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Chapter 48: Therapy and the first time...again

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Chapter 48: Therapy and the first time...again

written by anonymous author

added on: 03 May 2003 - based on characters created by Winnie Holzman

Open up to Thursday afternoon. Angela is lying on the couch reading one of the magazines that Sharon got her. She has her headphones on listening to the CD Collective Soul by Collective Soul, the song The World I Know is playing. She has been to therapy three times this week, and is starting to make some progress. So far she has begun to feel a little more comfortable around food, and instead of starving herself she is going to be working out, which will help with her fear of gaining weight. Sharon volunteered to go with her, and last night they went jogging together. Jordan has been picking her up every day from therapy, and hasnt pressured her into talking about it, although Angela could tell he was curious because he kept avoiding the subject totally. She even convinced him to stay in summer school to his disliking. Tonight she was even going to go watch Residue practice, which she was really excited about. Now if only the time went by quicker she could deal with the boredom that she was fighting.

AngelaVO: "Are you boring in bed?", oh jeez, another lame quiz....oh well, I dont have anything better to do...

Question 1: After having sex his response is:
A-That was good
B-Falls asleep
C-Lets go have another round
D-Doesnt say anything, gets up, and leaves

AngelaVO: I guess, A, at least most of the time.

Question 2: How often do you initiate sex?
A-Most of the time
B-Sometimes
C-Always
D-Never

AngelaVO: I guess, B, actually I dont know if I have ever like, started it.

Question 3: Have you ever done a striptease for your boyfriend/husband?
A-Yes
B-No

AngleaVO: No, I guess I never thought about that.

Question 4: When you have a question about sex, you go to:
A-your boyfriend/husband
B-your mother
C-your friend

AngelaVO: Definitely C, there is no way I could talk to my mother about sex.

Question 5: You have had sex in more than one location.
A-True
B-False

AngelaVO: Well, true, duh.

Angela finishes the rest of the quiz questions and according to her score she "needs to be more open in bed, try new things, and initiate sex more often."

AngelaVO: This is terrible, Jordan must think I am awful in bed...

Patty walks in the front door and Angela scrambles and closes the magazine.

Patty: Hi sweetie, how are you feeling today?

Angela: Ok.

Patty: How was therapy?

Angela: Ok, I guess. Do I really have to go every day?

Patty: Yes, at least for a while. What do you want for dinner?

Angela: Oh, well, whatever. Is dad working at the restaurant late?

Patty: Yeah, he will be for the next week because of the wedding next Sunday at the restaurant, and because he is taking off to pick up Danielle next Friday. It is amazing how much business they lose over one day.

Angela: Yeah, so umm, is it ok if I go to Residue practice tonight, Jordan asked if I wanted to go.

Patty: Of Course you can go, as long as you are up to it.

Angela: Yeah, I am.

Patty: Oh, Angela, I forgot, I told dad I would talk to you about this. Next Friday when Dad and I go to pick up Danielle you can either come with us or stay at Sharons. I already mentioned it to Camille and she said it was fine.

Angela: Mom! Why cant I just stay here?

Patty: Oh no, your not staying by yourself, not with everything that has happened.

Angela: I didnt mean by myself. Why cant, uh, Jordan stay with me?

Patty: No, absolutely not.

Angela: Why not?

Patty: Because, its just that, its uh, well, I dont know, but there is a good reason.

Angela: Nothing is going to happen that hasnt already happened.

Patty: I know. Its just that that is a huge step, letting him stay over here, while no one else is home. It makes me a little uncomfortable, because you are still so young, and you are growing up faster than I thought you would.

Angela: Oh.

Patty: Let me talk to daddy about it and let you know.

Angela: Ok. VO: Why is it that when your parents want you to act grown up they refer to themselves as mom or dad, but when they want to still see you as a child they call themselves mommy and daddy?

Cut to later that evening. Patty dropped Angela off at the loft, where Residue was just gathering together to practice. Angela was wearing jean shorts and a tank top with a sweatshirt over it because it was a little cool out, and so she could hide her cast easier so no one would ask her about it. Jordan just walked in a minute after she did, straight from work carrying his guitar case.

