New Fanfic Coming

Discussion and questions about the FanFiction section of MSCL.com. You can also post excerpts of your unfinished stories here if you're looking for feedback or ideas.
Mike B
Nicky Driscoll
Posts: 18
Joined: Jan 7th 2008, 2:14 pm

New Fanfic Coming

Post by Mike B » Jan 7th 2008, 2:25 pm

Hi! I only just registered, but I have been a long time fan of the show. I purchased the new dvd set, and since watching have felt passionately inspired to write more.

And so, episode 20 is 75% complete. I hope to finish within the next couple weeks.

I'd like to post in batches of 5 or 6, so I want to update regularly with progress updates and sample scenes.

Till next time!

Cheers,
Mike

Mike B
Nicky Driscoll
Posts: 18
Joined: Jan 7th 2008, 2:14 pm

Re: New Fanfic Coming

Post by Mike B » Jan 15th 2008, 11:30 am

Hi!

EP 20 is 98% complete. I'd like to read through it once more and then format it shooting script style. By Sunday, I'll post the first 2 scenes.

I've been really enjoying this, so I mapped out story ideas for the next 3 eps. And I bet I'll have ideas for more as I go.

Before, I thought it would be good to submit 5-6 eps at a time, but now I'm thinking I'd like to submit the first 4 after I complete them.

Anywho, I'll post again with the first 2 scenes of ep 20.

Cheers!

Mike B
Nicky Driscoll
Posts: 18
Joined: Jan 7th 2008, 2:14 pm

Re: New Fanfic Coming

Post by Mike B » Jan 18th 2008, 9:45 am

Hi all,

Here are the first 2 scenes. Please feel free to comment, offer feedback, anything.




FADE IN

INT. CHASE HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY

We pan across the kitchen; pots, spice containers, and dishes everywhere. Off
screen, Graham speaks. We find him on the kitchen phone.

GRAHAM: We are *in* the restaurant business. (beat) Well, after I cooked for
the investors, it was late, so I *couldn't* call. (beat) No, (laughing) I
will *not* move in with you and Marla to be your cook, but I appreciate the
thought. (beat) She's, ah, well you know she's under alot of pressure at work
lately, being the only person and all. She had to fire a guy.

Patty enters the kitchen, opens the fridge, and pours herself a glass of juice.

Graham sees her and tenses a bit.

GRAHAM: Hey, I gotta go. (short beat) We'll talk later. Okay, Bye.

PATTY: (re: the phone) Hallie?

GRAHAM: Neil.

PATTY: Watcha talking about?

GRAHAM: Hm? Oh I was just telling Neil how well friday night went.

Patty takes in the kitchen.

PATTY: This place is a *mess*.

Graham takes a glass from the cupboard.

GRAHAM: I know. I was experimenting with different...ah...spices. I'll
clean up later this morning.

This satisfies Patty.

PATTY: So. We're *in* the restaurant business.

Graham moves close to her and holds her arms, making Patty a bit uneasy.

GRAHAM: And the beauty of it is that all I have to do is...cook. Which is like
the one thing--

PATTY: Right. The one thing you can *really* do.

GRAHAM: And Hallie takes care of the rest.

Patty pulls away and returns the juice, leaving Graham's glass empty.

Graham turns toward her.

GRAHAM: It's really a dream come true for us.

PATTY: (her tone sours) What would we do without Hallie?

Patty starts to look for something in the mess. Graham opens the fridge and
fills his glass.

GRAHAM: Now, you're doing something you like, and I'm doing something I *love*. I mean, it's *great*.

Patty doesn't respond.

GRAHAM: Don't you think so?

PATTY: (distracted, still searching for something) Of *course*. Really great.

GRAHAM: So why say it like that?

PATTY: Say it like what?

GRAHAM: Like we just discovered one of our daughters is moving to New Zealand
to study exotic frogs.

Patty stops.

PATTY: *Which* daughter?

Graham looks at her, upset.

