Future Fan Fic Project?

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Post by Guest » May 23rd 2003, 8:09 am

TomSpeed wrote:*****

Maybe Angela having three past lovers is more realistic? Having Jordan be one of them is an obvious choice. I'll need to think about this subject some more.
yeah, three lovers sounds great...And of course she had sex with Jordan.
Pleas write more :D

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Post by TomSpeed » May 23rd 2003, 4:25 pm

I agree that Angela having former lovers makes more sense. I like the idea of Jordan having some type of hold over Angela, but if they never had sex, how strong could that hold be? The fact that they had sex makes the goodbye scene in my last story have a stronger meaning. I was ambiguous about whether they had sex or not in my last story, but the implication that Jordan showed up at her house when her parents were gone to have sex was very strong. I have a feeling that Angela and Jordan had sex during one of Angela's summer vacations from college. However, sex wasn't enough to keep their relationship together. However, her feelings for Jordan ran strong. Therefore, until she finally said goodbye to him, her relationships were shaky at best. I might need to go back and fill in some of these things in this story. I might end this episode before they return to Pittsburgh for Rayanne's play. Then I will write another episode with Angela and Brian in Pittsburgh. I'll be able to tell the Jordan and Angela story in flashback.

It's amazing how I'm setting myself to keep writing episodes. Am I a sucker or what?
TomSpeed

Patty: If Rayanne's not seeing you, and we're not seeing you, who is seeing you?
Graham: And how much of you?
Angela: Dad!
Graham: Oh, I'm sorry! I asked a question about your life, didn't I? Woah, what came over me?
http://www.last.fm/user/TomSpeed/

Guest

Post by Guest » May 28th 2003, 7:57 am

TomSpeed wrote:I .

It's amazing how I'm setting myself to keep writing episodes. Am I a sucker or what?
just write more stuff :roll:

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Post by TomSpeed » Jun 2nd 2003, 11:24 pm

Part Sixteen


Location: Fast food restaurant, early afternoon. Brian and Tom are eating lunch.

Tom – Those cheeseburgers are going to kill you, friend.

Brian – So, you think a few salads will make up for the fact that you smoke two packs of cigarettes a day?

Tom – Things have a way of balancing out each other out. Anyway, I’m down to one-and-half packs now.

Brian – I’ll be bringing Trudy flowers soon for your funeral.

Tom – I’ll outlive you, guaranteed.

Brian – Are you going to be able to cover for me next weekend?

(Tom lights a cigarette. Brian indicates the no smoking sign sitting on the table.)

Tom – What are they going to do? Call the police?

Brian – Maybe, I’ll be sure to bring you some smokes when you are in the joint.

Tom – You are a prince among men.

Brian – It’s only one assignment. I covered for you six months ago. Remember? I had to drag my ass to Madrid.

Tom – You’re complaining about going to Madrid? We’re not talking about me going to Madrid. Ottawa is miles away from Madrid in more ways than one. I’ve been there too many times. There’s no action.

Brian – Maybe the President will be announcing which country he will be invading next. That will be exciting.

Tom – And you would miss it, too. I’m not lucky enough to have anything happen at this conference. I’ll be sitting outside in the cold smoking and drinking bourbon.

Brian – You would be doing that here anyway.

Tom – Yes, but it wouldn’t be cold. Hey, you know how things are done around here. You want a favor, you have to earn it. Pool, baby. Me and you. I’ll cover for you, if you beat me.

Brian – What happens if I don’t beat you?

Tom – Well, your pretty little girlfriend will be going to Pittsburgh alone next weekend. And you will be drinking bourbon in Ottawa. Bring Angela. She can lend a shoulder to cry on after I ground you down.

Brian – We’ll see who’s going down. Blake’s Billiards tonight at 8. Bring your stick. You’re going down.


Part Seventeen


Location: Angela’s office. Angela is sitting behind her desk. Miss Albergotti is sitting in front of her desk.

Miss Albergotti – I was thinking about “A Tree*A Rock*A Cloud.” You know? About the hobo. I think we all go through some type of change when a relationship ends. We don’t want to be alone. But we are afraid to take the next step.

Angela – I agree. It’s only natural for us to pull back when we are hurt. We take stock of things. We concentrate on things we can control. It’s also easier to love things that can’t love you back.

Miss Albergotti – You pull back from people. They can love you. But they can also cause you pain. However, the more time you spend away from people, the more your pain gets worse. The only cure is to fall in love again. But you will likely get hurt again. Right? It’s a vicious cycle. You build yourself up. Then you wait for the fall.

Angela – A few relationships last though. Sometimes, love can endure hardships. You have to be willing to take a chance.

Miss Albergotti – So, you have to want to get hurt?

