MSCL.com

Judging from the lycos board, CMIH is trading at $0.0002 per share. That number is so low it is difficult to visualize. To that end, I have conducted the following analysis to determine the true worth of CMIH stock.

One good way to accomplish this is to compare CMIH stock to some everyday item we all know well. So, I went to netgrocer.com and looked up the price of toilet paper. THey were good enough to list the price as dollars per 100 squeare feet. By eyeballing it, I determined a good average value to work with is $1.25 / 100 SqFt, or $0.0000833 per square inch.

Now, the typical (perforated) square of toilet paper measures approximatly 4.5 in x 4 in, for a total of 18 square inches. This makes the typical square of toilet paper worth $0.0015.

So, by using complex math stuff, I have determined that one square of toilet paper is worth 7.5 shares of CMIH stock. To take it out the other end, one share of CMIH stock is worth 2/14 of a square of toilet paper. The picture below illustates what 2/14th of a square of toilet paper looks like. For reference, the toilet paper is sitting on a 5" CD.



So there you have it, in living color, what one share of CMIH stock is truly worth.


Now, let's consider stock certificates. A typical stock certificate is 8.5 x 11 inches, or 93.5 sqare inches. The equivalent size of toilet paper is worth $0.00779. This equates to approximatly 39 shares. Therefore, a CMIH stock certificate must be worth at least 40 shares to be more valuable than toilet paper.

It is left as an exercise for the reader to determine how much CMIH stock it would take to wipe one's ass.

Oh my god that is perfect! Such a thoughtful analysis of the status, and such an appropriate example!

This also means that one share is worth less than the actual cash value of grocery store coupons. Perhaps we should send RR a pair of scissors and a subscription to his Sunday paper, and tell him to start clipping!

Phelix, that is unfreakingbelievably hilarious!

Now whenever I see the fine print on the Sunday coupons (actual cash value 1/10th of a cent), I will think of Ross - but in a ha ha funny way.

Man, to realize that the cost of the ink and paper is worth more than the actual stock is hilarious!!

oh please stop posting this stuff! the booklet has already 70 pages...

Since I'm still awake, I figured on keeping this numbers thing up:

For everyone who has canceled or been double billed, or has ordered on not recieved their set, they are into AU at least around $100 a piece.

This translates into 500,000 shares. Thats what every one of those customers mentioned effectively owns.

Multiply that by 1000 (the said number of people waiting for refunds) and you get: 500,000,000 shares. 500 million shares. Which comes to $100,000.

Now, I may be very very wrong about that, but by the numbers I heard and seen, 500 million shares seems to be pretty high. Are there even that many out there for this company? Possibly. I do know that good ol' socrates_bridge is in for over a million. But it would seem that the MSCL customers are into the company WAY more than any stock holder.

Ehhehehehehehehehehehhehehe

Thank you for making me laugh!

I agree, this board is the best I have been on. I'm developing an addiction

mephisto wrote:oh please stop posting this stuff! the booklet has already 70 pages... :lol:

Hmmm... I'm thinking that one of is going to have to send the finished booklet certified mail to au headquarters...

pgh kenny wrote: Hmmm... I'm thinking that one of is going to have to send the finished booklet certified mail to au headquarters...

First we'd have to set up a 'shopping cart', bill AU 3 times, make up some release dates... not ship the booklet, ship it months later, make sure it gets to within 50 miles of AU's 'office', order UPS to turn around and take it back to their headquarters...

*sigh* if only it were possible...

starbug wrote:sigh* if only it were possible...

we need ~5 people in the US printing the damn thing out and send it registered to Ross, Mike, Wade, Thomas and "Clyde", so they would get it from 5 different places...

and if we ever should get AU gift certificates, I'd scan it and write "I'd rather file a complaint at IFCC than order from you again" on it, so everyone can print it out and send it back to Sacramento

Actually, I'm prepared to look up one of those companies that prints up specialty toilet paper--those places that will print your boss's picture on each square, and such. Design each square as a mock-up CMIH certificate.

this is a real link, edited for those under 18:

http://www.sh*tbegone.com

just replace the asterisk.