Jordan (kisses her on the cheek): Hey, Im glad youre here.

Angela: Me too.

Jordan: I brought you a bottle of water just in case you get thirsty(hands her one of the bottles he has), since there usually isnt anything here.

Angela: Thanks.

Jordan: Uh, we will probably be here at least an hour, are you going to stay the whole time?

Angela: Yeah, can you drive me home after?

Jordan: Of course. (kisses her on the lips again)

Jordan walks over to where the band is setting up. He takes his guitar out and adjusts the height of the mike. There are a few other girls there, a couple that Angela recognizes from Liberty, and the rest she didnt know. The other guys that are there are all from Liberty, and guys Jordan knew. The concert was less than two weeks away and they had all of the songs picked that they were going to sing. Unfortunately they werent allowed to sing any songs they have written because of copy write laws. Since it was an outdoor public concert anybody could sit and write down the words and then claim that they had written them. The first song that they practice is "Self Esteem" by the Offspring. They surprisingly sound decent, and are all in tune. Angela sits down on the couch and listens intently as Residue continues to practice. They are singing six songs at the concert and practiced each of them a few times. After practice is over and Jordan finished talking to the band about practicing this weekend and then everyone left to go out to Vertigo, but Jordan told them he wasnt going to go.

Angela: You know, you can go if you want to, you can just drop me off at home, and then...

Jordan (puts a finger to her lips): Shhh...I wanted to spend time with you, ok?

Angela: Ok. (Kisses him gently on the lips)

They walk over to the hammock and Jordan lays down in it first and Angela gets in next and cuddles next to Jordan. They are both lying on their sides (Angela on her right side and Jordan on his left) facing each other. Jordan takes Angelas right hand and loops his fingers with hers and kisses the top of her hand. Her broken wrist is resting on her hip gently.

Jordan: Can I, uh, ask you something, but if you dont want to talk about it you dont have to.

Angela: Sure.

Jordan: What do you, uh, talk about, in therapy?

Angela: Oh, umm, lots of stuff. Whats going on in my life, my parents, Danielle, my friends, you...

Jordan: Me?

Angela: Yeah, my therapist just wants to know about all the people in my life to, uh, help figure out why I started doing this.

Jordan: Oh.

Angela: Dont worry, I only say good things about you.

Jordan: No, its not that, its just weird knowing you talk about me.

Angela: Yeah, I guess it must be.

Jordan: So, is it strange, like talking to a complete stranger about like, your life?

Angela: It was at first, now its kind of interesting, because she can like tell me what she really thinks without being involved in any of the situations I talk about.

Jordan: Oh.

Angela (in a seductive voice): So, uh, how long (rolls so she is lying on top of Jordan) were you, uh, (kisses the side of his right eye) planning (kisses above the right corner of his mouth) on waiting, for me?

Jordan (teasing her back) Waiting for you what?

Angela: For me, to be ready again to, uh, you know.

Jordan: Oh, well, you know, whenever...

Angela kisses him passionately on the lips. Jordan holds her face in his hands and deepens their kiss. He moves his hands down the sides of Angelas body and feels her warm skin just underneath the bottom of her sweatshirt.

Jordan: Maybe, we should, uh, move to the floor.

Angela: Ok.

They get out of the hammock and move onto the floor. Jordan finds a pillow to put under Angelas head and then lies down on top of her. Angela gently touches the side of Jordans face with her right hand and pulls him closer to her to kiss him. Jordan kisses down Angelas neck and moves down and lifts her sweatshirt up and kisses her stomach passionately. He holds the sides of her waist in his hands and then unbuttons her jean shorts and kisses below her belly button. Angelas face starts to look uneasy and she becomes uncomfortable.

AngelaVO: I cant do this, I dont want Jordan to see my body like this...

Angela: Jordan, wait, stop...(Jordan doesnt stop, Angela pushes him away and sits up) Jordan, stop!

Jordan: What, whats the matter?

Angela: Nothing, I just, I...I cant do this.

Jordan: Ok, its too soon, we can wait.

Angela: No, I just cant, I...I...

Jordan: Whats going on, talk to me.

Angela (starts crying): Nothing, ok, its not your problem.