Angela – Good question. I don’t think people want to get hurt when they embark on a new relationship. But they probably appreciate the fact that they can get hurt. A natural instinct would be to avoid things that can cause pain. However, if you avoid all meaningful contact with people, how can you find love?

Miss Albergotti – It’s a lot easier to find love than it is to keep love going. Most relationships fail. It might be easier just to forget about going through the trouble of finding someone. My parents got divorced three years ago. I saw it coming a long time before they did. I don’t know any couple who has made a relationship last. Do you?

Angela – Sure, I do. My parents.
Last edited by TomSpeed on Jul 29th 2003, 4:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.
TomSpeed

Patty: If Rayanne's not seeing you, and we're not seeing you, who is seeing you?
Graham: And how much of you?
Angela: Dad!
Graham: Oh, I'm sorry! I asked a question about your life, didn't I? Woah, what came over me?
http://www.last.fm/user/TomSpeed/

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Post by TomSpeed » Jun 6th 2003, 10:26 pm

Part Eighteen


Location: Chase house, early evening. Patty and Graham are putting away groceries in the kitchen.

Patty – Why did you buy all of this extra food?

(Graham is putting meat into the freezer.)

Graham – Angela is coming home next weekend.

Patty – I know, but she’s probably going to be eating out with her friends.

(Graham closes the freezer door.)

Graham – Well, I guess I got a little enthusiastic at the grocery store. Plus, she’s not going to eat every meal out. She loves my cooking.

Patty – Really?

Graham – She does. She calls me every week for an update on the daily specials. I think she will move back to Pittsburgh just for my cooking.

(Patty sits at the kitchen table.)

Patty – She calls you every week?

(Graham walks behind Patty’s chair. He puts his hands on her shoulders.)

Patty – Angela rarely calls me.

Graham – She asks about you though, all of the time.

Patty – It’s not the same thing. You have always been closer to her.

Graham – That’s not true. Don’t forget that she’s coming home because you asked Rayanne to invite Angela to her play.

Patty – What does that have to do with how close I am to Angela?

Graham – I’m not sure. But I wouldn’t have thought to invite her to see the play. You know how important Rayanne is to her. That’s how you show your closeness to her.

(Graham squeezes Patty’s shoulders. He resumes putting the can goods into the cabinet. Patty leaves the table. She hugs Graham from behind. Graham turns around to face her. They kiss.)

Patty – I like having you around.

Graham – Back at you.


Part Nineteen


Location: Parking lot of Blake’s Billiards. The parking lot is full of cars. Angela and Brian are walking away from Brian’s black Jetta. Angela is wearing black jeans and a white blouse. Brian is still wearing the coat and tie he wore to work. He is carrying his pool stick case.

Angela – Do I look okay? I wasn’t really sure what to wear tonight. I’ve never been to Atlanta’s finest pool hall before.

(Brian stops walking. Angela stops as well.)

Brian – Are you kidding? You look great. As a matter of fact, your beauty is so stunning, I shouldn’t of left my sunglasses in the car.

(Brian switches his case to his right hand. He takes Angela’s hand with his left hand. They start walking again.)

Angela VO* -- You’re so beautiful, it hurts to look at you. I have to say something. What can I say?

(They reach the door of the pool hall. Brian lets go of Angela’s hand. He opens the door. Angela enters and Brian follows.)

[Fade Out]

[Fade In]

(Angela and Trudy are sitting at a high table. Brian is standing, opening his case. He assembles his pool stick. Tom is standing by the pool table.)

Tom – The name of the game, ladies, is eight ball. The stakes are high. If Brian wins, I cover for him in fair, but chilly, Canada. If I win, Brian washes my car.

Angela – That doesn’t sound like a fair exchange to me.

Brian – Tom has a huge car.

Tom – And it’s pretty dirty, too.

Trudy – I don’t think Tom car’s been washed since he beat Brian in a similar bet a year ago.

Angela – They’ve done this before?

Trudy – Oh yes, pool is how they’ve settled things since they’ve known each other.

Angela – I didn’t even know Brian played pool before last night.

Brian – I guess the subject never came up. I played a little while I was in college.

Tom – I’ll break. Don’t be surprised if all the right balls fall neatly into the pockets.

Trudy – Brian’s just being modest. He’s a regular Minnesota Fats.

Brian – [to Angela] He was a pool player.

Angela – I know that Minnesota Fats was a pool player. I’ve seen The Hustler.

Trudy – [to Brian] Joyce Meadows taught you all about playing pool while you two were at Columbia.

Brian – [pause] She sure did.

Tom – I can’t believe it. I scratched on number five. Looks like you’re up, big guy.

(Brian approaches the pool table.)

Trudy – [softly to Angela] I shouldn’t have mentioned Joyce. That was stupid. I grew up with Joyce right here in Atlanta. She died in a car crash four years ago.

