Fanfiction

SCENE

PROLOGUE

Page's Banner:

Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.

Angela's VOICEOVER translation:

See, there were like, these two.....households?
In, well, sort of near Three Rivers, in a place called Verona,
Which I guess is where this story happens.
Only they were kind of, you know, mad at each other?
I'm not really sure why.

Sharon VOICEOVER:

Oh please, that is, like, so known.

Angela VOICEOVER:

But, so they were trying to tear each other down. Like girls do sometimes, when they feel jealous about what the other one has got. Or whatever.

Rickie VOICEOVER:

I know exactly what you mean.

Angela VOICEOVER:

And it had nothing to do with Jordan Catalano. It was just this....thing....between the Montagues and the Capulets. And it had been there, ever since the night Juliet's mom took that Montague girl to the hospital--

Patty VOICEOVER:

That rude girl?

Angela VOICEOVER:

She wasn't rude!

Patty VOICEOVER:

Well--she devoured Lady Capulet's cheese. Lady Capulet had a whole brick of cheese and she devoured it!

Angela VOICEOVER:

Mom, you couldn't possibly understand about the cheese. But anyway--what was I saying? Oh. Afterward....it was like, they couldn't handle the truth of it. I mean, the Montagues and the Capulets. Or whatever.

Jordan VOICEOVER:

Well. Yeah. I mean, it, like, it had caused some kind of ancient grudge, or, or, or, or, or, whatever. Like that guy that went bug. Or maybe the Montagues just had an unconscious wish. You've heard of those, right?

Page's Banner:

From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life;
Whole misadventured piteous overthrows
Do with their death bury their parents' strife.

Angela VOICEOVER:

And when you stop to think about sex, how people can just have it, like a rash, or a rottweiler, I guess it's not too surprising that Romeo and Juliet fell in love. I always thought I'd fall in love nursing a blind soldier. Juliet fell in love nursing her enemy.

Sharon VOICEOVER:

Like I'm so sure. Earth to Angela. She fell in love with him at the World Happiness Masquerade Dance, don't you remember? Right after Romeo took off his mask and said, "Whatever happens, happens".

Jordan VOICEOVER:

Ironic.

Angela VOICEOVER:

That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

Brian VOICEOVER:

Oh yeah? Just wait until it happens to you.

Angela VOICEOVER:

But wait--so, you mean they had, like, intercourse?

Sharon VOICEOVER:

Like, constantly!

Rayanne VOICEOVER:

See, Bri! Just do like Romeo and maybe you'll get lucky, too--Not!

Jordan VOICEOVER (to Brian):

Go for it, man. She wants you.

Angela VOICEOVER:

But...in my humble opinion, all that sex stuff. Well, it is a big deal. I mean, because sex made your whole life start, and if you think about life as like a circle or something, then sex and death are the same -- look, I'm not saying they're the same, I mean, I'm sure Juliet thought about having sex with Romeo--

Brian VOICEOVER:

She did???

Angela VOICEOVER:

Well, yeah. Boys don't have the monopoly on thinking about it, you know.

Brian VOICEOVER:

They don't???

Angela VOICEOVER:

No! Ah, quit it, Krakow! I'm trying to get through the Prologue here and you're just analyzing everything to death!

Brian VOICEOVER:

Like I'm devastated.

Angela VOICEOVER:

Like I am. But, I mean, I'm sure Juliet thought about having sex with Romeo, but I doubt she ever seriously thought of killing him...Except, I guess, she kind of did.

Jordan VOICEOVER:

Ironic.

Rayanne VOICEOVER:

Watch out for those dead guys. They'll break your heart.

Angela VOICEOVER:

And then she killed herself, too. Because her life, whatever she'd been like with her friends or her teachers -- that was just over. You might say she committed suicide. But in this other way she didn't. She,like, stopped committing suicide. She was free.

Page's Banner:

The fearful passage of their death-mark'd love,
And the continuance of their parents' rage,
Which, but their children's end, nought could remove,
Is now the two hours' traffic of our stage;
The which if you with patient ears attend,
What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.

Rayanne VOICEOVER:

Cute Page, he's got a nice upper bod....I wonder if I should give him my phone number.

Angela VOICEOVER:

When someone dies young, it's like they stay that way forever, like a vampire.

Jordan VOICEOVER:

Wait. That Romeo and Juliet story. That's made up, right?

THE BALCONY SCENE

A little later:

Juliet: Oh Romeo, Romeo, why art thou like this?

Romeo: Like what? (Nibbling on the cold cuts she has tossed down to him)

Juliet: Like how thou art!