Help developing certain character storylines

[Jody Barsch*]

Hey Jodi Barsch, I have read some of your stories. I love the ones that are already here. If you have any other stories I would love to read them!

Thanks! I'm glad t hear you're enjoying them. Everything that I have a clean draft of is already posted. All the rest of it is pretty rough and shaky with BIG BIG gaps in between. This fanfiction writing comes pretty slow to me, I'll go months without any thoughts and then suddenly I'll have something. (You'd think working in a high school might make it easier to write these stories, but it doesn't seem to.) Anyway, spring break is two weeks away, maybe I'll do some writing then (since these rain and lightning storms don't seem to ever be going away -- I mean, it's nice not to constantly be in a draught all the time and to have so much snow in the mountains, but I really need some sunny beach weather soon!) I'll post 'em soon as I finish any. Thanks again for reading.

[Gilly]

Well, I can't wait for them! I tried to write fanfiction once and it was awful. I work in a high school too and it didn't seem to help!

[Jody Barsch*]

Okay, well, I definitely have a little bit of a thing going on between Brian and Rayanne in episodes 21 and 22 (which is funny because I definitely never had that in mind when I set out to write ff), but I know that I don't want it to be a continuing thing, and so I'm kind of stuck finding a way to end it. I was thinking maybe Brian would start feeling guilty about being with Rayanne when Rayanne was the one who hurt Angela... That's my most specific idea right now, but I don't really like what it says about Brian's frame of mind. I kind of want Brian to end it, and not just to be rejected by Rayanne, or for Rayanne to freak out and not be able to deal with it... Basically, the longstanding tension between them materializes into passion, but where do they go from there? Brian doesn't have the day-after skills that Jordan does. Anyway, number 22 is getting close to being finished, although the storyline is a tad schizophrenic.

[TomSpeed]

Well, there's always the "new girl in school." I used that motif myself. Yes, it's easy. But then again, it's easy.

Rayanne and Brian...I'm not sure if that plot line works. Yes, Rayanne gets to know Brian better during the episodes, but she knows that Brian's thing for Angela. Would Rayanne play payback? I don't know.

Anyway, you could make it work, but you'd need to build some type of foundation over a few episodes, a plot arc.

I had similar problems with my second fan fic. I knew where I wanted the characters to end up. But I saw that I'd need to do a novelization or write multiple episodes to accomplish my goals. My problem is that I want to be a writer, but I rarely set aside time to write. Plus, I usually think my ideas are silly. It's a vicious cycle.

Good luck!

[Gilly]

I always thought that Rayanne and Brian would make out once but after that he wouldn't know how to deal with it and she'd pretend nothing happend, like in Halloween when he thought them falling asleep together was a big deal and she shrugged it off. I think that if they had a relationship Rayanne would pull a Jordan Catalano and pretend it didn't exist because of how it would affect her reputation but I also think Brian wouldn't be able to handle it and would feel too guilty.

[Jody Barsch*]

Great input guys, thanks!

My problem is that I want to be a writer, but I rarely set aside time to write. Plus, I usually think my ideas are silly. It's a vicious cycle.

I totally hear that Tomspeed! Thanks for always sharing your perspective

[Lizka]

My problem is that I want to be a writer, but I rarely set aside time to write. Plus, I usually think my ideas are silly. It's a vicious cycle.

I've got the opposite problem. I want to be a writer, but I procrastinate too much, and so I waste oodles of time when I could be writing. Plus, while I think my ideas are OK, I think my writing's silly as soon as I start, y'know, writing. It's another vicious cycle.

[Jody Barsch*]

Uh, it took me way too many years to notice that I titled this thread "stoylines" instead of storylines. Oops I'm almost done with episode 23. (It takes a horrendously long time just to insert all the bold and italics icons.) This episode was a bit controversial in its early stages, I hope I've worked some of that out, and provided enough background to make the circumstances seem plausible.

We've received the following e-mail -- might be interesting for some (fanfiction) writers to submit their original work:

The Other Network TV Writing Contest gives you the chance to get your script read by top TV showrunners...