Angela – That’s why he probably never talked about playing pool. He told me about her. But he was pretty vague.

Trudy – Good memories can hurt pretty hard after a loved one has passed. She bought that pool stick for Brian for his birthday the year that she died.

[Fade Out]

[Fade In]

Brian – Eight ball, right corner pocket.

(Tom approaches the table.)

Tom – There’s no way you make this shot.

Trudy – Sink it, Brian. Show my man what you are made of.

Tom – Whose side are you on, Trudy? You’re supposed to be rooting for me.

Trudy – I just want to get you out of my hair for a few days. A woman needs her freedom every now and again.

Tom – That’s what I get for giving this woman the best ten years of my life.

(Trudy sticks her tongue out at Tom. Brian lines up his shot. Tom lights a cigarette and turns away from the table.)

Angela – Sink it, Brian.

(Brian looks at Angela and winks. He shoots. The eight ball sinks into the pocket.)

Brian – Looks like Tom’s heading to Canada.

Tom – Great! I know this little bar.

Trudy – Tom!

Brian – I thought you said there isn’t anything to do in Ottawa.

Angela – Way to go, Brian.

(Angela leaves the table and hugs Brian.)

Tom – I lied.

[Fade Out]

[Fade In]

(Angela and Brian are walking back to the car. They are holding hands.)

Angela – I have to get back to my apartment. Tomorrow is my early day.

Brian – No problem.

Angela – I know you are going to busy this week, but are you free Friday night?

Brian – Sure. Why?

Angela – It’s a surprise.

Brian – Will I be able to pry the information out of you while we go back to my place to get your car?

Angela – No, so don’t even try.

Brian – I love a woman of mystery.


*****

Hmmm. I'm not sure what to make of these recent scenes. They seem to be missing something. They just don't seem as sharp as earlier ones that I've written. I like the idea of learning things from people you date. And I like dealing with Angela and Brian's pasts in a roundabout way. However, I just don't think I have enough going on.
Last edited by TomSpeed on Jul 30th 2003, 9:55 am, edited 4 times in total.
TomSpeed

Patty: If Rayanne's not seeing you, and we're not seeing you, who is seeing you?
Graham: And how much of you?
Angela: Dad!
Graham: Oh, I'm sorry! I asked a question about your life, didn't I? Woah, what came over me?
http://www.last.fm/user/TomSpeed/

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Post by TomSpeed » Jun 10th 2003, 11:01 pm

Part Twenty


Location: Angela’s apartment, early evening. Angela is sitting at her desk, grading student papers.

(Someone knocks at the door. Angela leaves her desk and goes to the door. She looks through the peephole, then opens the door.)

Angela – I thought you were monumentally busy.

Brian – I’m not that monumentally busy. I came by so see if you had eaten dinner yet. (Brian holds up take-out bags.) I brought Chinese food.

Angela – Yummy!

Brian – Do you want to eat here?

Angela – No, I’ve been home and in the classroom most of the day. Let’s take a walk. I know where we can eat.

Brian – Lead the way.

[Fade Out]

[Fade In to new location – Clemson amphitheater]

(Angela and Brian are sitting on a step midway down the amphitheater. The fountain, causeway, and the library are before them. A sidewalk, with a few students walking along it and academic buildings are behind them. Street lamps behind them and the library before them light the area.)

Brian – Oh no, we’re down to the last butterfly shrimp. Do you want it?

Angela – Are you sure you don’t want it?

Brian – I’m sure. You can have it.

(Brian holds up the shrimp. Angela opens her mouth and Brian feeds her.)

Brian – Are you going to tell me what you have planned for Friday night?

Angela – No, I told you it’s going to be a surprise. Anyway, what happened to loving me because I’m mysterious?

Brian – Okay, you have a point. But can you give me a hint?

Angela – What do you think?

(Brian sighs.)

Angela – Did Joyce ever plan special surprises for you?

(Brian tenses.)

Brian – Why do you ask?

Angela – No particular reason. You don’t like talking about her, do you?

Brian – It’s not that I don’t like talking about her. It’s just that it…

Angela – I know it must hurt. You hardly ever talk about her though. I’m only curious. You used the pool stick she gave you the other night. [pause] Was she a good pool player?

Brian – Oh man, she was the best pool player I’ve ever seen. A pool stick was like a magic wand in her hands.

Angela – When did you meet?

Brian – I met her during my sophomore year at Columbia. It was a month or so after you had told me you had gotten back together with Jordan.

Angela – I remember talking to you about Jordan that summer. Jordan and I were getting serious. I thought I had to tell you.

Brian – You did the right thing. It was better for me to know what was going on instead of wondering. I loved you so much.

