The Most Awesome Thing I Saw on TV This Week - by Kim

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Natasha (candygirl)
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The Most Awesome Thing I Saw on TV This Week - by Kim

Post by Natasha (candygirl) » Apr 4th 2003, 1:47 am

I loved Kim's weekly installments at TWoP, and since Megs liked the one I posted in the Afterlife forum I thought I would compile a list of all Kim's MATISOTTW entries for M's convenience - although I'm not sad that the Real World Las Vegas season is over, I will definitely miss this part of Kim's recaps!

Albert's on smack
In an effort to reward the people who have read this far, I've decided to include a sidebar I like to call, "The Most Awesome Thing I Saw on TV Last Week". I'm automatically excluding anything already recapped for this site. Anyway, the most awesome thing I saw on TV last week was the episode of Little House where Albert gets addicted to morphine. So Pa brings Albert back to Walnut Grove, not knowing that Albert was on the smack, and then Albert sneaks into Doc Baker's office and steals morphine and replaces it with powdered sugar and then some old dude is, like, dying and Doc gives him powdered sugar and when the dude is all, "It still hurts!" Doc totally figures it out because he's super-smart (even though he kind of looks like Frankenstein's monster) and then he tells Pa and they search Albert's stuff and find the smack.

So then Albert promises to quit but he goes to school and starts tweaking out and he punches some kid and then backhands the teacher and runs out! And that's not even the awesome part. So then Pa decides that he and Albert need to go to a cabin in the middle of the woods so that Albert can detox and at one point Albert wakes up and says he can't breathe so Pa takes him outside and Albert knocks Pa down! And starts running through the woods and the music is all like an organ grinder like "Ooh, look at Albert running through the woods! Isn't that hilarious? Whee!"

So he trips on a root or something and Pa catches him and takes him back to the cabin. And then Albert wakes up again later on and his legs are twitching uncontrollably and he begs Pa to make it stop so Pa is, like, holding him down and then Albert goes, "Bleeeaargh!" and pukes up this white stuff everywhere! And Pa's like, "Let it out, son!" And then Albert pukes up the white stuff like four more times. And there is a ton of it everywhere. And that was the most awesome thing I saw on TV last week. Oh, so then Albert goes back to school and gives a "Just Say No" speech to the kids, like was there really danger of a drug problem in Walnut Grove? I don't think so.
9021-oh
And now it's time for our next installment of The Most Awesome Thing I Saw on TV Last Week. The most awesome thing I saw on TV last week was a made-for-television movie called She Fought Alone. It starred Tiffani-Amber Theissen (Val from 90210) and Brian Austin Green (David Silver from 90210). Val played this unpopular girl in small-town Nebraska or Montana or Ohio or something who suddenly gets boobs, I guess, so the popular crowd wants to include her all of a sudden. David Silver is the quarterback of the football team, so he mostly drives around in cars that he restored himself and wears tank tops and s**t.

So the initiation ceremony to be in the popular crowd is to go to this fake prom that they hold in an abandoned barn, where they all dress up in old dresses, and then they make Val the prom queen and then they totally pour blood on her like Carrie and Val puts her finger in the blood and licks it and goes, "Mmm, raspberry" like what the hell? So now she's cool and she totally wants to do it with David Silver. But David Silver's friend Horndog likes Val and he totally comes over to her house and rapes her when no one is home. So Val wants to rat him out, but no one believes her because she's nobody and the guy is a football player. And the popular crowd is all sexually harassing her and setting things up so that she thinks they are going to forgive her, but really they are just going to wave flashlights in her face and grope her and cut all her hair off. I know. Awesome.

So then she gets a lawyer and s**t and eventually Horndog admits to David Silver that he totally did rape her but whatever. So then David Silver decides that he really loves Val! And he tells her! And she runs away with him! After he sexually harassed her and cut all her hair off! So that was awesome. Then there was a showdown in the weirdly deserted town square where David Silver tries to defend Val's honor and he ends up stabbing Horndog in the leg with Horndog's own knife. Then David Silver and Val decide to run away together but David Silver's mom is, like, an invalid so he can't really leave.

