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I'm not talking about the sappy songs that make you cry as you hug your pillow to your chest. I'm talking the empowering turn it up, "good riddance to you" kind of songs that come AFTER all the Ben & Jerry's.

I'll start off with the must-haves:

I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor
You Oughta Know - Alanis Morissette
Song for the Dumped - Ben Folds Five

Empowering breakup songs, hmm, a couple that come to my mind initially are:

Nickleback - How you remind me
2 Live Crew - Get the F**k out of My House

I suppose 2 Live is a bit gender bias and lacks appeal to most members of the opposite sex, but it always made me feel better. Was it realistic and politically correct, certainly not, but was it empowering when your heart had been stomped on, you bet.

The Good Life - Weezer
Gravel - Ani DiFranco
Untouchable Face - Ani DiFranco
Done Wrong - Ani DiFranco
You Can Love Yourself - Keb' Mo'
I Cried For You (Now It's You're Turn To Cry Over Me) - Sarah Vaughan
Lots of Blues music, strangely enough.*

*I think that's more attitude than anything else. But I also think the Blues can be very optimistic and empowering. Lots of different types of music can seem sad on the outside or even have pretty sad lyrics, but because the song presents a certain attitude or has a great bass line or guitar lick, it can make you feel great.

Thats a good call with Ani DiFranco. This is her from "How Have You Been" - simply brilliant....

how have you been
---------------
you could always hear the rub squeaking
of those two tree limbs
'til one day one of them came down
taken down by the wind
but on the one that's still there
you can still see where the bark was
rubbed bare
it's a metaphor if you know what i mean
how have you been?

me and you
and your girlfriend makes three
in the interest of even numbers
i will make myself scarce
i will make myself scarcely me
but i'll be outside your window at night
pull up your shades
leave on your light
i don't want to come in between
i just want to know
how have you been

i leave for a living
music's just something i do
on my way out the door
and i'd do almost anything once
something about you
i think i'd do you more
if i had my way i'd stay here
and watch your hair grow for a while
it makes me smile just to dream of it
how have you been'

--------------------------

The other song which came to mind was Dammit by Blink 182 - (I love this song)....
Blink 182 - Dammit lyrics-

It's alright
to tell me
what you think
about me
I won't try
to argue
or hold it
against you
I know that
you're leaving
you must have
your reasons
The season
is calling
and your pictures
are falling down

The steps that
I retrace
the sad look
on your face
The timing
and structure
did you hear
he fucked her?
A day late
a buck short
I'm writing
the report
On losing
and failing
when I move
I'm flailing now

And it's happened once again
I'll turn to a friend
Someone that understands
Sees through the master plan

But everybody's gone
And I've been here for too long
To face this on my own
Well I guess this is growing up

Well I guess this is growing up

And maybe
I'll see you
at a movie
sneak preview
You'll show up
and walk by
on the arm
of that guy
And I'll smile
and you'll wave
we'll pretend
it's okay
The charade
it won't last
when he's gone
I won't come back

And it'll happen once again
You'll turn to a friend
Someone that understands
And sees through the master plan

But everybody's gone
And you've been there for too long
To face this on your own
Well I guess this is growing up

Well, I guess this is growing up [4x]
Well, I guess this is growing up

Another song came to mind...There Is by Boxcar Racer (BTW, candygirl I hope this topic wasn't chosen for personal reasons...if so my condolences).

--------------------------------
This vacation's useless, these white pills aren't kind,
I've given alot of thought on this 13 hour drive.
I miss the grinded concrete where we sat past 8 or 9.
and slowly finished laughing in the glow of our headlights.

I've given alot of thought to the nights we used to have.
The days have come and gone, our lives went by so fast.
I faintly remember breathing on your bedroom floor,
where I laid and told you, but you swear you loved me more.

Do you care if I don't know what to say,
Will you sleep tonight or will you think of me?
Will I shake this off? Pretend it's all ok,
That there's someone out there that feels just like me...
There is.

Those notes you wrote me, I've kept them all.
I've given alot of thought of how to write you back this fall.
With every single letter, in every single word,
there will be a hidden message about a boy that loves a girl.

