After 10 Plus Years?

Discussion and questions about the FanFiction section of MSCL.com. You can also post excerpts of your unfinished stories here if you're looking for feedback or ideas.
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TomSpeed
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Post by TomSpeed » Mar 10th 2003, 2:35 pm

Part Twenty-Two – Reunion Morning



Location: Chase house, early Saturday morning. Camille has come to visit Patty. Patty is talking to Camille at the kitchen table. Graham is in the basement working out. Angela is still asleep in her bedroom.

Camille – Sharon has me helping out setting up the reunion stuff. I don’t know why I agreed to help. I could be still sleeping in bed with Andy. Or not sleeping with Andy.

Patty – Camille. It’s too early to talk about sex.

Camille – It’s never too early to talk about sex.

Patty – More coffee?

Camille – Please.

(Patty gets up to refill their coffee cups.)

Patty – So, how is Andy doing?

(Camille raps the table.)

Camille – No sign of another heart attack.

(Patty sits back down.)

Patty – That is good news.

Camille – So, how is Angela? I can’t get over that story she wrote. It was so visceral. The wife kills her husband with a hammer. I wonder how she came up with that story.

Patty – Who knows? I think it might have been about Shelby, her ex-fiancé.

Camille – Well, I wouldn’t want to get on Angela’s bad side.

(Graham comes upstairs into the kitchen from the basement. He is sweating from working out.)

Graham – Hi Camille. I thought I heard you up here. How are you doing?

Camille – I’m fine.

(Graham goes to the refrigerator to get some orange juice. He sits at the table.)

Camille – You are working out again, Graham?

Graham – I’m trying to stay in shape.

Camille – You mean you need to keep up with Patty?

Graham – You could say that.

(Patty scowls jokingly at Graham.)

(Angela enters the kitchen. She is wearing a jade robe.)

Angela – I thought I smelled coffee. [To Camille] Hi Camille. How are you today?

Camille – I’m fine. Oh, I should tell you that Sharon will probably be calling any minute to beg you to help with last minute preparations for the reunion.

(Telephone rings.)

Angela – That’s probably her now.

(Angela answers the telephone.)

Angela – Hello. Hi Sharon.
TomSpeed

Patty: If Rayanne's not seeing you, and we're not seeing you, who is seeing you?
Graham: And how much of you?
Angela: Dad!
Graham: Oh, I'm sorry! I asked a question about your life, didn't I? Woah, what came over me?
http://www.last.fm/user/TomSpeed/

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TomSpeed
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Post by TomSpeed » Mar 10th 2003, 4:55 pm

Part Twenty-Three – Is Angela Home?


Location: Chase house, an hour later. Angela has gone to the school to help Sharon. Camille and Patty are still in the kitchen. Graham is upstairs.

(Someone knocks on the front door. Patty leaves the kitchen to answer the door. Camille follows. Patty opens the door. Brian is at the door.)

Patty – Well, it’s Brian Krakow. Hello.

Brian – Hi Mrs. Chase.

Camille – Hi Brian.

Brian – Hi Mrs. Cherski.

Patty – Come in Brian.

(Brian enters the house. Patty closes the door.)

(Graham comes down the stairs.)

Graham – Oh, hi Brian.

Brian – Hi Mr. Chase.

Graham – We heard you were in town.

Patty – You are in town for the reunion?

Brian – Yes. [Pause] [To Patty] Is Angela home?

Patty – No. She went to the school to help Sharon with setting up things for the reunion.

Camille – Actually, I’m going there myself. I can give you a lift.

Brian – No, that’s OK. I have a car.

Camille – Good. You can help them for awhile. Tell them I’ll be there in a bit. I think they are in the gym hanging streamers or something.

Patty – I love Angela’s streamers.

Camille – I know. They’re great.

Graham – So, Brian, do you want some coffee, juice, or anything else?

Brian – No thank you. [Pause] I think I’m going to the school to help out.

Camille – Great. Be sure to let them know I’ll be right there.

Brian – OK. See you later, Mr. and Mrs. Chase and Mrs. Cherski.

(Brian turns and leaves.)

Camille – He looks like a man eager to be somewhere.

Graham – Yes, he does.

Camille – How does that make you feel, Graham?

Graham – I used to like Brian Krakow.

