Episode # 21, Missing Pieces

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stburr91
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Episode # 21, Missing Pieces

Post by stburr91 » Jan 3rd 2007, 2:19 pm

Here is my latest episode. I took a lot longer to write than I thought it would (Life gets in the way of my writing). I'm pretty happy with most of it, but I may make some changes. Let me know what you think.

Anyway, here it is.



Missing Pieces


FADE IN

INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY--Morning

(Angela and Brian are walking down the hallway together. Jordan meets them at Angela's locker.)

Jordan: Hey Angela, Brain. (To Angela) Sorry I couldn't pick you up today.

Angela: That's okay. (Looking at Brian.) It gave me a chance to talk to an old friend.

Jordan: Brain, can we end tutoring a little early today? The band needs to rehearse tonight, so…...

Brian: Sure, I have a lot of work to do myself after school. (Not wanting to be a third wheel.) I got to get to homeroom, see ya.

Angela: I'll see you later.

Jordan: Later, Brain.

(Brian heads off to homeroom.)

Angela: You know his name is Brian, not Brain.

Jordan: Oh....I guess that makes sense. I just though....never mind. (Pause) So, the band is looking for some gigs, we’re trying to come up with a set to play. We got like, six songs so far. We’re starting to sound pretty decent. (Pause) You should come over and hear us some time.

Angela: I would love to.

Jordan: Alright. (Pause) So, Shane wants to change the name of the band.

Angela: To what?

Jordan: Something like, The Yuk's.

Angela: I don't know, I kind of like The Yuk's. (Pause) Well, I can't see my parents letting me go see a band named Residue, that's all. I mean, if it's your band, they would let me......

Angela: (VO) Being around Jordan, I still get butterflies, and don’t know what to say to him, which make me ramble on and on. God, just shut up....and kiss him.

(She kisses him, he kisses her back, but only for a few moments, subconsciously he is still not completely comfortable with everyone knowing about their relationship.)

Jordan: I gotta go, I'll see you later.

Angela: Bye.



INT. GIRL'S BATHROOM--Morning

(Sharon and Rayanne are talking)

Rayanne: So, there was this wicked party Saturday night, I haven't had that much fun, in like, forever. Tino was there, you know Tino right?

Sharon: Uh....no.

Rayanne: Any way, we did the craziest thing, we....

Sharon: Wait, are you drinking again?

Rayanne: A little.

Sharon: Rayanne, remember what happened last time you were, drinking.

Rayanne: Man, you sound like Rickie. So what if I drink. (Pause) Why shouldn't I have some fun?

Sharon: Are you...... having fun?

Rayanne: Definitely . (She says this, more to convince herself that Sharon.)

(Delia comes into the bathroom and walks up to them.)

Delia: (To Sharon.) Can I talk to you?

Sharon: Sure, what's up?

Delia: Have you seen Rickie? I haven't heard from him all weekend.

Sharon: No, I haven't. (To Rayanne.) Have you seen him?

Rayanne: No, but don't sweat it, he sometimes disappears for a few days.

Sharon: He does, why?

Rayanne: It's a long story. Don't worry, he'll show up.

Delia: So, you think he's okay?

Rayanne: I don't know....probably.



INT. BOY'S BATHROOM--Morning.

(A group of guys are in the bathroom smoking.)

Guy # 1: Hey, I heard that gay kid is living with that English teacher.

Guy # 2: You mean that kid Rickie?

Guy # 1: Yeah, and that teacher, what's his name?

Guy # 3: Katimski.

Guy # 1: Yeah, that's him.

Guy # 2: Isn't Katimski gay?

Guy # 3: I don't know, probably.

Guy # 1: A gay kid, living with a gay teacher, what's up with that?

Guy # 3: Oh man......don't they have laws against that?

(After the guys leave, we hear a toilet flush, and Brian walks out of the stall. The camera fallows Brian out of the bathroom, as he walks out the door, he walks right into Rayanne.)

Rayanne: Watch where you're going Krakow. What are you trying to do, cop a feel?

Brian: Uh, hardly.

Rayanne: (She moves in real close to him.) So you’re saying you don't want to touch me?

Brian: Yes. I mean no. (Kind of blushing, he pulls back.) You know what I mean.

Rayanne: (With a smirk on her face.) Yeah, I know what you mean.

Brian: Um…….have you seen Rickie? I need to talk to him.

Rayanne: Nope, haven't seen him.

(She turns and walks away. The camera zooms up on Brian's face. We see him smiling as he watches her walk away. This encounter with Rayanne was different than usual. He seemed to have enjoyed this one.)



INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY--Morning

(Jordan and Angela are talking, as Rayanne comes up to them.)

Rayanne: Angela, I don't mean to interrupt you or anything, but have you seen Vasquez?

Angela: No, I haven't seen him in a few days.

Rayanne: Oh, I just ran into Brian Krakow, he was looking for him, and so was that girl, Delia Fisher. She said, she was worried about him. She hasn't seen him all weekend. Although I can see why he would avoid her, she's like, a little too happy all the time.

Jordan: Do you mean that kid, Rickie? I saw him when I went out for a smoke. He’s under the bleachers.

Rayanne: Thanks.



INT. OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL--Morning

(Rickie is standing under the bleachers, Rayanne comes up to him.)

Rayanne: So, Rickie...... everyone's been looking for you.

(Rickie just stares straight ahead.)

Rayanne: Hey, Tino is having this thing, at his house tonight, we should go. Ya 'know, like old times. What do you say?

(Still no response from Rickie.)

Rayanne: What are you going to do, stay out here all day? What's going on Vasquez?

Rickie: She called.

Rayanne: Who called?

Rickie: My mother. (We can see that this is hard for Rickie to talk about.)

Rayanne: What, why? (Pause) You know, last time she called you..... you let it get to you. You need to forget about her, move on, like she did with you.

Rickie: I wish I could.

Rayanne: You can. I did with my dad. (We can see in her eyes, that she hasn't forgotten about her father.)

Rickie: She heard about my aunt and uncle leaving, she wants to know if I'm like, okay or whatever.

Rayanne: (Feeling protective of Rickie.) Isn't she a little late for that! Who the hell is she! She never seemed to care before.

Rickie: She wants to see me.

Rayanne: What.... you're not going to see her, are you?

Rickie: I don't know.



INT. RESTAURANT--Early afternoon.

(Patty walks into the restaurant, trying to take in all of the changes to the place since she was last there. Construction workers are hard at work all over the restaurant.)

Patty: Woe, (She looking for Graham, almost walks into a step ladder a construction worker is carrying She sees Graham and Hallie having lunch together.) Graham. (He doesn’t hear her.)

(Graham and Hallie and in the middle of a discussion.)

Graham: I don’t think we need tile backsplashes behind the sinks in the restrooms.

Hallie: Yes we do. It looks better, and is makes cleaning easier.

Graham: These are the kind of things that are going to eat up the budget.

Hallie: We’ve got some room in the budget. What we don’t have room in the budget for, is that huge wine cooler.

Graham: The wine has to be chilled, Hallie!

Hallie: I know. We’ll just have to get a smaller cooler.

(Patty has walked up to them, but they don’t notice right away.)

Graham: We’ve getting that cooler. You’ll just have to make room for it in the budget. We can put in a cheaper…(He just notices Patty standing there.) Oh…. Hi, honey. I didn’t see you standing there.

Patty: Oh….well I didn’t want to interrupt you two. (Pause) Hi, Hallie.

Hallie: Hi, Patty.

Graham: So what brings you down here?

Patty: I just wanted to see how things are coming along . (Pause) You two sure seem to have your hands full. There's so much going on, I couldn't keep up with it all.

Hallie: I know, tell me about it. See that guy over there. (Pointing to a contractor across the room.) I have no idea what he is doing. I know someone told me, but I can't remember.

(Patty laughs politely, and puts on her big fake smile.)

Graham: That’s the heating and air conditioning contractor, he’s rerouting the heating duct, so we can put the new lights in above the fountain.

Hallie: Good, I’m glad one of us knows what’s going on here.

Patty: (To Graham.) I thought I might take you out for lunch, but I see you and Hallie are already eating.

Graham: Well, Hallie always stops by here on her lunch break, so we catch each other up on what’s going on. Since we both have to eat, why not kill two birds with one stone.

Patty: Oh…. I just thought it you be nice to have lunch together, since we don’t get to see each other as much anymore. But I get it, your too busy.

Graham: Once we get the restaurant open, you can come by for lunch anytime you want, and we’ll have lunch together.

Patty: You’ll be too busy cooking to have lunch with me.

Graham: You’re probably right, but it’s the thought that counts…right.

Hallie: (To Graham.) There’s Frank.

Graham: Oh hey, Frank, when are you going to know how much it will cost to fix the fountain?

Frank: All you need is a new pump, I’ll make a few calls, and let you know in about an hour. (Pause) I need to know what fixtures you want in the bathrooms, I have to place that order today.

Hallie: Which fixtures did we decide on?

Graham: We haven’t decided on any, yet.

