Moving

[SanDeE*]

My fiance moved about 1,000 miles away from me a couple of months ago for school. I have this one last year here, and he's just starting two years there. It's looking really unlikely that I'll move out there next year when I'm done with school, I probably won't be able to afford it.

I must admit that I didn't realize how badly this would suck. We've been apart for the summer before, but of course we could just hop in the car and drive a few hours whenever to see each other. Now, it's a huge hassle thanks to air travel being pretty much the only way to visit. Not to mention school schedules being super demanding, and none of our breaks match up well.

ARRRGGHGHHHH!!!!!!!

[Natasha (candygirl)]

That sucks. I had a few long distance relationships and hated it every single time. I said I would never do it again, but I ended up having to do it one more time for over two years. This was way back in the olden days before email or free long distance on cell phones, so we ended up spending almost every penny we had on plane tickets and phone bills. We wrote letters almost every day, we called each other every night, and we managed to see each other about one weekend a month. It totally sucked, but in the end it was worth it. People thought we were crazy for spending all our money on calling each other and visiting, but you have to decide what's important. I don't think you can have a good relationship by NOT communicating, so we did the best we could. It just meant I didn't waste money on clothes, CDs, eating at restaurants, etc.

The sucky thing about long distance is that you both have to work at it. If only one person is trying, it won't work. You both have to be willing to make a huge effort to keep things going, even if that means sometimes doing things that aren't necessarily the most convenient for you. I think that's true of any relationship even if you live in the same house though, so it's just a different level of compromise. Some of my other long distance relationships ended because of the distance - we just didn't want to put in the necessary effort because we were more concerned with other stuff or what was easier. Those relationships would have ended eventually due to other things, but the long distance just brought things into focus sooner.

I really sympathize with your situation. It's so hard to be apart from someone who you are used to spending a lot of time with. As important as emotional support is, sometimes you really need the person to be physically there for a hug or so you can see them standing right in front of you. And it's so frustrating when they are situations where you know they would laugh or say certain things and there is no one sitting next to you to actually say it or laugh. You guys will get through it though. Thank goodness for email and free long distance!

[lance]

My fiance moved about 1,000 miles away from me a couple of months ago for school. I have this one last year here, and he's just starting two years there. It's looking really unlikely that I'll move out there next year when I'm done with school, I probably won't be able to afford it.

I must admit that I didn't realize how badly this would suck. We've been apart for the summer before, but of course we could just hop in the car and drive a few hours whenever to see each other. Now, it's a huge hassle thanks to air travel being pretty much the only way to visit. Not to mention school schedules being super demanding, and none of our breaks match up well.

ARRRGGHGHHHH!!!!!!!

Argh, definate argh.

I agree with Candy. Long distance relationships can work but man are they a ton of work. All I can say is that if you both really want it to work you will find a way.

My definate sympathies.

-LanceMan

[Jody Barsch*]

Starbug, are you still around at times? How has the move to New Zealand been?

[Natasha (candygirl)]

Yup, she's still in NZ! Next thing you know she'll convert to a Kiwi accent.