So then Val goes to college and she comes home to visit David Silver who is living a pathetic existence working on cars and caring for his invalid mother and still wearing tank tops and then the movie just kind of ends. But it was the most awesome thing I saw last week. I have high hopes for next week because I recorded movies with the following descriptions: "A teenager may be the reincarnation of a long-dead witch," "An Idaho woman is attacked by an acquaintance in Hollywood," and "Two women break out of rehab for a motorcycle road trip." So I know at least one of those will be awesome.
possum girl
Once again, this week's selection was courtesy of the greatest channel ever, Lifetime Movie Network. The most awesome thing I saw on TV last week was a movie called Wildflower starring a young Reese Witherspoon as a Southern tomboy who lives with her older brother and drunken father (played by a slovenly Beau Bridges). Reese's mom is dead and one day Reese is out looking for a flower to put on her dead mom's grave, which is conveniently located in their front yard, which is creepy as hell. She comes across a dilapidated shed, and inside is a slightly feral girl who keeps a possum as a pet. Awesome. This feral girl, Alice, is played by Patricia Arquette, who totally out-Nells Jodie Foster.

Anyway, Reese befriends Alice, and brings her older brother around too. Together, they teach Alice how to talk and s**t, and it turns out that Alice is deaf and epileptic, so her stepfather thinks she is possessed by the devil and keeps her locked in the shed. And of course the brother falls in love with Alice but their love is forbidden except one night when he comes upon her bathing in the river and they totally almost do it but then don't. And the stepfather nearly catches Reese and her brother locking Alice back into her shed one night and they all run away and then Alice has an epileptic seizure in a cornfield and the doctor comes and isn't at all concerned that Alice lives in a shed but tells Reese about hearing aids, which are expensive.

So Reese hocks her dead mother's locket to get Alice a hearing aid. Then the brother is supposed to go to college but Drunken Beau doesn't think his son needs any more book learning, but then he relents and Alice is all sad. So the stepfather nearly kills Alice and her mother one night and then falls off the porch and injures himself and can't walk and Alice's mom says that Alice can go live with Drunken Beau and Reese, which gives Drunken Beau a Reason to Live so he cleans up. The awesome part was when Drunken Beau and Reese came to take Alice away and the stepfather totally shot Alice's pet possum with a shotgun from his bedroom window. And then Reese's grandma teaches Alice to read and write but the older brother is all citified so he ignores Alice's letters and when he comes home, he blows her off.

Meanwhile, Alice's mom is totally still living with the abusive murderous stepfather but no one really cares about her. And then there's a big town dance so Reese writes letters to her brother about how Alice has a new dress and her bosoms show and all the boys are courting her so the brother gets all jealous and hitches a ride home. But before he arrives at the dance, Alice's mother is there watching from the outside because no one cares about her and then the stepfather has miraculously recovered and shows up to take Alice and her mom back home, and then No-Longer-Drunken Beau yells, "We's her family now!" Which was awesome. And then the brother shows up and dances with Alice and they make out. The end.
here we are, face to face
The most awesome thing I saw on television last week was a television movie (of course) on the Lifetime Move Network (of course) starring Angela from Who's The Boss as Ricky "The Ricker" Schroeder's mother and it was called Too Close to Home. So Angela is all obsessed with her son, The Ricker is a twenty-nine-year-old lawyer who still lives at home. And just to give you a sense of how messed up things are, the movie starts with Angela bringing The Ricker a birthday cake in bed, and then totally watching as he goes into the bathroom (leaving the door open) and gets in the shower. Gross! S

o The Ricker drops the bomb that he's going to move out on his own and Angela goes to the apartment he wants and seduces the landlord to keep The Ricker from getting the apartment. So then The Ricker says he's going to move in with a friend and Angela tries to kill herself by downing some pills and vodka. And then while she's in the hospital, The Ricker meets up with her nurse, Abby, and starts dating her. So Angela is obviously not happy about this and digs up some fake arrest reports that say how Abby committed fraud and tricked some dude into marrying her. The Ricker tells Abby and then proposes (huh? I know!) and then Abby admits that she's pregnant. Wuh?