Jordan: Angela, if its your problem then it is my problem too. Why do you shut me out, why cant you just talk to me? If your not ready yet then why did you start this in the first place?

Angela: You just wouldnt understand.

Jordan: How would you know that if you dont try telling me?

Angela: Its just that, I dont want you to see me like this.

Jordan: Like what?

Angela: Like this, with my body looking like this.

Jordan: Angela, I dont care about that, I love you.

Angela: I love you too, Im just uncomfortable and cant do this yet.

Jordan: What can I do to change that?

Angela: I dont know, I just need time.

Jordan (obviously disappointed, but trying to be understanding): Ok.

Jordan drops Angela off at home and then goes home. His aunt is sitting on the couch watching TV.

Rita: Evening, how are you?

Jordan: Ok, I guess.

Rita: How is Angela doing?

Jordan: I dont know, one minute she seems better and the next it seems like she is shutting me out.

Rita: Oh, well, just give her time, this cant be easy for her.

Jordan: How long am I supposed to wait?

Rita: Wait for what? (Jordan gives her a hinting look) Oh, that, well, that depends.

Jordan: On what?

Rita: On how long you are willing to wait.

Jordan: Oh, I dont know. I love her, but I dont know what to do to get her to feel comfortable again.

Rita: Why dont you try just spending time with her, and then I am sure she will start to get back to her old self again. Its different for women, we have a lot more to think about and to worry about. She is probably just self-conscious about what happened.

Jordan: Yeah, I guess. Well, Im going to sleep. Thanks, for listening, and, uh, understanding.

Rita: Sure, anytime.

Jordan goes upstairs and lies in bed on his back with his hands behind his head.

JordanVO: So, I can wait a while, right? I mean, its not like it will be forever, just a little while....hopefully...

Cut to the following week on Tuesday at noon. Angela is going to therapy for the second week. Things were slowly progressing, and she was discovering more about why she had done this. She discussed her problem with Jordan, and her and her therapist, Kathy, were working towards her being more comfortable with her body and being able to trust herself again. Jordan had been spending more time with Angela, but just hanging out, watching movies, playing board games (Angelas idea), hanging out with her friends, going to practice, and had not even mentioned sex at all, and has also stopped staying over so late.

Kathy: Ok, Angela, last time we had stopped when you were discussing your relationship with Jordan, do you want to continue with that?

Angela: Sure. Ok, so like I told you, I told him that I just needed time, to get more comfortable with myself again, and he just accepted it. He hasnt even brought it up since then, its like he is afraid to or something.

Kathy: How does that make you feel?

Angela: Like he doesnt want me or something. Its like if he asks for it too much, then I get the feeling like that is all that he wants from me, which I know that he doesnt, and if he doesnt even mention it then I feel like he doesnt want me.

Kathy: What do you think you can do about this problem?

Angela: I dont know. I mean, I am starting to feel a little better, about my body, and I guess I am ready to be with him again like that. I just, am scared, because, the whole reason I started starving myself was because I didnt like the way I looked.

Kathy: I know this is hard, but you have to accept who you are, and how God made you. I know that you figured out that you wanted to look more like your friend Sharon or Rayanne looked, but that is just not who you are. It would be amazing if everyone could look like a model with long legs, which you are blessed which I might add, an amazing figure and big boobs, but that is what makes us all unique. There is a reason that Jordan picked you, and its because of who you are as a whole person, including the way you look. You are such a wonderful person, both inside and out. Now, I want to ask you something, and I want you to feel comfortable being honest with me.

Angela: Ok.

Kathy: Do you miss having sex with Jordan?

Angela (face turns bright red): Uh, umm, I dont know, yeah, I guess.

Kathy: Well, theres your answer. Sex is a natural thing, and you shouldnt be ashamed to fulfill your desires and what your body wants. Its ok to admit that you like having sex. Do you feel like your ready again?

Angela: Yeah, I am. I miss being with him like that.

Kathy: Good, well, I am glad that we discussed this, you are making great progress.

Angela: So, do I still have to come every day?

Kathy: Yes, at least for a little longer.

Angela: Ok. Thanks.

Kathy: Ok, I will see you tomorrow. Bye Angela.