Do you care if I don't know what to say,
Will you sleep tonight or will you think of me?
Will I shake this off? Pretend it's all ok,
That there's someone out there that feels just like me...
There is.

------------

I'd also add that pete yorn's musicforthemorningafter got me through some bad times. As the title suggests, the whole album deals with the "morning after".

Given the nature of this forum, I'm surprised the obvious has yet to be mentioned:

BLISTER IN THE SUN - Violent Femmes

I don't have that many empowering break-up songs in my collection, but there are a few songs that may serve just as well in that they generally encourage the listener to carry on and boldly face sunny new days.

"(I'm Not Your) Steppin' Stone" - The Monkees
"Big Time" - Peter Gabriel
"Gone" - U2
"Long Gone" - George Thorogood and the Destroyers
"Louie to Frisco" - George Thorogood and the Destroyers
"Love Me, Just Leave Me Alone" - Jewel (trust me on this one)
"Ready" - Matthew Sweet
"Up Around the Bend" - Creedence Clearwater Revival
"Walk On" - U2
"Where the Streets Have No Name" - U2
"Won't Get Fooled Again" - The Who

Of them all, U2's Gone is my favorite:

You're taking steps that make you feel dizzy
Then you learn to like the way it feels
You hurt yourself you hurt your lover
Then you discover
What you thought was freedom just was greed

Goodbye...
No emotional good night...
I'll be up with the sun
Are you still holding on
I'm not coming down
I'm not coming down

I'm not coming down

Love Stinks ~ J. Geils Band

Need I say more?

JPP13 wrote:BTW, candygirl I hope this topic wasn't chosen for personal reasons...if so my condolences

Thankfully, no.

My friend and his girlfriend just broke up so I started making a CD to cheer him up. Just thought I'd do a little straw poll to see what everyone else thinks should be included.

Ok, I’ve reloaded with more songs. Most of these songs are a bit angry, but I think that’s a healthy part of the grieving process. It’s always easier to be angry at the person than it is to confront your true feelings at first. Maybe it’s a guy thing, I don’t know, I just know most guys do it. So here we go:

Linkin Park – In the End
Our Lady Peace – Clumsy
Mark Morrison – Return of the Mack
Prodigy – Smack My Bitch Up (not that I’d ever condone physical abuse, but singing it can make you feel better)
Incubus – Nice to know you
Stone Temple Pilots – Interstate Love Song
Soup Dragons – I’m Free
Violent Femmes – Girl Trouble (Yes, Blister in the Sun is great, but for a breakup, I think this is their best song)
Counting Crows – Have you seen me lately

nothingman wrote:It’s always easier to be angry at the person than it is to confront your true feelings at first. Maybe it’s a guy thing, I don’t know, I just know most guys do it.

No, it's an everyone thing. Just listen to the songs I put down earlier by Ani DiFranco. There is a lot of anger in those songs. I went through a breakup about four months ago, and I had to keep constantly reminding myself how angry I was at my former boyfriend, even though I was the one to officially end it. It was often tempting to go back to him because I knew he would take me back in a second. I don't think he would anymore, it's been a while. But I had to keep telling myself how angry we got at each other to prevent going back to him. I miss him a lot, and I still can't listen to Miles Davis or any trumpet player, for that matter. (He's a trumpet player, if you hadn't guessed.)

mariah carey breakdown
no doubt x girlfriend
rem everybody hurts

The Corrs - I Never Really Loved You Anyway (fun for when you're in the spiteful stage)

Delta Goodrem - Predictable

Toni Braxton - Un-Break My Heart
Whitney Houston - I Will Always Love You

Empowering:

Strong Enough - Cher
Believe - Cher
I'll Remember - Madonna


Hug Your Pillow and Cry:

Make It Real - The Jets
Goodbye - SpiceGirls

I like Mason Jennings' "Crown" as a break up song.
(chorus and last verse)
i don't wanna be together
i don't wanna be apart
i don't want none of this love for you honey
deep, deep down in my heart
you were my dream come true
can't you see what you've put me through
the love that tears me apart
still beats deep, deep down in my heart

It's not exactly upbeat but I do find it empowering in that it recognizes that the love is still there and sort of says F you love.