So they run off and get married and then The Ricker calls Angela who pretends she's all happy but secretly pays off a homeless man to pose as The Ricker so they can go to the courthouse and get the marriage annulled. I don't know what the point of the annulment was, because when Angela finds out that Abby is preggo, she manufactures a ruse to get The Ricker out of the house and then hires two men to kidnap Abby but they accidentally kill Abby instead. Oops!

So then there must be a law that all Lifetime movies need a courtroom scene in the second hour, and Angela is arrested for the crime, and The Ricker is going to be her lawyer. And then on cross-examination, all of Angela's misdeeds come out, plus some other stuff about how The Ricker had an older sister who died at the age of three months, and Angela's been married seven times, and arrested numerous times and blah blah blah and The Ricker knew none of this.

So then his mother is on Death Row and he goes to visit her and he keeps pressing her to admit something and I thought it was going to be a big surprise like that she slept with her own father and that's how The Ricker came to be or something, but really she just admits that she had Abby killed, like duh! We already knew that. And then Angela goes to the gas chamber. Awesome.
crazy laura as a sorority girl
The most awesome thing I saw on TV last week was a television movie on Lifetime Movie Network called Dying to Belong. The movie opens with a scene of some girls kidnapping this other girl and then taking her out in the woods and throwing her out of the car and then she maybe gets hit by a truck and then there is a shot of a white rose with blood dripping on it so right away you know it's going to be awesome. So then Hilary Swank goes to college and has a roommate with blue hair, who was actually the coolest person in the movie. But then Hilary meets Six from Blossom in line to register so they decide to be roommates, and they just kick Blue Hair out, which was kind of shitty but maybe I'm just sensitive because the same thing happened to me my freshman year.

So then Hilary and Six decide to rush a sorority and Hilary is a legacy so all of the girls in the sorority (including Second Becky from Roseanne and Tracy Middendorf, who I know as Carrie Brady from Days) love Hilary and ignore Six, and Hilary just walks off with them and leaves Six to stand there awkwardly and think about how she's gained, like, twenty pounds since Blossom ended and is forced to wear overalls in every scene. So then Hilary meets Zach from Saved by the Bell while working on the college paper, like could this movie have a more awesome cast? And you know they love each other because in every scene they have, the soundtrack is this cheesy remake of "Damn! I Wish I Was Your Lover," like, they couldn't even spring for Sophie B. Hawkins so you know it was low-budget.

So then Hilary and Six get into the sorority and then there is hazing, which is such bullshit because who would brush the bathroom floor with their toothbrush just to hang out with Second Becky? And then Hilary gets pissed and walks out and the other girls encourage Six to hang this banner from the clock tower and Six totally takes a header and dies! And the girls pretend they had nothing to do with it, so of course Hilary and Zach try to uncover the truth but no one believes it and in the end they find the girl from the opening scene who was paid off by the school not to reveal that she nearly died in a hazing incident the year before and then Hilary tricks the sorority girls into confessing and the sorority is shut down. And there was a lot more to it but this segment is threatening to get longer than the rest of the recap. Rest assured that if you see this movie in the listings, it's worth watching because it is awesome.
didn't beth hart write a song about this?
The most awesome thing I saw on TV last week was a movie called Shattered Innocence, and just from the title, you can tell that it's going to be awesome. And it's based on a true story, which is another sign of awesomeness. So this girl lives in Kansas and she's the prettiest girl in her town, but it's Kansas, so that doesn't mean much. And she has, like, eight sisters and lives in a farmhouse with her parents and is really bored. So she decides to move to California with her boyfriend, Super Mullet. And she doesn't want to get a minimum-wage job, so she answers an ad in the paper to become a model. Well, everyone but this girl obviously knows what's going to happen next.

It's semi-nude modeling, and then nude modeling, and then Super Mullet dumps her when he finds out about the nudity. And then the big photographer tells her she's too fat, so she starts doing cocaine, and she loses a whopping six pounds, like that would make that big a difference, although maybe it would since she was, like, a hundred pounds to start out with. And then she gets into Playboy and s**t, but then the jobs dry up because she's overexposed. And then she goes home to Kansas for Christmas and buys everyone really expensive presents and shows off her nude modeling pictures to her preteen sisters and her mom gets all mad and her teenaged sister says that the whole family is ashamed of her. So then this cheesy manager convinces her to do hardcore porn to be shown in those little booths in porno shops, of course, and she needs the money to pay for drugs, of course, so she does it.