GRAHAM: Patty?

PATTY: Oh! I'm so sorry, Graham. I just. Have you seen those binding specs for
the Jacobs account? I'm meeting with Ed Jacobs this morning and he wants to go
over them again.

Patty enters the Living Room, and Graham follows after her.

GRAHAM: You know, I think I might have seen them upstairs. On your nightstand?

PATTY: Really? Upstairs? I don't think they're... why would they be
upstairs?

GRAHAM: You could...you know, go check?

In haste, she goes upstairs, leaving Graham standing in the living room. She
returns with a folder full of papers, moves close to Graham, and leans in to
kiss. He tenses but doesn't stop her.

PATTY: My hero.

They share a brief kiss. Patty pulls away.

PATTY: So, I'm off. (beat, she opens the door) Oh! Don't you have
something today?

GRAHAM: I'm meeting Hallie. To go over plans for the floor space? (beat, Patty
looks confused) I told you last night. Before dinner?

PATTY: (remembering) *Oh*, right. Hallie.

Her optimism sours a notch.

PATTY: (cont'd) So, I'll see you later then.

She exits. Graham stands, a bit uneasy.

INT. LIBERTY HIGH SCHOOL - HALLWAY - MORNING

Angela navigates the crowd to reach Ricky at his locker, where he's swapping
books between his locker and bag. She stands with him a moment, but he doesn't
notice.

ANGELA: You were right.

Momentarily startled, he turns to her.

RICKY: About what?

ANGELA: Brian. And the letter.

Ricky stops and gives Angela his attention.

RICKY: Oh my god, the letter. What happened?

ANGELA: (winces) I confronted him.

RICKY: (quite possibly sarcastic) You? Confront Brian?

ANGELA: (mildly defensive) *Yes*.

She pauses, recalling.

ANGELA: He said he wrote it. And that my happiness is all that really matters
to him.

RICKY: (with mock suspicion) Are you sure this was Brian you were talking to?

ANGELA: (deflated) I'm sure. While I was at Katimski's with you, Jordan came to
my house.

RICKY: Did Patty totally freak?

ANGELA: (she can barely believe Patty didn't) They chatted. And drank *milk*.

Ricky takes this in.

ANGELA: (cont'd) When he finished, I left with him. But, to be honest? I really
didn't know *what* to do.

RICKY: So you left Brian? Like on the street?

ANGELA: (wincing, her voice pained) Yeah.

RICKY: After he bared his soul?

Ricky raises an eyebrow, and Angela winces more intensely.

RICKY: I don't know much about relationships or anything? But I'd say you
messed up.

Angela leans back against the lockers.

ANGELA: I know, Ricky. I'm pathetic. *Help* me.

Ricky leans next to her.

RICKY: (symapthizing) It's completely your move. Talk to him.

ANGELA: (overlapping) I mean, I can't just *walk* up to him and say something.
What does one *say* after that? (beat, turning to face him) And why are you
taking *his* side?

RICKY: Look. I've noticed that you and Brian don't always get along. But maybe
this time? He deserves I don't know. Like respect or something.

ANGELA: (incredulous) For writing me this amazing love letter and signing it,
Jordan Catalano?

RICKY: I know it sounds weird. But in a way, it was kinda brave. I mean, if he
really does feel that way.

ANGELA: Maybe you're right. (beat, she ponders) Whatever I do though is *not* a
*move*. With Brian Krakow, there are no such things. It's like against the
natural order.

Ricky sees somthing beyond her. His eyes widen a bit, and she notices. They
both stop leaning. Angela turns in time to see Jordan close to an intimate
distance. Uncomfortable being so close to Jordan, Ricky shifts to create some
space. Jordan puts a hand against the locker, right by Angela's head and leans
in.

JORDAN: Hey. I just wanted you to know that, friday night? (a bit guilty) I didn't mean to...*you* know. (beat, Angela nods) I don't like *do* that kinda stuff.

