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Transcripts

Episode 7 - Why Jordan Can't Read

(last revision 4/1/95)


Angela = Angela Chase
AngelaVO= Angela Chase voiceover
Rayanne = Rayanne Graff
Sharon = Sharon Cherski
Patty = Patty Chase
Rickie = Rickie Vasquez
Graham = Graham Chase
Danielle= Danielle Chase
Brian = Brian Krakow
Jordan = Jordan Catalano
Kyle = Kyle Vinnovich
Camille = Camille Cherski
Teacher = a teacher, chaperone at the museum
George = the museum guard
Buddy = Jordan's bud, the drummer
-----------

[Angela in bed]
AngelaVO: Love...is when you look into someone's eyes, and suddenly, you go
all the way inside...to their soul...and you both know, instantly.
I always imagined I would fall in love, nursing a blind soldier.
Who was wounded in battle. Or maybe while rescuing someone in the
middle of a blizzard, seconds before the avalanche hits. I
thought, at least, by the age of fifteen, I would have a love life.
But, I don't even have a "like" life.

[in their bathroom]
Graham : And, so then, what did he say?
Patty : I think I'm coming down with something.
Graham : Honey, you're just tired.
Patty : That's what you're always saying.
Graham : Honey? Come on.
Patty : I mean, what if I'm not tired? What if this is what I really look
like now?
Graham : Well, then I want a divorce. Patty, come on, what did the repair
guy say?
Patty : He said...I have not gained six pounds.
Graham : Uh, get off, get back on, sometimes it, um-
Patty : Seven pounds?
Graham : sticks.
Patty : <sigh> [elbows Graham out of the way to get to the mirror]
Graham : Ow. Excuse me, could I just have a little tiny space up here in
the corner?
Patty : He said that we need a new printer, he said...do I seem bloated to
you?
Graham : Oh please, not this subject. Please, please. Not this subject.
Patty : No, really, do I seem...how shall I phrase this...fat?
Graham : [long pause] Um-
Patty : Shut up. What day is this?
Graham : Thursday.
Patty : No, I mean the date.
Graham : The...12th.
[uh oh!]
Graham : Are you ever coming to bed?

[in the museum]
AngelaVO: Field trips are so intense. It's like everybody's been let out of
their cages, or something. And we're all roaming around...loose.
Teacher : [moving from group to group] Stay with the group, okay? The most
important thing to remember is to stay with the group. The most
important thing to remember is to stay with the group.
Angela : What is the big deal with staying with the group? I mean, what if
Amelia Earhart had stayed with the group?
Rickie : Or Diana Ross.
Angela : I have to show you something.
Rayanne : What's that?
[they leave Rickie]
Angela : I wrote it last night. I couldn't sleep. It contains every
feeling I've ever wanted to express about Jordan Catalano.
Rayanne : "Dear Jordan, it's-"
Angela : Shhhh!
Rayanne : So, what, are you gonna send it to him?
Angela : No, are you crazy? It's, it's private. I just...I'm, I'm proud of
it. I don't know. I think...I'm finally over him.
Rayanne : So, like, what is, what's in it?
Angela : You know...everything. Like, I admit how I was...overpoweringly
attracted to him, or whatever, but you know, I point out that he
could have handled things differently, and he really did not know
me at all. Even though he acted like he did, and...you, you know,
yeah...I was somewhat obsessed with him, at one time, but you know,
I...not anymore. Because I've, like, moved beyond that.
Rayanne : So, can I read it?
Angela : Yeah. But wait...don't show this to anyone.
Rayanne : I won't! God.

[they all separate to look around, Sharon makes out with Kyle, Angela
lurks around statues to look at Jordan, follows him]
Brian : Chase. She said to stay with the group.
[Rayanne takes a swig, Rayanne flirts with George, uh oh -- she left the
letter on the display!!]