The 2004 comedy contest brought hundreds of entries from all over the U.S. and Canada. Seven winning scripts were read by Bob Odenkirk, Jay Kogen, Cindy Chupack, Jenny Bicks, Bill Oakley & Josh Weinstein, John Riggi, and Alan Zweibel.

Un-Cabaret Multi-Media has optioned several of these scripts and is currently shopping them to agents, producers & networks, including one which has Alan Zweibel attached as Executive Producer.

Entry form & registration at uncabaret.com:

http://www.uncabaret.com/tvcontest.html

Half-hour and one-hour script deadline: July 1, 2005

Now you can also submit one-hour scripts to the Other Network TV Writing Contest. The winners will receive script notes from -- Winnie Holzman (creator of "My So-Called Life", writer of"Wicked"), Bryan Fuller (creator of "Wonderfalls" and "Dead Like Me"), and Amy Lippman (co-creator & Executive Producer of "Party of Five").

Did we mention that the 6 top winning scripts will also receive free Shout Factory DVDs including "Freaks & Geeks", "SCTV", and "Home Movies"?:

http://www.uncabaret.com/tvcontest.html

We can't wait to see what you have!

Note: Submitting your script costs $40 -- and remember registering your script with the WGA if applicable.

I'm kind of bummed I missed that, it would have been fun just to try. I can't believe I never even saw that thread until today. What a cool thing for those people to do!

[BeverlyHills_RockStar16]

I LOVED UR STORIES!! you capture the characters so well!! , and i love the relationship between Rayanne and Brian, But i think Angela and Brian should be togther... like , not all at once but slowly. I think that would be awesome.

[lalaisfun]

I have to admit that writing fanfictions sometimes can be hard to do, but I like your stories. In episode #23, I love the insight that you put into the characters and how everything is affecting the mood of the story. I enjoy how you had the realistic view of what will happen when someone is physically abused like Jordan Catalano, and how someone like Angela will try to help, even though she has no clue or expirience in the situation. The thing that kind of confused me was with Angela and Rayanne. The whole issue still lingers there and the fact that Angela came to her for advice surprised me, but I can defenatly buy it. Rickie's situation almost made me cry, believe it or not, but I guess it tends to happen when you are close to people that had gone thru the same struggle. I like how the similarities in Rickie and Jordan reflect and how they both kind of confide in each other in times of trouble. Like in the episode So-called Angels. Jordan is defenatly lost in what he has to do, and anyone will be if they were in the same situation with nowhere to turn, like a locked alley and the only exit is your worst struggle to fight with. I feel for Brian, I think that he always ends up being the one to get caught up in the middle and always gets blamed for it. The part that i enjoyed the most was the finale. Yeah, it was a little clicheic (not sure that this is a word) but it always works to bring that extra something. Keep up the good work and I honestly hope that you keep on going with the story.

p.s. * I appreciate that you came back, (ingrid - in case you didn't know - from myspace) and as a loyal fan that I am to your story I reviewed and said what it thought about the recent chapter.

Take care

[Jody Barsch*]

Thanks so much BeverlyHills_RockStar16 and lalaisfun for the really nice feedback. I’m so happy that you’re having fun reading them.

About Angela and Rayanne in the bathroom … Yeah, I was worried that that wouldn’t come out how I had envisioned it. Through the 7 episodes I have planned out (#’s 20-26) I have been very purposeful in my development of what happens between Angela and Rayanne, and the bathroom scene is definitely out of place within that story arch. My thinking behind it was that I wanted to create a liminal space (a temporary in-between space of ambiguity where people, who not otherwise be able to, can interact with each other as equals. It functions as an opportunity for ideas/people to cross or negotiate between cultural, political, ideological and artistic entities. Ex: The Canterbury Tales, The Breakfast Club), in this case created by Angela’s feelings of ineptitude, and Rayanne’s enduring desire to protect Angela (and also that they both miss each other). I thought that one, it would be fun to see how Rayanne might advise Angela on this topic, but more than that, I wanted to show the ambiguous experience that dropping your best is. While at once you are relieved to be rid of them, and angry over the circumstance that broke you up, you also eventually grow nostalgic and start to miss that friend. When you have a history with a person, it’s sometimes hard to remember that you’re supposed to be mad at them, or that you’re not supposed to look after them anymore. Anyway, if any of that made sense, that’s what’s behind that scene. I wanted to write all of #23 without using voiceovers, but I felt like one was necessary there, or nobody would know what happened.

