time to react; Shane has already swung and punched the guy across the face. As it’s caught him by surprise, the blow knocks the guy down. Shane goes to kick him but Angela pulls him back.]

[Shane instead spits on him]

SHANE: Punk!
[He does another psych-out stomp of intimidation. Angela’s horrified, but more stunned; ‘Did that really happen?’]

- - - - - - - - -


[Same day. Angela’s in class, Jordan and Shane walk down the hall and stick their heads in to see if they can find her. Someone nudges her and she looks up. With a head jerk, the person points towards the door where she sees Shane and Jordan gawking in. Jordan mouths “Okay?” She nods, annoyed that they are there, at the whole situation, and anxious for them to leave. Jordan continues, “What happened?” Angela points to Shane with her pen “He was there”. Shane brandishes his muscles like a weapon, very proud of himself. Angela widens her eyes and indicates with her hands, turning them palms up from the wrist, that this is crazy. Jordan gets that she’s fine, wants to be left alone and doesn’t need her own personal SWAT team. He puts his hand on Shane’s shoulder to say they should move on, when FOSTER comes up behind them.]
FOSTER: Mr. Catalano. Mr. Trudenowski. I don’t remember you being so anxious to take economics when you were enrolled in it.
[Now Angela's teacher’s aware of the scene in the doorway] Walk with me gentlemen; say goodbye to the class. [Jordan gives Angela a head nod, Shane does a quick hand flip wave from the wrist] Heard anything about a fight in my hallway?

- - - - - - - - -


[Angela gets called into the office; Jordan is sitting outside Foster’s door, but as she gets called in immediately, she doesn’t have time to speak with him. She does give him a look with exaggerated wide eyes to punctuate how not okay she is with the situation. Jordan doesn't look very concerned.]
FOSTER: Hello Angela.
ANGELA: Hello…
[Still relatively upbeat] I heard there was a fight you might have seen today in the halls.
ANGELA: Mm hm.
FOSTER: I’m sorry?
FOSTER: Do you know between whom?
FOSTER: Yes? Do you know their names?
ANGELA: Uh, Shane. Trudenowski. And um, Aaron Osten.
FOSTER: Do you know what it was about.
ANGELA: It happened really quickly.
FOSTER: I heard. But do you know why it happened? ___ I heard a comment was made? ___ A comment, perhaps, perhaps not, directed towards you. … __________ Angela, I’m going to call your parents.
ANGELA: They know. My parents know. I don’t know how Aaron Osten knows, or how you know, but I told my parents.____ Can I go? ___ I didn’t start the fight; I didn’t encourage it, I tried to stop it. I don’t have any reason to think there will be more. __ I’m not even friends with Shane.
FOSTER: But your boyfriend is.
[She’s irritated; in a lowered tone] Not that that’s your business. Where’s the administration when innocent kids are attacked in the halls?
FOSTER: Excuse me? __ Are you, talking about yourself?
ANGELA: No. I’m not. Real kids -- good kids, are routinely harassed, on this campus, and this is what you choose to follow up on?
FOSTER: We follow up on what we know about. What isn’t reported, well, we can’t do anything about that. Do you have names you’d like to—
FOSTER: Well, you see my point. ___ Angela, I’m going to send you to your counselor, call your parents in, —
ANGELA: Why is this the school’s business? __ Fine. Call them.

- - - - - - - - -


[Jordan progresses down the hallway with determination – he’s partly composed, partly pissed, partly weary, and partly defiant. He stops at a small group of guys hanging at their lockers outside the gym. Jordan doesn’t know exactly who he’s looking for among them.]
JORDAN: Aaron?

AARON: Yeah?

JORDAN: What’s your problem?
[At this point, Jordan’s not really aggressive as much as truly stumped. Aaron’s response is brusque, but casual]

GUY 1: What the hell are you talking about?

[Still focusing only on Aaron – Jordan speaks much like when he said ‘abnormal(?)’ to Angela in “Pressure”— he’s trying to make sense of something he does not understand, and does not like] Ragging on girls? Girls you don’t know. What’s that about?

AARON: What, Angela Chase?
[He speaks the next part of his line to Jordan while his buddies simultaneously speak their next two lines of dialogue. Jordan’s reaction to the friend’s comment distracts him from responding to Aaron’s reference to Shane.] I already got a fistful on that.

GUY 1: Who’s that?

GUY 2: Stupid junior’s pregnant.

JORDAN: Back off.
[Jordan’s response is stern, but collected, and immediate]

GUY 2: Oh! Congratulations!

JORDAN: Yeah, thanks.
[Back to Aaron, not so much combative as sober – trying to keep from making a scene] Keep your mouth shut around her.

GUY 2:
[Bating] Wonder who the father is…

JORDAN: I am. Still wanna give her a hard time?

GUY 2: Yeah, I do wanna give her a hard time.

AARON: I bet she’d take it.
[He’s said it more for a laugh from his friends than because he’s really that big of an a-hole, just as Guy 2’s previous remark was made more for Jordan’s benefit as pay back for telling them what to do – they’re not unbelievable jerks, they’re guys. Jordan’s grabbed Aaron by the shirt collar]

JORDAN: Watch it.
[His explosion has taken him by surprise and self-consciously he loosens his grip.]

AARON: Get off of me. [Jordan realizes people are looking on, and almost instantaneously he regains his composure, releasing Aaron with a force that pushes him backwards, but not so hard that he slams into the lockers, which had been Jordan’s initial aim. There might be the most momentary indicator that Jordan’s both mortified and pissed that he’s made even the smallest spectacle, but he quickly resumes his apathetic stoicism and heads away.]

- - - - - - - - -


[After school, Angela and Jordan are at his house while he gathers gear together for a show he’s playing that night – packing up equipment, etc. She’s playing at strumming his acoustic guitar. She’s learning the chords, but it is awkward and her fingers won’t do what she wants them to.]
ANGELA: This is exactly what I was afraid would happen if word got out.

JORDAN: So, next time? Let ‘em say whatever? Just shrug it off? ____ We don’t really do that.

[She kind of grunts/exhales from frustration.] Uuuhhhh. [ She closes her eyes, and momentarily puts her head in her hand as she tries to think of how to communicate this to Jordan. She speaks slowly and with emphasis.] I got called into the principal’s office. Principal Foster is now involved in this. [Seeing she still hasn’t made an impact] They called my parents. [He’s listening to her, but doesn’t see in it what she sees. She gives up and returns to the earlier point of conversation.] Anyway, of course you do. You shrug everything off – school, your dad, fights with me. Most things you shrug off.