[more of looking around in the museum]
Rayanne : So, you want my number?
George : [laughs]
Rayanne : So do you? [uh oh -- she leaves the letter on the display!!]

[elsewhere in the museum]
Jordan : [approaches Angela, humming "Red"] I've been humming this tune all
day.
Angela : Oh, like, you can't get it out of your mind, or something?
AngelaVO: If only there was a button somewhere that I could just push to
force me stop talking.
Jordan : I could use a cup of coffee.
Angela : You drink coffee?
Jordan : Yeah.
Angela : With, like, cream or...
Jordan : Black, with three or four sugars. Anyway...
Angela : What is that song? Is, is that a, a Crowded House song?
Jordan : No, uh, just this...song that I'm writing. I'm in this band now,
Frozen Embryos, you know? With Tino? So you should hear us
sometime, we're startin' to sound okay. Uh, not really, but...
Angela : Uh, that's, that's great. I, I would love to, I mean, I-
[enter Rayanne]
Rayanne : Angela! Angela!
Jordan : Yeah well, anyway. [leaves]
Rayanne : Angela, okay-
Angela : Rayanne-
Rayanne : just listen-
Angela : Rayanne-
Rayanne : Angela, just listen-
Angela : you will not believe it. Rayanne-
Rayanne : Angela-
Angela : you will not believe this. No, just listen.
Rayanne : just listen. Angela!
Angela : Jordan Catalano was having...a conversation with me, like, on
purpose. Like, a really nice conversation.
Rayanne : Don't hate me.
Angela : What? ["It would take something really bad to spoil this" look]
Rayanne : You know, that, um, letter thing?
Angela : Oh no.
Rayanne : I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
Angela : What did you do? Did you show it to him?
Rayanne : No! God. [pause] I lost it.
Angela : You what?
Rayanne : I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I'll find it for you, I swear. On
the plus side, I met this really cute guard...not that that at all
makes it worthwhile on, like, any level.
Angela : You lost my letter. Which means somebody could have found it. And
Jordan Catalano was being nice to me. [makes a great face] Like,
out of nowhere. [another one]
[they hear Jordan humming]
Angela : Oh my God.
[scene fades, with Jordan humming "Red"]

[school, English class]
[bell rings]
Brian : So, Chase, you still have my Malcolm X, right?
Angela : Yeah, so?
Brian : So, I need it back. Okay?
Angela : Okay! [approaches Jordan] Look, yesterday, on that field trip, this
is gonna sound a little weird, but-
Jordan : Oh, I, I almost forgot. Here. [hands her the letter -- aughhhhh!]
I found it at the museum. You, you wrote it, right?
Angela : Yeah, well, when I, I wrote this, I wrote this about someone else.
Um...I, this guy, I, I had a boyfriend last summer, and, um, I, I,
I wrote everything...I wanted to remember him, and I...I used your
name because I, I wanted...uh, I didn't want other people to know
it was about him, because he...he died...he's dead. [hee hee]
Jordan : [starts to leave] Look, I didn't read it, okay? So, so you don't
have to, like-
Angela : What, you expect me to believe that?
Jordan : Well, I don't care what you believe! [starts to leave again]
Angela : Well, you find a five page letter in a museum and it starts, "Dear
Jordan," and you expect me to believe you didn't read it?
Jordan : Uh, never mind. [starts to leave again] Look, I, I, I read parts
of it, okay?
Angela : What? You must really think I'm stupid. [starts to leave]
Jordan : It just didn't hold my interest, okay? [starts to leave again]
Angela : Oh, really? Why, why is that? I'm curious, I'd really like to
know what it was that made it so incredibly boring. Just tell me,
was it, was it, is it, it too emotional, too personal, too many big
words-
Jordan : Just shut up! Jeez.
Angela : [long pause] You couldn't read it. That's it, isn't it?
Jordan : I never told anyone...before.
Buddy : Catalano. I just talked to Tino, man, he said he can get us that
loft tonight.
Jordan : Cool.
Buddy : Uh yeah, so rehearsal's on.
Jordan : Okay, well-
Buddy : We should tell the other Embryos.
Jordan : I guess so.
Angela : So, you have rehearsal tonight?
Jordan : I, I guess so, yeah.
Angela : Maybe I could hear that song you wrote sometime. ["Ask me" look]
Jordan : Sure, I mean, yeah. Well, we're rehearsin' tonight at this, this
loft that, uh, uh, Tino found, so, uh-
Angela : So you mean I should...go to the loft tonight?
Jordan : Well, you know, whatever. [leaves]
Buddy : [from down the hall] Catalano, let's go!