And then -- in what seemed to me to be a backward move on the downward spiral -- she moves into regular porn and she wins a porn award and does a lot more coke. So then she gets recognized and realizes that people actually watch porn and might know she's a porn star, so she refuses to do another movie. So she hooks up with this coke dealer, who is actually a pretty nice guy and lets her move to his house in Palm Springs and work in his store, but she keeps doing coke and gets nosebleeds and s**t and he tries to cut her off. But then he gets arrested and thrown in jail and she totally bails on him instead of staying in his house and paying his bills and running the store like he asked.

So she has to do another porn movie to get some money and she goes back to the house in Palm Springs one last time to pack up her stuff and she finds a gun in the closet. But it's not even like a shotgun or a pistol. It's like an automatic weapon. And somehow she uses it to shoot herself, but she didn't even die instantly, and her parents had to come out from Kansas and take her off life support. So the moral of the story is, don't move away from Kansas. I guess.
peach pit preval
The most awesome thing I saw on TV last week has already been written about by Sars, except where she thinks it was bad and yet she couldn't stop watching, I think it was awesome. Yes, I'm talking about the early seasons of 90210. I recently saw what is, to me, the single most awesome scene of the entire series: the one where Dylan and Kelly told Brenda that not only were they together, but they had hooked up over the summer while Brenda was in Paris.

And then Brenda's response was to just walk away. Which then led to the ridiculous (and yet awesome) episode where Brenda had a daydream in which she tried to kill Dylan and Kelly with an ax, and one where she cut all of Kelly's hair off. Which then led to Dylan's dad being "killed" by a car bomb, which then led to Dylan finding out that his dad was really a government informant, which then led to Dylan living with the Walshes for a while, which then led to Kelly deciding she needed to start taking diet pills.

All of which led to me wondering what the hell kind of drugs the writers were doing. And I'm not even getting into David's shitty recording contract or Brandon's laughable gambling addiction or Donna's complete lack of storyline or the fact that Andrea is clearly about fifteen years older than anyone else on the show including Dylan "Receding Hairline" McKay and Steve "Could My Pants Be Any Tighter?" Sanders and Brenda "Check Out My Crow's Feet" Walsh. All of which is to say, every Saturday and Sunday you will find me on the couch watching a few hours of 90210 reruns, at least until Brenda leaves the show, because then it all goes downhill.
twue wove
Merging recent themes, the most awesome thing I saw on TV last week was a movie called Jailbreakers starring Shannen Doherty (a.k.a. Brenda Walsh) and Antonio Sabato, Jr. (a.k.a. Jagger from General Hospital). Supposedly, this movie was set in the '50s, but I didn't figure that out until about halfway through because the theme was so half-assed, and Brenda's hair was totally '70s, and her outfits were all very contemporary. I like to think that Brenda refused to wear stupid poodle skirts and threw a hissy and got her way. Anyway, so Brenda is a good girl who falls for Jagger, the bad boy. And her parents don't approve, of course. And the part that made me laugh the hardest was when they were making out and Jagger tried to slide into third base and Brenda said she thought he promised to wait until she was sixteen.

Meanwhile, in real life she was, like, thirty. So then they go out and Jagger steals a car, and robs a diner, and steals jewelry for Brenda, which she thinks is totally cool. Until they get pulled over by the cops and Jagger goes to jail. So the whole small town knows that Brenda is tainted so her parents have to move to a new town, like, whose parents would do that? So Brenda gets all new friends and a new boring boyfriend but then she can't take it anymore and she writes Jagger a letter in jail and he busts out of jail and comes to her house and she runs away with him. And meanwhile there's this whole subplot where Jagger and his best friend (played by, weirdly enough, Oscar nominee Adrien Brody) are trying to sell a stolen horse and split the money.

So Jagger totally dicks Adrien Brody over and takes all of the money and he and Brenda head to Mexico. And Brenda still thinks it's all cool until they get pulled over by a cop and Jagger kills him with a knife. Like, it was all fine when it was larceny and s**t, but murder is too far. So then she makes a few pathetic attempts to get away from him, but finally they end up at the border and they're surrounded by cops and snipers and even Brenda's dad is there with a shotgun, but Jagger is using Brenda as a human shield, but then Adrien Brody roars up on his motorcycle and saves Brenda and Jagger gets shot a million times.