[Breezily] I don’t think this should be one of ‘em.

ANGELA: Yeah, I’d prefer not to be the subject of every conversation at school, but, that’s not really the problem. The real problem being that I’m pregnant, not people knowing that I am. I don’t want you, or your friends, turning me – this – into a reason to fight.

JORDAN: Nothing was ‘turned’.

ANGELA: [She’s even tempered, she’s not worked up or agitated] Aren’t things bad enough? (You’ve never struck me as someone who welcomed drama into his life.) ___ Are you mad? Is that what this is about? ‘Cuz I’m mad. I’m furious.

JORDAN: I’m not mad at you.

ANGELA: __ I know that.

[Packing up his white electric guitar, he casts a sidewise glance in her direction.] Angela? [He says it as casually but as earnestly as he can.] If, if you want to keep -- the baby -- I’ll do that. I’ll do that with you. We can make it work, or whatever. (We’ll) figure it out. [Stunned, she stops strumming]

ANGELA: __ Where is that– __ I thought we decided we didn’t want to. That we couldn’t (and shouldn’t) do that.

JORDAN: We don’t have to change the plan. I’m just saying, if it is something you’ve been wanting to do, we can do it.

[She’s quiet] Jordan. I don’t want to.


ANGELA: I thought, that you didn’t either.

[Telling the truth] I don’t. [She doesn’t know if she should believe him] I don’t. I just… Never mind. _ Forget it. [She’s still not sure if she should believe him Forget it. [/b][He resumes the tasks he’d been working on. She watches him and then returns her focus to the guitar, but she’s still thinking about what he said.]
… Play a sharp. ______ Are you sure you wanna go tonight? It’s not a big thing if you skip it.

ANGELA: No, I’m going.

JORDAN: Maybe I shouldn’t go.

ANGELA: Why? (Nothing’ll change tonight regardless.) Plus,
[She strikes the guitar loudly] they need a guitarist; they’re not Ben Folds Five.

JORDAN: I don’t know what that is.
[As he moves around the room, he pauses what’s he’s doing to fix her fingering. She works a little longer, then lays down the guitar.]___ I don’t want to do this.

[Not looking up] What? Go?

ANGELA: I don’t want to have the baby.
[Clarifying, without saying it, her eyes never leaving his face] At all.

JORDAN: ______ Okay.

[Dryly sober] Really?

JORDAN: Is this about today?

ANGELA: No. ___ Are you sure? ‘Cuz what you just before…

JORDAN: You can’t do it – the one, or the other – if it’s not really what you want.

ANGELA: But, what do you want? I don’t want to not know what you feel.

JORDAN: ___ If I were in your place… I wouldn’t do it – have it.
[She’s nodding, listening to what he’s saying, then stops—]

ANGELA: Yeah… ___ Damn it.
[She lies down on her belly, her face pillowed by her hands. Jordan watches her for a moment and sits too, laying back, he stares up at the ceiling] ___ I can’t figure the right thing to do.

JORDAN: How much longer do we have?

ANGELA: …There’s still time. _____ You can do it up to three months; but the later you wait, it gets more— ___ I don’t want to drag it out. _______
[Turning over, she’s compartmentalized things for now] I’m going home and take a nap first. [She rises] You can still pick me up on your way? [He nods] Okay. [Small wave and she exits to walk home]

- - - - - - - - -


[Backstage at the small venue Jordan’s band is playing. Jordan and Angela stand apart from the other band members, Shane, and any friends hanging with them. They speak closely together while the boys – a ways off – banter, and jostle one another, giving Jordan and Angela their space, all but one -- who occasionally looks over at them -- ignoring the couple completely. A band mate calls to Jordan that it’s time; Jordan disentangles himself from Angela, looking past her he kisses her on the face, and then heads off to join the boys as they walk down the narrow corridor to the low stage. The one who’s been watching does a head nod and says ‘Hey’ to Angela as he passes by. As they walk, the guy and Joey lean into each other, looking straight ahead, their conversation not loud enough for the others to overhear.]
JOEY: What was that about?

FRIEND 1: What?

JOEY: ‘What’? That little moment, with Jordan’s girl.

FRIEND 1: What?

JOEY: You’ve been staring at her all night.

FRIEND 1: Whatever.

JOEY: What’re you after?

FRIEND 1: Nothin’.

JOEY: It’s creepy the way you’re lookin’ at her.

FRIEND 1: She’s pregnant.

JOEY: Yeah.

FRIEND 1: That doesn’t trip you out?

JOEY: What? Like how?
[They’re on stage now, plugging into amps, and tapping on mics, exchanging murmured words as they pass one another during the routine acts of preparing to play. The other three band members, Jordan included, notice nothing. During the rest of their exchange, Jordan says hi to the crowd.]

FRIEND 1: Look at her. Totally nice. Totally crazy about him. And – potentially – having his kid.

JOEY: Man, shut up.

FRIEND 1: What?

JOEY: You’re an idiot. This isn’t good. Jordan’s freaking out. Whatever fantasies you’re having about her should stop. Her life’s messed up enough without you creepin’ on her.

[Chuckles] That is so not what I said.

JOEY: Whatever man, I know how you are.
Forget it.
[The band starts to play. Maybe The Clash’s “Lost in the Supermarket” Nirvana’s “Dumb” Johnny Cash’s “Folsom Prison Blues” or something else, classic and slightly morose.[/color]]

- - - - - - - - -


[Outside the Chase home, Jordan’s brought Angela home at the end of the night, and they lie on their backs on the hood of his car, bundled up in their coats, looking up at the stars.]
ANGELA: … I just don’t see how this is a decision that can be made. You know? __ God… I feel immobilized. Like, incapacitated.
[Turning her head towards him] Do you feel that way? [Turning back to the stars] I mean, how is this done? _ It feels like we’ve been living with this forever. ____ [She sits up] I mean, [He too slowly sits up] I’ll feel like I know what my choice is, and I’ll like, live with it for a little while, and then, I don’t know… everything changes and I see it all differently and feel differently about it.

JORDAN: I know.
[Throughout the scene Angela’s been absently tugging at the papery wristband from the club that night. It’s stretching, but not tearing, and pulling at it is leaving a mark on her wrist. Jordan deftly takes hold her wrist, holds it still, and using his keys, tears it off.]

[Rubbing her wrist] So… I guess, we’re not going to find the answer tonight?