[in the girls' bathroom]
Rayanne : Wait, say this again?
Angela : Something has happened...between Jordan Catalano and me...and I
can't...I can't explain it, I, I seriously can't. Don't even ask
me, but...I understand him...in this way...I didn't even know
existed. And it has completely changed everything. Everything.

[at a deli]
Camille : Well, how late?
Patty : Eight days. Eight fun-filled days.
Camille : You're eight days late?
Patty : Shhhhh!
Camille : God, you're never late.
Patty : I know.
Camille : Of course, this could just, you know, I mean...you know, I mean it
could be pre-menopause.
Patty : What?
Camille : Don't get all insulted. I said "pre".
Patty : Pre-menopause? What...is that like pre-death?
Camille : Well, it just means that this stage of the game, that you know,
your periods get...get a little funky.
Patty : Funky.
Camille : Sporadic. Look, let's face it. Finally, someday, we are going to
come...to the end of our eggs. [slurps her drink dry]
Patty : You know that this had never occurred to me. God, this is so
depressing. A man loses a little hair, he buys a great sports car.
Camille : I know. But, it's supposed to be very gradual. You know, it's
gonna take, like, ten years or something.
Patty : We end up looking like Germaine Greer on the back of that book.
Camille : I plan on looking like Tina Turner, when I'm fifty. [long pause]
Patty? We're forty! Forty is still considered young. Look,
you're not going through menopause!
Patty : Well, so, what are you saying, that...I could be...pregnant?
Camille : Are you kidding? At your age?

[in the bleachers]
Rayanne : Tell her the best part. [don't know who the "her" is here -- Rickie
doesn't know yet] He asked her to watch Frozen Embryos rehearse
tonight. Which I've been wanting to do, so bad.
Rickie : So, wait, what was this...thing that, that changed everything?
Angela : It's not something I can talk about. All I can say is that it
involves...that letter.
Rayanne : Aaaaa! I knew it! He found the letter. It made him want you.
Right? Am I right?
Angela : Well-
Rayanne : Angelica, do you know what this means?
Angela : Yes, I do. [in a REALLY cute voice]
Rayanne : Yes.
Angela : What does it mean?
Rayanne : It means, this happened. You're happening. You and
Jordan Catalano. And who is the person, without who, none of this
would be happening? Who is the genius who lost this stupid letter
in the first place? Who should you be thanking for the rest of
your life?
Angela : Thank you. [again with the cute voice]
Rayanne : Don't mention it. [gives her a kiss] I gotta go. I gotta beep
George. [leaves]
Angela : George?
Rickie : That museum guard? So, um, um, congratulations.
Angela : I haven't seen him since it happened. If I ran into him, I'd
probably faint.
Rickie : You won't run into him. He has Shop 5th period, Mondays and
Wednesdays, and he never cuts Shop. I, I just know, because I used
to pass him on the way to Computer.
Angela : Oh, right.

