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" Beautiful Flowers" pt1 * i guess

Posted: Nov 26th 2004, 9:13 am
by Alaster
(OK so i'm back and I've finished beautiful flowers, and I sorta like it, so thats why I made a part one because the way it ends it needs like a sequel if not to end the seris than to end just this episode ! So in a way I'm not done, and sadly I must feel that I just threw in Ricky and Rayanne but they will return in Pt 2, and sadly it feels a bit chopy, but eh, here it is I hope this satisfies. Please Gimme Feed Back. and Now I give you All (sorta) of Beautiful flowers)

MSCL: beautiful flowers


My So called Life
Beautiful flowers.


Angela Chase couldn’t believe herself, not only was she locked in a car with Jordan Catalano, she had left Brian Krakow alone, sitting on his bicycle. It looked like he was about to cry, I should have said something. I probably needed to stay with him, I mean making Brian Krakow cry is like hurting a wounded puppy, its sick and wrong, and when or if you do it, you feel like dying yourself.

“ Angela… I wanted to talk to you about, the uh note, Brain, Bryan, Brian wrote it for me, he’s a real nice guy, I just wanted to tell you, um, like I sorta love you Angela.”
She had frozen in her place, no longer was she writhing in her seat trying to adjust herself. “ Jordan, that’s , that’s sweet, and if you told me that two seconds ago, I would, I don’t know, that’s just my answer… it’s just like really bad timing…”
Somewhere, a police light was flashing. It bothered me, it was almost crazy, it was almost like the flash was like everything that me and Jordan had gone through, it started and stopped, it began and ended, just so it would start again.
Jordan sighed just a little bit, he gripped the steering wheel tightly and started around the corner...

Patty and Graham Chase were sitting in the kitchen, Patty was donned in a blue floral print dress, she had received flowers the previous morning, she had neglected to tell Graham, They were waiting on the girls, Graham was creating some culinary delight that Patty may dine on later. Patty was racked with guilt, why did she not tell him about the flowers? They were just flowers, they could have been from Angela or Danielle or even Graham. But she knew that they were not, she touched her hair and retreated to the living room to take a nap, Angela had stormed into the room at that precise moment, Patty whirled her head in her direction as Graham came out from the kitchen. “ Where have you been?” asked Patty, Angela nodded slightly “ I was with Brian Krakow “ she lied at this point only so that the issue of her being with Jordan Catalano would not be brought up. The simple fact was that if she was ever with Brian Krakow that she would want to hold him with a passion, either from love or kindness, she would hold him.
I mean he told me he wanted to hold me and touch me, be with me, it didn’t feel obsessive when it was Jordan’s voice it was so romantic. When it was with Krakow’s voice it seemed romantic but crazier, not crazy just strange, like it didn’t fit somehow, like it just didn’t somehow.

Ricky Vazquez was sitting alone in his thinning brown trench coat, he was watching television outside of a department store, Delia Fisher felt that he was gay, so he supposed he was gay, he always felt weird but never really acted on his feelings.
He’d never really been with anybody, and last night he’d sent flowers to the Chase house, maybe he had lost it. He touched the edge of his hat and sighed, it was getting cold for such a spring morning. He had been holding up at the house of Mr. Katimski, the English teacher that had inspired him with a passion. Katimski had this light around him, he was so scatterbrained and so frazzled that you didn’t notice the light that often, but it had always been there, shining, glistening. He lived with this man, this odd loving man, he didn’t know who this man was other than a friend. An old college roommate maybe? Ricky didn’t know, but he had his guesses. ‘Maybe’ he thought to himself, ‘ what Delia Fisher guessed about me is what is like seriously going on with Mr. Katimski.’ He thought this to himself as he stared at the television, he was on his way back to the apartment with some groceries to make pancakes and he had gotten side tracked.
“ RICKEY!” he heard someone yell as he looked back, it was Rayanne Graph, his sorta best friend, she had had some alcohol issues but he was forgiving. Rayanne ran up to him and wrapped her arms around his narrow frame. Rayanne smiled softly, “ So like Amber wants to have you over for dinner tonight, you know like if you wanted to or something.” Ricky was a little bit dazed as he stammered out an answer. “ Um, I don’t know I would have to clear it with Katimski, you know I’m staying with him now, so like yeah, I’ll check, I’ll call you later k ? “ the light that glimmered in Rayanne’s eyes began to fade as the she heard the words drip from his lips. “ Yeah, like yeah, I’ll see you later” she said, backing away slowly, turning, her wool jacked pulled over her slightly, she gave a small smile and wave as she walked away and around the corner. Ricky looked away and sighed just a bit. He turned and walked the corner, mostly because he had to get the groceries to Katimski but also because he felt a little weird bumping into Rayanne like that, he walked off as the street light changed.