Patty – I don’t think he is going there to help with streamers.
TomSpeed

Patty: If Rayanne's not seeing you, and we're not seeing you, who is seeing you?
Graham: And how much of you?
Angela: Dad!
Graham: Oh, I'm sorry! I asked a question about your life, didn't I? Woah, what came over me?
http://www.last.fm/user/TomSpeed/

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TomSpeed
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Post by TomSpeed » Mar 10th 2003, 10:17 pm

Part Twenty-Four – A Mulligan


Location: Liberty High Gymnasium, Reunion Day. Angela and Sharon are taking a break from hanging streamers and banners. Their jeans, T-shirts, faces, and arms are dirty and sweaty. Their hair is disheveled.

Angela – OK. I didn’t fly halfway across the country to do manual labor. It’s not in my contract.

Sharon – Speaking of contract, I know all of my lines. You can stop reminding me. I will perform perfectly.

Angela – Where’s Rayanne when I need her? I can’t take an actress with attitude.

Sharon – Would Rayanne be in this gym working her butt off to make it look right?

Angela – No, she wouldn’t be here. We’d be sitting by her pool at her apartment. I might even be swimming.

Angela – I’m dying of thirst. Do you want something to drink?

Sharon – Sure, you can get me anything diet. Do you need money?

Angela – No, it will be my treat.

(Angela exits through the set of doors closer to them. Brian enters through the doors on the other side of the gymnasium.)

Brian – Hey Cherski!

(Sharon jumps.)

Sharon – Brian, you scared me. Didn’t your mother ever tell you not to sneak up on people?

Brian – She probably has a few times. I didn’t know I would scare you though.

Sharon – Hello! I’m alone in a gymnasium. Someone calls out, “Hey Cherski!” What am I supposed to do?

Brian – You are alone? I thought Angela was here.

Sharon – She is here, but she went to get some drinks.

Brian – OK.

Sharon – Oh, I forgot to tell you that I got married. It’s not Cherski anymore. It’s Cherski-Melton. I just got into the habit of using my maiden name when I made the calls for the reunion. Some people didn’t know who Sharon Cherski-Melton was.

Brian – Congratulations! I didn’t know that you had gotten married. Whom did you marry?

Sharon – Eric Melton. We met at Penn State.

Brian – That’s great!

Sharon – Yes, it is great! Anyway, if you call me Cherski-Melton instead of Sharon, I’ll have to hit you. You have an odd habit of calling me by my last name every now and again. It’s annoying.

Brian – OK, I didn’t notice. Didn’t you used to call me Krakow half of the time?

Sharon – Yes –

(Angela enters the gymnasium from the doors on the opposite side of the gym. She is holding two cans of soda in her hands. She is rubbing one can of soda along her face.)

Angela – I got most of the dirt cleaned off of my face and hands. It’s hot. My hair is a – (She sees Brian.) mess.

(Sharon begins to speak as if she is reading from cue card.)

Sharon – Angela Chase of Clemson, South Carolina, I’d like to introduce to you Brian Krakow of Atlanta, Georgia. I believe that you live very close to one another.

(Brian extends his hand towards Angela.)

Sharon – Guys, look, I spent the last hour or so rehearsing that stupid line. I wasn’t expecting to have to say it now anyway. The least you could do is hug or kiss or something. A handshake isn’t going to cut it.

(Sharon gently shoves Brian towards Angela. Angela and Brian both look at Sharon. They smile. Brian moves to hug Angela. She moves to hug Brian. They hug tentatively at first. Then they hug each other more closely. They kiss tentatively at first. Then they kiss more strongly.)

Sharon – Finally!

(Sharon begins to walk away.)

Sharon – I’m out of here until they turn on the air-conditioning.

(Sharon turns back to them. They are still hugging.)

Sharon – Are you guys coming or what?



Part Twenty-Five – For I Have Seen the Future and the Future is Now


Location: Chase house, late reunion night. Angela is asleep in her bed. Her VO* narrates the dream.

I’m dreaming. Smoke is billowing around me. It clears here and there, and I can see little segments of my life. It’s like watching a movie at a drive-in with fog rolling in. I have no strong sense of time.

I see Brian and me on a wooden observation deck overlooking waterfalls near Clemson. This is one of my favorite places in the world. It’s raining. We are drenched, because the leaves of the trees that cover us like a canopy cannot stop the rain. We don’t care because we are happy. Rain clouds and fog mostly blot out the mountains in the distance. Brian is on one knee.

Smoke billows and clears. We are in Pittsburgh. Brian and I are standing before an altar. I am wearing a white wedding dress. Brian is wearing a black tuxedo. Rickie is marrying us. Danielle is my maiden of honor. My Dad is giving me away. One of Brian's friends from Atlanta is his best man. Mom is crying. Brian’s parents are not here. Brian’s dad broke his leg while they were on vacation in Mexico. They want us to go ahead with the wedding. Everyone else I can think of is here except Jordan.