ANGELA: (nodding, assuring) No, I know what you mean.

JORDAN: It's just? That kinda stuff doesn't usually happen.

ANGELA: Really. It was no problem.

He leans in further, now very close.

JORDAN: (gentle) *Okay*, then.

She tilts her head up.

ANGELA: (soft) *Okay*, then.

He lingers. Angela closes her eyes, anticipating the kiss.

JORDAN: Gotta go.

He pulls back. Angela's eyes open. Her lips part, but no words come out. Jordan
walks off, and Angela gazes after him.

RICKY: (also staring) I'm like, breathless by association.

ANGELA: (snapping out of it) I'm sorry, what?

RICKY: (still staring) What?

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oaksand
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Re: New Fanfic Coming

Post by oaksand » Jan 18th 2008, 5:25 pm

hi this is really promising i think you have really got all the characters and conversations spot on. i love the patty and graham moment about the frogs!!

Mike B
Nicky Driscoll
Posts: 18
Joined: Jan 7th 2008, 2:14 pm

Re: New Fanfic Coming

Post by Mike B » Jan 23rd 2008, 8:36 am

Thank you for the kind feedback.

I am at work on episode 21 - about 3000 words into it. My original thought was to submit in batches so that everyone can read several at a time.

But, would you all rather I submit episode 20 now? It's complete, and I really don't think I'll want to make changes.

Cheers,
Mike

AniAnnika
Jody Barsh
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Re: New Fanfic Coming

Post by AniAnnika » Jan 26th 2008, 2:28 pm

I would love the full episode...this looks great so far! Fabulous characterizations!

Mike B
Nicky Driscoll
Posts: 18
Joined: Jan 7th 2008, 2:14 pm

Re: New Fanfic Coming

Post by Mike B » Jan 28th 2008, 2:31 pm

Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it!

I'll clean up some spelling mistakes this week and submit ep 20 to the administrators by this Friday evening.

I brought EP 21 up to 7100 words this weekend. It's around 85% complete. :)

Mike B
Nicky Driscoll
Posts: 18
Joined: Jan 7th 2008, 2:14 pm

Re: New Fanfic Coming

Post by Mike B » Jan 29th 2008, 10:21 pm

Hi everyone :-)

I submitted episode 20 just a moment ago to the site administrators. I read on the story submission page that the admins like to read stories before posting them to the archive. It might be a bit till they get to it, but they'll send me an email when it's up.

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Sascha (sab)
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Re: New Fanfic Coming

Post by Sascha (sab) » Jan 30th 2008, 7:25 am

Thanks for submitting your fanfiction story! I had some free time this morning and added your story to the site. It's now online at:

http://www.mscl.com/fanfiction/continua ... urage.html
Sascha A. Beck (sab) :: MSCL.com
www.mscl.com :: www.sablog.de

Mike B
Nicky Driscoll
Posts: 18
Joined: Jan 7th 2008, 2:14 pm

Re: New Fanfic Coming

Post by Mike B » Feb 2nd 2008, 7:27 pm

Happy weekend, everyone.

Thanks Elaine and Rachel for commenting. I look forward to seeing more! Feel free to rate and comment on the ep's page.

I'm happy to try and answer questions and discuss the ep here if you like.

:)

Mike B
Nicky Driscoll
Posts: 18
Joined: Jan 7th 2008, 2:14 pm

Re: New Fanfic Coming

Post by Mike B » Feb 11th 2008, 9:27 am

Hi Everyone :-)

Hope you had a great weekend! Thanks MonnyUK and Anne for commenting on episode 20!

Episode 21 is very almost ready; I hope to submit in the next few days. Till then, here are the first few scenes.






FADE IN

INT. LIBERTY HIGH SCHOOL - ENGLISH CLASSROOM - DAY

Mr. Katimski reads from Our Town.

