Fanfiction

III-1 - Get A Memory

written by Jonathan Barron

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based on stories and characters created by Winnie Holzman

SUPER ALONG WITH:
JORDAN (VO)
This gothic drama contains language
and situations that may be, like,
unsuitable for some audiences.
Viewer discretion is, you know,
advised.

FADE IN:
EXT. CHASE HOUSE/BACKYARD - NIGHT
Deep in the woods, a huge shadow shifts. It emits a LOW
GROWL.

CLOSER ON THE SHADOW
A pair of glowing red eyes stare at the Chase house.

RICKIE (VO)
Previously on "My So-Called Gothic
Life"...

CUT TO:
EXT. LIBERTY HIGH SCHOOL/FOOTBALL FIELD - NIGHT

Kyle, football securely tucked in his side, runs down the
length of the field. Suddenly, there's a loud, savage GROWL
as something huge SLAMS into Kyle. He is sent flying and
lands several feet away, where he skids to a stop on the
grass.

KYLE
(groggy)
Sharon...? Let's not do it tonight,
okay, baby...?

Kyle falls unconscious.
Before we can get a good look at it, a large canine-like
creature sprints away into the shadows of the night.

CUT TO:
EXT. KRAKOW HOUSE/DRIVEWAY - NIGHT

The wolf monster GROWLS. Sharon gasps when she sees it
standing on Brian.

SHARON
Omigod. Nice puppy-dog.

WOLF MONSTER
(happy)
Shhuuhhrrruuhhhnnnn...

Sharon SHRIEKS and takes off running.

CUT TO:
EXT. STREET - NIGHT

Rayanne pulls a .357 Magnum from her bottomless hand-bag and
aims it at the wolf monster.

RAYANNE
One thing I always hated: werewolf
season.

CUT TO:
EXT. STREET - NIGHT

Sharon wipes wolf monster saliva from her face and neck. She
sees Rayanne fighting the creature.

SHARON
Oooohhh...

Sharon jumps on top of the car hood, then leaps off the car
and lands on the wolf monster's back.

SHARON
Uunnph!

Sharon tries to get her arms around the wolf monster's throat
as Rayanne punches the wolf monster in the nose. The wolf
monster HOWLS in pain.

CUT TO:
INT. BIG GUY BURGER - DAY

Brian sits at a booth. The Pencil Girl sits across from him,
mesmerized by his every word. She holds a pencil in her
hand, unconsciously rubbing it with her fingers. Slowly,
almost unconsciously, she lowers the pencil below the table.

PENCIL GIRL
You make it so easy to understand.
Is anything ever hard on you -- I
mean, hard with you -- I mean, do you
ever have a hard time with anything?

She stares at Brian, and her shoulder begins to twitch as she
does something, though we can't see it, with her wrist under
the table.

BRIAN
Is something wrong? You're, like,
twitching.

CUT TO:
INT. CATACOMBS

Graham and Hallie huddle together, trembling with fear.

PATTY (O.S.)
Don't worry -- you're not going to
suffocate. There are hairline cracks
in the masonry. And you're not going
to starve, either. Or, at least, you
don't have to. I know how you'd hate
that! I have a surprise for you.

She unveils a stack of FROZEN TV DINNERS in one corner of the
alcove. Graham makes a nauseous face.

CUT TO:
EXT. CHASE HOUSE - NIGHT

George Catalano FIRES his gun from a window.

EXT. CHASE HOUSE/BACKYARD - NIGHT

Sharon races as fast as she can when a bullet suddenly wings
her in the shoulder and she falls to the ground.

SHARON
Aiiieeee!!!

She stumbles to her feet and continues running.

CUT TO:
EXT. WOODS - NIGHT

Sharon staggers through the overgrowth, leaving a trail of
deep red blood in the snow. She collapses to the ground.
Her breath frosts over as it escapes her mouth. She quietly
stares up at the moon.

A GROWLING SOUND. A wolf trots out from behind a tree
followed by another, then another. A whole wolf pack
surrounds Sharon. She doesn't have time to scream as they
all pounce on her at once.

FADE OUT:

OVER BLACK:

RICKIE (VO)
And now "My So-Called Gothic Life"
presents "Sharon, the Sex-Starved She-
Wolf"...

FADE-IN:
EXT. WOODS - NIGHT

SHARON instinctively curls up into a protective ball as the
WOLF PACK envelops her. They surround her in a frenzy and
swarm over her.
But, oddly enough, they're silent. None of the wolves growl,
snarl, or bark.
Sharon's reaches with her good arm and grabs a hold of the
fur on the back of a huge DARK WOLF. Three other wolves push
their snouts under Sharon's rear and they hoist her up onto
the Dark Wolf's back.

SHARON
(weakly)
Hey... watch those noses...

