First Scene...what do you think??

Discussion and questions about the FanFiction section of MSCL.com. You can also post excerpts of your unfinished stories here if you're looking for feedback or ideas.
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MSCLfan00
Nicky Driscoll
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First Scene...what do you think??

Post by MSCLfan00 » Nov 27th 2004, 4:01 pm

I want to know what you guys think of my intro............tell me what you think!! Thanks!!!

Angela is sitting on her bed, the camera spans and we see that the clock says it is 6:00 AM. She looks tired and confused. The letter is open on her lap.

ANGELA (VO): I left Brian in the middle of street…alone…to go with Jordan Catalono…and we didn’t even talk…about anything!

GRAHAM: (knocks on the door as he’s opening it and sticks his head in) Angela, I heard you were up. I have to leave to meet with Hallie early this morning so have a good day.

ANGELA: (pained look) How did it go last night?

GRAHAM: Good, I can't really talk about it right now. I’ll talk to you later, honey.

ANGELA (VO): It seems like we hear that a lot lately.

ANGELA: Bye, dad.

It’s later in the morning and Angela is downstairs having a glass of
orange juice. Patty is at the sink washing dishes.

PATTY: You’re going to be late for the bus…is Jordan not picking you up?

ANGELA: (annoyed) No, mom, he isn’t.

PATTY: May I ask why?

ANGELA: Please do, I’d like to know too.
"You have the option of insanity. I do not! And that makes me CRAZY!"

GO KRAKOW! :)

--msclfan00--

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Lizka
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Post by Lizka » Feb 5th 2005, 4:40 pm

Not bad, though I don't think that Angela would invite her mother's questions.

Please continue.

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liberty
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Post by liberty » Feb 5th 2005, 9:10 pm

If I am correct about this, I think Angela was being sarcastic. Actually I can imagine the way she would even say it. Pretty good start to your story MSCLfanoo

BeverlyHills_RockStar16
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Re: First Scene...what do you think??

Post by BeverlyHills_RockStar16 » Aug 5th 2005, 3:13 pm

MSCLfan00 wrote:I want to know what you guys think of my intro............tell me what you think!! Thanks!!!

Angela is sitting on her bed, the camera spans and we see that the clock says it is 6:00 AM. She looks tired and confused. The letter is open on her lap.

ANGELA (VO): I left Brian in the middle of street…alone…to go with Jordan Catalono…and we didn’t even talk…about anything!

GRAHAM: (knocks on the door as he’s opening it and sticks his head in) Angela, I heard you were up. I have to leave to meet with Hallie early this morning so have a good day.

ANGELA: (pained look) How did it go last night?

GRAHAM: Good, I can't really talk about it right now. I’ll talk to you later, honey.

ANGELA (VO): It seems like we hear that a lot lately.

ANGELA: Bye, dad.

It’s later in the morning and Angela is downstairs having a glass of
orange juice. Patty is at the sink washing dishes.

PATTY: You’re going to be late for the bus…is Jordan not picking you up?

ANGELA: (annoyed) No, mom, he isn’t.

PATTY: May I ask why?

ANGELA: Please do, I’d like to know too.
thats it thats like all u have for the whole sceen??? well i think if u like write the rest of the story hook angela and brian up , cuz brian is like so amazing i love the picture u like have of him, well like l8ter!!! 8)
rockiced_dimonds_BeverlyHills style
shopping is amazing

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