And then the absolute most awesome part was that, as Adrien Brody is arrested by the cops and Brenda is reunited with her parents, Brenda steals away and tells Adrien Brody that she'll wait for him until he gets out of jail. Because even though her last jailbird boyfriend turned into a murderer and kidnapper, and was shot down in front of her face, she just wants another bad boy. And meanwhile, Jagger's dead body was lying practically at Brenda's feet. Awesome.
cher + jordan
The most awesome thing I saw on TV last week was a television movie called The Cool and the Crazy, starring Alicia Silverstone and Jared "Jordan Catalano" Leto. It was set in the '50s, and I don't know what it is with TV movies being set in the '50s, but there you go. Alicia and Jordan play a high-school couple who get married right after graduation in a double ceremony with their best friends, and then they all get apartments near each other and get pregnant at the same time. So Alicia and her friend (played by Jennifer Blanc who was Kate, Bailey's girlfriend, on Party of Five) get bored with hanging out with their babies all the time, and Kate starts having an affair with a total greaser and hooks Alicia up with her boyfriend's friend, who is not just a greaser but also crazy like a shithouse rat.

So they all sneak out all the time and have sex with their boyfriends and stuff and Alicia spends most of the time whining because she's just not a very good actress. And also I think the script was not quite finished when they started filming, so every scene begins and ends with improvised business and Alicia and Kate couldn't quite pull it off so every scene starts with them giggling and shoving each other and skipping and s**t and then they deliver their lines and then they giggle some more. So Alicia's crazy greaser boyfriend starts making more and more demands on her and I'm not quite sure what she was doing with her baby while she was off getting naked on the beach with crazy greaser boyfriend but whatever. Jordan busts her with her boyfriend and leaves home.

So then there's this whole subplot where Jordan hooks up with Mark Greene's ex-wife Jen, who is a beatnik. And Jordan starts hanging out at her apartment and then Jack Kerouac and Neal Cassady come by (no, I'm not kidding) and do drugs and wave guns around. So Jordan gets scared because he's bourgeois at heart. And Alicia gets scared because of her crazy greaser boyfriend (oh, and did I mention that he's also married?) and breaks up with him and gets back together with Jordan.

So one night, crazy greaser boyfriend kidnaps Alicia, and Jordan chases them down but the crazy greaser friends won't give her back, so Jordan goes to Jen Greene's place and gets Jack Kerouac's gun and then there's another car chase and then Jordan gets Alicia back. And then some drug dealers come and beat up crazy greaser boyfriend because he scammed them out of some money or something. And then Alicia and Jordan realize that they got married too young and decide to split up amicably. The end.
Ma's Leg
And now it's time for the final installment of the Most Awesome Thing I Saw On TV This Week. I thought I would bring it full circle, since the most awesome thing I saw on TV this week was another episode of Little House on the Prairie, just like the first one I did. In this episode, Ma scratches her leg on a piece of wire while she's getting out of the wagon, and then Reverend Alden stops by and asks Ma to bake some pies to help raise money for a church, but the Ingalls family was supposed to go on a little overnight trip. So then Charles totally volunteers Ma to stay home and bake the pies while he takes the girls on the trip, like, maybe Ma doesn't want to bake some damn pies, Pa!

So the plan is that Ma will bake pies on Saturday and then Reverend Alden will drop her off at the meadow for a family picnic on Sunday. So the whole family leaves and Ma gets to baking but the scratch on her leg is bothering her so she slaps some bread and milk on it, like, I don't know what in the hell that was supposed to do, but this was the olden days when they didn't have hydrogen peroxide at Oleson's Mercantile. And Ma is getting all sweaty and stuff, but she manages to get, like, twenty pies baked, and sets them on some shelves outside the door to cool.