Angela – I know you did. But I was still in love with Jordan.

Brian – I understood. I kind of hoped you would snap out of it. But you didn’t.

Angela – Was Joyce in any of your classes?

Brian – Yes, I met her in class. You were kind of responsible for how we met.

Angela – How was I responsible?

Brian – Well, I decided at the start of the semester that I was going to sit next to the prettiest woman in each class.

Angela – You decided if you couldn’t have me, then you were going to put yourself in a position to meet someone else.

Brian – Exactly. It worked, too. I got up the nerve to ask her out one day. And that’s how things started.

Angela – And you fell in love.

Brian – We fell hard. We dated throughout most of our college years. We broke up a couple times along the way. But we got back together. After graduation, we ended up moving to Atlanta.

Angela – Did you talk about getting married?

Brian – We did. But we always thought we had plenty of time. We didn’t.

(Angela hugs Brian.)

Angela – I’m sorry, Brian.

Brian – Don’t be sorry. Things happen. We have to deal with them.
Last edited by TomSpeed on Jul 29th 2003, 9:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.
TomSpeed

Patty: If Rayanne's not seeing you, and we're not seeing you, who is seeing you?
Graham: And how much of you?
Angela: Dad!
Graham: Oh, I'm sorry! I asked a question about your life, didn't I? Woah, what came over me?
http://www.last.fm/user/TomSpeed/

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Post by TomSpeed » Jun 23rd 2003, 11:32 pm

Man, almost two weeks have passed since I've posted anything. I'm stuck again. The characters have been very silent. Maybe I can find their voices again. But I'm not really sure if they have anything else to say to me. We'll see how it goes.
TomSpeed

Patty: If Rayanne's not seeing you, and we're not seeing you, who is seeing you?
Graham: And how much of you?
Angela: Dad!
Graham: Oh, I'm sorry! I asked a question about your life, didn't I? Woah, what came over me?
http://www.last.fm/user/TomSpeed/

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Post by larrymcg » Jun 24th 2003, 3:24 am

This is a great story. Don't worry. The voice will come back to you. I wrote a couple stories more than five years ago and then suddenly felt the inspiration to continue it and finished a third one last week. I've already started on my fourth one. Stick with it. I can't wait to see what happens next.
Larry McGillicuddy
Author of Three Days in Three Rivers

"It does better than make sense. It makes you feel. It wakes you up."

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Post by TomSpeed » Jun 26th 2003, 11:26 pm

I sat and stared at a big empty computer monitor for about an hour tonight. Then I decided to go with an idea I had awhile ago about Angela and Brian having a song. The song doesn't appear in this scene, but this is the setup scene. I see, albeit hazily, a few more scenes involving Angela and Brian and their developing relationship. Then I have to get them to Pittsburgh, work in the other characters again, and make everything seem worthwhile. Anyway, I have no idea if any of what I've written makes a TV show, but at least I've taken another step towards getting this thing done.

*****

Part Twenty-One – Going Dancing


Location: Angela’s apartment, early evening. Angela and Brian are entering the apartment. Angela deactivates the burglar alarm and flips the light switch.

Brian – So, you treating me to dinner wasn’t my surprise?

Angela – The faultiness of your memory is surprising, Mr. Krakow. I pay for dinner at least half of the time.

Brian – You pay half of the time?

Angela – Okay, I pay about a quarter of the time. But I am an underpaid and overworked assistant professor. You, on the other hand, are a highly paid reporter for a big city newspaper. And you work at your leisure. Anyway, you insist on paying.

Brian – I work at my leisure? That’s hardly the truth. I’m out there with my feet on the ground scouring for stories at the crack of dawn. I hear that you sleep until nine-thirty some mornings.

Angela – And who told you that I sleep a little late sometimes?

Brian – You did. You love to remind me of it.

Angela – I not only teach, I write, too.

Brian – I think that’s what I do for the newspaper.

Angela – Yes, but I write academic papers, short stories, and, don’t tell anyone this, but I’ve written a novel, too.

Brian – I’ve read your novel.

Angela – What did you think of it?

Brian – Well, other than the fact that it was a bit slow in places –

Angela – You lie.

Brian – I thought it was an overall nice little book.

Angela – Man, it wasn’t that long ago when you told me that you loved my book.

Brian – I did. The memory is coming back to me now.

Angela – That’s better.

Brian – Okay, I admit to the fact that you are a much more industrious person than I am. You deserve to be treated to dinner as much as you like. In fact, I’ve treated you very shabbily. I promise to do better.

(Angela is standing in front of Brian. She puts her hands on his shoulders.)

Angela – I love a man who admits when he’s wrong. It warms my heart to hear he’s willing to make amends.

Brian – You’re welcome. [pause] Angela, what’s my surprise?

