Future Fan Fic Project?

Discussion and questions about the FanFiction section of MSCL.com. You can also post excerpts of your unfinished stories here if you're looking for feedback or ideas.
User avatar
lithiumkat
Three Rivers Resident
Posts: 62
Joined: Apr 11th 2003, 5:51 am
Location: Missouri, USA
Contact:

Post by lithiumkat » Jul 20th 2003, 12:13 am

*notes that the last scene makes Rayannes future self realistic to the teenage Rayanne in that it seems she would always have problems with the temptation of going tack to drinking and deal with alcoholism problems her whole life...breaks my heart*
"people always say how you should be yourself, like yourself is this definite thing...like a toaster or something, like you can know what it is even."

User avatar
TomSpeed
Marshall Wannabe
Posts: 1226
Joined: Jan 13th 2003, 3:37 pm
Location: Tampa, FL, USA
Contact:

Post by TomSpeed » Jul 24th 2003, 10:42 pm

Part Twenty-Six – Early Feedback


Location: Brian’s apartment, the next evening. Angela and Brian are sitting on the couch. Brian is massaging Angela’s neck and shoulders.

Angela – It’s not as if I didn’t expect rejection, but it’s still hard to take. Six publishers have already rejected my novel. One of them passed two days after he received it. Talk about your quick responses.

Brian – What does your agent, Cliff, say about what’s going on?

Angela – Man, that feels good. [pause] He says not to worry about it. It’s a damn fine book. Half of the publishers wouldn’t know a good book if it bit them. Of course, he has to say things like that. I’m starting to think I’ve been lucky to have had anything published.

Brian – You’re a very talented writer. Don’t sell yourself short like that. I read your article on Welty. You showed great insight into her work.

Angela – You’ve read Welty?

Brian – I’ve been known to pick up a book or two.

Angela – Well, it’s a lot easier to write someone else’s work than to have people tell you that your writing isn’t any good.

(Angela gets up from the couch. She walks a few steps away and turns to face Brian.)

Angela – I hate putting myself out there for people to judge. But I have all of these stories that need to be told. It’s not a good position to be in – opening myself up to rejection. I’m in those pages. They are rejecting me.

Brian – You shouldn’t get discouraged. So, six people don’t know what they are talking about. Big deal.

(Angela turns away from Brian. She walks around the room. She stops in front of a large oval mirror on the opposite wall. Brian rises from the couch and stands behind her. Both of them are in the mirror.)

Angela – But look at me, Brian. Do I look like a writer?

(Brian reaches out to Angela. His fingers glide along her torso.)

Angela VO* -- Shiver.

(Brian’s hands rest on Angela’s hips.)

Brian – Yes, you do.

[The telephone rings.]

Angela – Do you want to answer it?

Brian – Let the machine answer. I’m sure it’s probably Tom. He wants me to do all of his prep work for this weekend.

[The machine answers.]

Rayanne – [from the answering machine] Brian, you should really look into getting an unlisted telephone number. Angela, pick up.

Angela – I got it.

(Angela walks over to the telephone.)

Angela – Hey, Rayanne.

Rayanne – You are coming this weekend, right?

Angela – Sure, Brian and I are flying up Friday afternoon.

(Brian picks up a book from the coffee table. He waves to Angela. She waves back. He goes to his bedroom and shuts the door.)


*****

Everything I write after spending some time away from the story always seems a little shaky. I'm not sure if this scene works or not. I understand that an agent is a good thing to have if you are a writer. I guess an agent might have some contacts at publishers, who could let them know pretty quickly if a book's going to accepted or not. I don't like guessing at plot points, but I need to set some roadblocks for Angela to stumble over. I like the dovetailing of Rayanne and Angela's situations. I also like using "shiver" as a one word voiceover. There are good shivers and bad shivers. I can always save this scene for later. But it seems to fit here at the moment.
Last edited by TomSpeed on Aug 29th 2004, 10:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
TomSpeed

Patty: If Rayanne's not seeing you, and we're not seeing you, who is seeing you?
Graham: And how much of you?
Angela: Dad!
Graham: Oh, I'm sorry! I asked a question about your life, didn't I? Woah, what came over me?
http://www.last.fm/user/TomSpeed/

User avatar
TomSpeed
Marshall Wannabe
Posts: 1226
Joined: Jan 13th 2003, 3:37 pm
Location: Tampa, FL, USA
Contact:

Post by TomSpeed » Jul 27th 2003, 7:52 pm

Part Twenty-Seven -- A Couple?


