A few quotes I always like
Bender-
"You won't accept a guys tongue in your mouth and you're gonna eat that?"
"Oh, are you medically frigid or is it psychological?"
"But face it, you're a Neo-Maxi-Zoom-Dweebie!"
"So it's sorta social...demented and sad, but social. Right?"
"You keep eating your hand and you're not gonna be hungry for lunch."
Allison
"Well, if you say you haven't, you're a prude. If you say you have, you're a slut! It's a trap. You want to but you can't but when you do you wish you didn't, right? "
"You wanna know what I did to get in here? Nothing. I didn't have anything better to do."
"I never did it either, I'm not a nymphomaniac. I'm a compulsive liar. "
Andrew
"No I don't wear tights, I wear the required uniform. "
"Just me, just you and me. Two hits. Me hitting you, you hitting the floor! Anytime you're ready, pal!"
Brian
"You know the school comes equipped with fire exits at either end of the library. "
"That's seven including the one when we first came in and you asked Mr. Vernon here whether Barry Manilow knew that he raided his closet."
(Explaining why he needs a fake ID)" So I can vote! "
Claire
"So...academic clubs aren't the same as other kinds of clubs."
"I can't believe you, you're so weird. You don't say anything all day and then when you open your mouth...you unload all these tremendous lies all over me! "
And a last quote from Bender.. the joke that no one (at least no one I know) knows the punch line to...
"A naked blond walks into a bar, with a poodle under one arm, and a two foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table. Bartender says, "I suppose you won't be needing a drink." The naked lady says..."