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Episode No. 20 - Forgiveness

written by Tony & Anna Simovski

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Published: 1997 | Size: 28 KB (5526 words) | Language: english | Rating: PG-13
Average: 4.2/5   4.2/5 (30 votes)

based on stories and characters created by Winnie Holzman

( Moments later Jordan stops the car at a nearby park, not far from the Chase house. The park at this late hour seems cold and somewhat lonely. Comparison to how Angela is feeling at this moment.)

Angela : (VO) Brian and I used to like live at this park when we were kids, it's sort of ironic that Jordan would bring me here now.

Jordan : I think we should like talk, or something. It's about that letter, that I gave you.

Angela : ( not believing that he brought up the subject, and not too eager to hear hisexplanation ) What about it ?

Jordan : I didn't, I mean that kid Brain (frustrated look upon his face ) he kind of helped me with it. (stopping, trying to find the right words to explain, or maybe thecourage ) You know I have a hard time with words, or whatever. Like the other day in Katemski's,when I was trying to talk to you, you weren't making it very easy.

Angela : I was still upset.

Jordan : I know. Anyway, when I went to tutoring I felt pretty down, so I started talking to Brain about it. I told him how I felt bad about what happened, and how Icouldn't find the words to like apologize to you. He said I should write you a letter,but I couldn't (looking ashamed ), I just couldn't do it. I asked him for help.

Angela : Was it this big plan that you two like discussed?

Jordan : Not exactly. I just wanted the letter to be perfect. And seemed like Brian knew what I was going through, so he wrote it.

Angela : I know.

Jordan : ( surprised ) You what ? How ?

Angela : It doesn't matter how I found out, why didn't you say anything ?

Jordan : I tried to tell you, but you seemed so happy, I just didn't want to like disappoint you again. I guess I was just like desperate, for your forgiveness, or something. When I lost you something happened. I realized that I need you in my life, I never thought I needed anyone. (He leans back against the headrest with his eyes closed, sighing he turns to look at her )

Back at Chase house.

Jordan : I have something for you. (smiling ) It's a song that I wrote, for you, or whatever. Something that Brian didn't help me with. Maybe you could listen to it later.(hands her a tape ) I could pick you up for school tomorrow, if you want.

Angela : Okay. ( Jordan leans in to kiss her, a moment later as the car is pulling away, Angela is running up the stairs, clutching the tape )        

Angela's Room
(smiling, she plops onto her bed, and plays the tape. we hear a loneguitar and Jordan's voice singing...

Hold on, I'm not ready to go
There's still so much, that you don't know
Forgive me, for keeping my feelings for you inside
But please know, for you my heart is open wide

I owe it all to you
If you only knew, how you've helped me through
I owe it all to you

Break through, the darkness and you'll find
I'll be waiting, patiently on the other side

I owe it all to you
If you only knew, how you've helped me through
I owe it all to you

( in her rush to play the song she didn't notice the note inside of the tape case. The note reads : I'VE MISSED YOU ! )

Angela : (VO) (smiling to herself ) And then I just knew, that no matter how grammatically correct Brian's words in the letter were, they could never compare to Jordan's.

Next Day : Liberty High
( We see Angela and Jordan entering the halls holding hands. The camera pans to Brian who is actually smiling at seeing the two together, then turns to see Rickie and Rayanne. Rickie also looks happy for the couple, Rayanne's reaction is somewhat confused. )

Rayanne : So what, she forgives him and not me ? It took two to tango.

Rickie : Well, I think he actually tried to apologize.

Rayanne : It's not like I haven't tried, she won't even say two words to me.

Rickie : I guess you're going to have to try harder. ( Brian approaches them) Oh, hi Brian.

Brian : Hey.

Rayanne: What do you want Krakow ?

Brian : Nothing, god, can't I even say hi without getting my head bitten off ?

Rayanne : (seductive voice ) Oh you'd like that wouldn't you Steve ?

Rickie : Who's Steve ?