KATIMSKI: There's an early-afternoon calm in our town: a buzzin' and a
hummin' from the school buildings; only a few buggies on Main Street -
the horses dozing at the hitching posts; you all remember what it's like.
Doc Gibbs is in his office, tapping people and making them say "ah." Mr.
Webb's cuttin' his lawn over there; one man in ten thinks it's a privilege to
push his own lawn mower.

He puts the book down and pauses.

KATIMSKI: See, the story is about the people. It's about how they live their lives.

CLOSEUP: His eyes move left to right, scanning the room. Our POV shifts to his, and we see...most students not paying attention.

KATIMSKI: Anyway, since the drama club is performing Our Town this Friday and Saturday evening, I thought it would be good for you all to read it. Oh, and did I mention? Extra credit for all those who attend.

Twenty sets of eyes look to him.

KATIMSKI: And write me a short two-page analysis.

Twenty simultaneous groans.

KATIMSKI: Now, I know this is not alot of time. Maybe we can pair off and help each other.

He pairs them off.

KATIMSKI: You and you; you and you; you and you. Who's left?

On opposite ends of the room, Angela and Brian sit, uneasy.

KATIMSKI: Angela? Why don't you pair with Brian.

They exchange a quick glance.

Bell Rings. Notebooks slap shut. Bookbags zip. Students crowd the exit.

KATIMSKI: Please read act one for tomorrow please!

Brian eyes Angela and tries to push through the crowd to get to her. Just as he gets close, Jordan moves in.

JORDAN and BRIAN: Hey.

Angela whips around. She looks at Jordan, lingers on Brian, then back
to Jordan.

ANGELA: (weirded out) Hey.

Jordan stares at Brian, who yields and leaves. For just a moment, Jordan watches him go. Turning his attention to Angela, they walk into:


INT. LIBERTY HIGH SCHOOL - HALLWAY - DAY

JORDAN: So, extra credit, huh?

ANGELA: *Yeah*.

JORDAN: Sounds like somethin' I could use.

ANGELA: Tell me about it.

Jordan looks at her, questioning.

ANGELA: I mean, I could sure use extra credit, too.

This satisfies him.

KATIMSKI (O.S.): (calling) Angela!

She cringes but turns toward him anyway.

ANGELA: Mr. Katimski, hi.

Katimski enters the frame.

KATIMSKI: (like he's telling her for the first time) Tom Baker? Had to drop out of Our Town. You were so emotive with Rayanne a while back, I thought you'd be perfect.

JORDAN: Catch you later.

Jordan walks away. Angela wordlessly protests his leaving.

KATIMSKI: I know it's last minute but...(to get her attention) you have such potential! (beat, Angela's more rattled than he expected) I'm sorry, I don't mean to be....but you do.

ANGELA: (recovering) I really don't mean to sound rude or anything? Because that *sounds* really-- (beat, one last longing glance at Jordan) It's just that because I'm already selling *tickets*? And, oh gosh lines? I like even forget to--

KATIMSKI: Gee wiz; it's just a small part. A few lines really.

He steps closer.

KATIMSKI: I can see you being so good in this role.

ANGELA: (grudgingly curious) Which role?

KATIMSKI: (excited) See, it's usually played by a male, but *I* think--

ANGELA: (overlapping) A male?

KATIMSKI: (cont'd) You'd be perfect. (tantalizing) There's extra
credit involved.

ANGELA: (more curious) Like extra *extra* credit?

KATIMSKI: Oh, of course. For all cast and crew, I'm giving extra credit cause theatre is strenuous business. N-not that you'd be *strained* in any way, mind you….

Beat, he gauges her interest. Then starts walking with her.

KATIMSKI: (soothing) Why don't you take a few hours? No pressure. You can come to rehearsal with Enrique. He can introduce you. (beat, he lets it sink in) I'd better get to my next class. (he moves away, cheerful) Have a good day!

Ricky approaches as a befuddled Angela watches him go.

RICKY: What's he up to this time?

ANGELA: (with distaste) He wants me to take this part in Our Town.

RICKY: Tom Baker's?