Angela: Bye.

Cut to later that night. Angela is having dinner with her parents in the dining room.

Graham: Angela, mom and I wanted to discuss Friday night with you.

AngelaVO: Oh, great, here comes lecture time

Patty: Dad and I have decided that Jordan can stay over, but there are a few rules.

Angela (smiles): Ok.

Graham: First of all, there is absolutely no partying or alcohol allowed.

Angela: Ok.

Patty: If you go out, then we want you home by midnight, and you have to call us.

Angela: Ok.

Graham: And, we want Sharon to stay here too, we just arent comfortable with you staying alone with Jordan. Not that we dont trust you, because we do, its just that that is a really big step that we are not comfortable with you taking yet.

Angela: Why? What is the big deal?

Patty: Angela, if we let you stay here alone with Jordan then that is practically saying ok, have all the sex you want, we dont care, and we dont want you to think that.

Angela: I dont understand, I just want him to stay here with me. I just want to be able to stay at home and have my boyfriend stay with me. Mr. and Mrs. Cherski let Sharon stay alone with Kyle overnight at his house.

Patty: We do trust you, but we are just not comfortable with the thought of it. We have made our decision and that is final.

Angela (gets up and storms upstairs): Fine!

Angela goes up to her bedroom and slams the door. She calls Sharon and tells her what just happened. Sharon comes up with the perfect plan: Sharon will say that she is staying at Angelas, but really stay at one of her other friends houses. Angela thanks her, and they hang up. Just as she hangs up the phone rings again and she picks it up.

Angela: Hello.

Jordan: Hey.

Angela: Oh, hi.

Jordan: Uh, I just wanted to let you know that I cant come over for the next few nights because we are going to be practicin really late.

Angela: Oh, ok. Well, can you stay over Friday night, cause my parents are going to pick up Danielle at camp and, uh, I really want you to stay with me.

Jordan: Uh, yeah, sure. I probably wont be over until late though, we are going to be practicing after we all get off of work.

Angela: Thats ok.

Jordan: Well, I better go, we are about to start practice.

Angela: Ok, I guess I will see you tomorrow?

Jordan: Oh, right, yeah, I will pick you up after you are done.

Angela: Ok, bye.

Jordan: Bye.

Just as she hangs up Patty knocks on the door and then opens it.

Patty: Honey, look, I dont want you to be upset, Daddy and I just think that this is best. That doesnt mean that Jordan cant stay here, we would just feel more comfortable if it wasnt just the two of you.

Angela: Ok. VO: Hopefully they wont find out what is really going to happen...

Cut to Friday around 8 pm. Sharon and Angela had gone out to eat together, and then camp back to Angelas to go jogging together. At dinner Angela ordered a salad, and Sharon got the same, to make Angela feel more comfortable. They change into jogging shorts, sports bras, and tank tops. They both put their hair up in pony tails and then leave. They jog throughout the neighborhood and return an hour later. When they get back to Angelas street they run into Brian just walking out of his house, wearing khakis, a polo shirt, and a jacket.

Sharon: Whoa, where are you going all dressed up?

Brian: I, uh, have a date.

Angela: With who?

Brian: Michelle, we, uh, work together at the hospital.

Sharon: Oooh, mixing business with pleasure, you know, I didnt ever pick you for that type.

Brian: Ha ha, very funny. Well, I gotta go, otherwise, I will, uh, be late.

Angela: Have fun, bye.

Brian: Bye.

Angela and Sharon walk across the street and go into the house. They both get a glass of water in the kitchen and just as Sharon is about to start talking the doorbell rings. Angela walks to the door, water in hand, and opens it. Jordan is standing there facing the street and turns and smiles as she opens the door.

Jordan (kisses her on the lips): Hey.

Angela: Hi.

Jordan: Why are you all sweaty?

Angela (embarrassed): Uh, Sharon, and I, uh, just wend jogging. Why, do I smell bad?

Jordan (leans in and smells her neck): Yeah, you smell sweet.

Angela (teasingly pushes him): Oh shut up, I do not.

Sharon walks out of the kitchen and grabs her bag.

Sharon: Oh, hey Jordan.

Jordan: Hey.