Brian : ( stunned at realizing she was the one he spoke to at the teen help line ) I, uh, that was you ?

Rayanne : Oh yeah, big Steve.

Brian : God, you're sick

Rayanne : You know you like it, just admit you want me. ( Brian is turning a nice shade of red )

Rickie : Will someone please tell me what the hell is going on ?

Brian : ( smiling ) Nothing, forget it, you just sort of had to be there. I've got to go.

Rayanne : ( brushing up against him ) I won't forget it Bri, you were soooo good !(Rickie just shrugs at this, he heads to the girls bathroom )

Girls Bathroom

( Rickie walks into the restroom, and sees Sharon making adjustmentsto herself. )

Sharon : Um, hey Rickie.

Rickie : Hi, Sharon.

Sharon: So, have you talked to Delia about hanging out sometime ?

Rickie : ( cautious ) Yeah, she didn't tell you ?

Sharon : Tell me what ?

Rickie : Well, it's kind of hard to say, I think she's great and all but she's not exactly my type or whatever. We've decided to be friends.

Sharon : What do you mean not your type, she's so sweet, and she really likes you. I think you guys would be good for each other, so what's the problem ?

Rickie : She's female.

Sharon : What ? (pause) Oh (pause, cheerful again ) Well in that case, I know some really cute guys ! ( both are giggling now )

Rickie : So, anyway have you seen Angela this morning ?

Sharon : No, why ?

Rickie : I think she and Jordan are back together again, like for real this time, and I think Brian had something to do with it.

Sharon : Oh my god, have you talked to her about it ? ( just then Angela walks in, with a huge smile lighting up her whole face.)

Angela : Talked to who about what ?

Sharon : ( smiling, in a teasing tone of voice ) So what's this I hear about you and Jordan ? Did you really forgive him, are you back together ?

Rickie : Yeah, what's going on ?

Angela : Last night was so amazing !

Sharon : Oh my god Angela, you did use protection, didn't you ?

Angela : Oh shut up ! We just talked. I mean really talked, he apologized, he was so wonderful. He didn't need Brian's letter after all, what Jordan said meant so much more.

Sharon : Wait, what letter, Brian wrote a letter ?

Angela : It's kind of a long story.

Rickie : But what about Brian, did you talk to him ?

Angela : Yeah, he didn't want to admit that he wrote it, but he slipped and told me he did. He said he just wanted me to be happy, and now I am. Anyway I need to get to Bio. Bye (kisses Rickie on the cheek)

Rickie : I still think you should talk to Brian, just to see if he's okay, or whatever.

Angela : I will, but I should really get to class.

Sharon : ( teasingly ) Don't you mean the boiler room ?

Angela : ( laughing ) Oh, shut up ! ( the three of them disappear through the door )

Chase House
(Patty is taking a day off from Wood & Jones, to celebrate with Graham, who is giving her a play by play of his first night as chef)

Graham : Oh, Patty it was fantastic, they actually applauded.

Patty : So what happens next, any idea as to when the restaurant will open to the public ?

Graham : Well now that we have the support of the money guys, that should really help speed things along. I'm saying in about three months, that should give us plenty of time.

Patty : That's ( pause ) that's really great, really.

Graham : Why do I get the feeling that it's not, really great ?

Patty : No, really I'm very excited for you.

Graham : Well, good, so am I.

Patty : So, I finally met Jordan Catalano last night.

Graham : What, when ?

Patty : He stopped by to see Angela, we actually talked for about an hour.

Graham : (smiling ) So, how is my dear friend Jordan, did he ask about me ?

Patty : (playfully hitting his arm ) He's now my dear friend too, you can't hold this one over me anymore.

Graham : What did the two of you talk about, what did you think of him ?

Patty : I think I like him (Graham gives her a look of doubt ) What ? I do like him, I do. He didn't have to tell me about Rayanne, but he did, most men twice his age aren't that honest. ( she gives Graham a suspicious look ) I must say I really respect that. And he really seems to care about Angela, I think our daughter is quite lucky. Just like me. (leans to kiss him )

Afternoon : Liberty High
( Rayanne is going over a scene with Abissina in the auditorium, Brianis taking pictures of Rayanne, unnoticed. Angela walks over to him.)