[Jody Barsch*]

Queen of Brooklyn! I totally appreciate the time and thought that you put into your posts, it’s so helpful, and encouraging, and I have fun talking about it with you. I hope you find more things to keep you coming to the forum!

So is Mr. Katimski really fired and completely gone? Or are we ever going to see him again? Oh, and also with Rickie, I think his character on the show went through a lot of changes too. Like in the beginning, we saw him dealing with bullies and not fitting in, but he was mainly happy and rather passive in regards to Rayanne. Towards the end more things started happening to him, and I think he really grew and became stronger. He started standing up to Rayanne and being honest with people. He changed, and I don’t really think he would ever be quite as dreamy

Yes, I’m pretty sure that Katimski is fired, and I don’t think we’ll see him again, I don’t think. I totally got what you were saying about Rickie, it makes perfect sense, and put into words what I was kind of thinking.

I think you actually write Patty very well. For instance…
P: [chuckles] You think of Jordan Catalano as James Dean?
G: Well, he’s certainly without a cause.
You really captured the way they relate to each other and bring in all these outside references in their conversations. Really, don’t be too hard on yourself, you’re writing Patty great!

That’s really nice, thank you. The older I get the more I love Patty, and especially after watching two episodes today, I hope I’m doing her justice.

I don’t think with Jordan you are just projecting things onto him. There’s only one scene that I thought may have been a little too sweet of him, but it’s too wonderful for you to get rid of!

The one on the bleachers right? The “I like you speech? I know… I wasn’t really sure if that fit into character, but I liked it too. And, like I said, I needed to show that Angela was getting what she needed out of this relationship when she really needed it, or I couldn’t justify her getting back together with him.

The balance between sweet Jordan and cool Jordan is perfect. I really like how even though their relationship is maturing, they are still not completely comfortable with each other. It doesn’t feel like the relationship is just rushing straight into this serious thing, instead you take a couple steps forward and then a step or two back. I really liked the bit when they were talking in Angela’s kitchen! … I love how Jordan’s friends know who she is- like when the one friend mentions Jordan’s lady and Cynthia says she’s the girl he’s not sleeping with. I live for little moments like that!

Yea, I’m so glad that they’re entertaining someone else. The Angela and Jordan scenes are always the first ones I write, everything else is structured around them – I have the most fun writing them (and the Jordan stories were what first motivated me to try fanfictions more than ten years ago). I liked what you said about the “couple steps forward and then a step or two back”, it’s hard sometimes to see if it reads the way I mean it to, or if it’s only clear to me because I know what was in my head when I wrote it.

So did Rayanne and Brian actually have sex, or did they just make out? Brian says that her shirt was off, but it was never entirely clear if they actually went all the way. Brian was awfully calm about the whole thing if they really did! I mean, as he ever even kissed a girl before her? … are they completely over? Or would they still maybe hook up occasionally? I think it’s good that both characters separately realized what they would do to Angela and began to have doubts.

Yeah, I meant for this to be a bit ambiguous. It’s totally up to your interpretation, because I’m not even definite on what happened, but in my mind, there definitely was no sex, definitely kissing, and maybe Rayanne giving a little head (uh-oh, am I allowed to say that in the forum? That kind of talk flies in the interactive story, but I don’t know about in the forum …) As far as I know, they are over.

Poor guy, all these changes…

I know, I was kind of having fun at Brian’s expense in this episode (as the audio commentator on the Sex and City DVD’s (Darren Starr?) loves to put it: “the pie in the face)”. Brian was finally getting past Angela – he repositioned his telescope, that we know he used to watch Angel with, showing us that he’s finally ready to see other things; he can’t find his camera around Angela, and we know he used to take pictures of her, but he does have it when he sees Rayanne, but then everything kind of falls apart. Just like what we saw in “Life of Brian” – Brian takes an interest in someone else, and Angela enters the picture and Brian can’t let go of that. I don’t think that Brian and Rayanne would ever have a lasting relationship, but perhaps if Angela wasn’t a factor, it might have lasted longer than it did (and what’s worse, is that neither of them were really doing it because of Angela. (On the topic of Brian and Angela, I do now want to show that the more Angela thinks about it, she is kind of reconsidering Brian and what potential might be there, but as it’s a relatively new idea, there doesn’t really seem to be a place to put it in and let it develop…)

I think Jordan handles things well. I mean seriously, the assistant principal was bringing up Angela, his friend knows Jordan hangs out a lot with her…but he doesn’t act all ashamed or embarrassed, he just deals with it.