Hallie: Well it looks like we need to decide. Where did I put that catalog?

Graham: I have to get back to work, I should be home at about 6 or 7 tonight. Bye (He starts to help Hallie look for the catalog.)

Patty: Oh, okay. Bye.


INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY--Afternoon.

(Brian sees Angela at her locker, and goes over to her.)

Angela: (She smiles as she sees Brian approach.) Hi, Brian.

Brian: Hey, I need to talk to you.

Angela: Brian, the bell’s about to ring, I need to get to sosh. Can it wait?

Brian: It’s about Rickie.

Angela: What about Rickie?

Brian: Have you seen him? I need to talk to him.

Angela: Rayanne was looking for him earlier. What’s going on?

Brian: I heard some guys talking about him in the bathroom.

(The bell rings, the hallway empties, leaving only Brian and Angela.)

Brian: Some guys were saying they heard that Rickie was living with Mr. Katimski.

Angela: He is, so…..

Brian: If theses guys know about it, it’s going to get spread all over school, that Rickie is living with Katimski. If the school administrators find out, Katimski, could get fired.

Angela: I hadn’t thought about it, but you’re right. We have to find Rickie, and tell him.



INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY--Afternoon

(Angela and Brian are in the hallway outside the computer room, they see Rickie inside.)

Angela: (Waving Rickie over to her.) Rickie.

(Rickie sees her, but is puzzled to see Brian with her. He quietly heads out to them.)

Rickie: What are you two doing here? (To Brian.) Why aren’t you in class?

Brian: We need to talk to you.

Rickie: About what?

Angela: Tell him Brian.

Brian: I heard some guys in the bathroom, talking about how you’re living with Mr. Katimski. They were saying that both of you are gay………so who knows what kind of rumors they might start.

Rickie: I don’t care if people are spreading rumors about me.

Angela: Yeah, but Rickie, think about it. If rumors start spreading about you and a teacher.

Rickie: (Getting what she is saying.) Katimski could get in trouble.

Brian: He could get fired.

(As the reality of this sinks in, we can see, Rickie is crushed.)

Rickie: I gotta go. (He walks away from Angela and Brian.)

Angela: Rickie, wait. Where are you going?

(He just keeps walking away.)


INT. CHASE KITCHEN--Early evening

(Patty is making dinner, and Angela and Danielle are doing homework at the kitchen table.)

Angela: So mom…..people are starting to find out that Rickie is living with Mr. Katimski.

Patty: What people, and how are they finding out?

Angela: I don’t know who all knows, but Brian Krakow heard some guys talking about it. It’s going to be spread all over school soon. (Pause) What will happen to Mr. Katimski and Rickie if the school finds out.

Patty: Well…I’m not sure.

Angela: Could Mr. Katimski get fired?

Patty: He probably could. (Pause) Well with him and Joseph being…..(Pause) Well that complicates things.

Danielle: Why would he get fired?

Patty: Because… well…there’s certain ways a teacher has to act. There’s certain things teachers can’t do.

Danielle: So you’re saying that they would fire him for being gay?

Patty: (Shocked that Danielle know that he was gay.) Not exactly, but a teacher can’t have one of his students living with him.

Danielle: That’s dumb.

Patty: Well, like I said, it’s complicated, sweetheart.

Angela: (VO) The thought that Mr. Katimski could get fired for helping someone, and that Rickie could lose the place were he feels he belongs….. is so depressing. I wish there was something I could do, someway I could help.


END OF DAY 1


DAY 2


INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY--Morning

(Angela see Rickie at his locker and goes over to talk to him.)

Angela: Hey Rickie, how are you doing?

Rickie: Okay, I guess.

Angela: So, have you talked to Katimski? What are you going to do?

Rickie: I’m not sure what I’m going to do.

Angela: Are you going to be able to stay with Katimski?

Rickie: I don’t really want to talk about it….. not with you. (Pause) I mean, you wouldn‘t understand.

(Angela is a little hurt, that Rickie doesn’t want to talk to her about it.)

Angela: What do you mean I wouldn’t understand?

Rickie: You don’t know what it’s like……. what I’m like, going through.

Angela: Then explain it to me. What’s it like?

(Rickie, can see that Angela is a little hurt by his comment.)

Rickie: I’m sorry, I just can’t right now.



INT. GIRL’S BATHROOM--Morning.

(Sharon is washing her hands, as Rayanne comes in, and plops her big bag down on the sink.)

Sharon: Are you just now getting to school? You missed first period.

Rayanne: (Digging through her bag.) Yeah, I got home from Tino’s kind of late last night.

Sharon: Partying on a school night…..real smart, Rayanne.

Rayanne: Cherski, we went through this yesterday. Everything’s cool.

Sharon: Oh, I can see that. You show up late for school looking like…..that. (Rayanne looks disheveled.)

Rayanne: That’s what makeup and hairspray is for.

Sharon: Maybe you should spend more time fixing your life….. instead of coving it up.

Rayanne: Oh nice, Cherski.

Sharon: (She turns and faces Rayanne.) Look, I’m just trying to help.(Pause) You look like you could use some….

Rayanne: It’s cool. Don’t worry, I’m fine. (Pause) Everything’s fine.



INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY--Morning.

(Rickie sees Rayanne in the hallway.)

Rickie: Rayanne. (Rayanne comes over to Rickie.) I need to talk to you.

Rayanne: Hey, I kind of need to tell you something.

Rickie: What?

Rayanne: I’ve been hearing people talk about you living with Katimski.

Rickie: Yeah, I heard. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.

Rayanne: I’ve been telling people it’s not true, and not to spread it all over school.

Rickie: You know if the wrong people find out, Mr. Katimski will get fired.

Rayanne: So what are you going to do?

Rickie: I don’t know. (Pause) I mean, I can’t have Mr. Katimski get fired because of me. (Pause) I can’t stay with him anymore.

Rayanne: Where you gonna go? To the Chase’s?

Rickie: I can’t just show up on their doorstep looking for, like… a place to live.

Rayanne: Well, you can stay with me for a couple of days…. until you figure something out.

Rickie: What about Amber, and….Rusty?

Rayanne: Don’t worry about it, Amber hasn’t been home much lately. (Pause) So your staying with me tonight. (Pause) So what about your mom? Are you going to see her?

Rickie: With what’s been going on, I haven’t really thought about it. I don’t know if I can, like, deal with her right now.

Rayanne: Well, I would be happy to tell her to take a hike of you.

Rickie: Rayanne.



INT. GIRL’S BATHROOM--Afternoon.

(Rayanne is at the mirror trying to fix her hair.)

Rayanne: Does anyone in here have any Aspirin? I have such a splitting headache.

(Some girl hands her some. Angela comes walking in.)

Rayanne: Angela, um….I sort of need to talk to you. It’s about Rickie.

Angela: What about him?

Rayanne: (She looks around the bathroom.) Hang on a minute.

(The bell rings, and when the bathroom empties out, Rayanne comes over to Angela.)

Rayanne: I talked to Rickie, and he needs our help.

Angela: What has he told you?

Rayanne: That people are talking about him and Katimski.

Angela: I know, I heard.

Rayanne: Well then I guess he told you he can’t stay at Katimski’s anymore.

Angela: No… wait, Rickie talked to you about that?

Rayanne: Yeah, why wouldn’t he?

Angela: No reason.

Rayanne: Rickie doesn’t want Katimski to get fired because of him. So….he can’t stay there anymore.

Angela: What’s he going to do…where is he going to stay?

Rayanne: He’s going to stay me for a couple of days, but I don’t know what he’s going to do after that. (Pause) Do you think he could stay at your house for a while?

Angela: I don’t know, I’ll talk to my parents. I think they’ll let him stay with us.

Rayanne: Good, I know you would help.

Angela: (VO) Why would Rickie talk to Rayanne, but not me about what’s going on with him? Why didn’t he just ask me if he could stay at my house?


INT. TUTORING ROOM--Afternoon

(Brian and Jordan are working together.)

Brian: Let’s look at the finale “e” rule. When a word ends in the letter “e”, the vowel before the “e” is a long vowel. Like in the words, cake, wave and rope. The “e” at the end of the word is silent, it’s just there to tell us that the vowel is long.

Jordan: Yeah, I remember some of this stuff, that’s an easy one to remember.

(Rayanne, walking past the doorway, she sees Jordan and Brian, she goes over to them.)

Rayanne: Hey, Catalano, you missed Tino’s party last night, it was pretty crazy.

Jordan: Yeah, I heard. (Pause) What are you doing here after school?

Rayanne: Maybe I wanted to stop by and see Brian. Ya’know he felt me up yesterday.

Jordan: (Looking at Brian.) Alright.

Brian: I did not…. uh…I accidentally…

Rayanne: Accidentally…yeah right. Ya’know you been wanting to do that, like, forever.

(One of the other tutors, disturbed by the noise, turns to Rayanne.)

Tutor: Would you please take it somewhere else, some of us are working here.

