Surgically removed from my heart....

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Pedro
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Surgically removed from my heart....

Post by Pedro » Aug 2nd 2002, 4:53 am

Okay, so I know that this post isnt really to do with the DVD set, but I just had to submit it...

As of last night, I finally and oficially got over a person i've been infatuated with for, like, almost two years!!!

I was sat there, and like Angela, I was thinking 'I loved ****** so much, and thought about him so much, and talked about him so much, that it was like he lived inside me. Like he had taken posession of my soul or something. But then one day.....I got over him. It was like ******* had been sugically removed from my heart, and I was free!!'

I even topped it off this morning with a celebration dance around my room to 'Blister in the sun' (i'm not joking!)........Its just such a relief to finally have my life back!

:D :!: :lol: :!:

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Megs
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Post by Megs » Aug 2nd 2002, 2:24 pm

Sweet, Pedro. I remember that feeling. One of the greatest things about being young and in love (or young and suffering an unrequited love). I, too, had a moment just like yours/Angela when I got over my high school sweetheart (finally!). Of course, two weeks later, when he called me after he returned from Paris, I slipped back into my depression, but hey! s**t happens! :(

The Femmes will forever remind me of that intoxicating, librating, ecstatic feeling.

:)
"I have all these dreams where I know exactly what to say. And you tell me, you know, that you forgive me."

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kenickie
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hey pedro...

Post by kenickie » Aug 2nd 2002, 5:19 pm

Hey pedro, we've all been there. Tough isn't it? However I do, and have always felt that going through these kinds of things are good for you. It might be just me, but sometimes I get comfort in feeling sad. It gives you time to get it all out of your system and renew yourself, it's good for the soul. I like to put some really sad songs on, turn out the lights, put my lava lamps on and get drunk. And wallow. And be miserable. And it feels fantastic.

Sorry I'm a bit drunk. (And miserable). And loving it. :wink:

I got off the point a bit there, but you've gone through one of the hardest things ever and you've come out feeling fantastic.
Let's make the memories that dreamers only claim,
But it's hard, when the world knows your name.

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kriddyboo
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Post by kriddyboo » Aug 2nd 2002, 10:19 pm

Oh Lamour

What a heartache it is...

My ex-husband and I were together from the age of 15-25. 10 years! God it hurt when we split... This is what I wrote the week after we split.

This day seems so endless. I mourn for my former life. But was it any life at all? I question reality. Did my life hold the gradour I so wished it had? Or is it just a figment of my ever yearning imigination. A recollection that once observed under a magnifying glass is nothing more than a pale wisp of smoke.

I had believed I was happy but was I? Happy with the misunderstandings, the constant battle of wills? Or was I just so afraid to be alone that I conjured up these images, these illusions of happiness to make my weary head rest at night. To heal my troubled heart.

Now all the disguises are gone, there is no need to put on my mask. No one to placate, I am left bare. My world as I know it is about to disolve. Everything comfortable to be forgotten. I am left alone, left to care for another. My seed, my flesh. I do love her dearly. Perhaps in time she will understand. I hope she does not resent me. Resent my weakness, resent my lonliness, resent my selfishness.

I have so much to give yet I hold back. Restraining my spirit. It is not the brokendown carcass of a life I had imagined it to be. It could still be vital again. But that takes time, and it seems to me that this day will never end.

I yearn for all the tomorrows that have been promised to me. The time to heal, the time to mend. I feel cheated, cheated by fate's cruel joke. Are you happy fate, is it all you dreamed it to be. Are you satisfied by your handiwork? You have broken a life, a heart, a will. There's no turning back. No way to recapture years lost. Dreams drempt but left unfufilled.
Kisses lost in the wind. Words of love forgotton. Touches left behind. All these things may seem superficial, but not to me. Not to me.

Will I ever find a way to smile again? To feel love's warm caress like sunshine on my face. It takes time. This I know. I suppose I'm willing to wait. What else is there left for me to do. I must play my hand the way it has been dealt. I have no other choice. I must go on, will go on. This I know. Perhaps when this day is over I will find the strength. The strength to go forth and recapture my life. It will be difficult but not impossible.
Nothing is impossible when I still have breath left in my body.

So I will start, start tomorrow to take back what is mine. Today is the turning point. Today my life changed. No more regrets. I will not look back. I cant. No excuses this time. Next time will be different, it has to be. Next time I will feel love. Genuine and true. I know it. I feel it. I can only be beaten down so far. Now is the time to crawl back up and lift my head, and shout at fate. You have not claimed me! You will not
defeat me! I am strong, stronger than you think. Watch out for me. I may just surprise you. And I will. I am not finished yet. I will prevail. I will win.

Tomorrow it starts. Tomorrows the day. Thank God I have tomorrow, I will think no more of today.

Sorry I'm a bit wordy... Anyway it came true. I met my husband now and I have NEVER been so happy in my life. After 2 years and I still love to see him every day. He is my life.

So do not fear, love will find it's way to you again. BIGGER and BETTER!!! I promise you...

Pedro
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Post by Pedro » Aug 3rd 2002, 4:50 am

When I decided to submit that post onto the forum, I really didnt expect
any replies other than the odd 'this is in the wrong section...DVD news only!' message, but I was really pleased to read the really inspiring and touching emails frm the other lifers. Unrequited loves can be difficult, so its good to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

My crush lasted for ages, almost two years, and it was really quite difficult to move on before now cos the object of my affection was completely
stringing me along - getting my hopes up, half-arranging to meet and then never finalising the plans - but I finally just felt free the other night. It just lifted, and it felt fantastic. I felt to guilt for moving on, I don't feel like I might have sacrificed a glimmer of a chance, I feel like I have retained my dignity, and am ready to move on to better things.

If anything, this is a bit of a learning curve. Sure, i've had infatuations before, especially as a teenager, but this was my first grown-up real interest. If my feelings would have been requited, I sincerely think it would have been love - at least on my part.

I won't be at all surprised if I get the odd phonecall or text message in the future, in fact i'm expecting it, but although I may be tempted I know that if I never hear from them again in my ntire life, i'll be fine.


Pedro 8)

NIGHTJESSI
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Ah the liberation!

Post by NIGHTJESSI » Aug 3rd 2002, 5:43 am

Pedro, I think so many people posted because they could relate to your feelings. It's so hard when you're in the situation and you really care about the person so much and that person doesn't seem to care back. And it's even worse when you get hints of what you think are feelings for you, only to find out that perhaps maybe you were just reading into things. In any case, when that moment comes when you know you are going to be OK with being without the object of your affection, it really is so freeing. You never imagine you can get over something as serious as a deep crush, but somehow life makes us move on. And as kriddyboo posted, sometimes that crushing blow to love results in something much better in the future. :D
"When you drink from the cup of life, chug." ~ Citibank billboard

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