Smoke billows and clears again. Brian and I are at the Pittsburgh airport. We are going to Paris for our honeymoon. I’ve never been out of the country. I’m nervous about the flight. I’m also nervous about our wedding night. The plane needs a new engine. We have to book a room in a hotel at the airport. I’m nervous and scared. I’m also in love. Brian loves me, too. He is strong, yet gentle. I feel secure in his arms.

Smoke billows and clears again. I’m in the hospital giving birth to twins. They are premature. I’m afraid our children and I will die. We’re in an operating room in Atlanta. Brian is by my side, holding my hand. He is crying. I’ve never seen him cry before. I want to take his fear away from him, but I can’t. I’m in so much pain. Mom and Dad are outside in a waiting room. Dad looks like he wants to punch someone. I’ve never seen him angry before. Mom is crying, too. I’m wondering how I could be having twins. They don’t run in our families. Then I remember that Mom was adopted. Twins must run in her birth family. Brian’s grip on my hand is so strong. I focus on that strength. Our children are born, a girl and a boy. We name the girl Anne for Anne Frank. We name the boy Graham for my Dad.

Smoke billows and clears again. Brian and I are living in Los Angeles. A book that I have written is being made into a movie. I’m frustrated because I have no control over making the movie. There is an earthquake. We have to get Anne and Graham from their room. We get them out of the house before it collapses. We hold our children close.

Smoke billows and clears again. We are home in Pittsburgh. I’m a writer-in-residence at the university. Brian is a reporter for a Pittsburgh newspaper. Our children are growing big and strong. Anne and Graham are in high school. They are fifteen years old. Graham plays baseball. Brian and Danielle practice with him almost everyday. Anne tells me that she is in love with a boy -- a boy who doesn't know she exists. I want to tell her to run away from him. I want to stop her from making the same mistakes I made. I can't do those things. I can only try to guide her to make the right choices.

Smoke billows. It doesn’t clear this time. I know the dream is ending. I want to remember it. I try to hold onto the dream. I want to burn it into my memory. But it’s already slipping away.
Last edited by TomSpeed on May 3rd 2003, 8:11 pm, edited 16 times in total.
TomSpeed

Patty: If Rayanne's not seeing you, and we're not seeing you, who is seeing you?
Graham: And how much of you?
Angela: Dad!
Graham: Oh, I'm sorry! I asked a question about your life, didn't I? Woah, what came over me?
http://www.last.fm/user/TomSpeed/

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TomSpeed
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Post by TomSpeed » Mar 10th 2003, 10:48 pm

So ends the story. The last part is the only thing I'm not sure about. I felt the story needed to be concluded with some hints what the future holds. I heavily edited the last part. If you didn't read it before the edit, I'm not going to tell you what I struck. I'm still satisfied with the ending though. But, I don't know how it would work on TV. Really though, I don't know if any of the story would work. Anyway, it's done. I'm going to do some cosmetic changes before I officially submit it, but I don't comtemplate making any major revisions. Again, I hope you enjoyed it. Now it's time for another project.

Oh, I'd like to see someone else take up the challenge of writing a live story. It was a blast.
TomSpeed

Patty: If Rayanne's not seeing you, and we're not seeing you, who is seeing you?
Graham: And how much of you?
Angela: Dad!
Graham: Oh, I'm sorry! I asked a question about your life, didn't I? Woah, what came over me?
http://www.last.fm/user/TomSpeed/

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TomSpeed
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Post by TomSpeed » Mar 11th 2003, 11:51 am

I made some minor adjustments to the title of Part 24 and to some content of Part 25. I changed Three Rivers to Pittsburgh. The characters always talk about living in Pittsburg, not Three Rivers. I also removed some place names to make it seem more dreamlike.
TomSpeed

Patty: If Rayanne's not seeing you, and we're not seeing you, who is seeing you?
Graham: And how much of you?
Angela: Dad!
Graham: Oh, I'm sorry! I asked a question about your life, didn't I? Woah, what came over me?
http://www.last.fm/user/TomSpeed/

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TomSpeed
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Post by TomSpeed » Mar 11th 2003, 8:36 pm