Sharon: Well, I guess I will go. I will talk to you tomorrow.

Angela: Ok.

Sharon: I will be at Delias if you need me at all.

Angela: Ok, bye. (kisses her on the cheek)

Sharon leaves and Angela closes and locks the door.

Angela: Uh, Im going to go take a shower.

Jordan: Ok, I will just hang down here.

Angela: Ok.

Angela goes upstairs and starts showering. Downstairs Jordan flips through TV stations.

JordanVO: This is like, going to be the hardest night of my life. How can I stay here, like alone, with Angela, and not have sex. Maybe I should just, like, sleep on the couch...

AngelaVO (in the shower): Ok, I can do this. I just need to take control of the situation. God, I am acting like we havent ever done it before...

Angela gets out of the shower, dries off, and puts on a tank top and boxers, with her hair still wet. She walks downstairs and Jordan shuts off the TV and stands up facing her.

JordanVO: God, why does she have to look so beautiful and irresistible. (out loud) So, uh, what do you want to do?

Angela: Oh, I was, uh going to go have some strawberries, and uh, (changing her tone to sexy) cool whip, do you want some?

Jordan: Nah, thats ok.

Jordan follows Angela in the kitchen as she takes out the strawberries and opens the cool whip container and dips a strawberry into the cool whip and takes a slow bite. She gets cool whip on her finger and licks it off.

JordanVO: This is torture! Doesnt she know how much of a turn on that is?

Angela (puts cool whip on her finger and tempts Jordan with it): Are you sure you, uh, dont want a taste?

JordanVO: This is too much, I have to get out of here. (out loud) I, uh, think it is going to rain, I have to, uh, go put the top up on the car. (thunder)

Angela: Is something wrong?

Jordan walks out of the house and Angela follows him, she stops on the front steps and watches him start the car and put the top up. Just as the top goes up it starts to downpour. Angela gets wet again and stands underneath the porch overhang. Jordan runs back towards Angela and gets soaking wet. They run into the house dripping water everywhere. Angela locks the front door and they both stand there laughing. (soft thunder and lightning)

Angela: We should probably change.

Jordan: Yeah.

They walk towards the stairs and a huge crack of thunder roars and the lights flicker and the power goes out. The house goes pitch black. Angela jumps at the sound of the thunder and Jordan grabs her shoulders, a little scared himself.

Angela: Oh my God.

Jordan: What do we do now?

Angela: Wait here, there are some candles in the kitchen.

Jordan: Ok.

Angela slowly feels her way into the kitchen, finds the candles, and places them on the counter as she uses a match to light them.

Angela: Ok, the candles are lit. Why dont you wait in here while I go find more candles.

Jordan walks into the kitchen and sees Angela standing there holding one of the candles in her right hand. She has pieces of wet hair in her face and one of her tank top straps has fallen off. Her tank top is plastered to her body, revealing her excitement. Angela stares into Jordans eyes, sets down the candle and walks towards him slowly. Without saying a word she grabs the back of his neck with her right hand and forcefully kisses him. Their kiss deepens as Jordan holds Angelas face in his hands directing the kiss.

Jordan (pulls away): Wait, uh, I dont want to start anything that were not going to finish. I want you to make sure you are ready again.

Angela ignores what he says, sits on the counter, and pulls him towards her so he is standing in between her legs. Angela touches the side of his face with her right hand and looks into his eyes. She kisses him gently on the lips and forces her tongue in his mouth. Jordan tightly wraps his arms around her body and pulls her close to him so their wet clothes squish together.

Angela (as Jordan kisses down her neck): I want you so much...

Jordan lifts her up and carries her onto the kitchen table and lays her down.

Angela: Wait, not here.