I like that too. Yeah, I’m not sure what other people think about the assistant principal scenes, but they’re some of my favorites. I think I like looking at the different kind of relationships that Jordan has with people. I also like that while he is going out of his way to help Jordan, he unknowingly gives the Chases bad information about Rickie,

Thank you for the perspective on the weekend thing, I’m still very uncertain of what I want to do with this, and your thoughts will help when I sit down in June to start writing the episode. (Don’t worry though about the Jordan/Raynanne thing, nothing bad comes of it, and it’s kind of the episode’s joke on Angela. Angela’s drinking, I’m not going to try to defend it right now because I haven’t even written how it comes about yet, but I do have a theory explaining my defense of this choice if I need it (it works for my episode #20 too).

Oh, that reminds me, you never explained what was causing Rayanne’s crazy behavior in Isolation. Was it anything to do with Brian, or was there some other reason?

The Rayanne storyline kind of fell flat for me in that last episode, I’m not really sure why she was acting out that way, but then, no one else is. While Rayanne is still a part of the show’s story, I kind of see her on the sidelines right now, and as such, we don’t really get to see her point of view. It might be a reaction to things ending between her and Brian, or her being freaked out that something happened between them or it might be something totally different. It might be the eventual reaction to everything kind of falling apart form her and feeling isolated. I’m not sure. I like the idea of it maybe having something to do with her dad, I’m keeping that in the back of my mind. I kind of would like there to be a continuing soft-spot recognition between these Rayanne and Brian… (I wanted to be sure that what happened at the cast party didn’t involve drinking because I didn’t want Rayanne being drunk when she goes for Brian. I didn’t want it to be another thing where somebody is with her when they want Angela; Brian wants to be with Rayanne.)

Okay, Jordan and Rickie’s living situation. I don’t think Rickie would tell the Chase’s he wasn’t living at Pride House. … And Jordan. Where’s he gonna be? … So he must have gotten drunk the night that him and Angela were in the car and he invited her to the lake. Interesting.

Yes, Jordan is definitely going back home, he left to kind of let things cool off, and for him to kind of wrap his mind around what happened, since he was under the impression that he had taken care of things a couple of years ago, that this isn’t the “arrangement” anymore. Jordan’s going home. Rickie, I’m not sure… The Chases will definitely find out the reality of the situation; at this point, they’re not aware there’s been a miscommunication, and neither is Rickie, I don’t know what I’m going to do with this now. Huh, I just realized I’ve been misreading your post. I thought you had written: “I don’t think Rickie wouldn’t tell the Chase’s he wasn’t living at Pride House. … That changes things. I’d like to hear more about that… No, don’t think Jordan’s drunk when he invites her to the lake. (I’m going to go back and look at that.)

[Jody Barsch*]

… So he must have gotten drunk the night that him and Angela were in the car and he invited her to the lake. Interesting.

No, don’t think Jordan’s drunk when he invites her to the lake. (I’m going to go back and look at that.)

I went back and looked. No. Jordan had not been drinking when he asked Angela to the river. I'm not sure how much time has passed in between "Waiting" and "Isolation", but I had never had in mind that when Rickie asks about Angela's plans with Jordan that they would be the plans at the river (although now that I think about it, that might work (I'd have to figure out if the week nights worked out...)). But no, Jordan was not drunk in that scene, nor do I think that was the night that the thing happened between him and his dad. About that ending though (in Jordan's car at the end of "Waiting")...

