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Episode No. 20 - Matters of the Heart

written by Kelly

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About this story

Published: 23 Apr 2009 | Size: 23 KB (3500 words) | Language: english | Rating: PG-13

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Angela deals with finding out Jordan didn't write the letter.

based on stories and characters created by Winnie Holzman

Chapter One

Angela VO* It’s funny how sometimes you look at a person you've known all your life but you don't really see them.  Then  when you finally do see them they're like a stranger.

Angela was in Jordan's car but she wasn't really there, she was still out on the street with Brian trying to figure him out.  Jordan had started talking to her, they were still parked in front of her house and if she looked in the passenger side mirror she could see Brian riding his bike in circles just fifty feet away.

"Angela...hey are you listening?  What do you want to go do?"

Angela snapped back to reality.  She didn't want to be there in Jordan's car, she wanted to talk to Brian.

"Jordan, I have to go.  We'll talk later."

"Wait, what the hell..."

Angela didn't even wait for him to finish before she opened his car door and got out.  She didn't want to hear his explanation.  She especially didn't want to know why he lied to her.  Giving her a note that Brian had wrote?  What did he expect her to do when she found out, understand?  She stepped away from Jordan's car as he sped off.  Brian stopped riding in circles and stared at Angela.

"I thought you were going with him."

"Jordan and I can talk later.  I'd rather talk to you."

Brian turned his back to her and pretended to check the valve caps on his bike.

"There's nothing to talk about Chase, yeah I wrote the letter, that's it, end of story."

"How long Brian?"

Brian turned around and looked at Angela.

"How long what?"

"How long have you had feelings for me?"

Brian's face turned beet red and he looked away.  How could he tell this girl that he had loved her most of his life?  That the one thing he lived for was to watch her walk out her front door in the morning before school just so he could catch a glimpse of her without her being around everyone else.  He knew the real Angela, he had known her his whole life and no matter how she tried to change the outside she was still the same person inside.

"I have no idea what you’re talking about.  Feelings, yeah ok."

Brian looked away again, but for that one moment when he had been looking at her she had seen it.  Angela had wished for this whole school year that Jordan would look at her the way Brian just did.

"Fine Krackow, don't tell me.  See ya."

Angela turned and walked toward her house.  She knew he liked her and she wanted to know how much.  Until this night she had never thought of Brian that way.  He was her neighbor, her friend.  They had grown up together.

When she walked into her house her dad was on the couch looking over some paperwork for the restaurant that Hallie and him were opening up pretty soon.

"Angela, what are you doing home so soon.  Didn't you go with Jordan?"

"Dad, I don't really want to talk about it.  I just decided not to go.  Its complicated."

Angela walked upstairs and went straight to her room.  She had to call Sharon.  Hopefully it wasn't too late.  She picked up her phone and dialed the number.

"Hello...yeah hi is Sharon there?  ...Thanks Mrs. Cherski."


"Sharon, oh my god, you are not even going to belive the night I've had."

"I can just imagine, I mean, finding out that Brian wrote the note and that Jordan lied.  Wow, you must be really overwhelmed right now.  Brian Krackow likes you, thats big.  Thats really big."

"Sharon, you knew?"

"Yeah, its only like a known fact.  Brian has liked you forever."

"Well thats funny because when I asked him, he said he didn't know what I was talking about."

"Angela, he's just trying to protect himself.  He's up against Jordan Catalono for god sakes.  He's like brutally hot.  Brian is a geek, he probably thinks theres no way you could like him."

"He hasn't given me a chance to even consider it."

"You mean you like him?"

"I don't know...I mean I might.  All I know is that I was in Jordan's car and I just got out and left because it didn't feel right."

"Oh Angela, you poor thing.  I had no idea you might actually like Brian."

"Yeah maybe, listen Sharon I have to go.  I have a lot to think about."

"Yeah ok, thinking is good.  I'll see you tomorrow, bye."


Angela didn't feel any better from that phone conversation.  She thought she might like Brian.  She didn't want to have anything to really do with Jordan right now, he had lied to her.  Angela got dressed for bed and drifted off to sleep thinking of Brian.
Chapter Two

Morning came all too soon for Angela.  She had set her alarm early because she decided last night that she was going to go to Brian's house this morning and talk some more.  She got dreassed and headed down stairs.  Her mom was sitting at the kitchen counter drinking coffee when she got downstairs.

"Hey kiddo, your up early.  You look nice, special occasion?"

"No, just thought I'd try to look nice today mom, geez."