Location: Brian’s bedroom, later in the evening. Brian is lying on the bed, his head resting on a pillow against the headboard. He’s reading a book. Angela enters the bedroom.

Angela [while walking across the room and sitting on the other side of the bed] – I’m sorry that took so long.

(Brian sets the book on the nightstand. The book is The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty by A. N. Roquelaure (AKA Anne Rice).

Brian – How is Rayanne doing?

(Angela rearranges pillows to make herself more comfortable. Brian moves lower on the bed. They face each other.)

Angela – She’s really nervous about the play. She didn’t want to admit it at first. But I was able to get her to talk about what was bothering her.

Brian – Why is she nervous? I remember her acting in high school. She was pretty good.

Angela – She is a good actress. But she’s still afraid of failing. She says that acting drives her crazy.

Brian – Why does she still do it?

Angela – It makes her feel alive.

Brian – I can relate to that.

Angela – So can I. Writing makes me feel the same way. Although, it still bothers me that no one seems to want to want to publish my damn book.

Brian – Someone will publish it.

Angela – How can you be so sure?

Brian – I just have a good feeling about it.

Angela – It’s funny that you said that.

Brian – Why? Don’t you think your book will be published?

Angela – I don’t know if it will get published. But I do know that you and Rayanne have something in common.

Brian – What could Rayanne and I possibly have in common?

(Angela leans closer to Brian.)

Angela – Rayanne thinks that you and I are going to make a great couple.

Brian – Why does she think that?

Angela – She just has a good feeling about us.

Brian – I like the sound of that. [pause] I have always liked Rayanne. She’s a good judge of people.

Angela – Brian, have we reached a point in our relationship to be called a couple?

Angela VO* -- That complicated little word bounces around in my head like a ball. Am I ready to catch it? Do I want to catch it? What answer do I want to hear?

Brian – Good question. I’ve thought about it quite a bit. It might be helpful if we took the time to consider the pluses and minuses of putting a label on our relationship. We spend lots of time together…

Angela VO* -- While listening to Brian, I am transported over ten years into the past. Here we are now, just as we were then. We’re standing on the edge of something. There’s no one between us. Are we going to take the next step?

Brian – So in one way, it makes perfect sense for us to call ourselves a couple. But I don’t want you to feel confined in any way whatsoever. I want what you want. I don’t want to get in the way of anything you might have planned for yourself. Because –

(Angela pokes Brian on his chest. Brian stops talking.)

Angela – So, you think we can safely be called a couple?

Brian – Yes, I think people can safely refer to us as a couple.

Angela – In my humble opinion, people can’t go wrong by classifying us as a couple, too.

Brian – Does this mean we're going steady?

Angela – Yes, I think it does. You don’t have to give me your class ring or pin anything to me.

Brian – That’s good. I’m fresh out of pins.


*****

It's kind of awkward having characters separated like mine our in this story. How exciting is showing people talking on the telephone again and again? So, I tried something different in this scene. We don't hear
Angela and Rayanne's conversation. We hear about it. Maybe this makes a difference.

It's sometimes difficult to describe adult romantic relationships. Angela and Brian seem to be in an in between stage. They are not casually dating. They aren't living together. They aren't engaged. People who see them together would probably think that they are a couple. The question is, I think, whether or not they consider themselves a couple. Are they brave enough to claim each other in some way?

I'm not sure if I should comment on the book Brian is reading. I debated many different titles. This book probably implies what Brian is thinking about. I wonder if Angela has noticed what book Brian is reading. Of course, this might be just a tad bit too cute for it's own good.