[Angela and Jordan are sitting in his parked car (probably outside her house) Angela is just looking at him, smiling]
J: What?
A: [Kind of shaking her head out of it, but still smiling to herself] Nothing.
J: What? [She doesn’t say anything just smiles] Angela-
A: What?
J: [Kind of shaking his head giving up, but in a good mood way] I don’t know, nothing. [Pause, takes a breath as he begins to speak] Today—
A: [Angela starts speaking at the same time, not noticing that Jordan had been beginning a sentence] You know what?
J: Huh?
A: I think I like you.
J: [Amused—He easily abandons what he was starting to tell her, and follows her conversation] Oh yeah?
A: [Still smiling] Uh huh. [Jordan lunges in for a kiss. They kiss for a while. He pulls back and studies her in that way he does, she is still smiling]
J: [Leaning in a little with a boyish half-serious half-playful tone/look] Are you sure you don’t wanna have sex?
A: [Not shocked, still smiling and in the same tone of voice as the rest of their conversation, with a touch of patience] Yes. [Adding] But I like you just the same. [Jordan lets out a breath in a kind of huff/sigh and turns from facing her to facing out of the front windshield, just kind of staring. After a moment, without facing her again, he reaches across her and opens the passenger door. Angela is not offended, and after a moment she gets out and shuts the door, Jordan hasn’t changed his position. She ducks her head in the window] Goodnight. [His eyes move away from her, but he nods a couple of times in recognition. She turns and walks up the walkway.]
J: Hey! Angela. [She walks back towards the car but not all the way. Her face is blank, but not in a negative way] There’s this bonfire at the river tomorrow. Would you want to come?
A: [Small smile -- not triumphant] I’ll ask. ‘Night. [She turns and walks to her house. Jordan starts his car and drives away]

I like that this scene ends the episode. It bookends us with the story of Jordan wanting to have sex with Angela, but of course we’re seeing that in a very different light than we did in “Pressure” – they are honest and playful, and its not all that there is between them. I also like that because there’s stuff in the episode about Patty and Graham not being entirely comfortable with Angela hanging out with Jordan all the time, and that she ends it with “I’ll ask.” It grounds their relationship in the reality of teenagers living under adult rules. While this episode covers a lot of different stories, I also wanted it to seem like a lot of confusion around the now simpler story of Angela and Jordan. And I like that she waits for him to say all that to her, and all the stuff that happens in this episode, before she’s comfortable enough to plainly tell him her feelings.

[Jody Barsch*]

Here's another random scene from the 10 years project. This is the encounter at the Christmas party that Jordan and Angela reference in their meeting in the bar.

