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My Poem Thingy

written by Robyn

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Published: 31 Jul 1997 | Size: 2 KB (422 words) | Language: english | Rating: PG-13

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based on stories and characters created by Winnie Holzman

The way you act? Like, hurts me. You don't, like, see me there. And when you look, you never look at me. I'm like, living off an obsession, that like, existed and died. The way people are, just, like confuses me. How you never know what they're thinking. And like, you can't tell when you hurt them. Because it would be much easier if I knew you knew you were hurting me. But I don't even think you do. Know. And all the time? I think it's my fault. Which hurts. Your eyes, they hurt me. They never see me. And I wonder if you ever really do. Whenever I try and hate you, you always know what to say. And it's not that I don't sympathize with you. Because I do. Sympathize, I mean.

Like, it was never really the same. After we took you to the hospital. You were never totally invincible, like I always thought that you were? You had like, problems too. And you like, had to deal with them. But what happened after that was that something in me switched. I didn't want to, like, be you. Cause when I was first friends with you, I, like, needed you. To be there. You did something. You made stuff happen and that helped me. You were the uninhibited, not overwatched, like person. Who did stuff. Unlike me. And you had really easy times talking to people. Unlike me. Because you seemed to have this like, confidence. In yourself. Which I didn't. And I needed you to forward my life. I looked up to you. And after that. I just. Didn't.

You wrote that letter. Does that like, mean something? I mean should I trust you now? And what should I do if I don't think I should. I've known you. For like, so long. And like, what you do is confuse me. You're always around my house. Like, helping my parents. And with my friends. You're always there when I get home. Like, why? Is that letter your point of view? I mean, like, what you did to Delia that time was pretty stupid. Because I have to admit, I like don't. Like you as much as she did. You like, end up hurting a lot of people? And you like, do stuff for the wrong reasons. Which is like, wrong.

Angela Chase

1st: to jordan
2nd: to rayanne
3rd: to brian

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“And, you know, with your hair like that? It hurts to look at you.”

Rayanne Graff, Episode 1: "My So-Called Life (Pilot)"