Instant Messaging Dating?

[andrewgd]

Maybe you could make her a mix CD with all her favorite songs

Most of her favorite songs are things I've never ever ever heard of. All indie stuff I suppose. The trouble with indie music is that you kinda need a friend that knows about it to introduce you to it, and I've never had a friend into it. Maybe now's my chance?

It should be interesting asking her about the different groups and songs she likes anyways.

[lance]

Andrewgd,

Glad that the date worked out. Are you going to the barbeque?

Best,

Lance Man

[andrewgd]

Are you going to the barbeque?

Like, duh! Although it is like a month away...

But there's nothing like meeting a really cool person, and then not being able to talk or do anything with them for another 5 days, minimum. She left for the beginning of the weekend and I'll be gone to relatives the second half...grrrr

Well, I know what I'll be thinking about during the 8 hours in the car I'll be spending this weekend. :

[lance]

Are you going to the barbeque?

Like, duh! Although it is like a month away...

But there's nothing like meeting a really cool person, and then not being able to talk or do anything with them for another 5 days, minimum. She left for the beginning of the weekend and I'll be gone to relatives the second half...grrrr

Well, I know what I'll be thinking about during the 8 hours in the car I'll be spending this weekend. :

So absence does not make the heart grow fonder? Just more frustrated?

On the plus side the weekend is almost up so you should hear from her soon.

Best,

Lance Man

[andrewgd]

Hmm, about the pbf (from the livejournal you all made me read! I blame you! kidding ):

"Also, I miss him very much, and it was the perfect excuse to go see him. He's not perfect, that boy, but he is really such a kind, sweet, just all around GOOD person. Man, I finally found a keeper, and I had to leave him."

And big long entry and no mention of the dinner or movie. Hmm.

Blah, I spend the drive thinking how cool it would be to really go out with her, and come back to that entry. Oh well. Still, hopes are up..we'll see!

[Natasha (candygirl)]

Well I'm sure that pbf knows about the livejournal so she wouldn't write about your date until she is sure about her feelings for you - from her point of view, why stir up a hornet's nest until she's sure it's worth the trouble?

It's also easy (and common) to idealize someone once he is gone (or at least demoted from a bf to a pbf). I think the fact that she asked if you wanted to go to the bbq is a very positive sign - her friends will be there, meaning she wants you to meet them!

[andrewgd]

Well I'm sure that pbf knows about the livejournal so she wouldn't write about your date until she is sure about her feelings for you

Actually, a few hours after I made that post, I made that exact realization myself. And then she got online, and we talked about music for a bit, and she told me she'd make me a mix cd, and asked me to make her one too. So...YAY! Thats pretty cool.

I want to apologize because this thread has sorta become my online journal iteslf. Perhaps its a little narcissistic (sp?) of me, but its definitely interesting putting this stuff out there. And its not like a livejournal where people I know can get to it and read it. Well, they can, but the chances are slimmer.

I guess if you don't want to hear my ramblings, you don't need to read, right?

[Natasha (candygirl)]

Hey, that's why the forum is called Your So-Called Life!

[lance]

Hey, that's why the forum is called Your So-Called Life!

Exactly. Write on Andrewgd, write on.



Best,

Lance Man

[ducksqueak]

I must admit that I have been waiting in the wings and enjoying the soap opera. Don't feel guilty. It's entertaining. I wish the best to you. Don't get worried about her not mentioning you in the Live Journal. Sometimes those things can get you in to trouble with pbfs or friends or what have you. When she's dumped the pbf, which hopefully she will, you'll have plenty of your own entries.

[andrewgd]

Mmm...warm fuzzy feelings! Even if this doesn't go anywhere, its still fun. Maybe I'll explain later.

------------------
Its later.
We chatted for a while on AIM. She actually agreed to go to Borders Sunday to just browse around with me. They've got a coffee bar, so we can sit there and chat a bit. We talked for quite a while. It was pretty cool. This time she mentioned her "boyfriend". No psuedo. Oh well, like I keep saying, we'll see. It'll be cool if something happens, and if not, it'll be cool just to hang out with her (as long as I don't get too attached, is that possible for me? I dunno...)

I love AIM+. I can go through and read the whole thing again. We joked around a bit more, poking fun at ourselves and eachother a little. Its hard, getting to know someone, what their sensibilities are. Can you make fun of "The Church", Republicans, goths, gearheads, jocks? Can you swear? The list goes on and on. I mean, what if I mention that I can't stand sports and think they're a waste of school money (just an example, not an actual beleif) and it turns out she played soccer and went onto state finals?

I guess that's what dating is about. Finding out these things so you can figure out if you want to be with someone with their beleifs and sensibilities.

...and now I'm rambling. Goodnight.

[andrewgd]

Well, it was pretty fun just walking around, looking at books and music together. She did end up mentioning her boyfriend about 8 times though. No "psuedo" or "boyfriend/friend". Oh well. I'm hoping at least we'll get to spend more time together. We'll see I guess.

[fnordboy]

Well its good to see that you are getting along, though the dropping of the "pseudo" kind of puts me off. Makes me think either she is not interested in you as more than a friend or she is unsure of herself at this point and is playing it safe.

It does look like you are beginning to forge a good friendship, which may or may not go into other realms of possibilities. You/we will have to just wait and see

[lance]

Well, it was pretty fun just walking around, looking at books and music together. She did end up mentioning her boyfriend about 8 times though. No "psuedo" or "boyfriend/friend". Oh well. I'm hoping at least we'll get to spend more time together. We'll see I guess.

Cool,

Glad you had a good time. I think you have great perspective, just enjoy the moment and have fun.

Best,

Lance Man

[pgh kenny]

I like this thread - it reminds me of all the fun uncertainties of meeting a new girl w/ pbf. Now that I'm happily married I guess I'll have to live vicariously through your story here :)

Just be careful to keep your love for mscl on the downlow... I think it would be ackward if she stumbled upon this discussion.

Have you googled her to try to find out more about her beyond her livejournal?

When I google myself, it's scary how much you could find out about me.

I wouldn't worry about pbf - the rate of change of love for a bf is inversely related to distance for distances greater than 60 miles. If anyone likes math / computer programming, this is the weird thought that came into my mind when I was thinking about pbf, mostly based on personal experience. The distance in my case was several thousand miles so the loop below didn't last long before I got dumped. It all worked out for the best though - I met my wife because of the long distance relationship gone awry.

THEORY
If Distance < 60
dLove/dt = 0
Else
dLove/dt = - Distance
EndIf

Integrating:

APPLIED THEORY
other_guy = bf

While Love > 0
Begin {While}
If Distance < 60
Love = InitialLove
ElseIf
Love = InitialLove - Distance * Time
EndIf

If Love < 0.25*InitialLove
other_guy = pbf
EndIf

End {While}

other_guy = x-bf

(This assessment is based on the assumption that all other things remain constant so if (p)bf wins a million dollars on some reality show, all bets are off!)