Rayanne: (Quietly so only Brian and Jordan can hear her.) Maybe she should work on a social life.

Brian: You should get to play rehearsal, we’ve got work to do.

Rayanne: Maybe you should work on a social life.

Jordan: She could be your tutor for that, right Graff.

Rayanne: I’m not sure little Bri here could handle one of my lessons.

(Jordan and Rayanne laugh.)

Brian: (Embarrassed) Can we get back to work?

Rayanne: (As she heads out the door.) Later.

Jordan: So, what’s up with you and Graff?

Brian: What…. nothing.

Jordan: So,….you felt her up, how far did you get?

Brian: I didn’t feel her up, I just bumped into her by accident.

Jordan: Oh…. Well are you going to make a move on her? Like I said before, she would be perfect for you.

Brian: I’m not sure she’s my type.

Jordan: So what’s that got to do with it?

Brian: I don’t think I could just….. ya’know…do that…with a girl I didn’t ….like, care about.

Jordan: Oh (Pause) What about that girl, who’s phone number I got for you? What’s her name?

Brian: Jen. She’s a junior.

Jordan: So you called her?

Brian: No ….she’s in my calculus class.

Jordan: Yeah, so….

Brian: I don’t know, um… what if I , like, make a fool of myself. I would have to see her everyday in class. And she’s older than me, she wouldn’t want to got out with a sophomore.

Jordan: Older is good…..she could like, teach you things……

Brian: Maybe we should get back to work.

Jordan: Why don’t I look over the Phonics manual, and you go over and talk to Jen.

(The camera zooms out, and we see Angela in the background, she comes up to them.)

Angela: (To both of them.) Hey. (Pause) Um…how’s the tutoring going?

Jordan: Pretty good. (Pause) I’m trying to teach Brian how to get a girl’s phone number.

Angela: (Kind of laughing a little.) Oh….how’s that going?

Brian: Oh…nice Chase.

Angela: Well it is kind of funny.

Jordan: Brian was about to go over and talk to that girl. (Jordan pointing over at Jen.)

Angela: (She has a surprised look on her face.) Really. (Pause) Who is she?

Brian: Her name is Jen. She’s in my calculus class. I don’t really know her.

Angela: (Looking over at Jen.) I don’t think I’ve seen her before.

Jordan: She a junior.

Angela: (VO) It’s strange, the thought of Brian talking to other girls. Like, I didn’t expect it, or whatever.

Angela: Oh…..good….I mean, she looks nice, you should talk to her. (Not sure how she feels about Brian talking to another girl.) Um….I got to go. (She slowly turns and walks out.)



INT. SCHOOL AUDITORIUM--After school

(The cast of Our Town is rehearsing a scene.)

Mr. Katimski: Stop, stop, stop right there. Rayanne………you got that line wrong ….again.

(Katimski gets up from the front row , and walks up to the stage, motioning Rayanne over to the edge of the stage.)

Mr. Katimski: Rayanne, have you been studying your lines?

Rayanne: Yeah.(Pause) I mean, I have been studying them…..some.

Mr. Katimski: This is the second day in a row now that you have been…..distracted. (Pause) Rayanne, I need you to know your lines. (Pause) You need to put more time into learning them. (Pause) Gee wiz…… it’s just that you have some much natural talent, I hate to see you…… waste it.

(The camera pans over to Angela and Rickie, standing offstage.)

Angela: Rickie, about earlier, I know you don’t want to talk about it …..not with me anyway, but I just want to help.

Rickie: I know, I didn’t mean to….

Angela: I know…. Rayanne told me you are going to leave Katimski’s.

Rickie: I have to, I can’t let him get fired because of me. I could, like never, forgive myself if that happened. So I’m going to stay with Rayanne, until I can figure something out.

Angela: I’m going to ask me parents if you can stay with us. I mean, would you like me to?

Rickie: I don’t know Angela. I mean…. your parents have been great, but I don’t think it’s fair for me to like…

Angela: Rickie, you need a place to live, and I sure they want to help. So I’ll ask them.

Rickie: Okay. I mean….. thank you.


INT. CHASE DINNING ROOM--Early evening.

(The Chase family is eating dinner.)

Danielle: At school today, this kid got sick…..like all over the floor.

Graham: Danielle!

Angela: Danielle, that’s gross. Why would you say that at dinner?

Patty: How about about a new topic to duscuss. (Pause) How was everyone’s day? (To Graham.) How are things going with the restaurant?

Graham: Pretty good. In a few more weeks, it just might start to look like a restaurant.

Patty: So the construction is going well, that’s good. (Pause) How’s Hallie doing?

Graham: Oh, she had a little disagreement with the contractor, but you know Hallie, if she’s not schmoozing someone, she’s arguing with them.

Angela: Yeah, that sounds like Hallie.

Patty: How about the investors, are happy with the way things are going?

Graham: I’m not sure, we’ll find out. We’re having dinner with the investers tomorrow night., to give them a progress report. I think they’ll be happy with the way things are going.

Patty: Well, that’s good. (Pause) How about you Angela, how was your day?

Angela: It was okay. (Pause) Well not really, I need to ask you something.

Patty: What is it sweetheart? Did something happen at school today?

Angela: Sort of, it’s about Rickie. (Pause) He can’t stay with Mr. Katimski anymore.

Graham: Why not, what happened?

Angela: He doesn’t want Mr. Katimski to get fired, because of him, so he is leaving there tonight.

Patty: Is he alright? Where’s he going to stay?

Angela: He’s staying at Rayanne’s until he can figure something out.

Danielle: Why doesn’t he stay with us? I like Rickie.

Patty: I like Rickie too. We all do.

Angela: That’s what I wanted to ask you. Can Rickie stay with us?

Patty: Well I don’t know, your father and I would have to talk about it.



INT. KATIMSKI’S APARTMENT--Evening.

(Katimski and Rickie walk into the apartment, Joseph is on the couch reading the paper.)

Joseph: So you two, how was your day?

Katimski: Good. I was grading some test papers today, I can see some improvement in a lot of my students.

Joseph: Oh that’s good. (Pause) How about you Rickie?

(Rickie doesn’t answer the question, he just sits down in the chair.)

Joseph: Is there something wrong Rickie?

Rickie: You two know how much I appreciate you letting me live here, giving me a place to stay….a home.

Katimski: Yes.

Rickie: I could never repay you for what you have done for me, not even in like, a million years.

Joseph: You don’t have to repay us, we glad we can help.

Katimski: What is it, Rickie?

Rickie: Well….um… it’s just …I can’t stay here anymore.

Joseph: What? Why not? What’s going on, are you okay?

Katimski: Yes, what happened? Why can’t you live here anymore?

Rickie: People are starting to talk, you know….at school.

Katimski: Who, and what are they talking about?

Rickie: Kids at school. They are talking about me living with you.

Joseph: So, what does that mean, why can’t you stay with us?

Rickie: Rumors are starting to spread.

Joseph: What kind of rumors?

Rickie: (Looking at Katimski.) The kind that could get you fired.

Joseph: They aren’t saying that….

Katimski: I was afraid something like this might happen.

Rickie: So, you see, I have to leave.

Katimski: No, you don’t have to leave.

Joseph: We’ll get a lawyer.

Katimski: We’ll fight this.

Rickie: No! (Pause) I can’t have you getting fired because of me. (Rickie starts to cry.) Don’t you understand. You two have been so good to me, you’ve done so much for me. I can’t put you through this. I just couldn’t do that to you.

Katimski: You aren’t doing this to us. We knew what could happen when we took you in. I accepted it. I’m glad that you are here. (Pause) I don’t want you to leave…..not because of this.

(Rickie gets up and walks to his bedroom and starts to pack his things. Katimski and Joseph follow him to the bedroom.)

Katimski: What are you doing?

Rickie: I’m packing my stuff.

Joseph: You’re planning to leave tonight? Where would you go?

Katimski: Where are going?

Rickie: To Rayanne Graff’s house.

Katimski: Don’t go, not now.

Rickie: I have to.

Katimski: If you have to go, wait until we can find you a better place to go. (Pause) Maybe back to the Chase’s. (Pause) I don’t think Rayanne’s house is the best place for you.

Joseph: I agree. At least wait until we can figure out where the best place for you to go would be.

Rickie: The sooner I leave, the better. Besides, I already decided, I’m sorry, but I have to go.

(Rickie picks up his bags and starts for the door.)

Rickie: Thank you two so much for all of the things you’ve done for me. (With tears in his eyes.) Bye.

(Rickie walks out the door, and we now just see Katimski and Joseph standing in front of the closed door.)

END OF DAY 2

DAY 3

INT. CHASE’S KITCHEN--Morning.

(Patty is packing lunches for the girls, Angela walks in.)

Patty: Good morning. (Pause) Your running a little late.

Angela: I know, I just going to grab a muffin, and get going. Jordan is picking me up.

Patty: Your father and I were talking, and we decided that Rickie can stay with us. At least until he can find something more permanent.

Angela: That’s great. When can he move in.

Patty: He can move in today if he wants to.