Angela – Okay, I’ve made you suffer enough. Close your eyes.

[Fade Out as Brian closes his eyes]

Angela – Open your eyes.

[Fade In as Brian opens his eyes]

(Angela is standing in front of Brian again. She is holding aloft a white dinner jacket on a hanger.)

Brian – Is that for me?

Angela – Yes.

Brian – Thanks. But why did you buy me a dinner jacket?

Angela – Because you will need to wear it where we are going.

Brian – Where are we going?

Angela – We’re going dancing.
Last edited by TomSpeed on Jul 29th 2003, 9:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.
TomSpeed

Patty: If Rayanne's not seeing you, and we're not seeing you, who is seeing you?
Graham: And how much of you?
Angela: Dad!
Graham: Oh, I'm sorry! I asked a question about your life, didn't I? Woah, what came over me?
http://www.last.fm/user/TomSpeed/

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Post by TomSpeed » Jul 6th 2003, 9:20 pm

Part Twenty-Two – At the Dance


Location: Dance hall, which is rapidly filling with members of the senior class and graduate students, their dates, and faculty. All of the men are wearing white coats and black bow ties. All of the women are wearing formal dresses. Angela, who is wearing a lavender dress and Brian are standing in a corner of the room.

Brian – I feel kind of out of place here.

Angela – Don’t be silly. This is a dance for the senior undergraduates, graduate students, and faculty. It’s held every year before the first home football game. You belong here. You’re with me.

Brian – I wish I had some warning. It’s unfair that you sprang this on me.

Angela – Well, would you have wanted to come if I hadn’t surprised you?

Brian – Probably not. I’m not much into formal dancing.

Angela – I’m not either. But there’s kind of an unwritten rule for the faculty that you have to go to the dance or the football game. Most people do both.

Brian – So, you go to the dance to get along?

Angela – That’s part of it. I’m still not much of a football fan. The dance is a little easier for me to handle. And there's another reason why I wanted to bring you.

Brian – Why?

Angela – I wanted to make up for abandoning you during the high school senior prom.

Brian – You remember the prom?

Angela – Yes, I remember. That wasn’t my finest moment. Anyway, we are here now.

Brian – Okay, let’s go.

(Brian takes Angela’s hand and leads her to the dance floor, which is filling rapidly with other dancers. [Music cue: Fleetwood Mac, “Crystal,” Fleetwood Mac.] Brian leads effortlessly.)

Angela VO* -- There’s something exhilarating about dancing with Brian. I surrender control and let him lead me. The years melt away. I remember him telling me how he had practiced for hours with his mother in anticipation of our dancing together.

Brian – You’re smiling. Happy thoughts?

Angela – Very happy.

(Brian and Angela pass before the DJ’s raised platform. Toby, from the swim team, is the DJ. He nods to Angela. Angela nods back.)

Angela – Do you remember the last song we danced to at the prom?

Brian – How could I forget? I played it a thousand times afterwards.

[Music cue: “Crystal” ends. Smashing Pumpkins, “Today,” Siamese Dream begins.]

(Brian takes the lead again. He guides Angela away, then he brings her back close in time to the music.)

Brian – How did you make that happen?

Angela – It pays to have connections.

[The camera Pulls Back. Angela and Brian are dancing with other dancers. The camera Zooms In as Brian pulls Angela close to him. They kiss. Fade Out.]


*****

I have objectives with this scene. First, I want to show how one can go about creating reality, a concept that was examined during the Angela's classroom discussion on "A Tree*A Rock*A Cloud." Second, I want to tie in events from my previous story. Third, I want to contrast Angela and Brian's relationship to Patty and Graham's relationship. Angela and Brian know how to dance. This is in a literal and figurative sense. Fourth, Brian's saying that he doesn't belong at the dance might be a good plot point. Why doesn't he belong? Does Angela's close association with the college pose a problem? I'm not really sure how I'll pursue that last point. Anyway, I like the shorthand way that they talk. I think it shows that they are becoming closer. Oh, I work more Mac into the story. And, of course, "Today" by Smashing Pumpkins appears.

Future events in this story will include the opening of Rayanne's play, the publication of a review of Graham's restaurant, and a special guest appearance by Jordan. Of course, none of these things have been written yet. I'm really going to try to wrap this thing up soon. Well, maybe not soon, but at least a little bit more quickly. I still wonder why I started this thing. But I also want to finish it.

