Help developing certain character storylines

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Jody Barsch*
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Re: Help developing certain character storylines

Post by Jody Barsch* » Apr 3rd 2012, 10:22 pm

Angela with Patty, getting ready for the dance.]
Screen shot 2012-04-03 at 7.10.43 PM.jpg

ANGELA: Mom, It’s not a big deal.
PATTY: Angela, if you don’t want to go, you don’t have to. We can take the dress back; but, if you want to go, it’s okay to get excited. _ Is this about Jordan?
ANGELA: …Why do you say that?
PATTY: I think, maybe -- maybe, that you think this isn’t his type of thing, and so you don’t want to get too excited yourself.
ANGELA: [Quickly shutting her mother down] That’s not it. __ [Starting again, a little more honest] Do you think…
PATTY: Angela, don’t over think it; you’re supposed to be having fun. [Standing back and admiring her] Look at you. You’re beautiful.
ANGELA: Mom.
PATTY: Angela, you’re beautiful. Where’s Daddy?

* * *

[Angela opens the door to Jordan waiting on the front porch. She smiles, but is casual and nonchalant in her welcome.]
ANGELA: Hi. [Patty appears behind Angela, still holding the door open]
PATTY: Jordan! Come in!
JORDAN: [Greeting Angela as he enters] Hey.
PATTY: [To Jordan] Don’t kill me, I need pictures. Graham! [Danielle trots down the stairs and lingers on the landing. While Patty searches for the camera, Jordan leans in to Angela]
JORDAN: Hey; you look, beautiful. [She smiles]
ANGELA: Is it too? I know this isn’t your thing.
JORDAN: [Shrugs] You look good. [He kisses her] It could be cool. [Patty has the camera now and they move just a little apart]
GRAHAM: [Coming in from the office] Jordan, hey.
JORDAN: Hi.
PATTY: Okay, smile -- you both look great -- okay, 1, 2, 3. One more. [Jordan’s a little stiff, and not quite smiling; Angela is smiling, but not going overboard -- she’s pleased, but not taking the evening too seriously. Patty snaps a second and third photo; Jordan blinks at the flash and rubs his eyes]
DANIELLE: Where’s the flower?
ANGELA: Stop it. [Jordan doesn’t get that this is about him]
PATTY: Danielle.
DANIELLE: Isn’t there supposed to be a corsage?
ANGELA: [Abruptly] Okay, we’re going. [To Jordan] Don’t worry about it. [He wasn’t; she grabs her sweater]
GRAHAM: So uh, 11:00? [Angela makes a face indicating she doesn’t even remotely take this seriously] 10:30?
PATTY: 12:00 is fine. And, driving carefully? Yes?
JORDAN: [Angela nudges Jordan] Yes.
ANGELA: Okay, bye.
GRAHAM: Have fun. [They head down her front walk to his car]
ANGELA: I like the jacket.
JORDAN: Think it’ll do?
ANGELA: It looks great.
JORDAN: Not all that formal.
ANGELA: [Shrugs] It’s a high school prom, what do they want?

[Sitting in Jordan’s car, still on her street]
Screen shot 2012-04-03 at 7.14.45 PM.jpg
ANGELA: Are you cool with this?
JORDAN: [He ignores her question] This is for you. [He hands her a corsage; she’s taken aback]
ANGELA: It’s beautiful. You didn’t have to. _ Thank you.
JORDAN: Tino picked it. __ I didn’t know it was a thing.
ANGELA: I have one for you, but, if…
JORDAN: [Jordan leans in and kisses her] Why not.
ANGELA: [She looks at him, a little bemused and incredulous] Look at you tonight. [(Meaning his attitude) -- she pins it on, looks at it, and gives him a light peck on the lips. As she moves away he kisses her for real] What’re the odds Tino actually makes it?
JORDAN: [Starting his car] No one knows.
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Re: Help developing certain character storylines