The Dark Wolf turns his head around and looks at Sharon with
gorgeous, serene eyes. A wolf licks at Sharon's bloody
shoulder. She winces in pain. The Dark Wolf lets loose an
extended HOWL that spreads up and out into the cold night
sky. The Dark Wolf's expression -- eyes shut sensuously,
head lifted back -- looks like he's playing the sexiest blues
saxophone number ever heard. And playing it well.

SHARON
(groggy)
Oh, baby...

The others surround Sharon and the Dark Wolf as the entire
pack races off into the woods.

FADE OUT:
BLACK
SUPER: THREE WEEKS LATER

RICKIE (VO)
(whisper)
Go! Now! Go!

CUT TO:
INT. CHASE HOUSE/UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - NIGHT

A bedroom door is thrown open and a butt-naked COREY tip-toes
down the hallway, his butt cheeks bobbing up and down. He
stops at a door.

RICKIE (O.S.)
(whisper)
No! The other one!

Corey turns to another door and enters.

INT. CHASE HOUSE/RICKIE'S ROOM - NIGHT

RICKIE sits in the bed with the covers wrapped around him.
A bed-side light is on. Rickie chews nervously at his
fingernails and watches the closed bedroom door anxiously.
The door opens and in walks the still-naked Corey. He dives
under the covers. Rickie giggles as Corey tickles him.
Rickie covers his mouth to shut himself up.

RICKIE
(whispers)
Shh! You'll wake Angela!

COREY
She's asleep. Don't worry about it.
God, it's cold. Brrrrr!

Corey shuts out the bed-side light and nestles into the
covers as Rickie puts his head against Corey's shoulder and
cuddles up. A long beat.

RICKIE
Um, can I, like, ask you a question?

Corey kisses Rickie's forehead and shuts his eyes.

COREY
Sure.

RICKIE
Are you, like, all right with... this?

COREY
What?

RICKIE
This. You know.

COREY
Oh! Yeah, hey. Us.

RICKIE
Yeah. Us.

COREY
You know!

RICKIE
Really? You know?

COREY
Yeah. I mean, you know. Right?

RICKIE
(disappointed)
Oh, yeah.

COREY
No! Because, you know, ever since,
you know, that time with the, you
know...?

RICKIE
Oh, my God! Me, too! I thought the
same, you know, but then was worried
when you, you know...

COREY
But, now, you know, it's, like, hey,
you know, all that and, you know...

RICKIE
Right! God, you know!

COREY
Yeah. Like.

RICKIE
You know!

COREY
Exactly!
A long beat. Rickie sighs a nice long sigh.

RICKIE
See. We always see eye-to-eye on
things.

Rickie and Corey shut their eyes and fall asleep in each
other's arms.

INT. CHASE HOUSE/UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - NIGHT

A door at the opposite end of the hall from Rickie's room
opens.

ANGELA'S VOICE
(whispers; from
inside the room)
Go! Now! Go!

JORDAN, naked as the day he was born, scampers down the hall
and stops at a door.

ANGELA
(whispers)
No! The other one!

Jordan turns to another door on his left, then back to the
first one.

ANGELA
(whispers)
No! The one on your left!

Jordan turns to the door on his left again, then turns back
to the one on his right.

ANGELA
(whispers)
No! Your other left!

Jordan turns to the door on the left, then stops and turns to
Angela.

JORDAN
Are you saying I have two lefts?
Now, I'm, like, really confused.

Hiding behind the door, ANGELA sighs loudly, then throws open
the door and walks, completely naked, down the hall toward
Jordan. She opens the first door, revealing the bathroom
inside, then turns and walks back to her bedroom.
Jordan stares at the bathroom.

JORDAN
Oh.

Jordan enters the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.
A SCHOOL BELL RINGS.

EXT. LIBERTY HIGH SCHOOL - DAY

The SCHOOL BELLS dies as students enter the high school.

INT. LIBERTY HIGH SCHOOL/HALLWAY - DAY

RAYANNE, Angela, and Rickie round the corner. Angela and
Rickie both have really stupid smiles plastered on their
faces.

RAYANNE
Hey, did you guys hear they're
shooting a movie downtown? Maybe I
can be an extra and, like, get
discovered.

They stop at Rickie's locker.

RICKIE
God, isn't it great to be, like,
alive?!

ANGELA
Yeah, I know! Isn't it?! I was just
thinking the same thing!

RAYANNE
What's with you two?

Rickie and Angela exchange looks.

RICKIE
What do you mean?

RAYANNE
Well, I mean, you guys are, like, so
gleeful and full of, you know...
glee. What? You two get some last
night?

Rickie and Angela both look straight down at the ground.
Rayanne's eyes bug out.

RAYANNE
Get out! What, you two... together?!

Rickie and Angela look at each other, then burst out laughing
as they picture that image.

ANGELA
No way!

RICKIE
Us? You've got to be kidding.

ANGELA
Well, I think it's obvious who I was
with. I was going to tell you guys
eventually.

RAYANNE
So, Vasquez. Spill.

Rickie is about to do just that when Corey walks up to them.

COREY
Hi!