[in the living room, eating Nilla Wafers (Na-bis-co!)]
Graham : When?
Patty : I don't know. The night we watched _The Nutty Professor_ on cable?
Graham : That was, like, two months ago.
Patty : And I put the stupid thing in. [hee hee]
Graham : ["Hey!" look]
Patty : I mean the diaphragm.
Graham : Oh, right. [pause] Look, it's not like there were that many times.
Patty : How can you say that? There's been tons of times. What about,
what about the night that Danielle stayed over at Stacy's?
Graham : [grabs box] How, how many of these have you eaten?
Patty : Graham...what if it's a boy?
Graham : Patty, it's not a boy, it's not anything because it's not
happening, you're not pregnant. [pause] You mean, you feel like it
might be a boy?
Patty : No. What am I saying? There's no way that I could be-
[there's Brian, breaking and entering]
Patty : [laughs] Brian! Honey, look, it, it's Brian...Krakow.
Brian : It was open. See, I, um, loaned...Angela my Malcolm X. I read
it already. But, I have to re-read it.
Graham : Well, [really stammers] um, Angela's not here. She's at, uh,
band practi-, practice-
Patty : Yeah.
Graham : tonight, I, I guess she's thinking of joining or something.
Patty : You're in band, aren't you?
[enter Danielle]
Patty : I mean, at least, you, you play the flute.
Danielle: He plays the saxophone. [pause] Hi. [in her sexy voice]
Brian : Hi. Um, so, actually I play both, um, because they say that
colleges really like it if you play more than one instrument.
Graham : You...have to play 'em both at once or...
Brian : ["That's so unfunny" look]
Patty : Well, um, I'm not allowed in Angela's room without a visa. I'll
let her know that you came, though.
Brian : Right. Okay.
Danielle: [walks ahead of Brian as he's leaving]
Brian : So, um, what's this thing that Angela went to again?
Danielle: I don't know. But, there must be someone there she likes 'cause
she changed clothes, like, eight different times. [as Brian's about
to leave, she sticks her arm out, it doesn't even reach the other
side of the doorway] Is the saxophone hard to play? I'm interested
in the saxophone. Maybe you could...show me how to play it
sometime.
[Patty and Graham are stunned and amused]
Brian : Sure, I guess so.
Danielle: When?
Brian : Maybe, maybe tomorrow night. Uh, so she changed clothes?
Danielle: Yeah. So, did you mean it? About the lessons?
Brian : Will Angela be there? I mean, 'cause I need that book.
Danielle: Just come over. I could find the book. [lets him out]

[at the loft, they're tuning]
Rayanne : Let's go. They're totally ignoring us.
Angela : Not yet.
Rickie : Not yet.
Rayanne : If only Tino would get here so they'd play something. Or I could
at least drink more. [pause] I'm calling George again.
AngelaVO: Huge events take place on this Earth every day. Earthquakes,
hurricanes. Even glaciers move. So, why couldn't he just...look
at me?
Jordan : Hey. D'ya wanna hear that song I was telling you about?

"I was goin' nowhere,
goin' nowhere fast.
Drownin' in my memories,
livin' in the past.
Everythin' looked black 'til I found her.
She's all I need, and that's what I said.
Oooh, oooh, oooh, I call her `Red'."

Rickie : Oh my God, Angela! "Red"...that's you!
Angela : ["Oh my God, you're right!" look]

Jordan : "Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I call her `Red'.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She's my shelter from the storm,
she's a place to rest my head.
Late at night, she keeps me safe and warm.

I call her `Red'.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I call her `Red'."

That's all I have so far. [walks away]

Angela : Oh my God, Rickie.
Rickie : Angela, uh-
[enter Rayanne]
Rayanne : So, you are gonna stay, right?
Angela : I don't know.
Rayanne : Well, stay. You should, I mean, that's the whole point, right?
Rickie : Stay, hear, hear the rest of the rehearsal.
Rayanne : We have to go. We should go. But, if you wanna stay-
Rickie : Do you wanna stay?
Rayanne : Do you?
Angela : I, I could.
Rayanne : Then, stay. [gives her a kiss] We're going. Bye. [to all] Bye!
[Jordan's standing on one side of the loft, Angela at the other]
Jordan : I don't think Tino's comin'. [pause] I'm gonna get outta here. You
wanna ride somewhere?
Angela : Okay.
Jordan : Okay.