JORDAN: Not to this.

[She pulls her coat in tighter at the collar so that it lifts and covers her tucked chin; small smile] The show was good. I like when you sing. [She goes in for a small goodnight kiss and it takes him by surprise. He’d been feeling kind of separate from her, and this sudden contact is powerful and he returns the kiss with fervor. They remember each other together. The kiss, although a good one, is somewhat melancholic and short-lived.]

JORDAN: [His face very close to hers, he looks her in the eye] Goodnight.

ANGELA: ‘Night.
[She slips off the car, and walks up the front path to her house while he walks around to the driver’s door.]

- - - - - - - - -


[Later that same night as Jordan exits a convenience store after purchasing cigarettes, and possibly a bottle of something, he passes a group of people heading in. Jordan recognizes one of them as a guy he’s friendly with, and gives a head nod, but Jordan’s not as friendly as he would be without all of this on his mind, and he continues on towards his car. As he does so, someone in the group recognized him as someone she wants to speak with. With a pat on the chest, Rayanne breaks away from the boy she’d been walking with and approaches Jordan.]
[Heading away from her] Don’t. Don’t start.

[Sarcastic] Right. [Continuing] Catal-

[Veering away from her again, avoiding eye contact] Look, I’ve gotten it from everyone already. Krakow. Cynthia. –

RAYANNE: Yeah? What’d sleazoid Hargrove have to say about it?

JORDAN: Mature. Like you’ve got it together enough to tell anyone what to do.

RAYANNE: Right, ‘cuz I forget how put together your life is. Tell me more about getting your girlfriend pregnant.

[Turning on her] Look, you’re not even friends. (She wouldn’t want you sticking up for her. That’s like, what? Ironic.) You’ve got to walk away now. __ It’s under control.

RAYANNE: I feel so relieved.

JORDAN: Yeah? Well you’re not really the one who needs to be relieved, are you? Just – leave it alone.
[He unlocks his car]

RAYANNE: That’s not—

JORDAN: You. You leave it alone. ___ Just–
[Sighs, standing behind his open door] I’ll tell her you asked about her. [He gets in]

- - - - - - - - -
Last edited by Jody Barsch* on May 1st 2010, 4:05 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Help developing certain character storylines

Post by Jody Barsch* » Nov 12th 2009, 2:23 am

[Mid-afternoon, Jordan and Angela sit at the Chase kitchen table, which is covered with school work. Angela, trying to do homework, just sits repeatedly clicking the clip arm of her pen with her thumbnail.]
ANGELA: I can’t concentrate.
[Jordan, who’d been leaning his forehead against his palm, shifts his head into his crossed arms on the table and turns his head to look at her.]

JORDAN: We should decide.

ANGELA: I know.
[She tosses down her pen] ______ I don’t want to keep it. [Jordan listens] But I feel awful for saying that. And I keep convincing myself that I can do it – that I can have the baby. That it’s not as impossible as it seems.

[Apprehensive] To keep?

ANGELA: No. We’ve talked about this. ______ Right?

JORDAN: Right.
[Straightening up some, head in hand] No.

ANGELA: Absolutely?

JORDAN: Not keeping it.

ANGELA: Then I don’t want to have it. But then –

JORDAN: Angela—

ANGELA: You want the abortion.

JORDAN: I don’t think you should have it out of guilt.

ANGELA: But isn’t it the right thing to do? Then isn’t it right to feel guilt?

JORDAN: Are your parents…?

[Shakes her head] No. _______ Would you be mad—


ANGELA: —If I didn’t have the abortion.


ANGELA: If I gave it up for adoption?

[Resituating himself] I don’t feel great about it. But, I wouldn’t be mad. And, I can see how it could be good, you know? ___ It just seems … too hard to tell – how it will turn out. But I can see how it would look different to you. And how it might be, appealing. I won’t be mad. _____ Are you thinking about this seriously?

ANGELA: ‘Seriously’?

JORDAN: School? ___ Would you keep in contact with them -- the family?

ANGELA: Uhhhh.
[Almost cries; instead she blows her hair out of her face]

JORDAN: Look, this all sucks. All of it. And I get that you don’t want to make a mistake. But, I think, we can only do what we can handle. If having it— If that isn’t something-- It doesn’t seem right to force yourself to do it. _____ Nobody’s going to blame you.

- - - - - - - - -


[Angela’s napping on her bed, she awakes to find Danielle standing in the doorway watching her.]
DANIELLE: What is going on?

[Sitting up, still a bit groggy] What do you mean? Nothing. [Danielle shoots her her most incredulous look] I’m just tired.

DANIELLE: That’s not it.
[Moves into the room] Why are Mom and Dad acting so weird? __ Are you alright? [Angela nods] No, but really?

ANGELA: I’m okay. __ I’ll tell you about it, at some point.

[Danielle sits at the foot of the bed (she’s not nagging, there is a graveness in her tone)] Why not now? [Angela’s expression speaks for her, and Danielle sits there quietly with her older sister.]

- - - - - - - - -


[Graham is in the kitchen cooking. A still tired-looking Angela, wearing pajamas, enters from the dining room. Graham looks up as she shuffles into the room and sits crossed legged in the breakfast alcove.]
GRAHAM: Hey there. __ How’re you doin’?

ANGELA: Tired.

GRAHAM: Hungry?

ANGELA: I don’t know. ___ What are you making?
[Graham chuckles]

GRAHAM: I don’t know yet.

ANGELA: Dad? _____ I don’t know what to do.

GRAHAM: Angela.
[He goes and sits with her] Rethinking adoption? Or having the baby?

ANGELA: I don’t want to keep it, but I don’t— Adoption seems right. It seems like the right thing to do. When I think about Mom, and her mom – not Grandma – it’s like, ‘Wow, that’s amazing.’ And I think, you know, ‘Eight more months, that’s not such a big part of my life. I could do that’. But, I really don’t want to.

GRAHAM: You don’t have to.

ANGELA: But— I’m afraid. And, it seems like, like abortion is what you do when you can’t tell people you’re pregnant.

GRAHAM: It’s what a person does when they can’t have a baby. Period. Angela, it’s not about whether you tell people. It’s about not being prepared, or able (to see a pregnancy through).

[Softly] I don’t think I can.

GRAHAM: You don’t have to.
[Angela crumbles and Graham holds her.]

[Muffled] I can’t have a baby. [She sobs, he holds her tighter, despite that his hold of her is a little awkward]

GRAHAM: You’re okay.
[Eventually Angela composes herself and straightens up.] Should we talk to Mom? [Angela wipes her face and nods] Hey! Patty! ___ Are you sure this is what you want?