Angela was sitting on the steps by on the porch of her home, she was half waiting for Bryan Krakow to stop by and half waiting to see Jordan Catalano. What had happened between the three of us, it was weird, but I didn’t want to like do anything. Krakow was riding his bike around the corner, he was always doing that sort of thing, so it wasn’t weird or anything when he like flashed by my house. Only it was more of a drive by staring… “ Analyze everything until it barely exist..” she said remembering something as she sighed slightly.
She gathered her things and went into her house, watching Bryan Krakow writhe was too painful for her to watch. She got up and started to walk to her inside, by this time Bryan Krakow had stopped, “An.”, she turned around, but he was gone, she knew he was going to say something but she really couldn’t deal with that fact. She had made a habit of either two things: escaping upstairs to listen to the cranberries, or calling Karen.
Her mind swirled just a little bit, the thoughts of Jordan Catalano began to recollect themselves. It started with the way he leaned, which was mixed in with the note, then ‘I called her red’, which swirled between a Buffalo Tom concert, a couple of kisses in the boiler room and the driving lessons. That brought her to a stop as she heard her parents talking about the restaurant, again. Which all that led to the last note: the note that started this love triangle.
Residue was going to be playing tonight, or had they moved back to Frozen Embryo, she wasn’t sure as she moved up the stairwell and into her room. She picked up a deck of tarot cards, she hadn’t touched them in a while, so she decided to shuffle them about just a little bit. “ Out of darkness hope is born” she said this out loud. She had almost forgotten how to do a divination as she set the cards up in a 3 card fashion. The devil rested in the past, death in the present, and the empress in the future. She didn’t know what to make of it really, she knew what that could possibly mean: bad things that rested in the past, change in the present, and good things to come. But since she hadn’t done this in a while and the book was lost somewhere amongst her bookshelf, which she dared not dishevel for no man, she did not know their true intent. She sighed just a bit and placed the cards in the bottom drawer of her night stand. She proceeded to get up and press play on her Cranberries tape, it was a fairly new tape, and she didn’t dare spend the extra five dollars that it would of taken to purchase a CD.

“ So I was like reading this book yesterday, called The Joy Luck Club. I haven’t finished it yet but its really cool, I’m into the first twenty-five pages, I’m pretty random about it.” Angela was talking to Sharon. They had become fast friends… again, they had lost touch as soon as Angela become friends with Rayanne but they had put their differences aside once it came to Jordan Catalano and her. They were friends but they rarely admitted it. “ Yeah, I heard about that book, it’s supposed to be really good, anyway, I’m tired. Are you coming to my house tonight? I got a new CD that we can listen to.” Angela smiled just a little bit “ Sure I guess, I’ll call or whatever” she gave a quick glance and smile as they moved out of the girl’s room, Sharon had to go to Year book and Angela had to go to English.
Angela ran towards Mr. Katimski’s class with anticipation, she touched her hair slightly as she moved into the class room…

Patty Chase looked at the flowers that rested in the living room, the flowers that she had lied to Graham about, only because she didn’t know who the sender was, and that flowers were not a way to avoid confrontation. She didn’t know what to say about them, they came with no card, they came only at the doorstep, another night when she had gotten home before Graham, whose attention seemed to be differed by Hallie Loenthol, the woman that had brushed into the life of him. Patty touched the flowers slightly as she picked one of them up by the stem, they were her favorite, her favorite flowers, that were delivered to her while her relationship was in some ominous light.

She had first figured that they were from Graham, and she had decided not to ask foolishly. “ Graham ? “ she said slowly, choosing her words carefully, “ did you send me these flowers?” she asked as he came from the kitchen, he had been spending a lot of time in there lately making new recipes. “ No, I thought you bought them for the house anyway.” He said patiently. “ NO they really just arrived at the doorstep, but it didn’t have any address or anything so I was just wondering.” Graham sighed just a little bit as he looked at her, stirring some concoction in a bowl. “ Well, they didn’t have anything ? “

“ No just the flowers.” She said a little worried about his tone. “ Jesus Patty they could like be sprinkled with anthrax or something! They could be laced with Ebola!” he yelled with a great enthusiasm, in a half joking way but with an underweight tinge of seriousness. “ Oh Graham, if they were laced with Ebola, anthrax, and injected with plastic explosives I’d still put them in a vase as my body started to decay with disease.” She smiled softly as she gave him a small kiss on the cheek. “ Angela is going to be spending a couple of hours at Sharon’s and Danielle is spending the night at a friend’s …” she said with an air of seduction. “ Oh, ok.” He said with a bit of simple mindedness. “ Oh… oh… well I’d love to join you but, unfortunately my hands are full. I’m trying out these new recipes for Hallie. Oh, she said that the restaurant was moving in a direction of China town meets Fine cuisine. Its weird anyway, I’m busy.. but I promise one night we will have time…” he trailed off as he kissed her neck and walked off stirring once more.