[in Jordan's car, in front of Chase house]
Angela : I was just thinking...could you maybe have dyslexia?
Jordan : What, that backwards thing?
Angela : Lots of people have it, I mean, my father's brother has it. Makes
reading incredibly difficult 'cause your mind, like-
Jordan : Let's not talk about this.
Angela : reverses things. I'm sorry. [pause] It's actually not...I mean,
a lot of really intelligent people are dyslexic. Just because a
person can't read-
Jordan : Hey, I can read, okay? [pause] Just not...
Angela : No, I know.
Jordan : Just not that good. [pause] You know those guys...up in the
mountains? [inching closer to her]
Angela : What guys? [inching closer herself]
Jordan : Who make snow, like, like, as their job?
Angela : Oh, yeah.
Jordan : [long pause] I would really like to do that.
Angela : [pause] You mean, part-time or-
[they kiss]
Jordan : Sorry.
Angela : For what?
Jordan : Uh, I, I interrupted you.
Angela : Yeah. Thanks.
Jordan : Okay.
Angela : Yeah. [leaves]
[the infamous "Angela's Dance" -- appropriately titled by Ms. Sherry]

[in the upstairs hallway]
Patty : Angela, do you hear me? You're gonna be late! Exactly when did I
turn into Auntie Em?
Graham : So, how soon can you take the, um, test?
Patty : Tomorrow. Tomorrow I will take it and hopefully we-
[enter Danielle]
Patty : Yes, honey, what is it?
Danielle: Angela's in love.

[in the kitchen, Angela's humming "Red"]
Patty : She's drinking coffee.
Graham : And humming.
Angela : I can go out on dates, right?
Graham : ["You take it" look]
Patty : Of course you can go out on dates. But we do have certain ground
rules.
Angela : Like what?
Graham : Like what?
Patty : ["Thanks, doof" look] Like, you have a curfew. And, we have to
know where you're going, and whoever else is gonna be there. And,
we have to have an understanding about drinking, namely, that
you're not gonna be doing any. And if a boy that you're out with
takes a drink, then you have to swear on a stack of Bibles that you
will not let him drive you home. And, um, and of course, we have
to meet him first, whoever he is.
Angela : [going along with everything, smiling, up until this one]
Patty : And...that's it.
Graham : Wow.
Angela : You have to meet him first?
Patty : ["You'd better take this one, buster" look]
Graham : Uh, yes. Like a little milk in your coffee?
Angela : No, I take it black, with three or four sugars.
Graham : Oh, I see.
Angela : Why do you have to meet him first? That's humiliating. I mean,
this person means something to me.
Graham : There is a person...who means something to you?
Angela : Yeah, and I don't see why you can't just trust that. Why do I have
to parade him around in front of you?
Patty : Because...we want to drag you down to our level.
Danielle: So, say it was somebody you knew. Then I wouldn't have to
introduce him to you. 'Cause you already know him. Right? [what a
cutie!]
Graham : Go to school.
Patty : [laughs]
Graham : Uh, and you wanna go through this with yet a third one?
Patty : I'm not saying I want to, I'm just saying...what if it's true?
Graham : I don't know. Do you want it to be true?
Patty : Do you?
Graham : When he's, um, forty, we'll be...dead.

[school, in the hall, Sharon and Kyle are kissing, "Sodajerk" plays]
Kyle : Rayanne Graff's staring at us.
Sharon : So?
Kyle : She's so low. She's so disgusting. The other day, at the museum,
I heard she had sex with one of the guards.
Sharon : Oh, get over it.
Kyle : What?
Sharon : Well, face it. If a guy did that on a field trip, you and your
friends would give him a medal.
Kyle : Hey, I'm just making conversation. Besides, I thought you hated
her.
Sharon : I do. I mean, of course I do. But...I just think...there's a lot
of great reasons to hate her, without dragging in her sex life.
Kyle : Hmm.