[She nods] Yes.

GRAHAM: You’ve talked to Jordan about this?
[She nods her head]

[Patty enters the kitchen and takes in the scene.] Mom –

- - - - - - - - -


[Probably at the loft … The phone rings, a buddy of Jordan’s picks up the receiver.]
GUY: Yeah? ------ Who’s this? ---- Oh. Yeah. Hold on a sec. [/b][He goes to try to find Jordan] Catalano. [Jordan doesn’t hear] Jordan. __ Phone. __ It’s your girl. [Jordan’s expression changes just slightly, he looks to his friends, who are looking at him, then he rises and crosses briskly to the phone]

JORDAN: Angela? _______
[She doesn’t respond right away. He doesn’t panic.] What’s going on? ____ Angela?

ANGELA: Do you have second?

JORDAN: Yeah. What’s going on?

ANGELA: I’ve decided; I’m having the abortion.

JORDAN: Have you made the plans?

ANGELA: No. It’s late.

JORDAN: Right.

ANGELA: It will still be a few days.


ANGELA: There’s a waiting period. In case.

JORDAN: Right.

ANGELA: I thought you’d want to know though, as soon as I knew.

JORDAN: Yeah. … So, what do I do?

ANGELA: … How do you mean?

JORDAN: Do I go with you?

ANGELA: I don’t know. Can I get back to you? ______ It’s kind of expensive.


ANGELA: I don’t think it’s right to make my parents pay for it. I’m not sure they would anyway.

JORDAN: No. They shouldn’t do that. __ How much?

ANGELA: I don’t know exactly; more than three hundred. _ I don’t have that much. I don’t have half.

JORDAN: Yeah. Okay.

ANGELA: I’m sure my parents would loan it to me.

JORDAN: I’ll try to figure something out.

[Changing the subject] What are you doing?

JORDAN: Nothin’. __ How many places did ‘ya try?

ANGELA: Only two.

- - - - - - - - -


[Angela and Jordan are sitting in a waiting room. Just, waiting. Jordan’s arms are crossed at his chest, and he’s slouching in a way that sends his outstretched legs, crossed at the ankles, jetting out into the walkway. Angela’s absently running her hands through her hair. She’s listening to a compact disc player, and pulls one earphone away and offers it Jordan.]
ANGELA: This is a good one.
[He takes the earphone, and leans in towards her so that the cord will reach. They listen quietly to the song.]


ANGELA: Is the volume okay?

[More time passes. As they listen, Angela draws her feet up and pulls her knees towards her. Jordan absently tugs at a loose thread at the back of her jeans, tattered from being stepped on. She lays her cheek on her knee.]
NURSE: Angela?
[Angela doesn’t react – it is unclear whether she’s heard or not – Jordan nudges her, and pulls away his one earphone. Angela looks up, pulls at her earphone, and drops her feet to the ground. She looks at Jordan, he looks back. She rises, handing him the disc player.] You can bring that with you, if you like. [Angela references Jordan, ‘Does he want it while he waits?’]

JORDAN: Take it.
[She does. Asking after her] Okay?


JORDAN: Do you want me to call your mom?

ANGELA: It’s okay.

NURSE: Are you her ride home?


NURSE: Okay. It’ll be a little while.
[To Angela] Ready?

JORDAN: I’ll be here.

* * *

[Angela comes out. Jordan, with a folded newspaper on his lap, and a cup of coffee by his feet, looks up. He stands when he sees her.]
JORDAN: Hey, Pretty Girl.
[Jordan takes the disc player from her, shoulders her bag she’d left with him, and puts an arm around her shoulder.] Let’s get out of here.
ANGELA: [Tired, and barely audible] We have to go to the pharmacy.

- - - - - - - - -

[In the car, Angela leans her head against the cool window.]

- - - - - - - - -


[Angela’s curled up and asleep on the Chase’s couch. Jordan’s sitting in the room quietly. Patty walks through and looks in on them.]
* * *

[Angela’s still asleep. Jordan rises, slips out the front door, lights a cigarette, and sits on the porch steps. Brian rides by on his bike. He stops, watches Jordan, then lifts a hand in a gesture of ‘hello’. Jordan nods. Brian doesn’t know the exact circumstances, but even from across the street, he has a sense of the mood. Brian tightens his lips, perhaps wants to cross the street, but then enters his house. Jordan takes another drag from his cigarette. The Chase’s door opens behind him, and Graham comes out onto the porch. He stands there, with Jordan, for a while. They may hedge looks at one another, but they do not speak.]
GRAHAM: That’s uh, not good for you, you know. Smoking.

JORDAN: Yeah. ____ But, I like it.
[Graham was not expecting this]

GRAHAM: It went okay today?
[Jordan shrugs, not out of ambivalence] This clearly wasn’t— This wasn’t an ideal situation. But you two handled it well. [Jordan scoffs]

JORDAN: _____ Thanks, uh, for —
[Exhales] I appreciate, [gesturing with his hand holding the cigarette] being the one to go. [Graham nods. Jordan takes a drag] I’ll get you the money as soon as I can.

[Graham nods again] _ You’re a good kid, Jordan. __ We don’t hate you. [Jordan wasn’t expecting this, and doesn’t know exactly how to react. For the first time he looks more like a kid than an adult.] You don’t have to stay out here. [Jordan indicates his cigarette as the reason he’s outside. Graham nods, and goes back into the house.] The door’s open.
* * *

[Some time has passed. Jordan’s cigarette is gone but he’s either still on the porch, or has since returned to it. Angela, still a bit groggy, shuffles out to the front porch, wearing her pajamas.]
ANGELA: Still here.
[Jordan looks up]

JORDAN: How ya’ doin’?
[She sits beside him]

ANGELA: I’m okay.

JORDAN: Good. _______________ Do you wanna talk about it?

[She sighs, and pulls her hair away from her face] It was awful. And scary. And fine.

[Jordan listens and watches] ____ Wanna take off school tomorrow? Do something nice? ___ Whatta’ya think?

ANGELA: I think I’m on thin ice as it is.
[He nods]

JORDAN: ______________ So what now?

[Mutely] Exactly. ‘What now?’

JORDAN: Is everything... ruined?

[Her head is resting on her knee as she looks at him and thinks, but she lifts it as she answers him] Not everything.

JORDAN: Is this something– Can we get past this?