Angela : Hey, Brian ! (he didn't hear her coming and jumps, she starts laughing, which disrupts the scene, everyone looks at her. Rayanne just keeps going with the scene not wanting to look at Angela. ) Sorry, I didn't mean to like scare you.

Brian : Whatever, I mean, it's okay.

Angela : So, I was wondering if we could talk or something ?

Brian : Sure, let's go back here. (they walk backstage, where they see Cory painting scenery, Angela looks embarrassed when she sees him. )

Angela : (whispering ) So anyway, I just um wanted to see if you were okay or whatever.

Brian : Why wouldn't I be okay ?

Angela : I don't know, I mean the whole thing about the letter. (Brian interrupts )

Brian : Look Chase don't flatter yourself, it's really no big deal. I realized last night that my feelings for you were confused, or something. I don't have a lot of people in my life. You're the only person I've really felt close to, but I realized that feeling isn't a crush, it's friendship. I hope things work out for you and Jordan. I didn't think I would like him, but I do. I can tell that he really cares about you.

Angela : ( seems pleased ) Still friends ?

Brian : Always. ( Rayanne enters )

Angela : I've got to go. ( glances at Rayanne and leaves )

Rayanne : Do I know how to clear a room, or what ?

Brian : I think she just has a lot on her mind.

Rayanne : Doesn't mean that you and I can't have some fun, right Steve ?

Brian : ( smiling ) Would you just give it a rest, already ? Besides, you couldn't handle me.

Rayanne : (busting up, and a little shocked ) Krakow, I didn't know you had it in you.

Brian : There's a lot you don't know about me.

Rayanne : Well, maybe I'd like to find out.

Brian : ( nervous ) Yeah, like you'd really go for a guy like me.

Rayanne : Well, you know opposites do attract. It's not like the thought hasn't crossed my mind.

Brian : You shouldn't play with people's emotions like that.

Rayanne : Who's playing ?

Brian : (thinking he's the butt of yet another one of Rayanne's jokes ) Right like I'm supposed to take you seriously.

Rayanne : You remember when we were locked in the school on Halloween ? I kind of felt protected by you, and it was kind of nice or whatever to wake up in your arms. That was a new experience, no guy has ever stayed that long.

Brian : Well, I'm not exactly like other guys.

Rayanne : That's what I've been thinking about, I think we could learn a lot from each other. ( Rayanne's purse falls to the floor, they both bend down to pick it up. They both lean in and kiss, realizing what just happened they pull away. )

Brian : Oh my god. (we see Brian lower his books, as if to hide something ) I've got to go ! (walks down the hall, turns back to say ) Maybe I'll see you later or something.

Rayanne : Not if I see you first. (both smiling, neither noticed that Rickie was standing there, and witnessed the whole thing. )

Rickie : (calling to Rayanne, from the side ) What was that ? (laughing ) You and Brian ?

Rayanne : What ? Stranger things have happened.

Rickie : Well, you're both pretty strange, I could see it coming. You argue all the time, like you're a couple already. And you know, opposites do attract.

Rayanne: What do you think about that ? Would it be like weird, me and Krakow ?

Rickie : Are you serious ? I think you'd be good together, he might actually be nice to you.

Rayanne : Yeah.

Parking Lot : After school
(Jordan is standing by his car, waiting for Angela, he smiles as he sees her approaching )

Jordan : Hey.

Angela : Hi.

Jordan : So, do want to go somewhere ?

Angela : Actually, I have to go home right away, I have to be there when Danielle gets there.

Jordan: Who ?

Angela : Danielle, my sister.

Jordan : Oh, right. Well maybe I could see you later, or something.

Angela : You could come over if you want, I don't think my mom would mind.

Jordan : ( reluctant ) Okay.