Angela: Thanks mom. (She hugs her mom. We hear a car horn outside.) Oh, that’s Jordan, I gotta go, bye.

(Angela runs out the front door. The scene cuts to Jordan’s car. As Angela approches Jordan’s car, she is surprised to see Brian Krakow in the back seat.)

Jordan: Hey.

Angela: (As she gets in the car.) Hi.(Pause) Hi Brian.

Brian: Hey, Angela.

Jordan: Uh, I saw Brian when I pulled up, so I thought I would give him a ride.

Angela: Oh…okay.

Angela: (VO) It was strange to see Brian and Jordan together yesterday talking about girls, but to see them together outside of school, that’s just plain weird.

Angela: So do you two hang out together now? Are you going to start going to late night parties together? Maybe Brian could join your band. You guys need a sax player don’t you. (She starts to laugh.)

Brian: Yeah I would fit right in, with my corduroy pants and sweater.

Jordan: Yeah, you would have the groupies all over you.

(They all start to laugh.)


INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY--Morning.

(Rickie and Rayanne are at Rayanne’s locker, Sharon and Delia walk up to them.)

Sharon: (To Rayanne.) I see you made it here on time today.

Rayanne: Well that’s Rickie’s fault. He has like this, annoying habit of wanting to be on time for school.

Delia: Hi Rickie, it’s nice to see you. How have you been?

Rickie: Okay, I guess. (Pause) I’m sorry I haven’t been around much, maybe we could hang out this weekend or something.

Delia: I would like that.

Sharon: Well we have to go, see you later.

Delia: Bye.

Rickie: Bye.

(Sharon and Delia walk down the hall to Sharon’s locker.)

Rayanne: Well Vasquez, if I would have known you would make breakfest, I would have asked you to move in a long time ago.

Rickie: Uh…it was just frozen waffles, Rayanne.

Rayanne: I don’t think I’ve ever had waffles…. in the morning, I mean.

(Angela, Jordan and Brian walk up to Rickie and Rayanne.)

Angela: Rickie, my parents said you can stay with us…if you want to.

Rayanne: That’s great. See, I knew Angelika would come through for you.

Angela: So do you want to……stay my house?

Rickie: Uh…yes. Yes, I would like to…thank you.

Angela: You don’t have to thank me. (Pause) So you can move in today, if you want.

Rickie: Uh, sure.

Jordan: ( To Rickie.) I could give you a ride to Angela’s.

Brian: I’m glade you have a place to stay.

Rickie: Me too.

Brian: I got stop by my locker before homeroom, so I’ll so you later.

(Brian starts to walk off.)

Jordan: Hey wait up, can I barrow your “Death of a salesman”?

(Jordan heads off to catch up with Brian.)

Rickie: (To Angela.) So, I guess I’ll be at your house sometime after school.

Angela: It’ll be nice to have you staying with us again.

Rayanne: So Rickie, your leaving me, who’s going to make me breakfast tomorrow?

Rickie: I’m sorry, but your on your own tomorrow. (To Angela.) So, Brian is hanging out with you and Jordan now?

Angela: Brian and Jordan have been together a lot lately. I guess it’s because they have tutoring together. Anyway, it’s weird, them two together.

Rayanne: Yeah, talk about the odd couple. (Pause) Maybe Bri will break out of his shell if he hangs out with Catalano long enough.

Rickie: Brian break out of his shell, uh, doubtful.

Rayanne: I don’t know, with the right person’s help, maybe he could.

Angela: Maybe.


INT. KATIMSKI'S CLASS--Morning

(Rickie looks into the room and sees only Katimski, he walks to Katimski at his desk.)

Katimski: Rickie, how are you?

Rickie: I’m fine. (Pause) I just wanted to let you know that I’m going to stay with the Chase’s.

Katimski: Good…..I think that’s……best. (Pause) Rickie, I really wish things could be…… different. That you didn’t have to…..

Rickie: I know, me too.

Katimski: So what are you going to do…long term? Are you still on the waiting list for the Pride House?

Rickie: I don’t know where I’m going to be long term. Maybe at the Pride House, I mean, I’m still on the list.

Katimski: What about your mother?, Have you talk to her,? What about staying with her?

(Before Rickie can answer, some students come in the door, Rickie walks away without answering the question.)


INT. GIRL’S BATHROOM--Afternoon.

(Rickie and Rayanne are talking as Rayanne touches up her makeup.)

Rayanne: I’m glad and all that your going to be staying at Angela’s house, but am I going to get to see you anymore?

Rickie: It won’t be like that, we’ll still hang out.

Rayanne: So, I know you really don’t want to talk about it, but have you talk to your mom?

Rickie: I don’t mind talking about it, well with you anyway.

Rayanne: Are you going to see her?

Rickie: Katimski asked me if I would stay with her.

Rayanne: He obvious doesn’t know your mother. How she’s never been there for you.

Rickie: She says that she wants to be here for me now. She told me she wants things to change between us, and that she wants to come here, to spend some time with me…..to like, get to know me, or whatever.


Rayanne: And you believe her?

Rickie: I’m not saying I, like, believe her. but what if she…..

Rayanne: What if, nothing. She’s never been there for you, and she never will be. Your better off without her, and you know it. (Pause) Like I told you before, forget about her.

Rickie: What like you forgot about your father?

Rayanne: Exactly.

Rickie: Like you have just forgotten about your father.

Rayanne: What do you mean? I have forgotten him, he mens nothing to me.

Rickie: Yeah right. I saw how excited you were last year when he told you he was going to come see you on your birthday. Or how happy you are when he calls you, yeah you’ve forgotten all about him.

Rayanne: (Not know what to say.) Well we’re not talking about me, we’ve talking about you and your mother.

Rickie: It’s just….. what if…

Rayanne: I know. Just don’t get your hopes up, it hurts…I know.


INT. CHASE HOUSE--Early evening.

(There is a knock on the front door, Angela answers the door, Danielle runs up beheind her to see who it is. Angela opens the door.)

Danielle: Rickie’s here.

Angela: Come in.

(Patty and Graham come to the door greet Rickie.)

Patty: Hi Rickie.

Rickie: Hi.

(Patty gives Rickie a hug, and Graham puts his hand on Rickie’s shoulder.)

Rickie: Wow, you guys sure know how to make someone feel welcome.

Graham: Well you are welcome here. Let me get your bags.

Patty: Here I’ll take your coat.

Rickie: You don’t have to. I can….

Patty: No, your our guest.

Angela: (She grabs Rickie’s arm, and starts to pull him.) We’ll be in the
kitchen.

Patty: Don’t make a mess for me to clean up later.

Angela: I won’t.

(Angela, Rickie and Danielle head off to the kitchen.)

Patty: (To Graham.) I feel so bad for him. His family not wanting him.

Graham: I know, I feel the same way.

Patty: Yeah, but you don’t know what it’s really like, having your biological family not want you.

(Patty upset, turns and goes upstairs.)

Graham: Patty.

(There is a knock on the front door, Graham, opens the door.)

Graham: Oh…hi Brian.

Brian: Uh...hi, is Angela home?

Graham: Yes, she’s in the kitchen, go ahead in.

(Brian walks ino the kitchen.)

Brian: Hi.

Danielle: Hi Brian.

Brian: Hey.(Pause) Um….I sort of lent Jordan my copy of “Death of a salesman”, so I was wondering if I could use yours?

Angela: Oh, sure you can use mine.

Danielle: Me and Angela are making dinner for Rickie tonight.

Brian: Oh…that’s nice.

Angela: Why don’t you stay for dinner Brian, we’re going to make a ton of food.

Brian: Um sure why not, I mean, yes I would like to stay for dinner, if it’s okay with your parents.



INT. PATTY AND GRAHAM’S BEDROOM--Early evening.

(Graham enters the bedroom and sees Patty sitting on the bed.)

Graham: Patty, are you alright?

Patty: I’m fine.

(Graham goes over and sits next to Patty on the bed.)

Graham: Are you thinking about your biological parents again?

Patty: Every time I think about Rickie, and his situation, it brings back all my feelings about my biological parents. (Pause) It’s silly for me to compare my situation to Rickie’s, he’s been through so much.

Graham: It’s not silly. (Pause) You have questions that you don’t have answers to, and I know that’s hard for you. (He puts his arm around her, to comfort her.) Do you think you might want to look for them again?

Patty: I don’t know…… maybe.


INT. CHASE KITCHEN--Evening.

(Angela, Danielle, Rickie and Brian are all talking.)

Angela: (To Brian.) So , did you ever talk to that girl in your calculus class?

Rickie: What girl?

Angela: There’s this girl who is one of the after school tutors, that Jordan is trying to get him to talk to. She’s also in Brian’s calculus class.

Danielle: (To Brian.) What’s calculus like, is it hard?

Angela: Well, did you talk to her?

Rickie: Wait, what’s her name?

Angela: Jen, she’s a junior.

Rickie: I don’t think I know any juniors named Jen.

Brian: Is this a private conversation…… because I was just wondering.