Post by Jody Barsch* » Apr 3rd 2012, 10:25 pm

[At the dance, Associate Principal Mr. Wilson observes the scene with his wife. He subtly points out the students she’s heard stories about.]
Screen shot 2012-04-03 at 7.20.44 PM.jpg
AP’S WIFE: Ah, another high school dance.
A. PRINCIPAL: Do you see that kid over there? That is Jordan Catalano.
AP’S WIFE: He looks a little lost. Do I get to meet him?
A. PRINCIPAL: Be prepared, he doesn’t love talking with adults.
AP’S WIFE: [Teasing nudge] I wonder he talks to you.
A. PRINCIPAL: Yeah, well, “talking”, that’s debatable. [She laughs.]
Screen shot 2012-04-03 at 7.13.33 PM.jpg
A. PRINCIPAL: Jordan!
JORDAN: Hey.
A. PRINCIPAL: [Smiling] Angela. You look lovely.
ANGELA: Hi…
A. PRINCIPAL: [To his wife] This is Angela Chase and the sharply dressed Jordan Catalano. This is my wife Samia.
AP’S WIFE: [Smiling] Hello, very nice to meet you.
A. PRINCIPAL: Prom. Big night. Making good choices? Staying sober? No hotel rooms? [Embarrassed Angela turns her face towards Jordan’s shoulder, then looks away, turning her body as well.]
AP’S WIFE: [Samia chuckles and playfully hits his shoulder.] Stop it. [To Jordan] I’m sorry.
ANGELA: I’ll be with Sadie. [To the adults] Bye.
AP’S WIFE: Have a good night Angela. [To Jordan] Sorry. [To her husband, leaning in] I’m going to say hello to Theresa. Nice to meet you, Jordan. [She leaves them.]
A. PRINCIPAL: I’m proud of you.
JORDAN: Stop.
A. PRINCIPAL: ‘Prom’. It’s not such a big deal; but, you’re happy, you’re out there. That’s big.
JORDAN: [Ignoring this, commenting instead on Wilson’s wife] She’s pretty.
A. PRINCIPAL: Didn’t think I could pull it off? [Jordan laughs] Have a good night.
JORDAN: Yeah.

* * *

[End of the night, outside the dance]
Screen shot 2012-04-03 at 7.17.43 PM.jpg
TINO: [To Jordan and Angela (and anyone else with them)] So, what’s the plan? [To his date, speaking into the top of her head as she’s snuggled against his chest] Where you wanna go? [She murmurs something into his chest]
JORDAN: [Indicating Angela with his shoulder] I gotta take her home.
TINO: [Reacting in a good natured appalled way] Aw, Angela, c’mon! The night is young, your boy’s dressed up, your hair’s all gussied; come out and play!
ANGELA: Hey, if you wanna talk to my parents, I’m game.
TINO: Hell yeah I’ll talk to Mr. -- [Interrupts himself to consult with Jordan] which one’s scarier?
JORDAN: Mrs. [Angela looks back at Jordan; she kind of smirks]
TINO: -- Mrs. Chase.
ANGELA: [Pulling on her sweater] Well, good luck with that.
TINO: Does she not like him? Is that the problem? [Leaning in a bit, like it was just between her and him] Is it because he doesn’t talk? [Mock whispering] Or is it the hair? [Tino’s date quietly chuckles about the hair comment.]
JORDAN: [Jordan, standing behind Angela, has draped his arms over her for support, lounges his head on hers. He speaks drawn out, like he’s bored of saying It so many times] We’ve _ got _ to _ go.
TINO: [Speaking as if confidentially to his date (still to the top of her head), though Jordan and Angela can clearly hear him] We’re cutting into their good-byes.
T’s DATE: ‘Parking’.
JORDAN: [Amused by his friend, but losing his patience for just standing around, he straightens up, laying hold of Angela’s shoulders, speaking with more gumption] We’re leaving.
TINO: [In a mock historian narration] Let it be said, that on this night, a parent’s over-protectiveness -- [in a lower tone] however justified it might be -- [voice clearing and returning to his original narrative tone] got in the way of a child’s fun. [In a rushed appendix] (Not to mention her date’s.)
JORDAN: [Doing a hand shake, shoulder clutchthing with Tino as he and Angela start to move out] Yeah, that’s one for the history books.
ANGELA: [Angela places her hand on the date’s back] Goodnight. Tino. [Hugging Tino; he kisses her cheek]
TINO: You look very Bardot Chase. [Not that Jordan cares, but he didn’t get that at all. Tino lights a cigarette, inhales, then tucks it in his date’s mouth, who’s back in his arms.] Well, it is a night to remember -- Jordan Catalano went to prom.
JORDAN: What’s that mean?
TINO: Buddy, you’re so ‘too cool for school’ you barely go to school. [Amused, but not quite getting Tino’s actual meaning, Jordan shakes his head]
JORDAN: See you tomorrow. [To the date] Later. [Takes Angela’s hand. Tino pretends to look at a watch and calls after them--] Eighteen -- no -- seventeen minutes! [Without turning round Jordan holds up a hand as a motionless wave in response.]