She gets up and gets onto the cold kitchen floor and pulls Jordan down with her. Thunder cracks outside and lightning illuminates the sky as Jordan lies down on top of Angela. He kisses her moist neck. He arouses her by licking the nape of her neck and Angela moans in pleasure. Angela kisses him on the lips and finishes by sucking on his bottom lip which drives him crazy. The cool whip container (which was on the counter where Angela was sitting) is right on the edge and crashes onto the floor as the thunder outside crackles, sending cool whip flying. Angela gets some on her cheek and Jordan on his shirt, and they both get it in their hair. They start laughing and Jordan leans in and wipes it off her face with his forefinger and gives it to Angela to lick off. Angela licks it off his finger slowly and sucks on the end of his finger. Then she takes some cool whip in her hand from the container and smears it across his mouth. The both crack up from laughter and Angela kisses his lips, making a mess of them. Angela wipes it off his chin with her right middle finger and Jordan takes her finger in his hand and puts her whole finger in his mouth and sucks it off. While her finger is still in his mouth she lures his face closer to hers and French kisses him as her finger slides out of his mouth. Things rapidly heat up and Angela urgently pulls off Jordans wet shirt, revealing his wet chest. She sits up and unzips his jeans and he stands up to take them off, along with his socks, and then kneels back down in front of her. He pulls her wet tank top over her head and she lies back down with her back pressed against the cold kitchen floor. While he is still kneeling in between her spread bent legs, he lifts them up so each one is resting on one of his shoulders. She lifts her butt up as he pulls off her boxers and then her underwear. He puts her legs back down and Angela sits up and inches his boxers down his waist revealing his hard dick. He pulls them off all the way and lies down on top of Angela, their wet skin pressed together and his hair dripping on her neck. He spreads her legs wider and forces himself inside her as if they cant go fast enough.

Angela: Ahhh...

Jordan: Ohhh...

Thunder roars outside as Jordan begins thrusting his body in Angela. Their bodies rock together in a smooth intermediate motion. Jordan looks into Angelas eyes, kisses her lips, and then pulls away.

Jordan: Your so beautiful, I love you...

Angela: I love you too...

They both continue to move together as they lean in to kiss. Angela lifts her head up as their lips meet and then pulls away and arches her back in ecstasy. Jordan places one of his hands underneath her back as she arches it and moves faster.

Angela: Ohhh, deeper...

Jordan slows down and when he thrusts his dick in her he pushes it deeper and holds it there for a second before pulling back again.

Jordan: Oh, this is so amazing, I am almost there (moans) Mmmm...

Angela: Oh, God, oh that feels good...Ahhh...

Jordan gets on his knees still inside her and lifts her butt. She wraps her arms around him and he carries her over to the kitchen table and lays her down. Angela doesnt care at this point and wraps her legs around his waist. He begins to thrust his body faster as the both breath heavy. Jordan leans in and kisses from her breast down to her stomach. Angelas pleasure deepens and she arches her back again and bends her legs and places her feet on the edge of the table, one on either side of Jordans waist. He grabs her knees to push himself deeper inside her as thunder shakes the house.

Angela: Oh, oh, Im c..o..m..i..n..g...Ahhh...

Jordan (moans): Me...too...Ahhhh...

Angela squeezes her knees as she lifts herself up and they both climax together. They meet in a passionate kiss as Jordan wraps his arms around her body and lays them back down on the floor. Angela lies on her back and Jordan on his side, partially on top of her. He kisses her on the shoulder and then up her neck to her lips as he gently caresses her stomach.

Jordan: That was amazing. I missed you.

Angela: Im right here.

Jordan: I know, but its like your really here, with me.

They rest for a few minutes and then find their way upstairs with the candles. They go into the bathroom and rinse out the cool whip from their hair. Angela goes into her bedroom and puts a long t-shirt on, and Jordan follows her and gets into her bed. He lies there naked, because all of his clothes are wet.

Angela: Uh, do you want me to try and find something that would fit you?

Jordan: No, its ok, youll keep me warm, right?

Angela (blushes): Uh, yeah.

Jordan: Come here...

Angela walks over to the bed and climbs in next to Jordan, sitting and facing him. He leans over and gently grabs the back of her neck and kisses her. She kisses him deeper as she crawls on top of him, lying on his chest. They break apart and she rests the side of her head down on his chest, listening to his heart beat. He runs his fingers through her wet hair and kisses the top of her head.

Angela: I love you...

Jordan: I love you too...

Fade out to black...

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“And, you know, with your hair like that? It hurts to look at you.”

Rayanne Graff, Episode 1: "My So-Called Life (Pilot)"