"Partner" or "Spouse" - the significance

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Jody Barsch*
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"Partner" or "Spouse" - the significance

Post by Jody Barsch* » Nov 24th 2004, 2:33 am

My sister is currently attending a UC earning her multiple-subject teaching credential program. The program is progressive and geared towards training teachers to work in low-income inner-city schools. Often my family (now with three teachers) discusses pedagogical theory, and last night a topic of interest came up: the Teacher Education Program encourages their teachers to refer to their husbands or wives, girlfriends or boyfriends as their "partner". Ex: "My partner and I are going to spend the weekend with his parents". This seemingly small thing sparked quite a debate at out family dinner. One person sitting at the table thought of it as inappropriate and rediculous, even an attempt to undermine marriage. (As a person who sometimes gets carried away when disagreeing -- this person refused to even admit that their spouse was their partner :roll: ) What do you guys think of this?
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wicked
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Post by wicked » Nov 24th 2004, 12:23 pm

I think it's a case of political correctness gone mad on the part of the school, and perhaps overreaction from the person at the table.

My husban is my partner, he's also my friend, my lover and my buddy. I refer to him as my husband, and probably would not refer to him as my "partner" because it suggests that there is no marriage.


NOW I don't care one bit if people are married living together straight gay or waddever! I have gay married friends who refer to each other as "husbands".
"So this is hell. I'd never have believed it. You remember all we were told about the torture-chambers, the fire and brimstone, the "burning marl." Old wive's tales! There's no need for red-hot pokers. HELL IS - OTHER PEOPLE!"

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grim4746
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Post by grim4746 » Nov 24th 2004, 6:57 pm

I found this interesting so I looked up the words "spouse" and "partner" a couple of times. Usually the word "partner" was used in the definition of "spouse": "A marriage partner; a husband or wife". I think it's picky of the school to encourage but I see no harm so long as there is no real pressure to conform. And though I'd like to say the objector at the table was paranoid it is not that unrealistic to be concerned that what is 'encouraged' today could be policy tomorrow. To me "partner" has more emotional meaning and significance than "spouse" but "husband" or "wife" seems like it would be most natural (in a roll of the tongue, not God's plan sort of way) and meaningful to most people.

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Post by Nothingman » Nov 24th 2004, 7:59 pm

I fail to see how the mentioning of a traditional family unit could possibly hurt a child. If anything, I think kids from single parent households would only benefit by being more exposed to traditional home, or at least hearing about one. Kids from single parents are very likely to repeat the same pattern and become single parents themselves. I'm for anything that can redirect them and keep them from repeating what their parent did.

I can understand not assuming a traditional family unit when refering to a child's family, as to not insinuate that that what the should have and they are abnormal if they don't. But when it comes to the teachers life, tell it how it is.

My fifth grade teacher has cistic fibrosis, she was up front with us and all of her students knew and understood why she came in late some days. It tought me a lot about illness and I'm grateful she had the strength to share her struggle with us. My point is just because a teachers life is different from your family doesn't mean that it is a problem. Kids should be exposed to as many different lifestyles as possible, assuming they are appropriately addressed and explained.
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wicked
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Post by wicked » Nov 24th 2004, 8:07 pm

My point is just because a teachers life is different from your family doesn't mean that it is a problem. Kids should be exposed to as many different lifestyles as possible, assuming they are appropriately addressed and explained.
amen to that!
why are so many people afriad of explaining the "different?"
why are so many parents afraid of explaining stuff to their kids?
"So this is hell. I'd never have believed it. You remember all we were told about the torture-chambers, the fire and brimstone, the "burning marl." Old wive's tales! There's no need for red-hot pokers. HELL IS - OTHER PEOPLE!"

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lance
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Post by lance » Nov 28th 2004, 4:51 pm

wicked wrote:
My point is just because a teachers life is different from your family doesn't mean that it is a problem. Kids should be exposed to as many different lifestyles as possible, assuming they are appropriately addressed and explained.
amen to that!
why are so many people afriad of explaining the "different?"
why are so many parents afraid of explaining stuff to their kids?
I don't see a problem with it. If you want to refer to your significant other as husband, wife, partner that's really up to the two of you.

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Post by SanDeE* » Nov 28th 2004, 5:45 pm

wicked wrote:why are so many people afriad of explaining the "different?"
why are so many parents afraid of explaining stuff to their kids?
Because of denial. Because of closed-mindedness (is that a word?). Because of fear. Because of conservatism. Because of religion.

I think that parents who refuse to explain things - especially the unpleasant things like sex & drugs, etc - are NOT doing their children a favor. If my parents had not explained things like that to me when I was younger, I would have gotten in a lot more trouble than I did, not doubt about it. I better stop now, or else I'll get too fired up!!
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emmie
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Post by emmie » Nov 28th 2004, 8:07 pm

Kristin wrote:
wicked wrote:why are so many people afriad of explaining the "different?"
why are so many parents afraid of explaining stuff to their kids?
Because of denial. Because of closed-mindedness (is that a word?). Because of fear. Because of conservatism. Because of religion.

I think that parents who refuse to explain things - especially the unpleasant things like sex & drugs, etc - are NOT doing their children a favor. If my parents had not explained things like that to me when I was younger, I would have gotten in a lot more trouble than I did, not doubt about it. I better stop now, or else I'll get too fired up!!
I agree. my parents were upfront with me about everything at a young age. and I don't think that it warped my mind or ideals at all. they had many gay friends in the 80s, so I just accepted their lifestyle. I also learned about AIDs and death at a young age as well. but I think I'm better for it. they were never preachy, but simply told me how things were. and because of this, I wasn't nearly as eager to rebel in high school like so many others. sure, I experimented, but no more than that. because my parents had never hidden things from me, none of it had a mystery for me.

so um, back to the topic.... I don't think that everyone should be forced to use the same label. because life isn't that simple. there are different relationships and they shouldn't be ignored just to be politically correct. I agree with Nothingman that teachers should be allowed to tell the truth to their students. doesn't it just add to their learning experience and expose them to more culturally? as I wrote above, I was 5 when a family member died of AIDs. so maybe we shouldn't underestimate what children can handle.

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Post by special_k » Nov 28th 2004, 9:14 pm

lance wrote: I don't see a problem with it. If you want to refer to your significant other as husband, wife, partner that's really up to the two of you.

-LanceMan

Pretty spiffy there, Lance. ;)
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Jessie, "Once and Again"

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