(Rickie and Angela laugh, as Graham comes into the kitchen.)

Graham: Something smells good.

Danielle: We’re making spaghetti.

Graham: Oh, I wish I could stay for dinner, but I’m having dinner with the investors tonight.

(Patty comes into the kitchen.)

Angela: Is it okay if Brian stays for dinner?

Patty: Sure.

Graham: Well, I have to get going, bye.

(Graham heads out the front door.)

Patty: Is there something I can do to help? Maybe stir the sauce.

Angela: No, that’s okay, I can do it.

Patty: How about I make the salad.

Angela: Danielle is going to make the salads.

Patty: Well is there anything I can do to help?

Angela: No we can handle it, and we won’t make a mess.

(There is a few moments of silence, then Patty finally gets it, the teenagers want to be left alone.)

Patty: Okay, I’ll be in the living room. (Pause) Oh, grandpa Chuck is coming over in a little bit, I hope you two girls can tear yourselves away long enough to say hello to your grandfather.


INT. THE RESTAURANT--Evening.

(Graham and Hallie are in the restaurant alone.)

Hallie: Did the plumbers finish in the bathrooms?

Graham: No, not yet.

Hallie: Okay, no need to show them the bathrooms then. Where’s that switch to turn the fountain on?

Graham: Over here, I’ll get it. (He turns it on, and the fountain comes to life.)

Hallie: Oh, that looks great.

Graham: I wish the lights above the fountain were working, that would give the investors a good feel for what the atmosphere will be like in here.

Hallie: It’s still has a romantic feel, don’t you think? (Hallie steps a little closer to Graham.)

Graham: (A little nervous, not sure what to say.) Uh…what time are the investors going to be here to see the place? (Graham slowly steps away from Hallie.)

Hallie: (Now she is not sure what to say or do, she looks at her watch..) Um….they should be here any minute.

(Both Graham and Hallie are just standing there now in an awkward silence.)


INT. CHASE HOUSE--Evening.

(After a knock on the door, Patty goes to the door and opens it.)

Patty: Daddy, how are you?

Chuck: It’s snowing out there, your sidewalk is starting to get slippery, someone could slip and fall.

Patty: Oh…I’ll have Graham take care of it when he gets home.

Chuck: For a guy without a job, he sure seems to be out a lot.

Patty: He has a job.

Chuck: I mean a real job, not playing around with some restaurant.

Patty: Well that is a real job. (Pause) He’s meeting with the restaurant’s investers tonight.

Chuck: Investors? So he’s not using your money to start this restaurant? (Pause) Well, that’s smart, better to risk someone else’s money.

(Chuck walks into the dinning room, and see all the kids in the kitchen.)

Chuck: I thought you only had two children, now you have a house full of kids. (Pause) Oh, I remember when you would bring your friends over. You didn’t want me around when you were with your friends.

Patty: (Quietly to herself.) I know the feeling.

Chuck: What’s that?

Patty: Nothing.

(Chuck walks into the living room and sits down on the couch. He puts on his glasses, and picks up a manila folder, he starts to read it.)

Chuck: So you had some questions about pensions.

Patty: Yes, I had some questions about the pensions you set up, (Pause) but there was something else I wanted to talk about.

Chuck: Well, I’m right here, what is it?

Patty: It’s about my biological parents.

Chuck: What about them?

Patty: I’m thinking about looking for them again. (Pause) I want to make sure that you are okay with this. You know how much you and mom mean to me, I just don’t want you to think….

Chuck: I know. (Pause) Patricia, if this is something you feel you have to do, your mother and I will understand.

Patty: Thank you daddy. (Patty hugs her father.)

END OF DAY 3
Last edited by stburr91 on Jan 3rd 2007, 3:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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stburr91
Liberty High Student
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Post by stburr91 » Jan 3rd 2007, 3:39 pm

DAY 4

INT. CHASE KITCHEN--Morning.

(Graham and Patty are drinking coffee.)

Patty: You got in pretty late last night. How did dinner with the investors go?

Graham: Good. They are very happy with the progress we are making.

Patty: How’s Hallie, did she get into any more arguments with anyone? How are you two getting along?

Graham: (He has a slightly guilty look on his face.) Me and Hallie, um….we’re getting along fine.

(Angela and Rickie walk into the kitchen.)

Rickie: (To Patty and Graham.) Good morning.

Graham: Good morning.

Patty: How did you sleep?

Rickie: Fine. (Pause) So, can I make anyone breakfast?

Graham: No thank you, I have to get going.

Patty: Me too. (Pause) You know, you don’t have to make breakfast.

Rickie: I know, but I don’t mind. Actually, I kind of enjoy it.

(Danielle comes running in.)

Danielle: I want breakfast!

Rickie: What would you like?

Danielle: Your pancakes.

Rickie: Angela, how about you?

Angela: Pancakes, sound good.

Patty: If Rickie is going to make breakfast, than you two girls make sure that you do the dishes, okay.

Angela: Okay mom.


INT. SCHOOL PARKING LOT--Morning.

(Angela and Rickie are getting out of Jordan’s car.)

Rickie: (To Jordan.) So, thanks for the ride.

Jordan: No problem.

Rickie: (To Angela.) I’m going to go find Rayanne, I’ll see you later.

Angela: Alright, bye.

Jordan: So….the band is rehearsing tonight…you should come check us out.

Angela: I’ll have to ask my parents if it’s okay. They don’t like me going out on school nights.

Jordan: Oh….right. (Pause) I was hoping you would come, I mean….to let us know what you think of our set. (Pause) So…um… do you want to meet me later… ya’know in the boiler room?

Angela: Okay. (Pause) I’ll see you later. Bye.


INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY--Morning.

(Rickie and Rayanne are at Rickie’s at locker.)

Rayanne: What’s up, how’s life at the Chase’s?

Rickie: They’re great, they made me feel so welcome there.

Rayanne: That’s cool. (Pause) I kind of miss having you stay with me. I mean….I miss your waffles.

Rickie: Don’t worry, you’ll still get to see me. You can’t get rid of me that easily.

Rayanne: It’s just that, Amber’s never, like, home anymore, she’s always out with Rusty. (Pause) It was nice to have someone around, ya’know, someone to have, like, breakfast and dinner with.

Rickie: Kind of like having a family.

Rayanne: Yeah. (Pause) So anyway, maybe I’ll see you after school today.

Rickie: Yeah, sure.

(The scene cuts to Brian at his locker down the hall, as Jordan comes over to him.)

Jordan: Hey Brian, can I keep your “Death of a salesman” a little longer, I still on chapter 4.

Brian: Sure, keep it as long as you need it.

Jordan: Oh hey, I can’t make it to tutoring today, I have to go to work for a couple of hours, so…

Brian: Oh, okay.

Jordan: (Looking down the hall, seeing Rayanne.) So, there’s Graff, you should go talk to her.

Brian: (Looking down at Rayanne.) I don’t know.

(The scene cuts back to Rickie and Rayanne.)

Rickie: There’s Brian and Jordan together again.

Rayanne: Why are they staring at us. (Pause) I’m going to go see what’s up.

Rickie: I have to get to scosh, I’ll see you later.

(Rayanne goes up to Brian and Jordan.)

Rayanne: I saw you guys checking me out, like what your look’n at?

Jordan: Yeah, Brian was scoping you.

Brian: What! I was just… I mean …

Jordan: He wants to know why you’re always messing with him. I told him it’s because you like him.
Rayanne: What! It’s just…. It’s because I….

Jordan: Later. (He walks away.)

(Brian and Rayanne stand there in silence for a moment.)

Rayanne: I gotta go.

Brian: Me too.

(They both walk off in opposite directions.)


GIRL’S BATHROOM--Morning.

(Rayanne comes into the bathroom, Sharon is touching up her makeup in the mirror. Rayanne goes over and sits on the windowsill. After a few moments of silence.)

Sharon: What?

Rayanne: I didn't say anything.

Sharon: Yeah, and that’s not like you…so what is it?

(Rayanne jumps down off the windowsill, and starts to pace back and forth.)

Rayanne: Somebody said I like Brian Krakow, like that’s not the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever heard in your life. I mean…. I can’t even stand Krakow.

Sharon: Who said that?

Rayanne: Jordan.

Sharon: Why would he say that?

Rayanne: Because he’s seriously demented, I don‘t know. (Pause) Me and Brian Krakow, that’s the stupidest thing I’ve heard.

Sharon: So, you don’t like Brian?

Rayanne: Hello Cherski, have you been listening?

Sharon: I don’t know, it seemed like you kinda liked him.

Rayanne: (Speechless, she just stands there for a second with a blank look on her face.) I gotta go.

(Rayanne walks out.)



INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY--Afternoon.

(Rickie and Angela are at Angela’s locker)

Rickie: So, you and Rayanne seem to be getting along a little better.

Angela: I don’t know. ((Pause) I still don’t know if I’m ready to forgive her.

Rickie: Well you know she’s really sorry for what she did.