After 15 edits (Oh my God!), parts 24 and 25 are done. I went with the less is more approach. I think the last part works better shorter. Brian's role in the marraige seems more defined. Part 25 could be used as an outline for future chapters. However, I think the continuing story would be very different from the show. I'm going to try very hard to leave what I've written alone for a few days. Looking at it fresh will allow me to be less critical and more objective on what I've written. I guess I'm like most writers. I think what I've written is pretty good, but it could be better. Of course, I have looked at my story and thought that it's not good, it's terrible. Anyway, I've completed it. There will be no more edits here in the forum. However, if anyone wants to discuss the story, feel free.
TomSpeed

Patty: If Rayanne's not seeing you, and we're not seeing you, who is seeing you?
Graham: And how much of you?
Angela: Dad!
Graham: Oh, I'm sorry! I asked a question about your life, didn't I? Woah, what came over me?
http://www.last.fm/user/TomSpeed/

soontobe-lithiumkat

well, this is my first post

Post by soontobe-lithiumkat » Apr 11th 2003, 6:58 am

But for one, it's absolutely amazing to find other people who are so obsessive over mscl as me, and for two your story is amazing i sat there and read the whole thing all at once. lol it's like 6 am. and i'm still watching my dvd set and reading fanfics *god i'm pathetic* but anyway, you should make a FOLLOW UP! *grins* I really like that, and i'm glad angela finally didn't run off with jordan for once lol. anyway wonderful work. :D

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TomSpeed
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Post by TomSpeed » Apr 11th 2003, 9:53 am

Thanks! I'm glad that you enjoyed it. I'm currently working on follow-up under the heading "Future Fan Fic Project."
TomSpeed

Patty: If Rayanne's not seeing you, and we're not seeing you, who is seeing you?
Graham: And how much of you?
Angela: Dad!
Graham: Oh, I'm sorry! I asked a question about your life, didn't I? Woah, what came over me?
http://www.last.fm/user/TomSpeed/

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meggrrrl
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Joined: Mar 13th 2003, 11:07 am
Location: Maryland

Post by meggrrrl » Apr 11th 2003, 5:01 pm

Wow!!! WOW, I'm just blown away! I just sat here and read that whole thing beginning to end, and I'm just amazed! You have a real gift - it really sounds likethe show. There are so many little great mscl-isms, and it's not corny, imo, at all. Write more!!!!

I've glanced at the other fanfic and really none of it grabbed me and some of it sounded a little lame. But this, this is great stuff!

Meg

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TomSpeed
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Post by TomSpeed » Apr 11th 2003, 9:13 pm

Thanks Meggrrrl! It really means a great deal to me that people appreciate what I've written.
TomSpeed

Patty: If Rayanne's not seeing you, and we're not seeing you, who is seeing you?
Graham: And how much of you?
Angela: Dad!
Graham: Oh, I'm sorry! I asked a question about your life, didn't I? Woah, what came over me?
http://www.last.fm/user/TomSpeed/

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lithiumkat
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Location: Missouri, USA
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Post by lithiumkat » Apr 12th 2003, 4:54 am

lol i know i already praised once, but i was just gonna say, i'm a total fanfic junkie on like movies and shows i'm obsessed with because it's like i just cant get enough i want more more more. and the fanfics at least the really good ones (yes, your's falls into that category) help me with my fix. lol i guess it's like being addicted to drugs ok, i'm ghetto only i would make an analogy like that....
"people always say how you should be yourself, like yourself is this definite thing...like a toaster or something, like you can know what it is even."

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tennisgirl55
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Post by tennisgirl55 » Jan 24th 2004, 9:43 pm

I'm writin' a 10-year fanfic 2....u'rs sounds great:):):):)

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sarahr_81
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Post by sarahr_81 » Sep 10th 2004, 9:50 pm

omg, i just read the whole story in one shot, it was really amazing, i totally enjoyed it, its too bad that there was never a 10 yr reunion on tv, that would have been awesome.

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Post by EWU MSCL fan » Oct 1st 2004, 6:00 pm

TomSpeed, I really enjoyed the story. I understand that it can be difficult to do this kind of story given the fact you got to put in all the backstory yourself because ABC terminated the show and you did an admirable job of doing the backstory. I could really see the story you were trying to tell very clearly and it makes sense as an overall story.

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TomSpeed
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Post by TomSpeed » Oct 2nd 2004, 11:34 am

Thanks! I really enjoyed writing this story. I'm glad that you liked it.
TomSpeed

Patty: If Rayanne's not seeing you, and we're not seeing you, who is seeing you?
Graham: And how much of you?
Angela: Dad!
Graham: Oh, I'm sorry! I asked a question about your life, didn't I? Woah, what came over me?
http://www.last.fm/user/TomSpeed/

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