ANGELA: Yeah, how’d you--

DELIA (O.S.): (bubbly) *There* you are. I've been looking for you.

Delia enters the frame and grabs Ricky's arm. Ricky and Angela share a
confused look.

RICKY: (neutral) Oh, hi.

DELIA: I was wondering, could you please help me with Bio over lunch?

RICKY: I'd like to, but I promised Angela I'd--

ANGELA: No, it's okay. Go help Delia.

RICKY: You sure?

ANGELA: Yeah, I still have like 20 tickets to sell.

RICKY: Thanks.

Delia smiles at Angela then steers Ricky away.

DELIA (O.S.): There's *something* in my petri dish, but I'm not sure what. Let me show you.

PRELAP:

RAYANNE'S VOICE: *What*?!


INT. LIBERTY HIGH SCHOOL - GIRLS' ROOM - DAY

Rayanne, in front of the mirror, anxiously tosses her braids. Sharon, at the sink, is giving Rayanne a look.

SHARON: Nothing. I...what are you *doing*?

RAYANNE: (irritated with them) *Something* with these braids.

She steps closer to Sharon and gazes at her.

RAYANNE: Sometimes? It's like my hair's a metaphor for my life.
(not distressed) It makes no sense. (beat, she takes in Sharon's whole
head) Like *your* hair? Makes perfect sense.

Sharon backs away.

RAYANNE: Oh, it's not a bad thing.

Rayanne tilts her head, studying Sharon's long, straight hair.

RAYANNE: It's like you've got stuff figured out. Like, your*self* figured out.

This flatters Sharon.

RAYANNE: And the stuff you don't understand? You just *force* it smooth. So it's like...easier. To deal with.

SHARON: (unsettled, possibly even disgusted) *Why* are you *telling*
me this?

RAYANNE: (off Sharon's tone) See? See what I mean?

Frustrated, Sharon turns to leave.

RAYANNE: Like I said, it's not like a bad *thing*. At least that's what
Amber says.

Sharon considers and then says in a softer, conspiring tone:

SHARON: You know whose hair I *completely* can't resist?

Rayanne, very curious, shakes her head. Sharon's eyes go dreamy.

SHARON: *Brad* *Pitt*.

Rayanne's eyes go dreamy.

RAYANNE: It's so smooth.

SHARON: Even when it's wavy.

Angela enters, and, catching them in dreamy bliss, stops, not sure
what to make of them.

ANGELA: Hi you guys.

Startled, they snap out of it and stand rigid, side by side. Sharon tries to hide her guilt:

SHARON: Hi, Angela. So, what's new?

Their uneasy gazes follow as Angela walks to the sink. She
studies her reflection, running fingers through her hair.

ANGELA: Can I ask you guys something?

SHARON and RAYANNE: *Sure*.

ANGELA: Should I let my hair color go natural?

Sharon attempts to conceal giggles, and Rayanne grabs her bag.

RAYANNE: In my opinion? (beat, Angela nods slightly) Keep the red. It's a good thing for you.

She pats Angela's shoulder and exits.

SHARON: What makes you think about your hair color?

ANGELA: Katimski wants me in his play.

SHARON: Our Town? Doesn't it open like this weekend?

ANGELA: Friday, but I haven't even decided if I want to do it.

Sharon steps closer.

SHARON: You know? From one friend to another? You should do it. (Angela looks curious) It might be… good for you.

Sharon touches Angela's shoulder and exits.

Mike B
Nicky Driscoll
Posts: 18
Joined: Jan 7th 2008, 2:14 pm

Re: New Fanfic Coming

Post by Mike B » Feb 11th 2008, 10:02 pm

Hi Everyone!!

I just submitted Episode 21 to the admins. It might not be posted right away, so, feel free to check out the first few scenes above this post.

Also, feel free to rate the ep and leave comments.

Episode 22 is well underway at 3000 words!