Angela: I know, but I’m not sure if that’s like, enough. I mean, I trusted her.

Rickie: Well I hope you can trust her again some day, I know that’s what she wants. Losing your friendship really hurt her.

Angela: I know. (Pause) It hurt me too.

(Jordan comes over to Angela and Rickie.)

Jordan: (To both of them.) Hey. (To Angela.) Could you um… meet me in a little bit?

Angela: Sure.

(Jordan walks away.)

Rickie: Meet him in a little bit. Where would you, like, meet him….. let me see…maybe the boiler room.

Angela: Shut up. (She hits him with a playful slap.)

(Angela heads off to meet Jordan in the boiler room. The camera fallows her down the hall, and we see Brian at his locker. Angela goes over to Brian’s locker, and leans one shoulder against the locker next to his.)

Angela: Oh…. I just came over to get my “Death of a salesman” from you. (She pulls her hair back, and tucks it behind her ear.) I mean, you were technically supposed to return it this morning.



INT. CHASE KITCHEN--Early evening.

(Patty and Graham are putting away groceries.)

Graham: You’ve been pretty quite, what’s going on?

Patty: I’ve been thinking.

Graham: About?

Patty: My parents.

Graham: Chuck and Vivian, or your biological parents?

Patty: Both. (Pause) Part of me wants to find my biological parents.

Graham: Once things at the restaurant slow down, I could help you look for them. We could hire that private detective that Neil knows.

Patty: I don’t know, I guess, I don’t really want to think about it right now.

(Angela and Rickie come into the kitchen.)

Angela: Mom, dad, I have a favor to ask.

Patty: What is it.

Angela: I know you don’t like me going out on school nights, but I would like to go see Jordan’s band play tonight.

Graham: Where are they playing?

Angela: At the loft. I won’t be out late, can I go?

Patty: Okay, you can go, but you have to be home by ten.

Angela: I will be. Thanks.



INT. ANGELA’S ROOM--Early evening.

(Angela and Rickie are talking.)

Angela: What should I wear tonight to go see Jordan‘s band? (She’s holding up two different pair of pants.) Which one?

Rickie: That one. (Pointing to a top in her closet.) With this top.

Angela: You’re coming with me aren’t you?

Rickie: I don’t know, would it be weird to have me there. I mean, what if you two want to hang out after his band plays.

Angela: It won’t be weird. Besides, I’ll probably have to get home by the time his band is done playing anyway.

(Angela goes over to her mirror, and starts to put on her makeup. Rickie goes over to her, he picks up some lipstick.)

Rickie: Here, this one.

Angela: Oh, that’s perfect. (Pause) So, um….Rickie…the other day, you said you couldn’t talk to me, that I didn’t understand, what don’t I understand. (Pause) I mean, why don’t you feel you can tall to me?

Rickie: It’s not like that, I can talk to you….. just not about everything.

Angela: But you can talk to Rayanne.

Rickie: Rayanne gets it, she, understands what it’s like. (Pause) Angela, you have this great family, that’s always, there for you. (Pause) You’ve never been, like…rejected. (Pause) Rayanne feels rejected by her father, and Amber, isn’t always there for her. (Pause) I don’t know, I guess it’s just easier to talk to her about it.

Angela: I guess, I didn’t realize that you two had that in common. (Pause) You’re right Rickie, I don’t understand what it’s like, but just because I don’t completely understand, doesn’t mean I don’t want to help.

Rickie: I know, you’ve been great. I don’t know what I’d do without you.


INT. THE LOFT--Evening.

(Rickie and Angela come in and sit down on a bench. Jordan walks over to them)

Jordan: Hey.

Angela: Hi.

Rickie: Hi.

Jordan: So…I’m glad you could make it. (Pause)We’re start’n to sound pretty good. We got eight songs in our set, and about four or five more we’re working on. That should be enough to start doing some gigs.

Angela: Have you found anywhere to play yet?

Jordan: Not yet, but there’s a couple of places we’re going to check out.

Shane: Come on Catalano, we need to worm up.

(Jordan goes over and picks up his guitar, and the band starts to worm up.)


INT. CHASE HOUSE--Evening.

(There’s a knock on the front door. Patty answers the door.)

Patty: Oh, hi Rayanne.

Rayanne: Hey…Patty. (Pause) Um…is Rickie here?

Patty: No, he’s not. He and Angela went to see Jordan’s band play tonight.

Rayanne: Oh….I thought he was going to be here tonight.

Patty: Was it something important? Would you like me to have him call you when he gets back?

Rayanne: No, I was just wanted to talk ..…un, never mind. I should go.

Patty: Or you could come in…..and talk….if you want to.


INT. CHASE KITCHEN--Evening.

(Rayanne and Patty are talking at the kitchen table.)

Rayanne: So, Rickie says you guys are making him feel really welcome here.

Patty: Well we’re glad we can help.

Rayanne: It’s a shame he had to leave Katimski’s, I know he was happy there. (Pause) Other than a roof over his head, I didn’t have much to offer him at my place. (Pause) You have so much more to offer him here, I mean you have, like, a family, a real family…. he needs that right now.

Patty: What about you? What do you need?

Rayanne: Me, I’m fine, I don’t need anything.

Patty: What about your family?

Rayanne: What family, my dad left years ago, I don’t really even get to see him anymore. (Pause) It’s just me and my mom. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love her and all, it’s just not a real family. (Pause) You’re lucky, ya’know…. to have them…..your family.

Patty: I know. (Pause) Thank you.

Rayanne: For what.

Patty: For reminding me what I have.

(Graham and Denille come into the kitchen.)

Danielle: Hi Rayanne.

Rayanne: Hey.

Graham: (To Rayanne.) Hi. (To Patty.) I going to start dinner.

Patty: Rayanne, would you like to stay for dinner?

Graham: Yeah, why don’t you stay.

Rayanne: No I should get going.

Danielle: Oh come on, stay for dinner, pleeeease.

Rayanne: Well maybe I could stay for, ya’know, a little bit.

Patty: Good.

Danielle: (She grabs Rayanne by the arm.) Come on, I want to show you my room.

(Danielle and Rayanne head upstairs.)

Graham: (Looking at Patty.) You’re smiling, why?

Patty: Because I’m lucky. I have such a wonderful family. (She goes over and hugs Graham.)


INT. THE LOFT--Evening.

(The band finishes it’s set, Jordan comes over to Rickie and Angela.)

Jordan: So, that’s what we have so far.

Angela: That was great.

Rickie: Yeah, you guys sound pretty good. I liked that song “Crimson and Clover”.

Jordan: (Looking at Angela.) Yeah…. it reminds me of this girl I know.

(This makes Angela smile.)


INT. CHASE LIVING ROOM--Evening.

(Rayanne, Patty, Graham and Danielle are all playing Monopoly.)

Danielle: I rolled doubles, I get to roll again. (She rolls again.)

Rayanne: How do you always do that? Are you using loaded dice?


(Graham rolls the dice.)

Danielle: You landed on my property. Let me see, St. James Place with a hotel, that’s $950.

Graham: You can’t give your dad a break, just this once?

Danielle: Nope, pay up.

Graham: That’s most of my money. (To Patty.) Can you give your husband a loan?

Patty: I can’t, she got all my money on my last turn.

Rayanne: She’s so cut throat. You’re rasing a tycoon.

Patty: I know, I hope she’ll support us in our old age, with her fortune.

Rayanne: (To Graham) So, where did you learn to cook? I mean, dinner was great.

Graham: Thanks. I guess I first learned how to cook from my mother. I’ve been cooking so long, I’ve just picked up things here and there.

Rayanne: So, you’re cooking at your own restaurant now?

Graham: Well, we have to get the restaurant open first, but yes, I’ll be cooking there.

Patty: So, Rayanne, did I hear you’ll be in the school play?

Rayanne: Yep.

Graham: Oh yeah, what play are you doing?

Rayanne: Our Town.

Patty: Oh really….in college we did Our Town, I played Mrs.Gibbs. What role do you have?

Rayanne: I’m Emily Webb.

Patty: Oh wow, that’s great. Maybe I’ll go see the play when it opens.

Danielle: It’s your turn Rayanne.

(Rayanne rolls the dice.)

Rayanne: (To Danielle.) Oh, I just missed your property.

Danielle: So, I’m thinking about dying my hair.

Patty: I don’t think so Danielle. You don’t have to do everything Angela does.

Danielle: Not like Angela’s. Just highlights, or maybe a bleached streak in the front, like Rayanne.

Rayanne: No, how about you dye it like, blue or maybe green.

Danielle: No way.

Rayanne: I was thinking about putting some purple streaks in my hair.

Danielle: Really?

Rayanne: Yeah, why not?

Patty: Hey, don’t give her any ideas.

Danielle: I heard Angela say she was going to dye her hair again.

Rayanne: Well her hair did look pretty wicked when she dyed it.

Graham: Wicked, that’s a good thing now? So If I dyed my hair, maybe spiked it, would that be wicked?

(Patty, Graham and Rayanne chuckle.)