[at the lockers]
Angela : It was amazing. I keep running it over and over in my mind, like
it was a movie.
Rickie : That's just what I would do.
Angela : I want to see him so much, but at the same time, it's like, I don't
just wanna see him...with, like, no preparation.
Rickie : It's exactly how I would be. [pause] Look, he usually goes to P.E.
on Thursdays, so, if you could be on the north side of the gym as
fifth period lets out-
Angela : Rickie.
Rickie : You don't have to say it.
Angela : [gives him a kiss]

[on the north side of the gym, Angela prepares]
Angela : Hi. Oh, hi. Hi. Oh, hi. Hi. Hi.
[enter Jordan, with two buddies]
Angela : Hi.
Jordan : Hey. [buds give him some room] So, what's up?
Angela : I can't get that song you wrote, like, out of my mind.
Jordan : I, I'm still not done writin' it, so-
Angela : Well, there's this movie and, um, and it kinda reminds me of your
song...or...your song kinda reminds me of the movie but, um,
hearing it kinda makes me want to go to the movie again.
["Hint, hint" look]
Jordan : [really long pause] Oh, uh, yeah, we could do that.
Angela : Uh, yeah, but, um, the thing is...this is gonna sound so weird.
My parents are kinda, like, from the Stone Age, but, um, they
have to meet you. Before.
Jordan : Before what?
Angela : Before we could go to the movie.
Jordan : Oh. [pause] Yeah, okay.
Angela : Yeah! I mean, you could just come by, like, tonight, you know,
anytime, and it'd be settled. And, we could just go to the movie,
like, anytime this weekend.
Buddy : Catalano. Let's go.
Angela : So, I mean, would you wanna do that? Would you, like, tonight?
Say around 7:30?
Jordan : Yeah, sure. Why not? [leaves]
Angela : ["Oh God" look, leaves]
Buddy : What was that about?
Jordan : Shut up.

[Chase house]
Graham : I just wasn't expecting to have to meet this guy so soon. I, I
wasn't expecting to have to meet ANY guy so soon.
Patty : Yeah, well. Neither was I. But I guess...we are. I guess she's
pretty serious about him. Listen, I think you'd better prepare
yourself. I get the definite feeling...that this kid is very good
looking.
Graham : So? What, do you think I can't handle that?
Patty : <chortle>
Graham : God, how did it come to this?
Patty : I don't know!
Graham : You and your ground rules!
Patty : Well, what was I supposed to say? We can't keep her locked in her
room.
Graham : Why not? No, really. Like, how did locking kids in their room get
such a bad rap.
Patty : I don't know. Look at me. I'm bloated, I'm very, very interested
in chocolate-
[doorbell rings]
Graham : Okay.
Patty : [goes to door, puts on happy face]
[enter Brian]
Patty : [laughs] It's only Brian. Come on in. Angela! Brian's here.

[later]
Brian : Anyway, so Danielle seemed interested, so...I thought I'd show her
how the sax works, and then I remembered that I still need my
Malcolm X, so-.
[enter Angela, all dolled up]
Angela : Here's your book.
Brian : How come you look like that?
Angela : Like what?
Patty : Brian, would you like something to drink?
Graham : I definitely need a drink.
[enter Danielle]
Danielle: Hi.
Brian : Hi. You just look like you're going to a costume party as someone
else.
Danielle: So, where are we gonna have it? The lesson?
Angela : Look, if you must know, Jordan Catalano is coming over, so-
Brian : What?
Angela : Yeah, shut up! Why is that so amazing? I'm sorry if you
disapprove.
Brian : I don't disapprove. I'm just sickened.
Angela : Will you just get out of here, would you?
Patty : [in kitchen] Uh, Danielle-
Graham : [in kitchen] Honey, could you come in here a second?
Danielle: No! Anyway, he's here to see me.
Brian : So, what, you and Jordan Catalano are, like, a couple?
Angela : Yes, why is that so hard to accept? He's coming over, and...we're
probably gonna go see _The Bicycle Thief_ this weekend together.
Brian : What? You think Jordan Catalano will understand one word of
_Bicycle Thief_?
Angela : Shut up!
Brian : You only understand it because I explained it-
Angela : That's such a lie!
Brian : You're bringing Jordan Catalano to _The Bicycle Thief_? That
idiot?
Angela : Don't you dare call him that! You don't know, you don't
understand. Not for one second. You think you understand, but you
don't! You just analyze everything until it barely even exists.
[they're standing very close, then they just storm past each other]