[Seven years after the show ended. Angela has finished school, and has been in New York for a six-month internship, she is home for Christmas before the internship ends in January. She and Jordan pretty much lost contact over the past couple of years. There have been infrequent phone calls and post cards, and scattered visits, but for the most part they have slipped out of each other’s worlds. In this scene, they are both at a Christmas house party somewhere in the Three Rivers area. Angela and Jordan are there separately. Angela is drunk. Jordan is hanging with some friends, listening to a buddy strumming a guitar; Jordan messes around on the harmonica, playing a few notes here and there, but really he is just listening to the music and occasionally joining the conversation of the small circle of people he is sitting with. Angela watches Jordan, waiting for him to notice her. She eventually catches his eye and he gives her a warm smile, then returns to his harmonica, plays a few drifting notes and then slips into the conversation again. He isn’t playing games any longer, he just doesn’t feel that pull towards her anymore. It’s nice to see her, really nice, but he doesn’t need to feel her by his side. Angela stands in place, smile cracking as it turns from genuine to a mask of disappointment. She turns for the bar.
Later: Angela is with a few people, having one of those liquored conversations of heightened genuineness and shrill exclamations. Jordan, as he sides up, acknowledges the scene for what it is -- the alcohol is the host to a self-congratulating orgy of cattiness and self-preservation. When she notices him she turns, slurring into a smile and resting a hand on his arm, exclaiming in a painfully audible tone]
A: Oh my god, hi!
J: Hey.
A: I didn’t know you were here. [Jordan allows her this fallacy, she’s never really mastered drinking] So wow, how are you.
J: Uh, good. [To him Angela sounded like a soccer mom at cocktail hour]
A: [allowing herself this bit of honesty, but awkwardly giving it a coy twist] I thought I might see you here.
J: Oh yeah?
A: [taking a sip] It’s been a while.
J: Yeah. Graduated?
A: Yeah. Here with anybody?
J: No. [her bravado returns]
A: I haven’t seen you in years, Still doing--? What are you doing?
J: playing music. Doing some carpentry.
A: Ever go back to school?
J: [He looks above the crowd’s heads for a moment. With a slight grimace, he returns to the conversation] No.
A: [she can see his friends are kind of looking at her-the drunk girl talking too loud in a fake voice] Oh, [she says this as if she really pities him, as if this had been his dream and she was really sorry to hear it had not come true, but her tone resembled that of a news anchor – the intonation was there, but it was hollow, if the party had been quieter it might have echoed.]
J: Well, if you remember, it was never part of my plans. [his voice is taking on a sharper edge]
A: Right. Right. You know I just got back from New York. I’ve been studying there. You should visit, we could spend a weekend—
J: Cut the crap.
A: What.
J: [He’s bored with her performance] Just, give it a rest Angela. Who do you think you’re fooling? I’m not interested in that fake voice. Don’t flirt with me. I know you.
A: [she feels exposed and humiliated. The tone has left her voice] What does that mean? [Jordan takes a look around, his friends are watching through lowered lids and from the corners of their eyes. He growls a sigh, irritated to have been a part of even such a small scene. He takes Angela’s arm at the elbow and walks with her around a corner where they are alone. He begins speaking to her firmly but calmly, he is not angry or cruel at the beginning, but the tension escalates as he speaks. He is not entirely sober himself.] Angela, you’re growing up but you still see me as 17. I’m not lost. You don’t get to save me. Or pity me. Or pretend to be embarrassed by me. I’m sick of this condescending bull s**t, like you’ve made all the right turns and I’m wallowing in this— [regroups] I don’t slack off. And you, you don’t get to think you’re further ahead than me. You’re still this scared little girl who doesn’t know who she’s supposed to be, what she’s supposed to feel, or think or want. You’re scared, you’re still timid and trepidatious and your little jokes just show how scared your really are. Scared or angry. Or maybe just hurt that things finally ended up like they did.
A: 'Ended up'? I left. I’m not waiting around for you to get it together. I’m not following you around anymore like a puppy.
J: Look around Angela, no one’s asking you to.
A: Look at you, hanging around this same town, same friends, wasting your time, same old “what ever happens happens”. Please. It’s a waste. Aren’t you just so sick of this lethargic life? Where are you going? You know what, I am embarrassed for you. And no, I don’t see you at 17 – you had potential then.
J: You’re a sloppy drunk and a real bitch Angela.
A: Don’t you ever f***ing call me again. [Jordan just walks away.]

[Jody Barsch*]

Here's another small scene documenting the difficult moments between them through the years. I'm thinking that this scen would occur towards the end of the summer leading into Angela's senior year in college. I imagine that there are several pressure points putting stress on their relationship with one another, this is one of them: Angela putting pressure on Jordan to get his life into gear.


[Angela and Jordan are talking over a casual lunch of tacos, they are lounging and looking comfortable, it's a pleasant scene. Angela casually brings up a topic that she knows will not be recieved as casual at all.]
A: When are you going back to school? [Jordan gives her a sideways stare, and then continues eating] Have you signed up for any classes? Have you even looked at a schedule?
J: I never said I was going back.
A: Jordan-- Well, what are you going to do?
J: I don’t want to talk about this right now.
A: [under her breath] You never want to talk about it.
J: So?
A: You have to grow up. Whether you want to or not, you have to choose what you want to do. You’re just, you’re flailing. [he sighs, pushes his food away, he is getting irritated and he glares at her] I know you don’t want to hear this, but, I don’t see anything changing in your life. I mean, what’s really changed for you since high school?
J: [standing up to leave, his tone is harsh] Angela, I don’t need this.
A: What do you need?
J: My life is fine. [turning to speak to her before leaving] You know, you never used to talk down to me this way. [He walks away, Angela is taken aback, she wasn’t expecting Jordan to call her out]