EDIT

I'm just not sure about this scene. I realized last night that several hundred if not a couple thousand people would eligible to attend this dance. That's simply too many people. My original thought was to have the dance take place at Angela's sorority. But then I'd have a back story to develop about why she joined a sorority. I might revisit this idea. Or narrow down the guest list. Also I think I might have Angela and Brian kissing too much. I know the story takes place over several weeks. But I'm not sure if I'm overdoing it. Brian's coming across as fairly negative, too. I'll try to ponder some of this stuff out tonight.
Last edited by TomSpeed on Jul 29th 2003, 9:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.
TomSpeed

Patty: If Rayanne's not seeing you, and we're not seeing you, who is seeing you?
Graham: And how much of you?
Angela: Dad!
Graham: Oh, I'm sorry! I asked a question about your life, didn't I? Woah, what came over me?
http://www.last.fm/user/TomSpeed/

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Post by TomSpeed » Jul 7th 2003, 10:52 pm

Alternate versions of parts 21 and 22

Part Twenty-One – Going Dancing


Location: Angela’s apartment, early evening. Angela and Brian are entering the apartment. Angela deactivates the burglar alarm and flips the light switch.

Brian – So, you treating me to dinner wasn’t my surprise?

Angela – The faultiness of your memory is surprising, Mr. Krakow. I pay for dinner at least half of the time.

Brian – You pay half of the time?

Angela – Okay, I pay about a quarter of the time. But I am an underpaid and overworked assistant professor. You, on the other hand, are a highly paid reporter for a big city newspaper. And you work at your leisure. Anyway, you insist on paying.

Brian – I work at my leisure? That’s hardly the truth. I’m out there with my feet on the ground scouring for stories at the crack of dawn. I hear that you sleep until nine-thirty some mornings.

Angela – And who told you that I sleep a little late sometimes?

Brian – You did. You love to remind me of it.

Angela – I not only teach, I write, too.

Brian – I think that’s what I do for the newspaper.

Angela – Yes, but I write academic papers, short stories, and, don’t tell anyone this, but I’ve written a novel, too.

Brian – I’ve read your novel.

Angela – What did you think of it?

Brian – Well, other than the fact that it was a bit slow in places –

Angela – You lie.

Brian – I thought it was an overall nice little book.

Angela – Man, it wasn’t that long ago when you told me that you loved my book.

Brian – I did. The memory is coming back to me now.

Angela – That’s better.

Brian – Okay, I admit to the fact that you are a much more industrious person than I am. You deserve to be treated to dinner as much as you like. In fact, I’ve treated you very shabbily. I promise to do better.

(Angela is standing in front of Brian. She puts her hands on his shoulders.)

Angela – I love a man who admits when he’s wrong. It warms my heart to hear he’s willing to make amends.

Brian – You’re welcome. [pause] Angela, what’s my surprise?

Angela – Okay, I’ve made you suffer enough. Close your eyes.

[Fade Out as Brian closes his eyes]

Angela – Open your eyes.

[Fade In as Brian opens his eyes]

(Angela is standing in front of Brian again. She is holding aloft a white dinner jacket on a hanger.)

Brian – Is that for me?

Angela – Yes. Try it on.

(Brian takes the dinner jacket from Angela. He takes it off the hanger, sets the hanger on the floor, and puts the jacket on.)

Brian – Wow! It fits perfectly.

Angela – I got you some slacks and a tie to go with it.

Brian – You’ve been plotting.

Angela – I sneaked a peak at your closet and got your sizes.

Brian – I’m being set up for something.

Angela – Exactly! You’ll need to get dressed up for where we are going.

Brian – Where are we going?

Angela – We’re going dancing.


Part Twenty-Two – At the Dance


Location: Dance hall, which is rapidly filling with faculty, staff, and graduate students from the liberal arts college. All of the men are wearing white suit coats and black bow ties. All of the women are wearing formal dresses. Angela and Brian enter the room. Brian is wearing his dinner jacket and bow tie. Angela is wearing a black evening dress.

Brian – So, this dance is basically an excuse for people to get dressed up and show off?

Angela – Well, it officially has something to do with the first home football game. Most of the colleges have dances set up around town. But for me it’s a chance to get dressed up and show off.

Brian – You do it well.

Angela – Thanks. I could listen to things like that all night.

Brian – You know, I remember the last formal dance we attended. It seems to me that I was abandoned by a certain someone many years ago.

Angela – I promise that I won’t leave you stranded this time.

Brian – Good.

Angela – You haven’t forgotten how to dance?

Brian – Are you kidding? Come on, let’s go.

(Brian takes Angela’s hand and leads her to the dance floor, which is filling rapidly with other dancers. [Music cue: Fleetwood Mac, “Crystal,” Fleetwood Mac.] Brian leads effortlessly.)

Angela VO* -- There’s something exhilarating about dancing with Brian. I surrender control and let him lead me. The years melt away. I remember him telling me how he had practiced for hours with his mother in anticipation of our dancing together.

Brian – You’re smiling. Happy thoughts?

Angela – Very happy.