Edit: Now that I think about it, the book might also tie into the series (Angela's "A Fable" from "The Substitute.") This might be stretching logic a bit. But it makes twisted sense to me. I thought about having them discuss the book. But in the end I decided to leave interpreting the meaning of the book up to the viewer.
Last edited by TomSpeed on Aug 29th 2004, 10:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.
TomSpeed

Patty: If Rayanne's not seeing you, and we're not seeing you, who is seeing you?
Graham: And how much of you?
Angela: Dad!
Graham: Oh, I'm sorry! I asked a question about your life, didn't I? Woah, what came over me?
http://www.last.fm/user/TomSpeed/

User avatar
TomSpeed
Marshall Wannabe
Posts: 1226
Joined: Jan 13th 2003, 3:37 pm
Location: Tampa, FL, USA
Contact:

Post by TomSpeed » Jul 29th 2003, 5:51 pm

I'm preparing to bring this bad boy to a close. I've printed everything. The next step will be reading for continuity of story and typos. After that, I'm going to map out the concluding scenes and write them. I'm thinking about writing another scene that involves all of the characters in a long conversation taking place in different locations. We'll see. Thanks to all who have checked out the story from time to time.
TomSpeed

Patty: If Rayanne's not seeing you, and we're not seeing you, who is seeing you?
Graham: And how much of you?
Angela: Dad!
Graham: Oh, I'm sorry! I asked a question about your life, didn't I? Woah, what came over me?
http://www.last.fm/user/TomSpeed/

User avatar
TomSpeed
Marshall Wannabe
Posts: 1226
Joined: Jan 13th 2003, 3:37 pm
Location: Tampa, FL, USA
Contact:

Post by TomSpeed » Jul 29th 2003, 8:43 pm

I have completed the first reading of what I've written so far. For all of my bitching and moaning, the story holds up. I found a couple mistakes that I'm going to edit. But it really seems to work. I really like how Rayanne has taken shape.

I might revisit the subplot involving Joyce, Brian's deceased girlfriend. Originally, I had intended her to die on 09/11. The stories the people of NYC tell of what happened during that day are quite moving. That was part of the reason I sent Brian to Columbia. But I don't want to seem like I'm taking what happened lightly or comercializing a tragic event. Also, the story reads well as I've written it. The idea that Brian had a full relationship with a woman other than Angela -- that if things turned out a little differently he would never have become reinvolved with Angela -- is powerful. Changing things now would require lots of rewriting.

Anyway, I'm going to work on editing what I have written so far. Then, it's on to the finish.

Future episodes are possible. But I haven't committed myself to writing them. There's so much more I could write about.
TomSpeed

Patty: If Rayanne's not seeing you, and we're not seeing you, who is seeing you?
Graham: And how much of you?
Angela: Dad!
Graham: Oh, I'm sorry! I asked a question about your life, didn't I? Woah, what came over me?
http://www.last.fm/user/TomSpeed/

User avatar
grim4746
Krakow
Posts: 391
Joined: Aug 8th 1999, 2:14 am
Location: Canada

Post by grim4746 » Aug 10th 2003, 5:33 pm

I've enjoyed your writing so far. You've had quite a challenge with having the cast of characters separated geographically and being out of school not having the common ground to keep them a cohesive group. But I guess that's a challenge that faces real groups of people too. I think you are doing a good job of giving each character presence while still having clear focus on Angela and Brian throughout the episode. I think that your adult versions of the characters are believable and satisfying at least to this mscl fan. I'm not too crazy about Sharon or Ricki in your stories so far but I'm not sure that I'd enjoy any adult version of either of them. Rickie as a priest is something I would never have considered but does not seem untrue to the character. Sharon has just been blah so far (arguably she always was) but I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt, you haven't had much room to develop her so far. I'm curious about whether or not her pregnancy will go okay (should you choose to write more, I'd enjoy it if you did). Sharon in tragedy is more interesting to me. Plus tragic events might lead her to reevaluate things and give more layers to her personality. I really like what you've done so far with Danielle, it's been simple but she seems like a partially opened can of worms and they are slowly squirming out. Maybe I"m reading into things that aren't there but you have me intrigued. Good luck. You've done a great job. I look forward to reading more or at least a complete version of this story on the fanfiction section here.

User avatar
TomSpeed
Marshall Wannabe
Posts: 1226
Joined: Jan 13th 2003, 3:37 pm
Location: Tampa, FL, USA
Contact:

Post by TomSpeed » Aug 11th 2003, 10:10 am

My writing has been a little hampered by my home computer dying. I'm pretty sure the hard drive has finally failed. I'm not sure how long it will be until I can afford a new computer. Hopefully, it will be no more than a month or two. I might be able to write a little at work. But I've been pretty busy lately.