[at the loft]
Buddy : It's Tino. He said we should meet him over on Cliburn. There's
a party. [on phone] Yeah. Okay. Yeah. [hangs up] Let's go!
There's nothing to eat here anyways. Yo, Catalano, come on.
Jordan : Nah, there's this...this thing I said I would do.
Buddy : What thing?
Jordan : Just this thing...that I said I would do.
Buddy : Whatever.

[switch back and forth between Jordan at the loft and the Chases waiting in
their living room, Jordan humming "Red" in the background]
Angela : I kept it loose. Wasn't definite, wasn't like a date-
Patty : Oh, we...know that.
Angela : Actually, I'm pretty tired. I think I'd better go to bed.
[with Jordan singing "She's my shelter from the storm, she's a place to rest
my head. Late at night, she keeps me safe and warm." in the background,
she cries on the floor of her room]

[Angela's bedroom, she's on her bed, dressed in black, looks like a
casket pose]
AngelaVO: This life has been a test. If had been an actual life, you would
have received instructions on where to go, and what to do.
[in the kitchen, Angela just stands in front of the sink, Patty and
Graham are avoiding her]

[school, in the girls' bathroom, Rayanne's staring at Sharon]
Sharon : What?
Rayanne : So've you and Kyle gone all the way yet?
Sharon : That is completely none of your business.
Rayanne : Duh. Look, I know it's none of my business. I mean, we're
totally not friends, due to the fact that neither of us can stand
each other. That's why...I asked you. Go ahead, ask me anything.
Go ahead. It's, like, relaxing.
Sharon : You're so weird.
Rayanne : Duh, squared.
Sharon : [looks down to see if there are any legs in the stalls, Rayanne
checks with her] Okay, look. I made a solemn promise to myself,
that I would not go all the way until I was ready. And I'm, like,
sticking to that. [this doesn't really answer the question]
Rayanne : Oh. I was just vaguely curious. 'Cause, I mean, when I saw you
making out with Kyle in the hall, I mean, you act like you're...
reaching ecstasy.
Sharon : Well, yeah. Well, I mean, I mean, I mean, when, you know how that
is.
Rayanne : Oh, yeah...in a way. [pause] I mean, it's fun and all, you know,
I...don't always feel anything, you know. Sometimes I feel like...
numb, or something.
Sharon : Maybe you just...haven't found the right person yet.
Rayanne : I've tried every TYPE of person. [laughs] Look, no big deal, you
don't have to look all...worried or anything.

[at the lockers]
Angela : God, Rayanne, I wish I could be like you. I mean, you're
relationships may be short, but at least they're real. At least,
you're not making them all up.
Rickie : You know, you haven't even heard his side yet.
Angela : I don't wanna hear his side. I never wanna see him again, for the
rest of my-
[enter Jordan, down the hall]
AngelaVO: It was kind of like driving by a horrible car accident. You just
had...to look.
[Angela and Rayanne give him dirty looks and leave]
Rickie : Um, she's, uh, a little upset. Um, I, I guess, well, because, um,
well, never mind.
Jordan : No, what?
Rickie : Um, I, I guess she figures, you know, um, uh, why didn't you...
you call, or something.
Jordan : Yeah, that makes sense. [pause] She just, she, like, wanted me to
meet her parents. I just...I, I, I, I wasn't in the mood, you
know? It's like, she, she's, I don't know, she knows too much
about me, or something. I know, not really, but...she just makes
too big a deal out of everything. I mean, she makes everything...
too complicated. Anyway.
Rickie : Well, it, it was, it was...partly that, that song...that, that
you wrote? She, she really liked it. And it was, um, obvious...
what it, what it was about, so-
Jordan : Yeah. My car.
Rickie : ["Oops!" look]
[bell rings]