* * *

[In his car, outside her house]
ANGELA: I had a really good time.
JORDAN: Yeah.
ANGELA: __ Thank you.
JORDAN: _ Sure.
ANGELA: [Biting her lip through a smile] What’re you doing now?
JORDAN: I don’t know.
ANGELA: Catch up with Tino?
JORDAN: Maybe. Doubt it. Alone time. _ Shane’s got somethin’ going.
ANGELA: I didn’t see him tonight. [Jordan silently chuckles]
JORDAN: Shane, uh…
ANGELA: Doesn’t do well, with the ladies?
JORDAN: He does well, for a couple hours.
ANGELA: Couldn’t get a date?
JORDAN: Couldn’t keep one. [Angela looks Jordan, holding his gaze.]
JORDAN: Listen -- [He kisses her. After they eventually break away, she waits, eyes wide expecting him to finish his sentence, but he just happily studies her face.]
ANGELA: So, was it dumb of us to go?
JORDAN: Who knows.
ANGELA: It didn’t feel too dumb…
JORDAN: [Eyeing her strapless neckline] The dress wasn’t dumb. [Angela smiles slowly. She leans in to kiss her boyfriend. In not much time the center divider is no longer dividing them. The car’s windows steam as her skirt lifts higher, his neckline widens, and hers is compromised. Her hands hold his head to hers while his entangle in secret explorations in fabric, elastic, and skin. Angela can hardly catch her breath, Jordan can hardly stop himself. _ At 12:11 she reluctantly pulls away. She rolls her eyes] Curfew.
JORDAN: It’s cool. [Leans in, about to kiss her] I’ll see you Monday.
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Re: Help developing certain character storylines

Post by Jody Barsch* » Apr 3rd 2012, 10:34 pm

I'd be worried that the pictures were taking it too far, but writing fanfic in the first place is already me dorking out, so, why not? If it's a copyright issue Sascha, I'll delete them. Really I just wanted to see if/how it would work. :roll:
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Re: Help developing certain character storylines

Post by Jody Barsch* » Apr 4th 2012, 12:49 am

Another vignette -- takes place during the series...

[Jordan dropping Rayanne off after the ‘betrayal’. Rayanne’s lightly dozing with her head leaning against the cool of the passenger side window. Jordan has a general idea of where she lives, but isn’t sure of the building. He slows down.]
JORDAN: Which one? __ Rayanne -- which one? __ [A little less gruff] Graff.
RAYANNE: [Rayanne -- emotionless -- speaks before fully opening her eyes] Stop. [He pulls over. Mostly he’s looking straight ahead (his eyes closed some -- he is still drunk himself), but as she grasps for her bag their eyes do momentarily meet. They both immediately look away. She shuts the door loudly behind her and climbs her steps. Jordan’s left watching her leave, seeing his passenger seat now empty. He reflects on the events that unfolded that night, and can only shut his eyes and exhale in response.]
JORDAN: Christ. [He drives off]