Rayanne: Yeah, I say go for it.

Graham: Would that make me a cool dad?

Danielle: Uh…no.

Graham: Oh.. So you’re an expert on what’s cool? Well then, are you cool? (He grabs Danielle, and start to tickle her.)

(Rickie comes in the front door.)

Patty: (To Rickie.) Hi.

Danielle: (Laughing) Dad, stop.

Graham: No not until you say I’m cool.

Danielle: (Still laughing.) Stop.

Graham: (He stops tickling her.) We’ll ask Rayanne. Am I cool?

Rayanne: Definitely.

Rickie: (To Rayanne.) Hey. (To Graham and Patty.) Angela’s outside,
um….saying goodbye to Jordan.



INT. JORDAN’S CAR--Evening.

(Angela and Jordan are making out in the front seat.)

Angela: I gotta go.

Jordan: Okay.

Angela: (She starts to kiss him again, then stops.) I really should go.

Jordan: Okay, I’ll see you tomorr….

(She starts to kiss him again.)

Angela: I got to go. You were great tonight, I mean you and your band. Bye.

(She kisses him one last time, then heads inside.)



INT.CHASE LIVING ROOM--Evening.

(Patty, Graham, Danielle, Rickie and Rayanne are all laughing, having a good time.)

Angela: (Surprised to see Rayanne.) Oh…hi, Rayanne.

Rayanne: Hey.

Patty: So you’re finilly done saying goodbye to Jordan.

Graham: Did you have fun tonight?

Angela: Yeah, it was fun. (Pause) I going to get something to eat.

(Angela heads into the kitchen, Rickie follows her.)

Graham: Hey, I put chili in the fridge for you two.

(The scene cuts to Angela and Rickie in the kitchen.)

Angela: (Quietly so only Rickie can hear her.) What’s she doing here?

Rickie: I don’t know, I think she’s like…lonely. (Pause) When I came in, and I saw her with your family, I’ve never seen her happier. You know, that’s what she’s always wanted…a family.

(Angela and Rickie come back into the living room.)

Rayanne: Oh…um…I should get going.

Danielle: You don’t have to go yet, do you?

Graham: Yeah, we never had dessert, I made apple crumb pie.

Rayanne: Yeah, but I should probably….go.

Angela: No, why don’t you stay.

Rayanne: (With a smile.) Okay.

Graham: Good. (Pause) Who wants pie.

Dannielle: I do, I do.

Angela: (VO) I don’t know if things will ever go back to the way they were with me and Rayanne, but I think I’m ready to get past what she did. I think Rayanne does a lot of the things she does, because she’s lonely or whatever. (Pause) I mean, I feel bad for Rayanne and Rickie, that they don’t have what I have. That they have like…… missing pieces, in their lives, and I don’t know if they’ll every find them.

FADE OUT


This episode is different that the first one I did, I didn't write much about Angela and Jordan. I know a lot of fanfic readers like to read about Angela and Jordan, but since there is no shortage of fanfics out there that are primarily about these two, I wanted to make sure I wrote storylines for the other characters. The next episode will get back to the Angela, Jordan and Brian storyline.

Anyway, please let me know what you think, any and all feedback is appreciated.

Thanks

Steve
Last edited by stburr91 on Mar 7th 2007, 2:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by Jody Barsch* » Jan 7th 2007, 10:36 pm

Angela: You know his name is Brian, not Brain.
* I loved that

(She kisses him, he kisses her back, but only for a few moments, subconsciously he is still not completely
* That could be an interesting aspect to further explore

Rayanne: Watch where you're going Krakow. What are you trying to do, cop a feel?
Brian: Uh, hardly.
Rayanne: (She moves in real close to him.) So you’re saying you don't want to touch me?
Brian: Yes. I mean no. (Kind of blushing, he pulls back.) You know what I mean.
Rayanne: (With a smirk on her face.) Yeah, I know what you mean.
* Nice

Patty: He probably could. (Pause) Well with him and Joseph being…..(Pause) Well that complicates things.
* I liked the simple wording here

Sharon: Are you just now getting to school? You missed first period.
Rayanne: (Digging through her bag.) Yeah, I got home from Tino’s kind of late last night.
Sharon: Partying on a school night…..real smart, Rayanne.
Rayanne: Cherski, we went through this yesterday. Everything’s cool.
Sharon: Oh, I can see that. You show up late for school looking like…..that. (Rayanne looks disheveled.)
Rayanne: That’s what makeup and hairspray are for.
Sharon: Maybe you should spend more time fixing your life….. instead of covering it up.

Rayanne: Oh nice, Cherski.
Sharon: (She turns and faces Rayanne.) Look, I’m just trying to help.(Pause) You look like you could use some….
* The fixing/covering was very effective (although it might be a little too early in their relationship for Sharon to start parenting Rayanne. Also, How much does Sharon really know about Rayanne’s past behavior (other than the general knowledge that an overdose occurred, and that the thing with Jordan involved alcohol)?)

Rayanne: So, there was this wicked party Saturday night, I haven't had that much fun, in like, forever. Tino was there, you know Tino right?
Sharon: Uh....no.
Rayanne: Any way, we did the craziest thing, we....
Sharon: Wait, are you drinking again?
Rayanne: A little.
Sharon: Rayanne, remember what happened last time you were, drinking.
Rayanne: Man, you sound like Rickie. So what if I drink. (Pause) Why shouldn't I have some fun?
Sharon: Are you … having fun?
Rayanne: Definitely.
(She says this, more to convince herself that Sharon.)
* Nice exchange. I like Rayanne’s doubt. (Still not sure about Sharon actively admonishing Rayanne yet)

Rickie: She heard about my aunt and uncle leaving, she wants to know if I'm like, okay or whatever.
Rayanne: (Feeling protective of Rickie.) Isn't she a little late for that! Who the hell is she! She never seemed to care before.
Rickie: She wants to see me.
Rayanne: What.... you're not going to see her, are you?
Rickie: I don't know.
* I like this a lot. This could be a great storyline

Graham: I don’t think we need tile backsplashes behind the sinks in the restrooms.
Hallie: Yes we do. It looks better, and is makes cleaning easier.
Graham: These are the kind of things that are going to eat up the budget.
Hallie: We’ve got some room in the budget. What we don’t have room in the budget for, is that huge wine cooler.
Graham: The wine has to be chilled, Hallie!
Hallie: I know. We’ll just have to get a smaller cooler.
Graham: We’ve getting that cooler. You’ll just have to make room for it in the budget. We can put in a cheaper.
…Hallie: I know, tell me about it. See that guy over there. (Pointing to a contractor across the room.) I have no idea what he is doing. I know someone told me, but I can't remember.
Graham: That’s the heating and air conditioning contractor, he’s rerouting the heating duct, so we can put the new lights in above the fountain.
Hallie: Good, I’m glad one of us knows what’s going on here.
…Hallie: (To Graham.) There’s Frank.
Graham: Oh hey, Frank, when are you going to know how much it will cost to fix the fountain?
Frank: All you need is a new pump, I’ll make a few calls, and let you know in about an hour. (Pause) I need to know what fixtures you want in the bathrooms, I have to place that order today.
Hallie: Which fixtures did we decide on?
Graham: We haven’t decided on any, yet.
Hallie: Well it looks like we need to decide. Where did I put that catalog?
* Again, as in your last story, nice job with the restaurant lingo

Angela: Brian, the bell’s about to ring, I need to get to sosh. Can it wait?
* Pretty sure it would be Soc. (for Social Studies, which would most likely be her history class since I doubt she’d be taking a sociology elective)

Jordan: She could be your tutor for that, right Graff.
Rayanne: I’m not sure little Bri here could handle one of my lessons.
* I can’t really see Jordan and Rayanne teaming up like this; I’ve never seen them enjoy each other’s company

Brian: I don’t think I could just….. ya’know…do that…with a girl I didn’t ….like, care about.
Jordan: Oh (Pause) What about that girl, who’s phone number I got for you? What’s her name?
Brian: Jen. She’s a junior.
Jordan: So you called her?
Brian: No ….she’s in my calculus class.
Jordan: Yeah, so….
Brian: I don’t know, um… what if I , like, make a fool of myself. I would have to see her everyday in class. And she’s older than me, she wouldn’t want to got out with a sophomore.
Jordan: Older is good…..
* I LOVED the “Older is good”

Mr. Katimski: Stop, stop, stop right there. Rayanne………you got that line wrong ….again.
(Katimski gets up from the front row , and walks up to the stage, motioning Rayanne over to the edge of the stage.)
Mr. Katimski: Rayanne, have you been studying your lines?
Rayanne: Yeah.(Pause) I mean, I have been studying them…..some.
Mr. Katimski: This is the second day in a row now that you have been…..distracted. (Pause) Rayanne, I need you to know your lines. (Pause) You need to put more time into learning them. (Pause) Gee wiz…… it’s just that you have some much natural talent, I hate to see you…… waste it.
* What a great thought to see Rayanne’s performance in the school play be affected by her personal life – especially because it is probably the only authentic measure for her right now (preoccupied parent, absent and/or biased friends, most likely a long history of underachievement in academics). Anyway, I thought it was a great idea.