(Brian and Angela pass before the DJ’s raised platform. Toby, from the swim team, is the DJ. He nods to Angela. Angela nods back.)

Angela – Do you remember the last song we danced to at the prom?

Brian – How could I forget? I played it a thousand times afterwards.

[Music cue: “Crystal” ends. Smashing Pumpkins, “Today,” Siamese Dream begins.]

(Brian takes the lead again. He guides Angela away, then he brings her back close in time to the music.)

Brian – How did you make that happen?

Angela – It pays to have connections.

[The camera Pulls Back. Angela and Brian are dancing with other dancers. The camera Zooms In as Brian pulls Angela close to him. They kiss. Fade Out.]


*****

I think the minor revisions help the flow of the story a little bit. I have a hard time deciding what to tell and not tell sometimes. I might revise these parts again, but I'm ready to move on for now.
Last edited by TomSpeed on Jul 29th 2003, 9:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.
TomSpeed

Patty: If Rayanne's not seeing you, and we're not seeing you, who is seeing you?
Graham: And how much of you?
Angela: Dad!
Graham: Oh, I'm sorry! I asked a question about your life, didn't I? Woah, what came over me?
http://www.last.fm/user/TomSpeed/

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lithiumkat
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Post by lithiumkat » Jul 8th 2003, 4:47 pm

I'm impressed! I haven't been able to get on here and check up on all your stories I've been reading on for awhile, our computer is like majorly on the fritz and locks up like crazy. It has taken me several reboots and retry's to get the tale end of it read. drove me freaking crazy. but anyway, stay confident because, I can't speak for anyone else obviously but you sure have me hooked, and I know you say you may not have as much drive for the "future" fic or whatever, but personally I think it is really great. And it is something different than the episode 20 that there are so many of (not that I don't like those too though lol) but anyway I am definitely enjoying this. You must keep up and add as soon as you think of more! kudos!
"people always say how you should be yourself, like yourself is this definite thing...like a toaster or something, like you can know what it is even."

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Post by TomSpeed » Jul 8th 2003, 9:39 pm

Part Twenty-Three – The Circle

Location: Angela’s apartment, early morning. Angela is lying in bed. Music cue: “Circle Dream,” 10,000 Maniacs, Our Time in Eden. The dream sequences take place in several locations.

Angela VO* -- I’m waving to Brian as his car is pulling out of a parking space in front of my apartment. In the next moment, I’m five years old, my dad is waving to me. It’s my first day of school. I turn around and wave back at him. I feel alone. I want to cry. But I don’t. Then I’m in Jordan’s apartment. I’m eighteen years old. It’s very hot in Jordan’s apartment. His airconditioner is broken. There are pieces of it around the apartment. The windows are open, but there’s no breeze. Jordan and I are lying on his bed, facing each other. He is shirtless. His eyes are wide and knowing. He touches the buttons on my blouse. They come undone. I want them undone. Then I see Peter walking by my favorite study cubby at Penn State. I’m twenty years old. He’s passed by several times within the last half-hour. He winks at me this time. I wink back at him. Then Shelby is standing behind me, placing my hands properly on a driver. I’m twenty-six years old. The golf course is so green. His fingers run up my arms and shoulders to my back. His fingers make me shiver. Then Brian’s car is pulling into the same parking space. I’m waiting for him. I take his hand and lead him to my apartment door. It starts to rain.

[Angela’s alarm clock sounds.]

(Angela’s hand reaches out to her alarm clock, which sits on a nightstand by her bed. Her finger presses a button.)

[Angela’s alarm clock stops.]
TomSpeed

Patty: If Rayanne's not seeing you, and we're not seeing you, who is seeing you?
Graham: And how much of you?
Angela: Dad!
Graham: Oh, I'm sorry! I asked a question about your life, didn't I? Woah, what came over me?
http://www.last.fm/user/TomSpeed/

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Post by TomSpeed » Jul 8th 2003, 10:58 pm

Part Twenty-Four – The Problem with Liquor Bottles



Location: POTR Theater, early afternoon. Rayanne is onstage acting a scene.

(Rayanne is bending down in front of a liquor cabinet. She is gathering bottles from the cabinet into her arms. One bottle slips out of her arms. It hits the stage, but doesn’t break. Another bottle falls.

Rayanne – Damn it!

Mr. Katimsky (from his customary seat in the audience) – Cut! [long pause] Rayanne, you aren’t supposed to drop the bottles.

Rayanne – I know that, Dick.

(Cast members are backstage, watching Rayanne.)

Mr. Katimsky – Put the bottles back in the cabinet. Let’s try again.

Rayanne – Do you know how hard it is to gather up a bunch of liquor bottles and run offstage?

Mr. Katimsky – I know it’s hard, Miss Graf. Let’s try again. Places, please.