[The next morning after the “betrayal” Jordan drives to Tino’s house. He parks, lops up the pathway, let’s himself through the side gate into the backyard, and then enters the back door. Jordan ducks his head into the TV room, sees it empty then enters the kitchen. Tino’s standing, half dressed in a towel wrapped around his waist, still wet from his shower, drinking coffee and eating oatmeal. He’s sipping his coffee when he sees Jordan. With a friendly head nod, Tino tosses an apple at Jordan, who, though looking a little uncomfortable, catches it one handed with ease.]
TINO: [Affably] What’s going on? [Jordan’s distracted, or not quite sure how to say what he has to say. He doesn’t answer.] Where’d you go last night?
JORDAN: Huh?
TINO: What happened to you? You never showed at Nate’s. [He sits atop the kitchen counter, still eating his oatmeal; Jordan remains a bit stiff. His apprehension puts him on the defense.]
JORDAN: So? [Amused and curious, Tino throws up his hands, mock surrendering; Jordan continues on the defensive] You’re never where you say you’ll be.
TINO: [Shaking his head with a chuckle] It’s too early for this. What’s going on brother? [Jordan rolls his eyes] Sumin’ happ’n at Louie’s?
JORDAN: Got drunk.
TINO: I’ll alert the media.
JORDAN: [Head down, looking up through his hair] Ran into Rayanne Graff. [Tino’s getting bored -- this story is taking too long and is going nowhere.]
TINO: And? [Tino’s off the counter, his back to Jordan, rinsing his bowl and taking another swig of coffee.]
JORDAN: That’s it. _ Didn’t make it to Nate’s.
TINO: [Tino had ever so slightly paused as he realized what filled the gaps in Jordan’s story; then, reanimated, he dumps his remaining coffee down the drain] ‘Cuz last night you got drunk and ran into Rayanne Graff.
JORDAN: Yeah.
TINO: So, she was drunk, too.
JORDAN: _ Not too.
TINO: And she got home…?
JORDAN: [Slightly impatient] I gave her a ride.
TINO: [A brief pause, then lightening the mood, while still not actually light] No drunk driving talk in Mommy’s kitchen.
JORDAN: [Undeterred] We cool? You’re asking me questions like I’m an asshole.
TINO: [Moving again, finally really looking at Jordan, Tino pours Jordan a mug of coffee.] It’s Rayanne who always thought you were an asshole. _ [Shoving the sugar bowl in Jordan’s direction] So, I guess it really is over with Angela Chase.
JORDAN: Why do you say that? [Compensating for his slip, Jordan takes a gulp of coffee -- can’t seem too concerned, but Tino already caught it. Jordan proceeds with nonchalance.] That was weeks ago, or more.
TINO: [Playing along] Yeah. [Tino raises his brows at Jordan, then pulls on a grey tee from a pile of clean laundry on the kitchen table. Tino changes gears.] You going to school? [Jordan nods. Tino walks past him into a small laundry room, mumbling something about how Jordan should eat something – ‘if he was that drunk his gut must feel like hell’. While out of the room he pulls items from the still-running-dryer and finishes dressing. Jordan, still not quite at ease, paces a bit as he waits, scratching his head. Impatient, over the noise of the appliance calls out.]
JORDAN: Tino?
TINO: [Tino reenters directly, speaking in a reserved volume that marks the difference from Jordan’s] If Rayanne’s cool, I’m cool. _ [Holding Jordan’s eye contact] I’m assuming she’s cool. [Everything settled, Tino moves on with his morning. Carrying socks, boots, Jordan’s untouched apple, and snatching up his keys, Tino leads the way out of his house. Now jovially needling his friend (while still making his point).] It’s Angela I feel for. Would-not-like-to-be-her.
JORDAN: Shut up.
TINO: Boy, Catalano, I tell you what; you’ve been doing some pretty out of character things lately. [Outside with no coat] Christ it’s cold. [He reaches in and grabs a navy Dickies jacket from a rack before slamming the door.]

[At school, later that day (after Rayannne and Jordan speak in the hallway). During lunch, Jordan and Tino sit on the trunk of the Plymouth.]
TINO: I’m not getting a ‘why’, am I? [Jordan’s expression’s blank, he doesn’t have one.] It’s all over school.
JORDAN: [Looking up, alarmed. Tino shakes his head, it was a joke] _ You talk to ‘er?
TINO: I’m not talking to her; not for you. You talk to her.
JORDAN: [Slow head bob] I did. _______ You were never really together.
TINO: No…
JORDAN: I mean, you don’t really like her.
TINO: I like her more than you do. [Jordan thinks for a minute about how that’s true.] She’s my friend.
JORDAN: I know.
TINO: _ [Changing gears] You working tonight? [Jordan nods] My brakes’re doing this, thing.
JORDAN: [Sedately, still preoccupied] Yeah, I can do that. _ Joey was with her.
TINO: [Unimpressed] Oh, come on man. You could be better than that. [Rising, speaking with purpose but not unfriendly.] Clean it up and we’re okay. [He pats Jordan on the back and heads off.]