Angela didn't think she looked different or any nicer, she was just wearing a pair of jeans and a sweater she had picked up a couple days ago.

"Hey, how did things go with Jordan last night? Your dad said you were home really early."

"Yeah, I didn't go anywhere with Jordan last night, end of story.  I'm heading over to Brian's, thought I'd ride the bus to school so tell dad I don't need a ride."

Angela's mom got up from the kitchen counter, went to the refridgerator and grabbed an apple out then tossed it to Angela.

"You know how I worry, have a good day honey."

"Yeah mom, thanks, see you tonight."

Angela's mom was always so worried about her.  She had to laugh to herself as she crossed the street to the Krackow's house.  Angela was kind of nervous.  Last night before she drifted off to sleep she tried to imagine what it would be like to kiss Brian.  She still couldn't belive that everyone had known that Brian liked her, except for her.  Angela rang the door bell at Brian's and waited.  Brian's mom came to the door a couple seconds later.

"Hi Angela dear, how are you?"

"Good Mrs. Krackow, is Brian home?"

"Oh sure honey, he's upstairs, just go on up."


Angela headed upstairs.  The last time she had done this Brian had been shirtless when she had opened his bedroom door.  She laughed outloud at the image.  

When Angela got to his bedroom his door was shut.  She stood outside for a moment.  She had been in his room a hundred times. She knocked on his door.

"No mom, I don't want breakfast, just leave me alone."


Two seconds later his bedroom door flew open.  This time, he had a shirt on.

"Angela...sorry I thought you were my mom. She's been badgering me for like twenty minutes to come down and eat.  What are you doing here?"

"Brian, we need to talk"


Angela stood there for a second just looking at him.  His eyes were so blue, she had always loved them.  She was dazed, she needed to know how he felt.  She quickly grabbed him before he could even move, or know what was going on and kissed him.  It started out awkward but he put his arms around her and slowed the kiss down.  She knew from that moment on that he really liked her, maybe even loved her.  Angela had never been kissed like that before.  They pulled away from each other.  She looked at him with new eyes.  Eyes that had never seen him until now.  

"About that letter...."

Brian stopped her talking by putting his finger on her lips, then seconds later replacing his finger with his lips once again.  The kiss lasted for well over a minute and Angela just let herself melt into his arms.  His lips were so soft and his arms around her felt so strong.  She had never felt safer.  This time she ended the kiss.

"Brian, what does this mean?"

"It means Chase, that I've been in love with you for like ages.  Your the reason I get up in the morning.  I've never felt this way about anyone but you, and yes I wrote that letter to you.  I just imgained what I would say to you to get you back."

"I don't think that what happened between Jordan and I would have happened to us."

Brian looked at Angela and smiled.

"Your probably right.  So, what do we do now?"

"I have no idea, I still need to talk to Jordan."


"Brian, until this moment I didn't even know that this could actually be real."

Brian turned around, walked to his bed and sat down.  He looked Angela in the eyes and seen the conflict.  How could she even still consider that jerk?

"You should talk to Jordan.  I mean, technically you guys are still together and...."

"Brian, I....."

"No really, its ok.  I guess the fact that you know I have feelings for you makes me feel better.   If you need time to figure things out, then I guess I'll just wait a little longer."


The look on Angela's face showed a slight sign of relief.

"Yeah, I mean sure."

Brian VO* I think I can actually hear my heart breaking in two.  Is it possible to die from a broken heart?

"Thank you Brian.  You don't know how much this means to me."

Angela took Brian's hand and pulled him up to a standing position.  She hugged him and as she was doing that Brian put his face in Angela's hair and took a deep breath in.  Her hair was so intoxicating.  He loved Angela, if this would be the last time they might be together like this then he needed to savor the moment.

"Come on Chase, we're gonna be late for school if we don't get going."

Brian grabed his book bag and they both walked downstairs.  When they got on the bus Angela sat with Brian instead of sitting by herself.  People stared but Brian didn't care.  He thought to himself that he would have to remember this moment too.

Chapter Three

Angela VO* I wish I could just ask someone to make a decision for me.  On one hand I have Jordan who, well he leans and then theres Brian...

At school Angela retreated to the girl's bathroom.  This was her place to think.  She had stopped by her locker on the way there to pick up books.  Jordan had left her a note:


Meet me in the boiler room 3rd period.


She had an hour and a half to figure out what she was going to do.  She thought she was going to be alone but the door swung open and there stood Rayanne.

"Sorry, I'll leave."

Rayanne turned around to leave but Angela stopped her.