ANGELA: I’m sixteen; I better get past this.
[She’s aware that he’s looking at her] I’m alright. …

JORDAN: We’ll be okay.
[He’s said it, but it might be just words – Jordan’s mood is a little ambiguous.]

ANGELA: I agree.
[Attempting at humor] But it might take a lot of Robert Smith to get there. [He cocks his eyebrow] Think I’m gonna go back inside. (I don’t feel so excellent.) Thanks for sticking around. [She slowly rises. After a beat he does as well.]

JORDAN: Angela.
[His eyes narrow, he doesn’t say whatever he is thinking.]

- - - - - - - - -


[Jordan, sitting on Lisa’s sofa. Lisa comes and slouches onto the couch beside him, resting her head on his shoulder, lightly patting his back.]
LISA: So how is Angela?

[Subtly shakes his head] I don’t know.

[Slightly more upbeat] How are you?

[Irritated, or maybe just frustrated] I didn’t think it would feel exactly like this.

[Tugging at his hair] I know.


LISA: It’s big. It is.___ But J, it isn’t everything.

- - - - - - - - -


[A day or so after, Jordan and Angela are sitting side by side on her made bed, leaning against the headboard. Jordan’s legs are outstretched, while Angela’s knees are up -- she holds them close to her -- her cheek resting atop her knees, facing Jordan. Her door is at least partway open. (Me First and the Gimme Gimme’s cover of “Danny’s Song” is playing in the background – Excuse the musical anachronism; I know, the song’s from ’98, and technically this would be ’96 or ‘97. Sorry, I know musical tie-in’s to fanfictions drives some readers up the wall.)]
JORDAN: I love you.

[She smiles, but doesn’t lift her head] Me too. [Her head still on her knee, she moves slightly to give him a small kiss on his nearby elbow][Angela, by chance, resumes listening to the song during the line “Now I see a family where there once was none”; she takes a deep breath and then slowly exhales. Jordan absently picks up some kind of keepsake box on her bedside table and she watches as he browses through ticket stubs and other odds and ends. … She soberly sings along to the end of the second chorus.] ‘Everything’s going to be alright.’ [During the lyrics “Love the girl who holds the world in a paper cup” he nudges her with his elbow.] ‘C’mon and drink it up.’ [During “If you find she helps your mind, better take her home,” but not because of it, Jordan reaches and rubs the back of her head with outstretched fingers; she momentarily lays her head on his shoulder.]

JORDAN: This isn’t very punk.

ANGELA: But it’s good. It’s nice.

[Chuckles] ‘Nice.’

ANGELA: It’s punk-light. Punk-esque. ...
[Simultaneous with the last “Everything’s going to be alright”, but again, not because of it, or even conscious of it] Just so you know, this was the right decision. If you don’t know it for sure, I do. [He nods distantly] … It’s time to move on, huh?

JORDAN: I guess it’s time to start.
[She gives herself a minute, then nods decidedly]

Okay. ____ [In irony] Good year!

JORDAN: Oh yeah.

ANGELA: You’re my friend, right?

JORDAN: You bet. I’ve got your back.
[She ‘hmphs’ appreciatively.] __ How long, ya think, ‘till Krakow’ll speak to me again?

[Cracking a smile] I’d say at least another two, three months.

JORDAN: I better get some homework done then.
[Rising and heading towards the door] Up for hanging out with people tomorrow?

[Purses lips] Sure.

[He’s in the hallway, about to walk away, when he pops his head back in] So, uh, hey. [She looks at him] That whole, ‘love’ thing? ___ Big.



[Subtle nodding, maybe a smile] Yeah.

JORDAN: Maybe should’ve said it before. Before before.
[She listens] ‘Cuz, it didn’t just hit me. … [He pats the doorframe] Later. [He’s gone.]

Last edited by Jody Barsch* on May 1st 2010, 4:38 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Help developing certain character storylines

Post by Jody Barsch* » Nov 12th 2009, 3:05 am

So, that's it, the 35 page word document that's been the best/worst ally in procrastination since I don't know what. So, as you can tell by the colors and sizes (making my already hard to navigate posts (I just can't help but stage direct) even more reader-friendly :mrgreen: ) there's still a lot of phrasing and story points I've not settled on (e.g. I don't really like that Lisa got pregnant in high school, that was never part of my vision of her before I wrote this story. And, I don't think Jordan would actually say that thing about staying away from his kid, triggering him to feel compelled to tell Angela that they can keep the baby if she wants to. It just came out when I was revising the scene, and I kept it in b/c I figured someone might enjoy it, but yeah, I think it went too far.) This story ended up A LOT longer than I ever thought it would. I just kept typing, and stuff kept being written, but I don't know that those scenes help anything, or even exist in a realm of reality. While I've done a TON of editing, I know a lot more could be done. This story (not meant to represent an actual episode) started out just being the first two scenes and a couple of the quiet conversations between Jordan and Angela. I don't know what happened. Also, orginally I had Angela break up with Jordan, but even though she does have the tendency to "shut people out", and I can see the potential motivation behind it, it just didn't seem right. I threw a "Say Anything" reference in there, and a few other things (e.g. "Cassie" ala Skins (I wanted to use Angie, but that was too close to Angela, and plus I love Cassie!)) As for the "I love you's", in the story I think Angela and Jordan have been dating for something like 7-8 months, and so possibly it's not at all realistic that they wouldn't have said those words before now (there's an old discussion of that topic earlier in this thread, thanks Tomspeed but I guess I proceeded from the point of view that Jordan would maybe figure that it was a given, and didn't need to be said, and Angela, while much more able to stand up for herself in most aspects of their relationship, was still a little apprehensive about pushing him, and was satisfied that he treated her well and they were happy and comfortable together. But that's probably doing them both a diservice. Well, I guess I did it for the drama.
Anyway, thanks if you made it all the way through. Feedback more than welcome!
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Re: Help developing certain character storylines

Post by Jody Barsch* » Nov 12th 2009, 4:49 am

Here's the original ending based on the break up:

- - -

[Days after the dinner at Lisa and Ben’s (at this point they’ve pretty much settled on adoption), Jordan and Angela are in his garage. He’s messing with his car and she’s in the backseat lying across the seats on her back, knees up. One by one she’s hitting each right hand finger to her thumb, back and forth as she mulls over what’s in her head. When she’s come to her decision, she sits up and studies him for a bit before she speaks.]
ANGELA: I think we should break up.
JORDAN: [Takes a second] What?
ANGELA: I do. Things are just going to get too weird, and we’ll end up breaking up anyhow, and so, I think we should just get it over with now.
JORDAN: What are you talking about?
ANGELA: Me being pregnant, like, visibly pregnant, is going to put our relationship in a really weird place. There’s going to be all this pressure on us as a couple, and we’re not ready for that. Dating you, while I’m pregnant is going to complicate everything.
JORDAN: What are you talking about?
ANGELA: Everybody at school is going to know, and they’ll start looking at us like we’re a family [She says this word with difficulty]. Like we might be getting married. And we’re not like that. And that’s not us. That’s not the situation. And that wouldn’t be helpful. Or fair.
JORDAN: Fair? __ So, basically, you’d rather everybody think that you’re totally alone than with me? __ And then what? You want to see me go out with other girls?
ANGELA: If that’s what you want.
JORDAN: [Really irritated] That’s what you’re telling me you want.
ANGELA: I don’t want you to be a martyr. I don’t want you to be with me because ‘it’s the right thing to do’.
JORDAN: Well, it is the right thing to do. And it’s not often that that’s clear to me. You don’t want this; you’re just scared. Which, is understandable.
ANGELA: It’s— I’d rather have you as a friend than a boyfriend I can’t rely on.
JORDAN: Who said you can’t rely on me?
ANGELA: I didn’t mean it like that. It would just be demanding too much from both of us. I don’t want to walk around playing house with my life.
JORDAN: [Deducing]You want people to feel sorry for you not for me.
ANGELA: Not “feeling sorry for,” but yes. If we were together, everyone would think the worst – that I did it on purpose, or that you were only with me because of it – that somehow my pregnancy was ruining your life. It’s hard enough already.
JORDAN: But if we break up then what? “I got out just in time”? I’m a bastard.
ANGELA: They won’t know it’s you.
JORDAN: So now you want people to think you’re sleeping around?
ANGELA: It’s not like that.
JORDAN: You’re really doing this because of other people? Angela, get out of the car, come over here. [she does]
ANGELA: For me too. [Thinking aloud in low tones] I already feel like trash.
JORDAN: [Stunned] What?
ANGELA: That’s exactly like I feel; like trash – garbage. Stupid.
JORDAN: [He kind of can’t conceive of this] Do you mean that? [Under his breath] I can’t believe this.
JORDAN: I can’t believe you. [She looks up innocently; hurt. He explains] You’d never say that about another person. You’d never think someone in your position was ‘trash’. You don’t judge people that way. But with me. With my— You’re trash? [His tone is getting combative]
ANGELA: No. That’s not how I—
JORDAN: That’s why you’re—
ANGELA: I don’t want to have this conversation.
JORDAN: ________ What conversation do you want to have.
ANGELA: I want to be quiet. For, a really, long, time.
JORDAN: ___ Well, that’s not really going to help anything, is it?
ANGELA: You don’t have to be so mean.
JORDAN: ‘Mean’? Angela, ‘mean’? You’re cutting me out. You’re breaking up with me. _____ You don’t do that.
ANGELA: Look, can’t we be friends?
JORDAN: Angela, you’re breaking up with me. We can’t just be friends. You can’t tell me you want me to stop being your boyfriend and then expect to just start up a friendship. [Much less confrontational] I know it seems like it, but this isn’t just happening to you.
ANGELA: I know that.
JORDAN: ______ I can’t believe you’re doing this. ___ This is nuts. Things aren’t messed up enough? [Slamming something down] You know, I don’t even know why I’m surprised. This is so typical of you. You just walk away. [Her face crumples – his heart automatically goes out to her, but he’s also pissed at her. Conflicted, he doesn’t know what to do – to go to her, to shout, to leave, to hit something. He kicks or punches something, or knocks something over and it startles her. She cries.]
JORDAN: Jesus. [She continues to silently cry. After a bit he exhales, he’s regained his temper] You’re really doing this?
ANGELA: Please don’t hate me. [She walks away]

- - - - - - - - -

[Jordan and Shane are sitting alone in the loft. Shane’s at the drums (at different points throughout their conversation he might be air-drumming over them); Jordan’s sprawled on a chair or sofa.]
JORDAN: She broke up with me.
SHANE: Not really? [Jordan nods his head] I can’t believe that. That’s hard to believe. And… she’s still…
JORDAN: So… What?
SHANE: What’s going to happen?
JORDAN: Nuthin’. Nuthin’s gonna happen. She’ll have the –
SHANE: Baby –
JORDAN: [Shifts his eyes towards his friend, then sighs and continues] Yeah. Then, it will be over.
SHANE: Sounds real simple.
JORDAN: Uh huh.
SHANE: So what now?
JORDAN: [Chucking a button he’s absently pulled loose from his shirt] I dunno know. ___ Look, don’t uh, don’t te—
SHANE: Catalano. I got it. [Jordan sighs and hangs his head] People are gonna– If she stays in school – people are gonna know. ____ What’s she gonna—
JORDAN: I dunno. ___ She ended things.
SHANE: Man, of all the girls…
JORDAN: Don’t. … What does that even mean?
SHANE: I’m just saying, of all the girls to get … Angela Cha—
JORDAN: It’s not her fault.
SHANE: Yeah, man. That’s not what I’m saying. Not at all. It’s just, it’s sad.
JORDAN: I need a drink.
SHANE: I hear that.
JORDAN: [straightening up] Look, just– Try not– It’s not a secret. But– She’s concerned.
SHANE: Yeah, I got it. But, that’s not going to stop people from talking.
JORDAN: I know.
SHANE: It just sucks that it’s her. [He absently drums a short beat. Jordan scowls – he isn’t clear why this distinction is being made. Is it a dig?] I just mean… It sucks. [final strike at the drum]
JORDAN: I know it sucks. She knows it sucks. Her parents know it sucks. The kid across the street knows it sucks.
SHANE: Ohhhh! I forgot about Krakow! Man, watch out!
JORDAN: Shut up.
SHANE: I’m not kidding. That kid’ll die trying to get you. Dude, and he’ll move in – now that you’re out of the picture and she’s single – he’ll move in.
JORDAN: She’s not single. She’s pregnant. I’m not out of the picture.
SHANE: Don’t take this the wrong way, ‘cuz I actually know you like her, but… aren’t you at all relieved?
JORDAN: Breaking up didn’t make it any less true. She’s still having a kid. My kid.
SHANE: Yeah. But you don’t have to marry her.
JORDAN: That wasn’t— Never mind. _________ This isn’t right.