Cheers! :-)

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Sascha (sab)
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Re: New Fanfic Coming

Post by Sascha (sab) » Feb 12th 2008, 2:56 pm

Mike B wrote: I just submitted Episode 21 to the admins.
And there it is: EPISODE 21: OUR TOWN - THIS FRIDAY NIGHT!

Thanks again for submitting your stories to MSCL.com!
Sascha A. Beck (sab) :: MSCL.com
www.mscl.com :: www.sablog.de

Mike B
Nicky Driscoll
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Joined: Jan 7th 2008, 2:14 pm

Re: New Fanfic Coming

Post by Mike B » Feb 24th 2008, 3:31 pm

Hi Everyone :-)

Hope the weekend's good for you all. I took a crack at writing an original screenplay, and dang that was hard. Then my girlfriend says, "No, silly. Don't think about the plot. Think about the characters. Like you do when you're writing MSCL fanfiction."

So, that was a big Duh-Squared moment for me. Next time I try that, I'm going to first think about people I know or have known and make little mini bios first.

With MCSL, we already have wonderful characters! And many of them are in the EP 22 I'm writing. It's got 7200 words to it so far, but I think I'd like more time with it than it'll take to write another 1000 or so words.

I think I'm gonna go for a run, and then get back to the computer!

Oh, and by the way - thank you MonnyUK and Elaine for offering your feedback on my ep 21!

Mike B
Nicky Driscoll
Posts: 18
Joined: Jan 7th 2008, 2:14 pm

Re: New Fanfic Coming

Post by Mike B » Mar 8th 2008, 10:42 am

Hi Everyone!

I hope you're all doing well. I just got a cool little voice recorder, so when I have ideas in the car, I can record them. It's really fun.

Thanks anon and Shelley for leaving comments on my ep 21!

EP 22 I think will be ready to submit around next Friday. For now, here are the first 1500 words. They're not spell-checked, and I might make small changes for the final draft, but here they are. Have a great weekend!



ACT ONE

FADE IN:


INT. GRAFF HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - MORNING

AMBER: And what special day is tomorrow, Rainey?

RAYANNE: (unenthused) Valentine's Day.

AMBER: (with wistful excitement) Cupid, Venus...oh I *love* Valentine's
Day.

RAYANNE: Mom? I don't think I'm into it this year.

Amber puts her arm around Rayanne, and gently strokes her hair.

AMBER: What's wrong, baby? You and Angela, you two okay?

RAYANNE: Yes, mom. We're fine, I guess. (beat, she wonders about it)
She's like totally got this guy now who gave her this amazing letter.
Written... by another guy.

AMBER: (sympathizing) And you wish you could get a letter like this?
From a special someone?

Rayanne pulls away.

RAYANNE: I wish I could *write* a letter like this.

AMBER: Well, maybe Angela will let you read it and take notes, Rainey.
After all, what are friends for?

RAYANNE: (not at all convinced) Maybe.


INT. CHASE HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY

PATTY: I'll be home late tonight. After the meeting.

GRAHAM: (mild sarcasm) You have a meeting?

PATTY: *Yes*. Ron Jacobs is one tough customer.

The toaster pops. Graham grabs hot, blackened toast.

GRAHAM: Ow!

He hurries to the faucet and opens cold water. Patty stops, realizing:

PATTY: Hey, tomorrow's Valentine's Day.

GRAHAM: (turning toward her) Already?

Danielle enters and walks to the toaster. Patty gives Graham a look.

GRAHAM: (cont'd) I mean, so soon?

DANIELLE: This toaster is like seriously broken.

PATTY: Muffins are in the fridge, honey.

Danielle searches the fridge.

PATTY: (to Graham) I thought
we *like* Valentine's Day.

GRAHAM: Umm, ah... we do?

Angela enters. Patty and Graham acknowledge her with a look.

ANGELA: We do what?

DANIELLE: (with her head in the fridge) Have nothing to eat in like this entire
house.

GRAHAM: (taking personal offense) Hey, there's plenty to eat.

Angela tries to get in the fridge but is blocked by Danielle.

PATTY: (thrown, to Graham) We *have*... always liked it before.

ANGELA: Danielle. Move.

Danielle moves away, sulking.

DANIELLE: I'm hungry.

Angela takes an english muffin for herself and pops it in the toaster.
Graham notices, pulls away from the cold water, and unplugs the
toaster.

GRAHAM: (indicating his burnt finger, to Angela, ) Uh, honey. Don't use
that. There's some EXOTIC DISH in the freezer I made last night.

Angela opens the freezer, impressed. Danielle leans around Angela to
see.

DANIELLE: Cool!

PATTY: (to Graham, with a significant look) Graham? When did you
make that? I thought you couldn't stay awake last night after we--

GRAHAM: (embarrassed) I ah, couldn't sleep.

PATTY: (a bit hurt) You couldn't?

GRAHAM: (to head off conflict) Hey, why don't we do something for Valentine's
Day?

PATTY: (pleasantly surprised) Really?

ANGELA: Valentine's Day is such a joke.

DANIELLE: Not in *my* class. Cause everyone gets Valentines.

PATTY: (shocked) I thought *all* girls like Valentine's Day. Don't they?

The girls are having trouble with the EXOTIC DISH.

GRAHAM: (to the girls) Here, let me help.

He takes it and pops it in the mircowave.

Patty watches them and sighs.

PATTY: I guess not.


INT. LIBERTY HIGH SCHOOL - HALLWAY - DAY

Bell Rings. Students instantly fill the hallway. We find Rayanne and
Angela.

ANGELA: So... are you two like friends now?

RAYANNE: (with a look) Who?

ANGELA: You. And Sharon.

RAYANNE: (a bit defensive) Maybe.

ANGELA: (immediately) I don't mind or anything.

RAYANNE: You don't mind? Like I have your permission?

ANGELA: No, I just didn't know if... it was like at all weird for you? Being
friends with her... and me.

RAYANNE: (dismissive) That's great.

Beat.

RAYANNE: So, doing anything
special for Valentine's Day? You know, with someone special?

ANGELA: Like with....?

RAYANNE: *Yes*, like with.

Angela shies away.

RAYANNE: Come *on*. You've been sorta kinda not with him for like... an eternity.

ANGELA: (not certain) I guess.

Rayanne fires a critical gaze.

ANGELA: (off Rayanne's look) What do you want me to do? One does not
make plans with Jordan Catalano. For Valentine's Day especially.

Her expression sours.

ANGELA: Besides, he's been acting really weird like... we had this argument in his car the other day.

RAYANNE: (impressed) *You*? *You* are having
arguments with Jordan Catalano?

Rayanne throws her head back and her arms and heavenward.

RAYANNE: (reverent) Thank you. For this one thing.

Angela smacks her shoulder.

ANGELA: (playfully mortified) *Stop* it. It wasn't like *that* kind of
argument.

RAYANNE: Sure, and I mean one drink when I *say* one drink.

Angela gives her a look.

ANGELA: What's *that* supposed to mean?

RAYANNE: Not even you, with all your analyzing and innocence, can deny Cupid's
arrow on Valentine's Day.

ANGELA: *Oh* god....

Students rush past holding a large oaktag poster. A blur of red and pink, it blankets the screen but moves too fast to
take in. We WIPE TO:


INT. LIBERTY HIGH SCHOOL - ANOTHER PART OF HALLWAY - DAY

In the crowded hallway, two students carry oak tag posters, searching for suitable wallspace. They find some and start to
hang one. We find Rayanne
approaching Ricky. She stops a ways off when she sees Brian pop out from the
crowd right by Ricky.

BRIAN: Hey.

RICKY: Hey.

BRIAN: (anxious) So, back when you were, you know, informing Angela, did she let you read
it?

RICKY: Brian? Am I supposed to know what you're talking about?

Brian nods at the floor.

BRIAN: Jordan Catalano's letter.

RICKY: Oh. No, but I have to say, her reaction to it did make me curious.

Brian leans close.

BRIAN: (quietly) Do you want to?

Rayanne registers the secrecy and discreetly moves closer to listen. Brian and
Ricky don't see her.

RICKY: Read it? Well... yeah. But, I don't think Angela would appreciate
my asking--

BRIAN: I re-wrote it.

Ricky isn't sure what to make of this.

BRIAN: I couldn't stop thinking about it. I needed a copy. To like *have*.
So I wrote it down, word for word.

Ricky's interested. So is Rayanne.

RICKY: You have it on you?

BRIAN: I can show you right after lunch. Stop by my locker.

RICKY: Sounds good. (a thought occurs to him) But, just so you
know? I am not talking to Angela about this again.

BRIAN: No, right. That like wasn't what I was thinking at all.

They stare at each other then part in opposite directions.
Rayanne watches Brian go.


INT. LIBERTY HIGH SCHOOL - ENGLISH CLASSROOM - DAY

Katimski paces.

KATIMKSI: I thought...

He reaches into his desk drawer and produces a VHS cassette of ROXANNE.

KATIMSKI: (cont'd) in honor of...... Valentine's Day, we'd watch a little
romantic comedy.

STUDENT 1: Hey isn't that kinda like Cyrano DiBergerac?

KATIMSKI: Yes. But updated without so much death. I thought it'd
be less depressing. Cause Valentine's Day can be somewhat... depressing.

A few students nod in agreement. He looks at the back of the case.

KATIMSKI: It's got Steve Martin, Daryl Hannah,
Damon Wayans.... what else could you ask for, right?

He pops in the cassette and it begins to roll. We close TIGHT on Angela,
watching the screen, lost in her own, dreamy world.

ANGELA (V.O.): Cyrano DiBergerac is a smart guy. Really smart. Except, he
has this giant nose and fears that, because of it, no woman can love him.

She glances at Brian. HER POV - TIGHT on his hair.

ANGELA (V.O.): (cont'd) There's another guy, very attractive, but not smart
in the traditional sense.

She turns and - ANGELA'S POV: Jordan, gazing blankly at the TV screen. Then,
she faces forward.

ANGELA (V.O.): (cont'd) They spend their entire adult lives vieing for the love
of a woman. It's complicated, but the whole situation revolves around some
serious communication issues.

She scrunches her face in thought. Then,

ANGELA (V.O.): (cont'd) I'm glad *I'm* not involved in anything like this.

DISSOLVE TO:


INT. LIBERTY HIGH SCHOOL - HALLWAY - DAY

Several students walk and chat. Brian's at his locker. He finds the letter, folds it, puts it in his
notebook. As he's closing the locker, he notices Delia passing by.

BRIAN: So I hear you like single-handedly sold out Our Town.

DELIA: (annoyed) So?

He retreats down the hall, walking backwards:

BRIAN: So, so *great* then. I just thought I should tell you that I like *heard*.

He's passing the girls' room door, focused on the exasperated look
Delia's giving him, when Rayanne, in a rush, exits the girls' room. BAM, they
collide.

RAYANNE: Hey, watch where you're going, Krakow!

Brian's notebook drops to the floor; the folded piece of paper comes
loose. Rayanne spots it. Her eyes widen. She looks to Brian then back to
the paper. Brian registers this. They both lunge for it like two dueling enemies. Rayanne's got the quickest draw.

RAYANNE: (excited) Oh my god... is this what I *think* it is?

Brian is less than pleased.

BRIAN: Give it back.

She takes her eyes off him for an instant to peek inside. Her eyes widen.

RAYANNE: Oh I will. But first *Krakow* I... I *have* to read this.

He grabs his hair. He wants to protest, but before he can, she
skips off. Ricky walks up to him.

RICKY: Brian? What's wrong?

Brian shakes his head and exits.

END ACT ONE

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