"Please stay Rayanne.  We need to talk."

Rayanne walked back to where Angela was sitting, threw her bag down and hopped up to sit next to Angela on the window ledge.

"Ok, lets talk."

Angela took a deep breath and thought she might as well take care of all her problems today.

"You hurt me."

Thats all she could say.  Three simple words.

"I know, I just..."

Rayanne's eyes filled with tears.

"Well, I have no excuse.  You have every right to be hurt."

Angela looked at her friend and offered a small smile.  She knew that her betrayal would probably never be forgiven but there was hope for starting over.

"Rayanne, its gonna be a while before I can completely trust you but I think we can start over again."

For the first time in weeks Rayanne actually smiled for real.  It was good to finally be talking to Angela again.  She had really missed her.  What Rayanne had never told Angela is she was the reason Rayanne tried to stay sober.

"So, whats been going on with you Angelica?  Ricki doesn't tell me much."

"Ummm, I kissed Brian Krackow this morning."

"What!  Brian Krackow, geek Brian Krackow!  OH MY GOD! This is hugh!"

Angela rolled her eyes at her meladrama.  Rayanne had always been a good actress.

"Yeah, thee Brian Krackow.  He was the one that wrote me that letter that Jordan gave me."

Rayanne looked at Angela in disbelife.

"Aren't you and Jordan back together?  I thought Ricki told me that you two had talked or something."

"Yeah, well we were supposed to but Brian happened."

"What are you going to do?"

That was a very good question.  Everyone kept asking her that but she still wasn't even sure how she felt about Brian.  He had been her niehbor for years and friends for a while.  Now though she didn't know.

Rayanne and Angela talked for the rest of first period and all of second before she told Rayanne she had to go.  She had to dodge the guidance counselar and her second period teacher just to get to the boiler room.  When she got there she walked down the steps slowly almost sure he wouldn't be there. He was there though, leaning like he always did.  When he seen her he smiled.

"There you are, I thought you weren't coming."

"Yeah, I kind of had to dodge some teachers to get here. What did you want?"

Jordan walked over and kissed her.  She natually kissed him back not even thinking what she was doing.  His kiss was so different from Brian's kiss.  Jordan's kiss was aggressive, while Brian's was warm and very passionate.  Angela pushed Jordan away.

"Angela, whats wrong?"

"We need to talk."

"About last night? Yeah, what was that about?"

"I know you didn't write the letter.  Before you even ask me, no Brian didn't tell me, someone else did.  What I don't understand is why you did it.  I mean how come you couldn't tell me what you were feeling?"

"Angela, I didn't know what to say.  I knew what I wanted to say but didn't know how to say it.  Brian is so smart I knew he would know what to say."

"Did you also know that Brian likes me, like more than friends?"

Jordan just looked at Angela.  He didn't know what to say.

"No, I didn't.  If I would have had any idea I would have never had him write that for you."

"Well, he does and this morning I kissed him.  Jordan I think I might really like him.  I just don't think that I can do this whole thing with you anymore.  You slept with my best friend and then you tried to pass someone elses love letter off as your own.  I don't really hate you but I can't trust you."


Thats all he said.  He just walked up the steps, leaving Angela feeling relived.  She couldn't wait to see Brian now.  She walked upstairs and to her third period class, English.  When she walked in Mr. Katimsky stopped what he was saying and looked at her.

"Uh, gee whiz Angela your a little late. Take your seat."

She took her seat behind Sharon.  Sharon turned around.

"Where have you been?"

"Tell you later."

She looked over at Brian from across the way and smiled.  He smiled back and mouthed "Are you ok?".  Angela shook her head yes, and for once she actually was.

After English Angela waited for Brian outside.  Everything seemed like a dream to Angela.  After she found out that Brian had feelings for her she weighed out the possibilities.  She liked what she saw and wanted to give him a chance.  Jordan walked out right before Brian and he looked her up and down, then looked away and kept on walking.  Brian walked up beside her, witnessing what just happen.

"Angela, is everything ok, why were you late to class and why is Rayanne going around telling everyone that we're an item now?"

It amused Angela when Brian got over excited about something.

"Come on Krackow, I'll tell you everything at lunch."

With that said Angela grabbed Brian's hand to walk off to lunch.  Brian held back just standing there looking in disbelife.

"Is this for real?"

"Yeah, Brian, its for real."

Brian smiled and followed Angela to lunch.