(Rayanne is running up to the car, she is calling Angela's name but Angela won't turn around. They both see Rayanne, but just drive away.)

Jordan : So, you're still not talking to Graff ?

Angela : No, and I don't really want to talk about it. ( Jordan looking relieved ) I mean she's so selfish, all she thinks about is herself. She hasn't even tried to apologize. It's always about her, what she lost, I'm sorry but I'm the one who was betrayed, not her. And she expects me to feel sorry for HER !

( They ride to her house in silence, Jordan parks his car in front of the house. )

Jordan : We did a stupid thing, but I kind of understand why she, I mean we, did it.

Angela : I can't believe you're like actually trying to defend her, it's disgusting.

Jordan : I'm not trying to defend anyone, it's hard to explain. In a weird way I think she, wants to be you. She wants to have what you have,or something.

Angela : (thinking this over ) Well, I guess that kind of makes sense. Actually Rickie thinks the same thing. But why did you do it ? How could you ?

Jordan : After we broke up, it was kind of cool that we stayed friends. But when I started seeing you with that guy Cory, I realized that I really missed you.It was like you were just going on with your life, and leaving me behind. I guess in some way, I just like wanted to hurt you, or something. Because I was hurting. (he pauses and looks at her, he chooses his next words carefully ) But, I never want to hurt you again. It's like the worse feeling, for you to not even want to look at me or speak to me. (Angela's eyes fill with tears, he leans over to hug her )

Angela : I guess I needed to hear that. Thank you. ( wiping her eyes, she gives him a smile ) So, are you ready to meet my sister ?

Jordan : (smiling back ) Sure.  

Brian's House : Later, same evening
( Rayanne is knocking at the door, Brian answers, he looks pleasantly surprised )

Brian : What are you doing here ?

Rayanne : I was just in the neighborhood, and decided to drop by.

Brian : Oh, really. Well my parents aren't here, you could come in, if you want.

Rayanne : (Rayanne enters ) So Krakow, does it make you nervous to be alone with me in this big house.

Brian : No, not at all. Why would I be nervous? It's not like I've never been alone with a girl before.

Rayanne : Oh really! (playfully) Should I be jealous?

Brian : Oh, no. Just Sharon and Angela.

Rayanne : I've always wondered what you're room would look like.

Brian : (Brian, gulps.) Well I guess I could show you, if you want.

Rayanne : Lead the way. (she follows Brian up the stairs, they go into his room )

Brian : Sorry about the mess, I wasn't like expecting company.

Rayanne : Oh, that's okay, you should see my room. Hey what's that ? (she walks across the room )

Brian : That's just my telescope.

Rayanne : Can I look through it ?

Brian : Sure.

Rayanne : Wow, that's amazing !

Brian : Yeah, it is pretty amazing. What's your sign ?

Rayanne : Are you trying to pick me up, or something ?

Brian : No, I just want to show you something.

Rayanne : Scorpio, why ?

Brian : (brushing against her, he adjusts the telescope ) Here look.

Rayanne : What am I looking at ?

Brian : That's Scorpio. (both looking through the telescope ) See, that's his tail, and those are his claws. ( Brian looks at Rayanne, who looks up at him they pause, and then kiss. They fall onto his bed. )

Rayanne : I never thought I'd be kissing Brian Krakow, on his bed.

Brian : Me neither, I've never actually done this before.

Rayanne : What, on you're bed ?

Brian : ( speaks almost in a whisper ) I mean kiss.

Rayanne : Seriously ? What about Delia Fischer ?

Brian : We never got that far, exactly.

Rayanne : Well, you must be a natural. So, where are your parents ?

Brian : Denver, visiting my sister.

Rayanne : When are they coming back ?

Brian : Not until Sunday. ( she gives him a mischevious smile, and they continue to kiss )


(Angela and Jordan are talking on the couch when Angela's parents walk in

Patty : Oh hello.

Angela : What are you guys doing home so soon?

Graham : Well, you're mom and I thought that it would be nice to have dinner together.