So Doc Baker stops by and Ma tells him about her leg and he's about to step inside and have some pie and check out the cut when a neighbor rolls up and says his son fell out of the loft, so Doc Baker takes off. And Ma, of course, volunteers to help out, but they're like, "Just bake your pies," so she does. So that night, Ma's leg is getting worse and she takes down her hair, which was kind of when you knew something was wrong, because Ma's hair was always up except for a couple of times when she was eating popcorn in bed and reading her Bible.

And then there's a huge thunderstorm, so Doc Baker has to stay over at the neighbor's and never gets back to check on Ma's leg. And then the Ingalls's cow gets out of the barn and maybe if they ever fed that cow it would stay in the barn but I think it was out foraging for hay or something in the wild because I could see the cow's ribcage, it was so skinny. So Ma heads out into the storm, but the cow won't budge, and then Ma faints and lands right in a mud puddle! So she wakes up and crawls back inside. And then she's trying to make a fire to warm up and she lights some newspaper and notices a story in the paper about a family's house being robbed so she goes over and locks the door and then I think Brian DePalma directed this segment because there's lightning flashes and close-ups on Ma's eyes and all I know is when I saw it when I was, like, eight years old it was pretty f***ing scary. So Ma tries to settle her nerves by reading the Bible, but she passes out on the floor.

The next morning, Reverend Alden and Mrs. Foster come by to pick Ma up, but since Ma locked the door to prevent robbery, they can't get in, and Ma is still passed out on the floor, so they assume she isn't home and take the pies and leave. And Ma wakes up and throws a rolling pin at the window and breaks it, but it's too late and they are gone, so she manages to unlock the door before passing out again. Meanwhile, the cow has wandered over to the neighbor's house (the one with the injured son), and the son offers to take the cow home, but the neighbor is all, "Let Ingalls come and get his cow if he wants it so bad!" And after Ma was so nice to him! Bastard.

So then the infection in Ma's leg is really, really bad and gross and, like, blackened and stuff, so Ma starts reading the Bible for comfort or something and she reads this part about "If thine hand offend thee, cut if off" and then she goes and gets a butcher knife out of the drawer and starts boiling water and reading the Bible and then she puts the knife in the fire to sterilize it or something and then puts a tourniquet on her leg and then passes out again and I'm just thinking that the knife would in no way be able to hack through her bone, but whatever. So then Reverend Alden and Mrs. Foster find Pa and the girls at the meadow and Pa is shocked that Ma isn't with them and he gets all worried so he leaves the girls with Reverend Alden and takes off like a bat out of hell in the buckboard. And his route just happens to take him by Bastard Neighbor's house, and Bastard Neighbor is all complaining about the cow and Pa realizes that if Ma let the cow wander about the countryside, she must be in deep s**t, so he goes like an even faster bat out of hell and gets home and Ma is passed out on the floor, so I guess she never got the chance to hack her own leg off, thank God.

So then everyone comes home and prays real hard and Pa cries with Laura because Ma might die, but then they pray some more and then the fever lifts and everyone is happy. All I know is that after I saw this episode, I poured like two bottles of peroxide over every cut and scratch I got because I did not want to be in a position where I had to hack off my own leg. But that episode was awesome.
Last edited by Natasha (candygirl) on Aug 5th 2003, 2:40 am, edited 2 times in total.
Natasha aka candygirl :: MSCL.com

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Post by fnordboy » Apr 4th 2003, 12:32 pm

Thank you for this :)

I don't think I have read a funnier line than:

"So then Hilary and Six get into the sorority and then there is hazing, which is such bullshit because who would brush the bathroom floor with their toothbrush just to hang out with Second Becky? "

from the crazy laura as a sorority girl one.

Though "Oh, so then Albert goes back to school and gives a "Just Say No" speech to the kids, like was there really danger of a drug problem in Walnut Grove? I don't think so. " comes in a damn close second.

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Post by Natasha (candygirl) » Apr 4th 2003, 3:02 pm

Well when my boyfriend hears me laughing hysterically in front of the computer, he knows that I'm probably reading something Kim wrote!

With few exceptions, TMATISOTTW selections tend to center around 90210 alumni. Now does that mean Kim loves 90210? Or that 90210 had the best cast ever? Or that they have all gone on to do cheesy Lifetime movies now that the show is over? Even though she doesn't explicitly state the obvious, I love that Hilary Swank is an Oscar winning 90210 alumna - just adds THAT much more to the mix!