- - - - - - - - -

Scene with Graham stays the same.

- - - - - - - - -

[Jordan’s hanging out with friends, Angela approaches. The friends try to be casual, to not make a big deal about it, or to draw attention to the situation, but mostly they are intrigued.]
ANGELA: Hi. [hair tuck]
JORDAN: [Cooly] Hi.
ANGELA: I haven’t talked to you for a little while... [Jordan looks blankly at her, but then sighs and gets up, walks away from the circle of friends, and she follows.] Um, so, the situation has, been – resolved. [Jordan looks up] (I killed the baby.) [She waits a bit] So… [He looks, but says nothing] Okay. [She turns to retreat]
JORDAN: I didn’t know you were doing that.
ANGELA: [flatly] Are you mad? [He shakes his head silently] Not that I guess I care. Or that it would make any kind of a difference now. … … So… You’re good? [She shuffles her feet, twists about as Angela does.]
JORDAN: [Solemn and insistent] Angela, are you okay?
ANGELA: [Long pause, she looks away to think about this, or to focus on what’s been asked] I’m still waiting to wake up.
JORDAN: Can I spend some time with you? [Moving closer] Would that be alright?
ANGELA: [Really looking at him] I’m afraid I’ve been really kind of shi**y.
JORDAN: No more than the circumstances.
ANGELA: I didn’t sign up for this.
JORDAN: No. And I’m sorry.
ANGELA: [Sighs/shudders, pulls her hair back, and lets her arms fall] No more apologies. That part, at least, should be over. [Jordan swallows, and then looks down to her abdomen]
ANGELA: Last week. ___ I just couldn’t get myself here to tell you earlier than now.
JORDAN: Sure. ____ Do you wanna, talk about it?
ANGELA: It was awful. And scary. And fine.
JORDAN: [Jordan listens and watches] Can you give me some time? [She takes a really long breath, then nods.. Jordan, hands in pockets jerks his shoulder to indicate that they take a walk, Angela begins slowly and Jordan follows.]

* * * * *

ANGELA: [Angela stops walking, Jordan doesn’t notice until she speaks] I’m sorry I didn’t tell you when I did it. I know I should have.
JORDAN: [Under his breath] It’s okay. [A bit more audible] I know you felt alone. [Angela rolls her eyes and kind of smiles to keep her eyes from tearing up and her lip from quivering, but it doesn’t work and soon her face has collapsed and suddenly she’s tucked into Jordan’s arms, her face buried in his corduroy jacket. Jordan’s eyes look up – he’s still processing.]

* * * * *

[Sitting on a curb, she holds a paper cup in both hands, blowing on the drink, while he smokes a cigarette and absently traces his fingers around the rim of his black coffee.]
JORDAN: So what now?
ANGELA: [Mutely] Exactly. ‘What now?’
JORDAN: Is everything, ruined?
ANGELA: [Her head is resting on her knee as she looks at him and thinks, but she lifts it as she answers him] Not everything.
JORDAN: Is this something– Can we get past this?
ANGELA: I’m sixteen; I better as hell get past this. [She’s aware that he’s looking at her] I’m alright. I’m massively in shock, but I’m ‘alright’.
ANGELA: You don’t need to worry. Don’t, worry.
JORDAN: I won’t.
JORDAN: Alright.
ANGELA: I’m gonna go. [He moves to rise] I’m going to walk.
JORDAN: I’ll see you?
ANGELA: Okay. [After a few steps she turns back to him] Jordan, just so that you know, this was the right decision. If you don’t know it for sure, I do.
JORDAN: We’ll be okay.
ANGELA: I agree. [Attempting at humor] But it might take a lot of Robert Smith to get there. [He cocks his eyebrow] I’m gonna go. [She slowly turns on her heel; he lets her leave but then throws down his cigarette and calls out to her]
JORDAN: Angela. [He walks to her and pulls her to him] I miss you. [She allows herself to be held, and he holds her tighter.] I love you.
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Re: Help developing certain character storylines

Post by Tracey » Apr 29th 2010, 6:53 pm

Jody, I liked it. I agree that not very moment seems to be the reality of the show, but it was fun to read, and well written. The stage directions did slow me down a little bit, but I can see why they're there, and they are helpful with gauging tone. I can't decide about the I love you's. I see both points, but i think what you decided on works for the story. I like that Rickie and Rayann'es lives are a little different than they were in the show, but also the same. I wish we could have seen more of them. Brian and Sharon too have such small parts, but I get that this was a story about Angela and not about the whole cast. I liked the idea of Jordan sneaking into her house at night just, to be together, quietly, away from the world. I think that works well. Wanted to give you some feedback since by the look of it, you're very good about it for others.
Keep writing! I like just even the little snippets, you've posted throughout the years.

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Re: Help developing certain character storylines

Post by Jody Barsch* » May 1st 2010, 5:19 am

Tracey wrote:Jody, I liked it. I agree that not very moment seems to be the reality of the show, but it was fun to read, and well written.
I hope that's supposed to say 'every' : ) Yea! I'm glad you liked it, it was so nice to see your comment!

I just revised the story -- it's in the same posts as before, just updated. The story itself is the same; the biggest content changes are: I dropped Lisa's pregancy storyline, I edited down Jordan's internal monologue, and reigned in the confrontation between Jordan and Aaron. I also changed language, made style changes, cut words and lines here and there, added a few lines in places, and then reformatted the appearance. (I cannot decide if the skipped lines and bold font help or hinder, but I figure that when the dialogue is in bold, it makes it easier for people to skip over the stage directions if they so choose. (I had a hard time getting the small font and alt. color codes to do exaclty what I wanted, but I think it's clear enough which sections I'm feeling the most unsure about.))
Tracey wrote:I like that Rickie and Rayann'es lives are a little different than they were in the show, but also the same. I wish we could have seen more of them.
: ) I like that little scene too. The title for this thread is no joke! (We all know I write for J&A, and to a much lesser degree Patty.)
Tracey wrote:Wanted to give you some feedback since by the look of it, you're very good about it for others.
Keep writing! I like just even the little snippets, you've posted throughout the years.
That was really great to read! Thank you : )

Welcome to the forum Tracey!
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Re: Help developing certain character storylines

Post by Tracey » May 6th 2010, 7:16 pm

Jody Barsch* wrote:
Tracey wrote:Jody, I liked it. I agree that not very moment seems to be the reality of the show, but it was fun to read, and well written.
I hope that's supposed to say 'every' : ) Yea! I'm glad you liked it, it was so nice to see your comment!

