"Crushed"

[Lizka]

Crushed

By Lizka

It’s just a crush.

That's what I tell myself so I can sleep at night.

It's just a harmless, stupid crush that won't mean much in the long run. In five years, it will mean nothing. In ten years, it will mean nothing. In twenty years, it will mean nothing. Who ends up with the person they've longed for since high school, anyway?

Okay, Mr and Mrs Chase are an exception, but they’re the exception that proves the rule.

Right. So. I don’t care that Angela doesn’t feel the same way about me. I mean, I care, but that’s for now, and I won’t feel that way when I’m thirty.

Just fifteen more years …

She and Catalano won't last, anyway. That kind of couple never does. They'll probably break up and get back together a few more times, have a few public fights, date other people to make each other jealous only to reunite later, and then what will happen? We’ll graduate. She'll go to college, he'll find work as a mechanic, and they’ll talk and smile at each other politely whenever she’s home for the weekend, but they won’t keep in touch.

Of course, there’s still that slim, impossible chance that Jordan’s band will actually get a record deal, Residue will become world famous, and thousands of other teenage girls will fall under Catalano’s spell. Angela will interview him for some hip music magazine because Residue will ultimately be known as the Jordan Catalano’s Band, they’ll fall in love all over again, get married, and live happily-freakin’ after.

God! Why do I do this to myself? When did I become completely masochistic? Was it when I was five and let Angela and Sharon give me a makeover? Even then I was a complete glutton for Chase’s particular brand of punishment. She used to make me play dolls, and dress up, and house, and I would just go along with whatever she said. Sure, we did other stuff, like use my telescope to look for UFOs, or tell each other scary stories while Sharon would hide under a blanket, but they still liked to put ribbons in my hair.

Seriously. There are pictures.

Maybe it’s because I’ve just known her for so long. She’s the girl that I’ve lived across the street from since I was five, so it makes sense that I’d be so, like, fixated on her.

Yup. That’s it. It's only natural, isn't it? She was my first friend when we moved here and of course I would obsess about the pretty, smart girl that I've been friends with and annoyed for ten years. I mean, I’ve known Sharon for that long too, but I was never as close to her as I was to Angela.

Okay. It's good to have all of this sorted out. Now, when I cure cancer, I can tell all my colleagues about how I was once in lo- um, mildly obsessed with a girl. I had a crush on a girl once, I'd tell them, and she was kind and intelligent and babbled when she was nervous and I’d loan her books, but it really doesn’t matter now since I was only fifteen, and now here I am, curing cancer.

I’d phrase it a little better than that, but that’s the basic gist of it.

It’s just a crush.

That's what I tell myself so I can sleep at night.

Author's Note: I'm thinking about doing a series, but I can't choose between two ideas: one, entitled "Gossip", would be an episode-by-episode alternate PoV in the form of, well, gossip. The other would simply be the whole series from Jordan's PoV. Thoughts?

[Nostradamus]

OK, I don't usually read the fanfics, but I have to applaud making the young Brian a cross-dressing UFO nut.





ETA: I read the whole thing; it's really good! You captured the essence of Brian's mindset and you balanced the humor with character. I also like that it's stand-alone and could fit almost anywhere in the series.

[wicked]

I have to applaud making the young Brian a cross-dressing UFO nut.

ROFLAMO...too funny

This is very nicely written.I enjoyed it.