“ I’m sorry, I’ve just grown tired of all these games we’ve been playing.” “ Maybe we should just stop.. “ “ I know I’m not making any sense “ Angela Chase said these things to herself in her full length mirror, a towel wrapped taut around her body so that she would not have to man handle it. She was thinking of what to say to either Bryan Krakow or Jordan Catalano, which ever specimen of misguided love she encountered first. She looked away as her crimson hair had began to fade, she wondered if she should die it again, or maybe try to wash it out. It was like I was deciding which pair of shoes to wear to the dance, it was completely shallow and self involved, and I felt no feeling when I said these things. But I knew that when I gazed into their eyes that I would just stop… I would look up, turn around, and walk

Bryan Krakow was pacing up and down his room again, and rampaging to the tones that usually adorned his head phones was of no help to him. He gazed once more through his telescope into the Chase house, wondering if A: he would see Angela, and B: if he could try to undo the inner workings of these people and their simple lives. They had not spoken obviously, for if they had spoken then they Angela would most likely end up not speaking to him all over again. He tried to write another note, a different note, to explain what had gone on, but in all reality he would end up being the same not that he had written in the first place, with the same intensity, the same love and the same passion. He spun his telescope slightly just to turn away from the Chase residence, because frankly looking into peoples windows is creepy. If only he could explain, if only he could tell her, if only the words could just spill out of his mouth, if only, he could kiss her. Of course he would make up some sort of lie to her parents who would most likely have no idea what was going on because matters of the heart have nothing to do with parents. “ Angela,” he would say “ I know that we haven’t spoken in a while but I don’t care,” he would say this with a bold tone not caring, he could envision himself doing this, moving closer, his fall colored flannel shirt hanging off of him slightly. “ I know that you thought that Catalano had written the note, but it was me it was all me, I know that you probably knew all of this already. But it’s just, Angela I love you “ he would say this softly and sweetly as she had moved closer to him, he had moved closer to her too, dragging his steps softly. The scene seemed so perfect, but of course he knew that that would never happen, he would go over there and request like a pottery book or something and she would of course have it or not, he would stammer over his words, and she would close the door. But in all boldness of the meaning love he didn’t care. He knew what his feelings were and he was going to act on them, no matter what. With a determined gleam in his eye, he stepped out of his room but walked back again. ‘ Thinking is such a pain ‘ he thought as he sat down pointing the telescope back at the Chase home once more.

Jordan Catalano was driving down an alley way, he had picked up a pack of beer for his band: Residue. He didn’t usually do this but he figured since had nothing else to do he might as well go, the band was going to be playing in a couple of hours, he was composing a song in his head, humming. It wasn’t anything special, it wasn’t anything small, it was just something that he was going to write for Angela if he ever saw her again. He didn’t know if he ever would there was school but they barely ever saw each other except when they like wanted to see each other. He was remembered back to the day when he picked her up to talk, it wasn’t a long talk, they just said a couple of words and that was it, he told her the truth, he did love her. But he did not want to get there on someone else’s power. He sighed a little bit as he lit a cigarette at a traffic light, he didn’t smoke on a like basis but he had a mood for a cigarette today. As he drove into across the open area into the parking lot, he took a puff of his cigarette, dropping it out the window. He walked up the steps of night club slowly, his thoughts aspiring to Angela. He would make his decision, he would finish the song tonight, and he would tell Angela in his own words, with his own song.

Bryan Krakow found himself standing at the door of Angela Chase. He knocked three times slowly. Danielle Chase opened the door slowly after a small peek. “ Hi…” she said with an impish air, “ ANGELA DOOR !” she yelled as Angela descended the steps, she was dressed like she had had just gotten up from bed. A long sleeping gown, the cloth kind because silk was for a lady and cotton was for a teen, was hanging off her frame. She was shocked just a little bit, “ Danielle can you give us a second” she said closing the door behind her. “ Angela I…” Bryan started, his fantasy running through his head. “ Angela, I came to get my…” He stopped mid sentence as she held up her index finger in the air in front of him. He walked just a bit closer, she stepped back a half step. “ Angela, I have something to say, it’s not about a book, its not about a song, or anything like that.” He paused slightly and took a breath.

It was weird how I just stood there, my dream was coming true, someone was going to tell me they loved me, possibly someone I loved back and all I could do is stand there gawking. I knew this wasn’t how I thought this would happen so while he stood there going on I could only think of one thing.
“Angela I love you and that is that, you know what I know and even though you may not be as whatever for me all I can say is that I like am like .” He stopped, not because he ran out of breath, not because he ran out of things to say, but because Angela had kissed him. She had taken a step forward, put her arms around his neck and kissed him. They were both happy, a smile crossed their lips as they brought themselves together again. The moment seemed frozen in time as the moon light gazed upon them. “ I’d better go.” Krakow said, but he didn’t, he stood there and they kissed again.

I saw the world and I held it, It felt right, but my only fear is that it wasn’t, The fact that it wasn’t over and that I knew it wasn’t over bothered me, he wouldn’t disappear and I wouldn’t cease to exist, it would keep going. And I’m like bothered by that, because it’s like too perfect …