Angela : Oh.

Patty : Hi Jordan. (Graham says hello as well.)

Jordan : Hey. I gave Angela a ride home, but I was just leaving.

Patty : Oh no, why don't you stay for dinner.( Angela looks at him waiting anxiously for his reply while trying to remain cool. )

Jordan : No I couldn't, I mean I wouldn't wanna impose, or whatever.

Graham : Oh we insist. I'm making chicken with all the fixings.

Jordan : Well, I am pretty hungry.

Patty : Great. Then it's settled, the bathroom is down the hall if you want to wash up. (Jordan and Angela leave the room, Angela looks back and smiles )

Dining room : a few minutes later.

Angela : I can't believe you guy's did that.

Graham : (smiling) Well we just want to get to know him better.

Angela : (smiling, and shaking her head ) Oh boy. (Jordan enters the room )

Jordan : Smells good.

Graham : Thanks. I hope you're hungry, I made enough to feed an army. (Danielle walks in )

Danielle : (looks at Jordan ) Who are you?

Jordan : I'm Jordan.

Danielle : Oh, I've heared of you. Are you and my sister sleeping together? (Angela, Graham, and Patty all say DANIELLE ! ) What?

Patty : That's very rude. And where were you ? It's after six.

Danielle : I was just at Katie's house.

Graham : You know you're supposed to come straight home from school. Go wash up, we're about to eat.(Danielle leaves the room )

Patty : Sorry about that. She's at that age.

Jordan : That's cool. (pauses, whispers to Patty ) We aren't though, you know, sleeping together.

Patty : Oh no, we don't think that (the doorbell rings, Graham goes to answer it )

Graham : Hi Rayanne.

Rayanne : Hi. I was just in the neighborhood and uh, is Angela home ?

Graham : Yeah. We're just sitting down to dinner, why don't you join us ?

Rayanne : No, I couldn't.

Graham : Don't be silly, come in.(Rayanne reluctantly enters ) Angela, Rayanne's here. (Angela and Jordan both look up from their plates, they look very uncomfortable )

Rayanne : ( to Angela ) I just wanted to talk, your dad said I should stay for dinner.

Angela : ( coldly, without looking at her ) Fine.

Patty : So Rayanne, how's Our Town coming along ?

Rayanne : The play's really great. Emily, the character I play, reminds me of ( glances quickly at Angela ) someone I know.

Patty : Well, we will all definitely be there opening night.

Rayanne : (surprised ) Really ?

Patty : Of course, right Angela.

Angela : (forced smile ) Of course. ( they finish the meal in silence )

Graham : Hey Jordan, do you think you could give me a hand cleaning up in the kitchen ?

Jordan : ( relieved at the chance to get away from the table ) Sure.

Patty : Danielle, isn't there some homework you wanted help on ?

Danielle : (rolling her eyes )Duh mom, it's Friday. I don't have any.

Patty : Well, we'll just find something else for you to do, come on. (they get up,leaving Rayanne and Angela alone )

Rayanne : Look, I know you probably don't ever want to speak to me again, which is totally understandable. But I just wanted a chance to say that I'm sorry. I've never hurt someone this much before.

Angela : Well, maybe you should have thought about that before you did what you did.

Rayanne : I can't take back what happened that night, or any other night, all I can do is say that I am sorry. It's like a step I'm working on.

Angela : ( confused ) What do you mean, step ?

Rayanne : The counselor like gave me this pamplet to read, it's from AA. One of the steps is to try to make amends with the people you've done wrong, which is a lot of people. Anyway, you were at the top of my list. Part of making amends means to admit any wrong doing and taking responsibility for my actions. I didn't think the things I did affected anyone else, but I know now that they do.

Angela : ( thinking ) So you're going to AA ?

Rayanne : I haven't like gone to a meeting yet, my counselor is trying to find one with kids our age in it.

Angela : I hope you go through with it, getting help I mean, I think you really need it. It could be good for you, but I don't know if.....