[Towards the end of the day Tino finds Rayanne.]
TINO: Hey.
RAYANNE: Hey.
TINO: You okay? [Rayanne’s facial expression skips past having to react with initial feigned naiveté.] _ No one else knows. If, that’s a concern…
RAYANNE: Why would that be a concern?… ‘Most slut potential’ and all… I mean, who would be surprised?
TINO: I was.
RAYANNE: So, what, you picking sides now?
TINO: There’s no sides.
RAYANNE: __ [Looking up only after the question’s been asked] Is he going tell her?
TINO: Are you?
RAYANNE: Oh, totally. [Mumbles] ‘Cuz that wouldn’t be too self-destructive.
TINO: Think you’ve done that. In spades.
RAYANNE: [Not looking up] Mad?
TINO: [Ironic] Furious. __ Just, minimize the crazy.


[Days or weeks later, on the street outside the loft, Jordan talks to Tino about Angela knowing…]
JORDAN: She won’t talk to me.
TINO: Surprised by that? _ I told you.
JORDAN: Yeah, but, she won’t even look at me.
TINO: [Speaking rhetorically] So? You didn’t want to be with her. [Jordan starts to say something along the lines of ‘it wasn’t really about not wanting to be with her’, but Tino addresses it before Jordan gets a word out.] Okay, you didn’t want to be with her in a compromise.
JORDAN: So? We were still--
TINO: ‘Friends’? How long was that going to last?
JORDAN: [Irritated] Isn’t it maybe, making it too big of a deal?
TINO: Maybe. [This is what Jordan wanted to hear, but Tino’s not done.] Would it be too big a deal if I’d slept with Angela Chase?
JORDAN: Huh?
TINO: __ You heard me.
JORDAN: Why would you say that?
TINO: Don’t kid yourself; it could happen.
JORDAN: _ She wouldn’t do that.
TINO: She might now. [Tino raises his brows] But how would you feel?
JORDAN: Yeah, I’d be pissed. But it wouldn’t be the same thing.
TINO: It’d be close enough.
JORDAN: So what do I do?
TINO: Talk to her. [Jordan scowls -- this isn’t helpful -- she won’t talk to him] So, forget it. __ That girl Natasha keeps asking me about you.
JORDAN: [Reflex] Who? [Moves on, he doesn’t actually care.] How’d she find out? [Tino shrugs. Disgusted with himself, Jordan continues, reflecting on his situation – he can’t believe himself] Rayanne Graff…
Last edited by Jody Barsch* on May 8th 2012, 1:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Help developing certain character storylines

Post by Jody Barsch* » Apr 4th 2012, 1:10 am

Tino quits the band -- set during the series.

[Frozen Embryo practice in the loft]
TINO: [Tino stops mid song, looks around] This is crap. ___ [Either because no one responded in the way he wanted, or because the thought just struck him and why not entertain the impulse, he unshoulders his guitar and swings it into the bass drum. He stands, looking at his mayhem, then a moment later speaks pretty evenhandedly.] I’m done.
JOEY: [Outraged] What the--?! Tino!
JORDAN: Tino-- [Tino walks out without another thought]
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Re: Help developing certain character storylines

Post by Jody Barsch* » Mar 22nd 2013, 1:54 am

Doubt anyones' still coming around this old thread, but just in case:
After years of being active here (and much love to all the fellow readers and writers) I started posting at fanfiction.net (And who would believe, it, I've transferred everything from script format over to narrative -- a slow, but beneficial process!) Some of what I've posted here is up there, but a lot of what is there I never posted here. The AU story of Angela's pregnancy has been revised and added to (*esp. NEW scene with TINO!). I've also been posting small vignettes, little snapshots of the characters' lives before, during, and after the show (into adulthood, marriages, kids). After never writing him into stories for years, Tino's become my favorite character to write. Come visit if you want, would love to hear from you. [All pieces still works in progress though, always going back and revising]

Login's the same but my asterisk's just for here! :mrgreen:
http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1039807/Jody-Barsch
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