Chapter Four

At lunch Angela told Brian that she wanted to start dating him.  Brian was smiles all during lunch.  He couldn't belive this was even happening.  Even in his wildest dreams he never could have imagined this could happen.  Reality quickly set in though when he relized he was going to have to tutor Jordan after school.  Together they had convinced a very reluctant Sharon to fill in for Brian until they could find a replacement.  After that was taken care of Brian decided they should go study at his house for the upcoming English quiz.  Angela and Brian walked off hand in hand as Sharon just stood there thourly ticked that she had to deal with Jordan now.

After school Sharon slowly made her way to the English class room where tutoring sessions took place.  She stood in the doorway of the classroom looking at Jordan and wondering how broke up he actually was about Angela.  She approached him with apprehention.


Jordan looked up at Sharon then got a smirk on his face.

"You must be the replacement.  What is it, Cherski?"

"Yeah, hi, listen I didn't really want to do this but Brian practically begged me and..."

"Listen, I'm outta here.  See ya."

Jordan got up to leave.

"Wait Jordan, I didn't mean it that way.  I'm sorry.  If you tell me where Brian left off I can help."

"I don't feel much like studying or being tutored right now.  Thanks, but no thanks.  You need a ride somewhere?  I can drop you off."

Sharon didn't know if going with him was such a good idea but she didn't feel like walking so she accepted.

"Sure, thanks."

She followed Jordan outside to his car.  He opened her door for her to let her in.  Sharon was taken aback by this action.  This didn't seem like Jordan.  He got in beside her and she told him where she lived.  They drove in complete silence.  She wondered if this is how he was all the time, and if so no wonder Angela chose Brian.  Jordan pulled up to her house and shut his car off.

"Why is Angela the way she is.  She is the most complicated girl I know.  One minute you think you know her and the next you don't."

"I don't know Jordan."

Jordan gave an audible sigh.

"I can't do anything right, I screw up at home, I screw up at school and I screwed up with Angela."

"Jordan, I'm sure you don't screw up with everything.  You've been doing really well in school, Brian told me.  Plus, I don't think that things were meant to work out for you and Angela."

Jordan looked at her, really looked at her.  It made Sharon feel a little uneasy.

"Yeah, you might be right, anyway....."

Jordan leaned towards Sharon to open her door.

"I'll be ready for tutoring tomorrow.  I just need to go to the loft right now and think."

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow."

Sharon got out of the car and went to close the door.

"Hey Cherski."


"If you want to swing by the loft later on, I'll be practicing with the Embryos."

"Ah, yeah, ok."

She shut the door and walked up to her front door.  What the heck was that all about?  Sharon didn't get invited to the loft.  Angela owed her, she owed her big.

A few houses down Angela and Brian were making out on Brian's bed.

Brian VO* This cannot be happening.  I'm going to wake up soon.

Brian pulled away from Angela and looked at her for a few seconds.  Then he put his arms around her and squeezed.

"Angela, this is the best possible outcome to this situation."

"God Brian, you’re so formal, "this situation".  You geek."

Angela playfully slugged him in the arm and turned back to her English book.

"Hey do you think Jordan is real mad about me not tutoring him anymore?"

Angela looked up at him.

"I think Sharon can take care of him."

Angela knew she owed Sharon.  She just didn't want Brian around Jordan.  She didn't think that he was all broken up about her but she didn't want anything to happen to Brian if he was.  In the back of her mind she hoped that he would pine away for her for a little while.  Angela closed her book and got up off the bed.

"I got to go, dad is actually making dinner tonight for the first time since him and Hallie started working on the restaurant."

In fact, Angela's dad wasn't around for much of anything anymore.  Her mother must either, one be too busy to notice or, two just ignoring the fact that he wasn't home.  

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow morning."

Brian got up off the bed and pulled Angela into a long kiss.


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  • MonnyUK gave this story a 4.0/5 4.0/5 rating and commented on 29 May 2009:
    This story is for those who love Brian and wished that Angela had ended up with him. I do feel though that this would not have happened in reality. I do hope you write another story.
  • Gwen gave this story a 4.0/5 4.0/5 rating and commented on 03 Sep 2009:
    I don't really think Angela would have gone for Brian at all. I think she would have spent a lot of time obsessing over why Jordan passed the letter off as his own, avoiding dealing with Brian's feelings altogether. I did like adding tension between Sharon and Jordan though, that was interesting. I also liked the daydream aspect in the beginning, that she was never really in Jordan's car. Great job!

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“And, you know, with your hair like that? It hurts to look at you.”

Rayanne Graff, Episode 1: "My So-Called Life (Pilot)"