I appreciate your comments. I will probably revise the story to do more with the other characters. One concern I've had is not to detract too much from the core of the story, which is the Angela and Brian relationship. However, the other subplots need more meat.
TomSpeed

Patty: If Rayanne's not seeing you, and we're not seeing you, who is seeing you?
Graham: And how much of you?
Angela: Dad!
Graham: Oh, I'm sorry! I asked a question about your life, didn't I? Woah, what came over me?
http://www.last.fm/user/TomSpeed/

User avatar
lithiumkat
Three Rivers Resident
Posts: 62
Joined: Apr 11th 2003, 5:51 am
Location: Missouri, USA
Contact:

its me yet again.

Post by lithiumkat » Aug 14th 2003, 2:14 am

I always stalk this story ;) i cant help it. i like it. can't wait for the "wrapped up" version/ending of it. It will probably be awhile after you get it up that i see it though, i moved and am going to be attending college and so i do not have a computer at home to visit every night, the puter is my parents ;) but the next time i am here (at a friends) or when i go to the library, i must remember to peek in and see if it is there, whether you feel like it "sucks" or not i think you have done a wonderful job, i'll agree the rickie/priest thing caught me very offguard but again it was not out of charachter, just unexpected...for me anyway, but i feel you've done an amazing job in charachter developement and story developement, i have been intrigued though the whole thing, i also totally understand about why you have had less of sharon/rickie/jordan and minimal of rayanne/graham etc etc and mainly focused on angela/brian, that was the main focus of this story as you've said and a good one at that, its funny how when i was younger i never wanted a brian/angela thing to happen, but i never saw resolutions until much more recently the past year or whatever when i've gotten the boxed set...after seeing that and rewatching all the old episodes i saw when i was much younger, i am now very much a fan of the brian/angela hookup that is my major...um wish or idea involving the charachters and whati would like to happen or see happen or see happening in the future. so this story was a natural winner for me from the getgo. well alright i've rambled and seemingly asskissed enough (although i swear its not really asskissing i really do like it, i'm not like sucking up i'm really truly amazed by your story here) and its late and i need sleep for the trip home tomorrow since i'll be driving back, but *sighs* i will try to pop in the forums more at home at the library because i have computer priveledges that i just haven't explored yet...so...i'll have to keep in touch w/ the forums! i've missed them, and i'll have to sit in my boredom and loneliness and rewatch all my mscl episodes for like the hundreth time each to comfort and entertain myself ;) keep it up tomspeed your stories are amazing!!!
"people always say how you should be yourself, like yourself is this definite thing...like a toaster or something, like you can know what it is even."

User avatar
grim4746
Krakow
Posts: 391
Joined: Aug 8th 1999, 2:14 am
Location: Canada

Post by grim4746 » Aug 14th 2003, 10:55 am

I agree with lithiumkat about Angela and Brian. When I was younger I thought it would be sweet if they got together in a root for the underdog sort of way but I mainly wanted Angela's dreams to come true thus for her to be with Jordan. Now I'm more cynical (or less naive) and I'm pretty sure most dreams can't come true and those that can aren't going to be delievered by Jordan Catalano. I'm not sure exactly when I changed my mind but I have no interest in a continuing relationship between Angela and Jordan. I think that a Brian/Angela pairing is difficult to execute and bring about in a believable way. Tomspeed has done a good job layering their history with years of flashbacks. the fanfiction I've read that have Angela and Brian getting together in High school have not satisfied me. Leaving me to wonder if such a pairing would have been possible at all. I think I'll go read some threads on this topic and try to make up my mind. I'm always changing my mind about almost every aspect of the show. I can't decide what I like about the characters and what I dislike. I'm always back and forth about what I think would be possible in the fictional future.

Nik
Liberty High Student
Posts: 34
Joined: Aug 15th 2003, 4:15 pm
Location: Portland, OR

Post by Nik » Sep 3rd 2003, 8:23 pm

I always stalk this story i cant help it. i like it. can't wait for the "wrapped up" version/ending of it.
Me too!