[in their bedroom]
Graham : [knocks on bathroom door] Patty? So how's the test going? Did you
flunk? But seriously, hon, do, do you know...anything yet?
Patty : [to herself] I can't believe it. It's a miracle. [comes out, big
smile on her face]
Graham : Oh, sweetheart. Oh, God.
Patty : I got my period. [laughs]
Graham : Oh, okay. I just, for a second I thought, uh-
Patty : I feel such...relief, such...gratitude for my life, my freedom. I
mean, the idea of actually...starting over again right now with
another child when I'm...just beginning to...I just don't wanna go
back there now. [looks at Graham] Oh Graham, oh sweetheart, you
wanted a son.
Graham : Well, maybe just a, a little. You know, it's, it's not like I
go around...wanting one...all the time. [pause] I guess, I just
sort of fell in love with the idea...of having a son.
Patty : I'm sorry. I thought you were past all that now.
Graham : I thought so, too.

[Angela's room, Patty knocks and enters -- Angela's a lump on her bed]
Patty : I come bearing ice cream. It's cookie dough. You can...eat it
right out of the carton.
Angela : Mom, if you care about me at all, do not attempt to cheer me up,
'cause it's not possible.
Patty : [turns to leave]
Angela : You can leave the ice cream.
Patty : [sits down] You know, I wasn't gonna try to cheer you up. I
wouldn't presume to think that...anything I could...say would lift
your spirits.
Angela : Well, good, because you can't.
Patty : It's ironic, isn't it? Emotions? I mean, all this week, I was so
afraid that I was pregnant.
Angela : What? [laughs -- yay!] You're not, are you?
Patty : No. I said, I thought...incorrectly, as it turns out, that I
might...accidentally...have become pregnant.
Angela : Mom? [laughs uncontrollably, rolls around on bed -- yay, squared!]
Patty : Well, it's not...that funny. Oh, I'm so pleased...that I've been
able to...brighten your day.

[outside, Graham and Danielle have a catch]
[enter Brian]
Graham : Hi.
Brian : Hi.
Danielle: Angela's in there.
Brian : Um, would you still like me to give you a saxophone lesson?
Danielle: No. [drops glove and leaves]
Graham : Guess that answers your question, huh? [gestures for Brian to pick
up the glove]
[enter Angela and Patty]
Angela : Why is Dad playing catch with Brian Krakow?
Patty : I guess if you live with three women, it could make any man
desperate.
Graham : Hello. Here, why don't you play. [gives glove and ball to Angela]
Take over.
Brian : So, what did your parents think about Jordan Catalano? Were they,
like, revolted?
Angela : [whips ball at him] We are not talking about Jordan Catalano...ever
again.
Brian : We're not? Okay, we're not. Why not?
Angela : Because you are incapable...of understanding.
Brian : Oh yeah, why?
Angela : [whips ball past Brian, into the street] Because it's never
happened to you. I mean, just wait...'til it happens to you,
Brian. Seriously, I cannot wait until it happens to you because
I'm gonna look at you...and I am gonna laugh. And I'll say,
"See? See? I told you so." [goes to chase ball]
Brian : [standing there with "Gosh, I hope not, since it probably would
be you" look]

[The end.]

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“I cannot bring myself to eat a well-balanced meal in front of my mother.”

Angela Chase, Episode 1: "My So-Called Life (Pilot)"