Welcome to the forum Tracey!
Thanks Jody! I feel like I might have logged in too, too, too late in the game.
Ha! yeah, I did mean "Every"!
I'm betting I didn't catch all the changes you made, but I really do think it reads cleaner. (does that makes sense???) The changes you mentioned above work well, same with cutting down the doctor's office scene w/ Patty. It worked, but it just wasn't necessary. You really do a good job of capturing their voices. So, even if I don't think the storyline would have made on the actual ABC show, as you yourself said, it feels very real.
I like what Cynthia Hargrove says to Jordan about the Catalano Code of Conduct. I'm interested in seeing them interact together.

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Re: Help developing certain character storylines

Post by Jody Barsch* » Apr 3rd 2012, 9:29 pm

Kind of feel like no one's really reading this thread anymore, but, whatever. Thought I'd post something just for the heck of it because I haven't in a long time. (A lot of that old stuff has been revised, rewritten, or cut since in my files.) This was something short and self-contained (although really, that's mostly what I have now, a collection of vignettes spanning 15+ years since the show ended). As a lot of my stuff isn't posted, I think this is probably the first thing I've posted (but not written) with my interpretation of TIno. I mostly write all my fanfic in powerpoint now, so, hopefully this converted okay. Okay... (Also, I'm just trying something out that I had tried ages ago in my other ff thread with pics...)

[Spring of Angela’s senior year. During lunch, beneath the bleachers, Angela and Jordan discuss the upcoming prom.]
Screen shot 2012-04-03 at 7.09.19 PM.jpg
JORDAN: [About Prom] I’m not going.
JORDAN: It’s not my deal.
ANGELA: Okay. ____That’s not a surprise.
JORDAN: I’m just saying, cuz, you seem like you’d want to go.
ANGELA: Well, that doesn’t seem like the nicest thing you could say about how I ‘seem’, given your opinions on the subject. And maybe you could have said it in a nicer way since you think I want to. And, I never said I wanted to go. And -- [Jordan looks at her, not irritated, but in mild disbelief she could still has more to say on the subject.] If I did, I could go without you.
JORDAN: So, you do want to go. _ [Wryly] Who’d you go with?
ANGELA: Whoever.
JORDAN: [Messing with her] Brian? Corey?
ANGELA: You don’t think I could get a real date?
JORDAN: [Mock innocence] Those aren’t real dates?
ANGELA: [Distracted] Did I leave my French book in your car? [Disinterested, he shrugs] I don’t need you to like what I like.
JORDAN: Is that what you like?
ANGELA: We don’t have to morph.
JORDAN: What happened to the big ‘we can’t have two separate lives’?
ANGELA: [Shrugs] It excludes school dances if you truly think they’re too painful to cope. But, not always doing everything on my own, would be nice.
JORDAN: I’ll take you bowling.
ANGELA: [Deadpan] Terrific. __ Anyway, it’s your prom.
JORDAN: [Confused] What’dya mean?
ANGELA: [Slight lip smack] It’s for juniors and seniors.
JORDAN: Huh. [Angela’s jaw shifts as she considers Jordan, wondering just what exactly his day to day interaction with the world around him looks like from his vantage point. He sees her looking at him] What?
ANGELA: [Shakes her head out of it] Nothing.
JORDAN: What? You really want to go?
ANGELA: I didn’t say that.
JORDAN: [Half amused by the seeming ridiculousness of it] Is this, like, an ‘ambition’ of yours? [She rolls her eyes]
ANGELA: I didn’t even bring it up. Why are you mocking me? [Jordan shoves her good naturedly, still smiling to himself]
JORDAN: It’s so easy. [In response she purses her lips and makes big eyes as if to say ’I’m pretending you’re amusing.’ This also makes him laugh. Tino appears, slapping a hand on Jordan’s shoulder]
Screen shot 2012-04-03 at 7.09.22 PM.jpg
TINO: Hey party people. [Jordan and Angela shift imperceptibly to change the space to welcome Tino. Angela smiles.] What’s the word? _ J-Town, [Jordan rolls his eyes; in certain moods, Tino can’t resist creating off the cuff handles for Jordan, calling him anything but his name] pro-om is o-on. [Jordan’s confused; Angela laughs]
JORDAN: What’dya mean? [Looking behind him and back at Tino] Did’ya just--
TINO: [Turning to Angela, affecting concern] What’s he on about?
ANGELA: He’d just finished saying, prom “isn’t his deal”.
TINO: [Mock indignation] Not his “deal”? [Turning on Jordan, who exhales and rolls his eyes at having to be the focus of Tino’s bravado] “Not your deal”? Catalano. Are you alive? Are you still with us? Prom -- is everybody’s “deal”. [Cutting Jordan off before he even formulates a response] You’re going. _ Settled.
JORDAN: How come?
TINO: [Mock expression of shock that he would be questioned, then answers in an authentically stern tone] First, I said so. Second, [Indicating Angela] you’re only half this equation; don’t bully her to be a sad sack killjoy like yourself. And, thirdly, if 80’s cinema has taught us nothing, it’s ‘don’t mess with prom.’ You want to see your future kids fade away in some photo ‘cuz you were too cool and messed with the space time continuum? Butterfly effect. One Jordan Catalano minus one prom equals me pissed, equals CHAOS. [Jordan’s lost. Not being as well versed in 80’s pop culture as most, or chaos theory. Tino flaps an elbow in Angela’s direction] Back me up. [Angela smiles mildly, at a loss for what to say or how to position herself on the issue. Tino glances at her, surprised she hasn’t said anything then moves on, taking up the cause himself once again.] You’ve made your girl afraid to have an opinion.
JORDAN: [Good natured smirk] Never.
TINO: [To Angela] He’s kinda mouthy.
ANGELA: [Pulling her backpack straps] Listen, you work it out. [To Jordan] I’m in if you’re in. [She does a small wave and heads back to main campus]
TINO: He’s in. [She turns back with a smile, acknowledging the remark, but not taking it for truth. Jordan turns to his friend as Tino packs and lights a cigarette.]
Screen shot 2012-04-03 at 7.10.12 PM.jpg
JORDAN: You had to do that.
TINO: [Unfazed, and possibly a bit self-satisfied] It’ll be good for you. [Jordan rolls his eyes.]
Last edited by Jody Barsch* on Apr 15th 2012, 7:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Kickstart The Riches movie!

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