The Most Awesome Thing I Saw on TV This Week - by Kim

[Natasha (candygirl)]

From a recent recap of The Hills:

Meanwhile, McSaveYourself calls a sit-down with LiLi Lutz to clear up Brody and Kristin's accusations. LiLi Lutz tries to be all, "We're not in high school anymore!" Oh honey, if you think that's true of this world, then you got off on the wrong L.A. bus stop. This is high school to the max. Had timelines been different, Saved by the Bell, 90210: Original Recipe, and My So-Called Life would have all taken notes from the ongoing lesson in immaturity and social stratification that is this show. It's high school redux.

[Natasha (candygirl)]

From last week's 90210 recap:

Downtown, Annie steps into her internship boss's office and proves once and for all (as if we didn't know) that she's is the worst actress. Ever. I mean ever. All of which is to say that Annie is a big old breeder and won't be tolerating any lessssssbian advances. God, it's just embarrassing for everyone involved. While Annie's supposedly lesbian supervisor is processing this aggressive heterosexuality, her husband comes in and is all up in Annie's grill. He doesn't talk about Annie's hot little body and her lack of dieting, but the message remains consistent. All of which is totally irrelevant in my mind because what we have here is some vintage Jack Deveraux from Days of Our Lives. Remember the summer when the teens were on the island, and there were lots of sexual overtures and French braid-y hairstyles for Belle Brady? This guy was there, y'all. And I don't care if he literally births a creature from his belly Alien-style right here and now, nothing will ever compare. Even with Hallie Lowenthal as his maybe bicurious wife. Of course, he doesn't birth any creatures from his belly. Nope, he just invites Annie to some barbecue at his and Hallie's house where Annie will be invited to either swim or to Jacuzzi like those English professors who called each other "lovah" on SNL. In any case, it is certain to be creepy.

[Natasha (candygirl)]

This week on American Idol, James Durbin sang a 30 Seconds to Mars song, which prompted some MSCL references in the recap:

Durbin: "I will be singing a pretend song, from pretend band Thirty Seconds To Catalano. It was fun to sing with Sheryl Crow."
Crow: "It was fun to sing with a robot."
Iovine: "I don't know what rock music even is anymore. Sometimes I just turn off my phone and lay on the living room floor and look at the ceiling and think about how in one day and a few hours I have to be on this show more."

Durbin's mic isn't working great, which is sad because the pretend song by the pretend band is, like most of their songs, 100% power hooks that are totally awesome. If you want to rock out in your shower, Thirty Seconds To Let's Bolt! is the way to go.

Also, Durbin: Does just awful. With a Gosselin 'don't, as was pointed out to me by a live-twitterer with very good Gosselin-scope.

Tyler: "Or something!"
Lopez: "You grab, you take, you want, we feel. WE FEEL! It's yours to take and ours to feel!"
Jackson: "Nobody's ever heard of Sharon Chersky To Mars except me, so this probably went over their heads."

Durbin sang that Thirty Krakow To Enrique song, gorgeous, and then gave a so-so song about loneliness.

[Bacchante]

Haha, someone should send this recap to Leto, I'm sure he'll be *thrilled*... or not

Which song did this person sing?

[Natasha (candygirl)]

He sang Closer to the Edge. I read the recap before I watched any of the performances, so I was afraid it would be really awful but it wasn't as terrible as I thought it would be. You can watch it here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9C9hKR6mtAM

[Natasha (candygirl)]

From last week's Pretty Little Liars recap:

There's a point late in My So-Called Life where Jordan is trying to get Brian to do something for him, and he shoots Brian so hard with sex eyeballs that it's shocking, and of course Brian totally rolls his eyes and gives in. It's not even gay, it's barely even sexual, this moment, but in some ways it's the smartest thing that ever happened on that very smart show, and definitely my favorite scene ever, because it's such a true thing about how guys -- how people -- are, with each other. I mean, it's not like they're going to start blowing each other or something, it's just like Jordan opened up the glowing briefcase from Pulp Fiction and moonblinked him, and then Brian's like, "Argh, fine, dude. Yes I adore you and yes I will do this thing, just... Put it away."

[Bacchante]

This is awesome!

[Jody Barsch*]

It's so true! That's one of my favorite scenes too! I love all those small moments where Brian finds himself liking, or affected by, Jordan in spite of himself. (I like when before walking out of Vertigo he turns back to see if Jordan can regroup after the Rayanne debacle and his expression is a mixture of "Damn him" and "Of course" when he sees that Catalano can.)

[Natasha (candygirl)]

From this week's episode of The X Factor:

Kendra Williams is a soulful belter whose family backstage appears to include Rayanne Graff, and who gets through easily.

[Natasha (candygirl)]

From this week's Pretty Little Liars recap:

HASTINGS

Veronica: "I have some s**t to start with you, girlfriend."
Spencer: "I'm listening. In the red leather club chair that Jacob lusts for even when this show is the furthest thing from his mind."
Veronica: "Well, you need to stop making secret trips to Jail."
Spencer: "No."
Veronica: "Oh but yes."
Spencer: "I'm just really traumatized by how my friends keep getting murdered, and I am really curious."
Veronica: "To what end?"
Spencer: "For both intellectual and emotional reasons."
Veronica: "I don't care about either of those things."
Spencer: "Why are you givin' me the third degree? I'm not on trial."
Veronica: "When you're a mom you'll understand, but basically it's because I can look into the future and see myself and what Future Me is saying is, 'Man, I wish I'd stopped my daughter from visiting that child-murderer in jail and building a relationship with him, because then maybe when he got out of jail he wouldn't have come straight to my house and murdered my daughter. Probably he would've murdered somebody else's daughter, which would be sad I guess, but more importantly it wouldn't be my fault.'"
Spencer: "What I hear you saying is, we're gonna table this."
Veronica: "By the Anna Wintour flat-ironed hair I am rocking today, it is not tabled. It is dismissed. You are not going back there, ever. Not even to visit Toby Cavanaugh when he goes to jail for cooking meth, or dealing pot, or whatever people like him always end up in jail for eventually."
Spencer, upstairs: "Well, clearly I am going to ignore that whole conversation we just had."
Veronica, downstairs: "See? He finished my cheese. I had this brand new brick of cheese, he devoured it."

JAIL

Spencer, making absolutely sure her name will be on that list in the morning when Veronica comes to get it, blithely comes in to yell at Garrett some more. He fixes her with his best face, which is like if Mona Lisa played rugby. Like he has infinite secrets. Which of course he does, because the motherfucker never says anything.

Spencer: "Why can Jenna see? And why is my mother your lawyer?"
Garrett: "She just is. I have to go."
Spencer: "Why did you even come out and talk to me?"
Garrett: "I just did. Bye."
Spencer: "Why are you like this?"