Posted: Feb 9th 2005, 9:49 am
I do agree, however, that Joel & Clementine didn't seem like the most compatible couple.
There's LIFE after death on the 'net
https://www.mscl.com/forum/
Kristin wrote:candygirl, always playing devil's advocate!
I'd be a member of the Cynic Camp too (hell, I am for everything else), but I partly believe in the Happy Camp theory if you replace the word love with attraction. Love is not always meant to be, but you can erase your memory 100 times; you can't erase the attraction you'll inevitably feel for another person no matter how many times you meet them for the first time.candygirl wrote:I have read some interesting and conflicting reviews about what people thought the movie meant. The Happy Camp interprets the movie as a triumph of love - if you're meant to be together, you will be together no matter what. The Cynical Camp sees the movie as proof that people will make the same mistakes over and over.
I agree that the story is better with them only erasing their mind once. because it's not like time travel. the second time they go to erase their mind, given what happened the first time, they would know the possibility of finding each other again is pretty high.Kristin wrote:I think that it worked better for the movie that they didn't keep erasing their memories of each other. Or at least that they didn't show it in the movie. I thought it was open-ended, because then the audience can decide whether the message is optimistic or pessimistic. I just thought the way it ended seemed optimistic.
candygirl, always playing devil's advocate!
You watch Jerry Springer?candygirl wrote:I think I have seen one too many examples of abusive, unhealthy relationships on Jerry Springer where people justify staying with the plaintive wail of "but I loooooove him!"
I understand what you mean, candygirl. I find myself intensely attracted to guys who are (maybe) emotionally unavailable... I don't know, it's hard to describe. But I know myself, and I know that in the long run when it comes time to think about marriage, I am going to want a husband who is confident in himself and available to me emotionally - more similar to my temperment. I think perhaps I find myself attracted to the emotionally unavailable guys right now because I don't want huge huge attachment at this time in my life. I can't think about marriage yet - I'm not even out of college. And as hot as I think these guys are, I don't want any of them to be my boyfriend. They would really piss me off as a boyfriend! I've seen examples of opposites attract that work and examples that don't.I am also not big fan of opposites attract. ... There are people to whom I feel an intense attraction (for example, one guy who is an ex and another guy who is just a friend) but it's just a chemical reaction involving pheromones.
People have been known to change, even for the better. I took it the optimistic way in that this experience changed them and they realized that even when they tried (and went to such drastic measures) to forget each other, they always found each other. I would think that experience would change them and maybe history wouldn't repeat itself.The problem I saw with Joel and Clementine's relationship is that in returning to each other, neither of them had changed. So how long before she began acting out (whether that meant cheating on him or she found another way to hurt him) and he began acting sullen and withdrawn? He wanted her to stop sleeping around, but if that's the way she manifests her insecurity, what are the chances that she will stop being that way? She wanted him to be less jealous and possessive, but if that's the way he manifests his insecurity, what are the chances that he will stop being that way? And if they are both going to act the same way as before with her sleeping around feeding into his jealousy, what are the chances that their relationship will be any better the second time around?
I completely agree with you Megs! the best relationship I was in was with someone my complete opposite. but we were opposite in a good way. in a way, we made one perfect person. he was outgoing and stubborn, while I was quiet and giving, and so on. we taught each other a great deal, and I learned the most from that relationship than any other. and not just about relationships, but about life in general. he really opened my eyes to another world. the next guy I dated could have been the female version of myself. and in the end, it didn't work. he was a sweetheart, but our time together was really boring. we had all the same interests and had travelled to all the same places. it was like dating myself. and why would I want to do that? but of course, that is just how it is with me.Megs wrote: My husband and I are opposites, not to the point where we are incompatible, but just to a point where it colors our lives and makes it interesting. I have friends that never fight, never argue, always agree, and it just seems so boring to me. There's no passion there. My husband and I agree on the most important things in life, and that's what matters to us. I like someone who challenges me, and he certainly does. We challenge each other. That's not to say that if you are very much alike, you can't challenge each other. I just haven't seen it in the example of my friends. I couldn't be in a relationship like that.
So it's what works for you (collective you). No way is right or wrong.
Yet more evidence that women like jerks. You're not looking for bf and if the guy turns out to be really nice and into you, calling you twice a day, always on time, sending you flowers, you pull back and let him down easy. You can't just have a good time with him, he's too nice, you don't want to hurt him. In terms of marriage you don't want a jerk, you'll eventually settle down with Mr. Reliable, and fantisize about the weekend you had with the baseball player or the guy you met at your friends wedding that you didn't even know his last name. I was a nice guy once, all us jerks were at one point, and our dirty little secret, is on some level, we'd like to be that nice guy again. But we do what gets us results, and when we finally decide to settle down we end up combining the two.Kristin wrote:I understand what you mean, candygirl. I find myself intensely attracted to guys who are (maybe) emotionally unavailable... I don't know, it's hard to describe. But I know myself, and I know that in the long run when it comes time to think about marriage, I am going to want a husband who is confident in himself and available to me emotionally - more similar to my temperment. I think perhaps I find myself attracted to the emotionally unavailable guys right now because I don't want huge huge attachment at this time in my life. I can't think about marriage yet - I'm not even out of college. And as hot as I think these guys are, I don't want any of them to be my boyfriend. They would really piss me off as a boyfriend! I've seen examples of opposites attract that work and examples that don't.
Nothingman: I don't think the guys I get attracted to (the emotionally unavailable ones) want a girlfriend right now, though. That's the thing - they are the same as me in that way. I never said I DO anything with those guys! I just find them interesting, and I flirt a little maybe. I think there is a huge distinction between really dating someone/being involved with them/being seriously interested in a real relationship with them... and just flirting a little. When it comes to wanting a real boyfriend, I want Mr. Nice Guy - and I will never "just settle" when it comes to a husband. Why would I waste my time with a jerk? I've thought about dating the jerks before, and I always get uncomfortable with even the thought of it. I want a boyfriend that gets along with my friends & family, that I can take out in public and be proud of, not embarrassed by. Maybe I just haven't been out in the dating world that long, but I luckily haven't experienced jerks that much in my dating life. Maybe that's why it's intriguing to me - because I haven't had it. Not that I really want it all the time in reality, necessarily. I can always ask my Good-Guy boyfriend to do a little role playing with me!Nothingman wrote:Yet more evidence that women like jerks. You're not looking for bf and if the guy turns out to be really nice and into you, calling you twice a day, always on time, sending you flowers, you pull back and let him down easy. You can't just have a good time with him, he's too nice, you don't want to hurt him. In terms of marriage you don't want a jerk, you'll eventually settle down with Mr. Reliable, and fantisize about the weekend you had with the baseball player or the guy you met at your friends wedding that you didn't even know his last name. I was a nice guy once, all us jerks were at one point, and our dirty little secret, is on some level, we'd like to be that nice guy again. But we do what gets us results, and when we finally decide to settle down we end up combining the two.