Rayanne : (interrupting ) What ? You don't know if you could forgive me, or believe me ?

Angela : ( sad look ) Both.

Rayanne : Well, I'm going to try to fix that. I really am this time.

Angela : If you're really serious, then maybe we can try to work past this. But, I don't know if it can be like it was before, it will always be in the back of my mind.

Rayanne : All I can ask for is another chance. (Angela gives her an awkward smile )

Later :

( Rayanne is gone, Angela is walking Jordan to his car )

Jordan : So you guys, like talked, or whatever ?

Angela : Yeah.

Jordan : Good, she seems like she needs you, or something.

Angela : I just don't know if I need her any more.

Jordan : (sighing, changing the subject ) So, it was nice today.

Angela : ( distracted, still thinking of Rayanne ) What ? Like the weather ?

Jordan : No, being here with you and your family. It was nice to have like a real meal. Your dad's a good cook, my dad never cooks for me.

Angela : What about your mom ? Oh god, I'm sorry I didn't mean to....

Jordan : (saddened, looking down at his feet ) Whatever, it's okay. (his eyes are closed as if remembering )

Angela VO: Someone, maybe Rayanne, told me that Jordan's mom died during childbirth. His dad always sort of blamed him. Ugh, why did I have to say that ?

Jordan : It's really okay, that you said something. I've just never like actually talked about her to anyone, not even my dad. I feel like I can tell you stuff though.

Angela : ( encouraging )You can.

Jordan : It's hard you know. I'm trying. Sometimes I can imagine how she would be. I can see her baking cookies, and helping me with my homework, bugging me about stuff, you know, like moms do.(Angela nods in agreement.) I miss her even though I didn't know her.

Angela : (Puts her hand on his shoulder ) I bet she would have been a good mom. Sometimes bad things happen for a reason, you shouldn't blame yourself. Nobody should.

Jordan : (turns away from her, his eyes are glassy, his voice cracks when he speaks ) My dad hates me, he always has. When I was young he used to knock me around, now he just ignores me.

Angela : He has no right to do that to you, you don't deserve that. What happened to your mom was an accident, it's not your fault.

Jordan : It is my fault though, he told me that I killed her. They could have saved her instead of me, but she wouldn't let them.

Angela : Then don't you see, you were so special to your mom that she died so you could live. She knew what an amazing person you would be. If your dad can't see all that then he's just blind. You can't let his stupid actions control your life.

Jordan : I guess that makes sense, it's just hard when the people who are supposed to like care about you, don't care at all.

Angela : Well, that's his loss. You know that there are people, who do like, care about you.

Jordan : ( faint smile ) Yeah ? Who ?

Angela : Me. (she grabs him and gives him a long passionate kiss )

Jordan : Well maybe we could like hang out this weekend or something. If you want.

Angela : ( huge smile ) Whatever happens, happens !

Jordan : Oh, okay.

Angela : I'm just kidding, I would definitely love to see you.

Jordan : Good. ( gives her a small peck ) See ya....

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Reviews for this story

Rating Distribution:
Average: 4.2/5   4.2/5 (30 votes)
  • somebody commented on 09 Feb 2003:
    These aren't characters from MSCL; they're cheap imposters from the planet Dronic! Not one acted in character! I can't understand how this story got so highly rated.
  • anonymous author commented on 25 Mar 2003:
    I agree with the anonymous above, they are all out of character, but I think you got it right about Jordan and Rayanne, I mean I think Jordan slept with Rayanne because he wanted to punish Angela for starting things with Corey altough I don't think he would ever admit it, especially not to Angela.
  • Jess commented on 10 Apr 2004:
    Even though I know this would never happen, I love it.
  • ksjhds gave this story a 1.0/5 1.0/5 rating and commented on 23 Feb 2009:
    It got so highly rated 'cause it's the cheesy crep everyone wishes would happen.

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“And, you know, with your hair like that? It hurts to look at you.”

Rayanne Graff, Episode 1: "My So-Called Life (Pilot)"