How's it going Tomspeed?? Anything new in the future? :lol:
Nik

“Well, I guess it depends on how-- badly you need wallpaper”
“I would say pretty badly”

User avatar
TomSpeed
Marshall Wannabe
Posts: 1226
Joined: Jan 13th 2003, 3:37 pm
Location: Tampa, FL, USA
Contact:

Post by TomSpeed » Sep 3rd 2003, 8:29 pm

I finally replaced my home computer. Now all I need to do is get back into the swing of writing. I have some ideas. New stuff should be posted soon. :-P
TomSpeed

Patty: If Rayanne's not seeing you, and we're not seeing you, who is seeing you?
Graham: And how much of you?
Angela: Dad!
Graham: Oh, I'm sorry! I asked a question about your life, didn't I? Woah, what came over me?
http://www.last.fm/user/TomSpeed/

User avatar
TomSpeed
Marshall Wannabe
Posts: 1226
Joined: Jan 13th 2003, 3:37 pm
Location: Tampa, FL, USA
Contact:

Post by TomSpeed » Sep 9th 2003, 10:27 pm

I haven't written anything for awhile. Finally, I just sat down at the computer and tonight and thought of this scene. I have a few other ideas rambling around, but I still don't have any concrete ideas about Sharon, who I feel needs to be brought back into the story at this point.

This scene might rely too heavily on the plot of "Other People's Mothers." But I think it brings some good insights into the relationship between Amber and Rayanne. Of course, my writing in this scene seems a little obvious, but I'm a little rusty.


*****


Part Twenty-Eight – Amber’s Plans


Location: Rayanne’s apartment, late afternoon. Rayanne and Amber are sitting at a table in a small kitchen. Nathan is playing with toy cars on the floor.

Rayanne – You don’t have to rearrange your schedule to see the play.

Amber – Honey, I already have everything set up. I have tomorrow night off. I’m going in Saturday night. I want to see your play. You’ve been working really hard. I want to see you do something you enjoy doing. Don’t you want me to go?

(Rayanne leaves the table.)

Rayanne [to Nathan] – Do you want some juice, baby?

Nathan – Yes, please.

(Rayanne walks to the cabinet. She gets two glasses. She sets them on the table and pours the orange juice. She gives a glass to Nathan.)

Amber – Is that it? You don’t want me to go? You didn’t even tell me about your last play. I read about it in the paper.

(Rayanne walks over to a window. She turns to face Amber.)

Rayanne – It’s not that I don’t want you to go. I just didn’t think you would be interested in going.

(Amber leaves the table. She walks over to Rayanne. She places her hands on Rayanne’s shoulders.)

Amber – Why wouldn’t I be interested in something my daughter is doing?

(Amber squeezes Rayanne’s shoulders and removes her hands.)

Rayanne – You’ll be bored.

Amber – No, I won’t be bored.

Rayanne – Patty will be there.

Amber – I [pause] like Patty.

Rayanne – Sure, you do.

Amber – Is Angela going to be there?

Rayanne – Yes.

Amber – Well, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen her.

(Rayanne looks at Nathan, who has returned to his cars.)

Rayanne – I might S-U-C-K. I don’t want you to see me embarrass myself.

Amber – You aren’t going to embarrass yourself. As a matter of fact, I think you are going to do a great job.

Rayanne – Did your tarot cards tell you that?

Amber – Don’t be a B-I-T-C-H. I have faith in you Ray Ray. I know you will knock everybody right out of the theater.

Rayanne – Yea, they will be laughing so hard, they will be rolling right out the door.
Last edited by TomSpeed on Aug 29th 2004, 10:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
TomSpeed

Patty: If Rayanne's not seeing you, and we're not seeing you, who is seeing you?
Graham: And how much of you?
Angela: Dad!
Graham: Oh, I'm sorry! I asked a question about your life, didn't I? Woah, what came over me?
http://www.last.fm/user/TomSpeed/

User avatar
Natasha (candygirl)
MSCL.com Team
MSCL.com Team
Posts: 5374
Joined: Dec 7th 2001, 3:05 am
Location: California

Post by Natasha (candygirl) » Sep 9th 2003, 10:59 pm

TomSpeed wrote:Amber – Don’t be a B-I-T-C-H.
You know, I see that and all I can think of is:
WILLOW: That's what it was! I mean, why else would she be acting like such a b-i-t-c-h?