(Rayanne replaces the bottles. She goes to Mr. Katimsky’s right. She picks up a large pillow from the bed.)

Mr. Katimsky – Action!

(Rayanne hold the pillow closely for a few moments. She throws the pillow on the bed. She rushes to the liquor cabinet. She gathers the bottles. They start to fall again.)

Rayanne – Damn it!

Mr. Katimsky – Cut!

Rayanne – Don’t say anything, Dick.

Mr. Katimsky – Let’s break for a few minutes.

(John approaches Rayanne from backstage.)

John – Rayanne –

Rayanne – Get the hell away from me!

(John takes a step away from Rayanne. Both he and Mr. Katimsky look at her.)

Mr. Katimsky (to John) – Where is Rickie?

John – He’s at Church, hearing confessions.

Mr. Katimsky – Okay. [long pause] We’ll skip picking up the bottles and move right to Maggie talking to Brick about the power of demon rum and her strength. Yes?

John – That’s fine with me.

Mr. Katimsky – Rayanne?

Rayanne – Fine. Can someone get me a cola?

John – Sure.

(John goes backstage. Rayanne flops on the bed.)

Rayanne – This has been a damn frustrating day.
Last edited by TomSpeed on Jul 29th 2003, 9:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
TomSpeed

Patty: If Rayanne's not seeing you, and we're not seeing you, who is seeing you?
Graham: And how much of you?
Angela: Dad!
Graham: Oh, I'm sorry! I asked a question about your life, didn't I? Woah, what came over me?
http://www.last.fm/user/TomSpeed/

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Post by TomSpeed » Jul 9th 2003, 10:58 pm

Part Twenty-Five – A Few Minutes in a Parking Lot


Location: A liquor store parking lot, later in the afternoon. Rayanne is sitting in her elderly station wagon.

(Rayanne sits in her station wagon. She looks at the front of the liquor store. The windows are covered with pictures of happy people drinking without worry. People come and go from the store. She unfastens her seat belt. She closes her eyes.)

Rayanne VO* -- What am I doing here? This doesn’t make any sense at all.

(She opens her eyes and reaches for her seat belt to refasten it. She stops.)

Rayanne VO* -- But I could get just one tiny bottle, one tiny brown bottle. I can have just one bottle. It’s not like it’s going to kill me.

(She reaches for the door handle. She sighs and stops. She closes her eyes again.)

Rayanne VO* -- That’s how it would start. One bottle gets me started. Two bottles would be nice, too. Then I’d probably want another one or maybe several more.

(As she is sitting in the car with her eyes closed, Jordan exits the store. He is carrying an assortment of bottles in a cardboard box. He notices Rayanne’s car. He sees Rayanne sitting inside the car. He approaches Rayanne’s window.)

Jordan – Hey, Rayanne, what’s going on?

(Rayanne is startled. She turns and looks at Jordan, who is smiling pleasantly.)

Jordan – You falling asleep in there, or what?

(Rayanne flashes her bank teller smile.)

Rayanne – Hey, Jordan, how are you doing?

Jordan – I’m good. How about you? You look kind of tired.

Rayanne – I’m fine. Maybe I’m a little tired what with work, my son, and working on a play and all.

Jordan – I hear you. I’m a little tired myself. Business at the garage has never been better. Plus, I’m getting a new band together.

Rayanne – That’s good to hear.

Jordan – Yea, I’m keeping busy. (Jordan hefts the box of booze.) Just had to stop to get some drinks for the rest of the weekend. [pause] Are you going inside?

Rayanne – I was going to pick up some [pause] cooking sherry. You know? For Amber. She’s having company over this weekend. She wants to cook something nice.

(Jordan looks puzzled.)

Jordan – Your mom asked you to stop and get [pause] cooking sherry?

Rayanne – Well, I was going to surprise her. But I realized that she probably already has some sherry at home. I thought I should call her before I picked some up.

Jordan – Sure, that makes sense. It doesn’t make any sense to spend money you don’t have to spend.

Rayanne – Exactly! That’s what I was thinking all right.

(Rayanne fastens her seat belt. She starts the car.)

Rayanne – Well, I guess I better get over to Amber’s and pick up Nathan.

Jordan – Okay, see you later.

Rayanne – You bet.

(Rayanne backs her station wagon out of the parking spot. Jordan watches it pull out into the street.)
Last edited by TomSpeed on Aug 29th 2004, 10:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.
TomSpeed

Patty: If Rayanne's not seeing you, and we're not seeing you, who is seeing you?
Graham: And how much of you?
Angela: Dad!
Graham: Oh, I'm sorry! I asked a question about your life, didn't I? Woah, what came over me?
http://www.last.fm/user/TomSpeed/

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