:D
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Post by Megs » Apr 5th 2003, 12:24 pm

I love the 9021-oh one!

"And the popular crowd is all sexually harassing her and setting things up so that she thinks they are going to forgive her, but really they are just going to wave flashlights in her face and grope her and cut all her hair off. I know. Awesome. "

"David Silver is the quarterback of the football team, so he mostly drives around in cars that he restored himself and wears tank tops and s**t."

"I have high hopes for next week because I recorded movies with the following descriptions: "A teenager may be the reincarnation of a long-dead witch," "An Idaho woman is attacked by an acquaintance in Hollywood," and "Two women break out of rehab for a motorcycle road trip." So I know at least one of those will be awesome. "

Hee.
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Post by Megs » Apr 5th 2003, 12:37 pm

"didn't Beth Hart write a song about this?" cracked me up, too.

"And then -- in what seemed to me to be a backward move on the downward spiral -- she moves into regular porn and she wins a porn award and does a lot more coke. So then she gets recognized and realizes that people actually watch porn and might know she's a porn star, so she refuses to do another movie."

"So the moral of the story is, don't move away from Kansas. I guess. "

Thanks for this thread, candygirl! I'm loving it all.
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Post by Megs » Apr 5th 2003, 12:43 pm

Sorry, I can't help it.

twue wove:

"And then the absolute most awesome part was that, as Adrien Brody is arrested by the cops and Brenda is reunited with her parents, Brenda steals away and tells Adrien Brody that she'll wait for him until he gets out of jail. Because even though her last jailbird boyfriend turned into a murderer and kidnapper, and was shot down in front of her face, she just wants another bad boy. And meanwhile, Jagger's dead body was lying practically at Brenda's feet. Awesome. "

:lol:
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Post by Megs » Apr 5th 2003, 12:47 pm

Kim's awesome.

From ma's leg:

"All I know is that after I saw this episode, I poured like two bottles of peroxide over every cut and scratch I got because I did not want to be in a position where I had to hack off my own leg. But that episode was awesome. "
"I have all these dreams where I know exactly what to say. And you tell me, you know, that you forgive me."

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Post by Natasha (candygirl) » Apr 5th 2003, 10:10 pm

When I was compiling the list, I was sitting here cracking up from reading them again! My only moments of quiet contemplation occurred when I was trying to think of titles worthy of her summaries. Despite the fact that I have now read all of those summaries multiple times, I found myself laughing again when I read the quotes you two picked out.

Kim rules!
Natasha aka candygirl :: MSCL.com

Look, if this is weird for you, being tutored? I don't mind helping you a little longer.
You could have sex with me if you really want to help...I guess that's a "no"?

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fnordboy
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Post by fnordboy » Apr 6th 2003, 5:35 am

Hey Megs, good work on upping that post count :go:

I really enjoyed those links and reading those quotes that Megs put just made me crack up even more. So does this mean she wont be doing those anymore since RW is over for the season? She should get a regualr article going of that.

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Megs
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Post by Megs » Apr 6th 2003, 2:10 pm

fnordboy wrote:Hey Megs, good work on upping that post count :go:
Thanks. Here's another blatant post to up my count.

:go:
"I have all these dreams where I know exactly what to say. And you tell me, you know, that you forgive me."

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Post by fnordboy » Apr 6th 2003, 3:26 pm

Megs wrote: Thanks. Here's another blatant post to up my count.

:go:
LOL :thumpup:

guess i just did too :)

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GaryEA
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Post by GaryEA » Apr 6th 2003, 4:03 pm

Hmmm... if I do that, I may be able to...
Last edited by GaryEA on Apr 6th 2003, 4:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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GaryEA
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Post by GaryEA » Apr 6th 2003, 4:04 pm

...pass lance!

:D

Gary

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Post by fnordboy » Apr 6th 2003, 6:38 pm

GaryEA wrote:...pass lance!

:D

Gary
LMAO. Now that was the Most Awesome Thing I Saw On The Internet This Weekend.

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Post by GaryEA » Apr 6th 2003, 10:05 pm

You must be having a slow weekend...

:D

Gary

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