Rickie: You two know how much I appreciate you letting me live here, giving me a place to stay….a home.
Katimski: Yes.
Rickie: I could never repay you for what you have done for me, not even in like, a million years.
Joseph: You don’t have to repay us, we’re glad we can help.
* This was nice

Angela: So do you two hang out together now? Are you going to start going to late night parties together? Maybe Brian could join your band. You guys need a sax player don’t you. (She starts to laugh.)
Brian: Yeah I would fit right in, with my corduroy pants and sweater.
Jordan: Yeah, you would have the groupies all over you.
(They all start to laugh.)
* This really seemed unlikely

Angela: So do you want to……stay my house?
Rickie: Uh…yes. Yes, I would like to…thank you.
Angela: You don’t have to thank me. (Pause) So you can move in today, if you want.
Rickie: Uh, sure.
Jordan: (To Rickie.) I could give you a ride to Angela’s.
Brian: I’m glad you have a place to stay.
Rickie: Me too.
* Again, this seemed unlikely – the banding together of these characters in this way

Rayanne: Yeah, talk about the odd couple. (Pause) Maybe Bri will break out of his shell if he hangs out with Catalano long enough.
Rickie: Brian break out of his shell, uh, doubtful.
* I liked that

Graham: It’s not silly. (Pause) You have questions that you don’t have answers to, and I know that’s hard for you. (He puts his arm around her, to comfort her.) Do you think you might want to look for them again?
* I HEART Graham

Jordan: Hey Brian, can I keep your Death of a Salesman a little longer, I still on chapter 4.
* It’s a play, there are no ‘chapters’ (or is Jordan supposed to be lying about reading it?)

Jordan: Yeah, Brian was scoping you.
Brian: What! I was just… I mean …
Jordan: He wants to know why you’re always messing with him. I told him it’s because you like him.
Rayanne: What! It’s just…. It’s because I….
Jordan: Later. (He walks away.)
(Brian and Rayanne stand there in silence for a moment.)
Rayanne: I gotta go.
Brian: Me too.
(They both walk off in opposite directions.)
* Seemed a bit far fetched. (Jordan seems a lot more low-key than that; although he does have his moments (“You talk a lot” “You could have sex with me” “Do you always wear this much make up”) he more often than not strikes me as a, don’t lay your cards on the table kind of guy)

GIRL’S BATHROOM--Morning.
(Rayanne comes into the bathroom, Sharon is touching up her makeup in the mirror. Rayanne goes over and sits to the windowsill. After a few moments of silence.)
Sharon: What?
Rayanne: I didn't say anything.
Sharon: Yeah, and that’s not like you…so what is it?

* That was really good
(Rayanne jumps down off the windowsill, and starts to pace back and forth.)
Rayanne: Somebody said I like Brian Krakow, like that’s not the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever heard in your life. I mean…. I can’t even stand Krakow.
Sharon: Who said that?
Rayanne: Jordan.
Sharon: Why would he say that?
Rayanne: Because he’s seriously demented, I don‘t know. (Pause) Me and Brian Krakow, that’s the stupidest thing I’ve heard.
Sharon: So, you don’t like Brian?
Rayanne: Hello Cherski, have you been listening?
Sharon: I don’t know, it seemed like you kinda liked him.
Rayanne: (Speechless, she just stands there for a second with a blank look on her face.) I gotta go.
(Rayanne walks out.)
* Good scene

(Angela heads off to meet Jordan in the boiler room. The camera fallows her down the hall, and we see Brian at his locker. Angela goes over to Brian’s locker, and leans one shoulder against the locker next to his.)
Angela: Oh…. I just came over to get my “Death of a salesman” from you. (She pulls her hair back, and tucks it behind her ear.) I mean, you were technically supposed to return it this morning.
* LOVED this! (Seems like a moment from your last story.) I love that Angela is involved with Jordan but is a little preoccupied with Brian. I mean, on the way to the boiler room and stopping to create small talk with Brian, it’s awesome! (The book switch might be a little contrived, but, whatever.) I really see potential in these loaded moments, but I don’t see them consistently through your story – all the times she seems chummy with Brian and Jordan distracts from the impact of these scenes

* Some of the storylines seemed familiar, but I liked how it didn't focus so much on Jordan and Angela (as mine tend to do)

* I enjoyed reading it. Good luck with your next one!
Sometimes I write a little MSCL fanfiction: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1039807/Jody-Barsch
Also, after multiple V. Mars reiterations, and finally a Deadwood movie, still wishing for some continuation of The Riches !

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Re: Episode # 21, Missing Pieces

Post by coco-chanel » Apr 15th 2007, 4:36 pm

stburr91 wrote:Here is my latest episode. I took a lot longer to write than I thought it would (Life gets in the way of my writing). I'm pretty happy with most of it, but I may make some changes. Let me know what you think.

Anyway, here it is.

ADMIN EDIT: Snipping full quote. sab.
yeah im srry that was really boring... didnt even finish reading it, not to mention the spelling errors :roll: . And i didnt like how everyone cared where ricki was like who cares, noone even likes him... yeaH It was just bad. i suggest never writing a story agian.

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Re: Episode # 21, Missing Pieces

Post by Sascha » Apr 16th 2007, 5:37 am

coco-chanel wrote:not to mention the spelling errors :roll:
You're kidding me, right? Glass house, stones...!?
coco-chanel wrote:And i didnt like how everyone cared where ricki was like who cares, noone even likes him... yeaH It was just bad. i suggest never writing a story agian.
Geez, you're really good with that whole reviewing thing, aren't you? :roll:

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Re: Episode # 21, Missing Pieces

Post by stburr91 » Apr 16th 2007, 10:36 am

coco-chanel wrote:yeah im srry that was really boring... didnt even finish reading it, not to mention the spelling errors :roll: . And i didnt like how everyone cared where ricki was like who cares, noone even likes him... yeaH It was just bad. i suggest never writing a story agian.
coco-chanel,

I don't mind people being critical of my fanfic, heck, there's a lot about this story that I don't like. I could never find enough time to make this episode what I would have liked it to be, but I hope to have time someday to rewrite some of it. You wouldn't believe the amount of time that goes into writing a fanfic, so with very limited time to write it, I just never had the time to find all of the errors. If you would point out all the errors, I would be glade to fix them.

It would be helpful for me, if you would be more specific about what you didn't like about the story. You being critical, just for the sake of being critical, doesn't help me much, but I guess you weren't trying to be helpful, you were trying to be hurtful. I have a very thick skin, so your post doesn't bother me, but maybe that's why I'm not a very good writer, I'm not sensitive enough. :(

Well, all of this leads me to wanting to personally thank Jody Barsch. She has spent a great deal of her time giving all of the fanfic writers in this community, such great feedback, that I would like to thank her for what she does for the MSCL fanfic writers. Thank you, Jody Barsch.
What's amazing is when you can feel your life going somewhere. Like your life just figured out how to get good. Like, that second."

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Post by Rainey's_Mischief » Apr 23rd 2007, 3:29 am

I agree. That criticism could be more constructive. And to suggest never writing again? That was just being hurtful. I write too and i've written some fan fic (not MSCL) and I welcome constructive criticism. It's an important tool to learn and grow as a writer. Being hurtful helps in no way.

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Re: Episode # 21, Missing Pieces

Post by Jody Barsch* » Apr 24th 2007, 10:41 pm

stburr91 wrote:Well, all of this leads me to wanting to personally thank Jody Barsch. She has spent a great deal of her time giving all of the fanfic writers in this community, such great feedback, that I would like to thank her for what she does for the MSCL fanfic writers. Thank you, Jody Barsch.
Thank you stburr91, that was really nice to read!
Sometimes I write a little MSCL fanfiction: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1039807/Jody-Barsch
Also, after multiple V. Mars reiterations, and finally a Deadwood movie, still wishing for some continuation of The Riches !

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Post by PaulaHelena » Jun 20th 2007, 8:15 am

This was well worth the read. :D *applause*

I really like how you've managed to portray all the characters.
And Shane's small appearance was a nice add. ^^
"I'll find myself in the end.."

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Brina and Rayanne

Post by jensara » Jul 18th 2007, 3:54 pm

I really like the "thing" going on with Brian and Rayanne. I always thought that could be story arc.

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Post by stburr91 » Jul 18th 2007, 4:15 pm

PaulaHelena wrote:This was well worth the read. :D *applause*

I really like how you've managed to portray all the characters.
And Shane's small appearance was a nice add. ^^

Thank you, I try not to just focus on just the main characters. I like to have storylines of everyone.

Did you read my episode 20, "Life of Jordan'? I used Shane in that episode as well.


jensara,

I always thought that those two had some chemistry, and well, it's just fun to write scenes with the two of them together.

Steve
What's amazing is when you can feel your life going somewhere. Like your life just figured out how to get good. Like, that second."

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