GILES: Willow, I think we're all a little too old to be spelling things out.

XANDER: A bitca?
Natasha aka candygirl :: MSCL.com

Look, if this is weird for you, being tutored? I don't mind helping you a little longer.
You could have sex with me if you really want to help...I guess that's a "no"?

User avatar
TomSpeed
Marshall Wannabe
Posts: 1226
Joined: Jan 13th 2003, 3:37 pm
Location: Tampa, FL, USA
Contact:

Post by TomSpeed » Sep 27th 2003, 11:50 pm

Here's another example of forced writing. I swear that I have to practically tie myself to my chair to get anything written. I'm trying to flesh out some earlier plot points in this scene.

*****

Part Twenty-Nine – Going to New York


Location: Chase house, early evening. Graham and Patty are preparing dinner.

Patty – I called Veronica this afternoon.

Graham – Veronica?

Patty – Veronica Newberry. She was one of my best friends in high school. You met her at the last reunion.

(Graham closes the oven door. He looks at Patty for a couple of seconds.)

Graham – Let’s see. Short, red hair with streaks of gray, [pause] nice legs…

(Patty pops Graham with a wound towel.)

Graham – Ow! Hey, you are the one who brought this woman up, not me.

Patty – You have a keen memory about certain things.

Graham – I try. Didn’t she say that she works for a publisher in New York?

Patty – Yes, she did. She said today that she wouldn’t mind if I went there to pick her brains about publishing.

Graham – So, you are serious about this publishing thing?

Patty – It’s not a thing. It is an avocation I’m interested in pursuing. I haven’t decided to do anything yet except explore the possibilities.

Graham – Veronica is going to help you explore those possibilities?

Patty – She is in the business. Who better to ask?

Graham – When are you planning to go?

Patty – Who said I’ve made plans yet?

Graham – Come one, Patty, I bet you’ve already bought your plane ticket.

Patty – Actually, I bought two tickets.

Graham – Oh no, I can’t go to New York.

Patty – Yes, you can.

Graham – Have you forgotten that I own a restaurant? I just can’t leave on a whim. Somebody has to be responsible.

Patty – We’re not leaving for two weeks. (Patty approaches Graham. She puts her hands on his shoulders.) That gives you plenty of time to get everything into place so that the restaurant can run without you for a few days.

Graham – A few days? I can’t leave town for a few days. There’s no way that I can do it.

Patty – We’ve gone out of town for a few days before. The restaurant managed to survive. Plus, think of you and me set loose on the streets of New York. We’ll have a great time. (Patty drops her hands.)

Graham – You’ll be learning the tricks of publishing while I’m sitting in a hotel room all day staring at the walls. What am I going to do while you’re working?

(Danielle enters the kitchen door.)

Danielle – Dad, I have great news. The Pirates are playing the Mets in a couple weeks. I have tickets for all three days.

Graham – Why do I feel like I’m in the middle of a conspiracy movie all of a sudden?

Patty – There’s no need to thank us, yet.

Graham – I’m always the last to know.

Danielle – Yes, you are. But the bonus is that you get to spend some quality time with your favorite daughter.
Last edited by TomSpeed on Aug 29th 2004, 10:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.
TomSpeed

Patty: If Rayanne's not seeing you, and we're not seeing you, who is seeing you?
Graham: And how much of you?
Angela: Dad!
Graham: Oh, I'm sorry! I asked a question about your life, didn't I? Woah, what came over me?
http://www.last.fm/user/TomSpeed/

User avatar
TomSpeed
Marshall Wannabe
Posts: 1226
Joined: Jan 13th 2003, 3:37 pm
Location: Tampa, FL, USA
Contact:

Post by TomSpeed » Oct 20th 2003, 11:07 pm

I've totally let this story slide. I've thought about it off and on, but no ideas I've come up with seem to fit. They have been too much been there, done that. I'll tie myself to the computer this week. We'll see what happens.
TomSpeed

Patty: If Rayanne's not seeing you, and we're not seeing you, who is seeing you?
Graham: And how much of you?
Angela: Dad!
Graham: Oh, I'm sorry! I asked a question about your life, didn't I? Woah, what came over me?
http://www.last.fm/user/TomSpeed/

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests