Wants & Needs

[Nostradamus]

In terms of interpersonal relationships, either platonic or romantic, who do the characters want, and whom do they need? How intense and/or genuine are these feelings? How does this tie into other aspects of their relationships?

For example, take the Brian-Angela-Jordan triangle. Is it true that Brian, for much of the series, wants a romantic relationship with Angela more keenly than Jordan? And if so, does that make him a better potential partner for her, inasmuch as his feelings are stronger, or does it put him at a disadvantage, because he could be seen as desperate and even pathetic? Similarly, is Jordan more desirable for his cool detachment, or just frustratingly remote? Could it be that Jordan needs Angela more than he consciously wants her?

Anyway, I've been thinking along these lines lately and would be interested in your opinions and insights on any of the key relationships in the show...



(Also, if any of you grammarian-types can correct me on the who/whom usage above, feel free; I never could figure that one out... )

[Guest]

Their situation is extremely complicated , IMHO.Take Angela/ Brian for example.I think Angela needs Brian because of his support, but under no circumstances does she want him.Brian on the other hand doesn't need her as much as he wants her.And yes, I'm inclined to believe that he is desperate rather than more suitable.As for Jordan/ Angela situation, anyone's guess is as good as mine.But, I do think that Jordan demonstrated the same measure of wantingness as well as neediness throughout the show( especially ep #12-19).But I really don't think guys are the issue in this show.They are both obviously hooked on her, but what about Angela? She obviously needs curly but wants greasy, and to be truly in love with somebody, shouldn't both things be met?

[Guest]

Could it be that Jordan needs Angela more than he consciously wants her?

I'm not sure I even know what that means?!

[Nostradamus]

Could it be that Jordan needs Angela more than he consciously wants her?

I'm not sure I even know what that means?!

At least initially, Angela seems to hover on the periphery of Jordan's thoughts, while she is already obsessing over him. In terms of emotional needs, however, it is Jordan, the isolated loner, who stands to benefit more from a close friendship or romance. Angela maintains several trusting, intimate connections among her family and friends; she may pine for young love, but if need be, she'll do fine without it.

[emmie]

as far as what Angela needs/wants, I do believe that she needs Jordan. I don't think that she had a self-esteem problem at all, but I do think that she is like any 15 year old and has some insecurities. especially at this time in her life when she is making new friends and changing. I think she needs Jordan as well as wants him because he he lends confidence to this new growing Angela. he is there to help push her to maturity and adulthood. he is so different from anyone she has come in contact with, that she inevitably will learn from him. I feel that Angela needs Rayanne in a similar way. she is there to help Angela embrace her new life.


what about Graham and Patty? does Graham need Patty as much as she needs him? and vice versa?

[grim4746]

Good question about Graham and Patty. I think they do need each other pretty much equally. I think Graham is mixed up about it though. He seems to not feel needed and that causes problems for them but when she does need him he sometimes acts stifled and withdraws. He certainly isn't comfortable with showing that he needs her most of the time.

[sunshine11]

as far as what Angela needs/wants, I do believe that she needs Jordan. I don't think that she had a self-esteem problem at all, but I do think that she is like any 15 year old and has some insecurities. especially at this time in her life when she is making new friends and changing. I think she needs Jordan as well as wants him because he he lends confidence to this new growing Angela. he is there to help push her to maturity and adulthood. he is so different from anyone she has come in contact with, that she inevitably will learn from him. I feel that Angela needs Rayanne in a similar way. she is there to help Angela embrace her new life.


what about Graham and Patty? does Graham need Patty as much as she needs him? and vice versa?

Wow.. it's hard to add anything because you said everything I was thinking. I'll just say DITTO to your entire post.

[emmie]

Good question about Graham and Patty. I think they do need each other pretty much equally. I think Graham is mixed up about it though. He seems to not feel needed and that causes problems for them but when she does need him he sometimes acts stifled and withdraws. He certainly isn't comfortable with showing that he needs her most of the time.

I just watched Strangers in the House last night and it was a perfect example of what you wrote. Patty was vulnerable for once and was consciously clinging to Graham. and while he needed her too, he pulled away. it seemed as though he got more comfort in helping out Mrs. Chersky. I think this is one of the best written episodes for the adult characters.