RICKIE
Oh, hi!

Rickie goes to hug Corey, but then restrains himself. Angela
and Rayanne smirk at each other.

RICKIE
(to Corey)
So. How's it going?

BRIAN walks up to them.

BRIAN
Hey, have any of you guys seen
Chersky? She, like, was supposed to
turn in her layout section for
yearbook and now I have to do it.
(to Rickie)
Hey!

RICKIE
Hey!

BRIAN
Why do you look so, like, happy today?

ANGELA
Brian, don't talk to me about Sharon
Chersky, all right?

Angela walks away.

BRIAN
What?

RAYANNE
Jeez, Krakow! Get a memory! It's
only the small fact that her
boyfriend's dad had to shoot Sharon
who was... I can't explain it!

Rayanne takes off after Angela.

BRIAN
(to Rickie and Corey)
She's, like, telling me to get a
memory?

Rickie and Corey wave good-bye to Brian and walk away.

BRIAN
I have, like, a four-oh grade point
average. "Get a memory"? Me?

INT. LIBERTY HIGH SCHOOL/GUIDANCE OFFICE - DAY

CLOSE ON A THUMB
There's a staple jammed into the thumb. The thumb's owner
pries the staple out as blood wells up.
Quickly, NEIL HALLOHAN, a handsome, pale, thin man, thirty-
ish, pops his bleeding thumb into his mouth.
FRANK DANES, a student, sits in a chair before Hallohan's
desk watching with disgusted fascination as Hallohan sucks on
his thumb.

HALLOHAN
(with thumb in mouth)
Mmmps. Mun't munt muh mmm mny muh
muht.

FRANK
What?

Hallohan withdraws his thumb from his mouth and checks to see
if the bleeding has stopped.

HALLOHAN
I said, "Whoops. Don't want to lose
any of that."

Frank nods, then sniffs the air.

FRANK
Can I ask what type of aftershave
you're wearing? It smells just
like... Coppertone.

HALLOHAN
I picked it up in China a while back.
It has properties that protects your
skin from the sun, so in effect, it's
like the world's very first
Coppertone.
(beat)
Now.

Hallohan sits down and opens a file on the desk in front of
him.

HALLOHAN
What colleges have you applied to...
(checks name in file)
-- Wendy?

FRANK
Frank.

HALLOHAN
What, Wendy?

FRANK
My name is Frank. Frank Danes. Do
I look like a Wendy?

HALLOHAN
All right, I'll indulge you, "Frank",
but it says here your name is Wendy
Schlitzel.

FRANK
Then you've got the wrong file.

HALLOHAN
And is that my fault?

FRANK
Is there another file there?

HALLOHAN
Look, I may be the new guidance
counselor at this school, but I've
been doing this guiding and
counseling thing for a very long time.

Frank just stares at Hallohan, who stares back. A beat.

HALLOHAN
All right, now, what colleges have
you applied to, Wendy?

FRANK
Frank. I've applied to Yale,
Harvard...

HALLOHAN
Wait a minute. It says here that
you're a Freshman. How can you be
applying to colleges already?

FRANK
Look!

Frank takes out his wallet and shows his driver's license to
Hallohan.

HALLOHAN
Well, I'll be burnt by the sun. You
are Frank! This is one of the most
erroneous files I've ever seen!

Hallohan chucks the file into the garbage.

FRANK
But that's Wendy Schlitzel's file.

HALLOHAN
Aw, screw her! She's a Freshman!
She'll get another file next year.

INT. LIBERTY HIGH SCHOOL/GIRLS' BATHROOM - DAY

Angela sits up on a windowsill in the girls' bathroom.
Bright sunlight washes over her. Rayanne has lifted her
shirt up, revealing her mid-driff and the long scar that runs
laterally across her belly. She studies it, running her
finger across the scar. It's a rare, sober moment for
Rayanne.
Brian passes by just as the bathroom door opens. He sees
Rayanne's bare tummy and smiles. Then he sees the scar. He
makes a weird face and moves on.

ANGELA
You think plastic surgery could get
rid of that?

Rayanne drops her shirt and her usual smile reappears.

RAYANNE
Naw. It's a nice souvenir. Wouldn't
want to get rid of it. Cheaper than
a tattoo.
(quick beat)
God, I'm really happy for Rickie.

ANGELA
Yeah...

RAYANNE
And you, too, of course.

ANGELA
Thanks.

RAYANNE
It's about time, girlfriend.

Angela smiles at Rayanne, who pats Angela's leg.
Just then, a CHEERLEADER bursts into the bathroom and
announces to everyone:

CHEERLEADER
Ohmigod! Everyone! You have got to
come see this!

The Cheerleader races back out into the hallway followed by
everyone else. Angela and Rayanne exchange looks, then head
for the exit.

INT. LIBERTY HIGH SCHOOL/HALLWAY - DAY

The GIRLS huddle around outside the bathroom, staring down
the hallway, waiting.

CHEERLEADER
Okay! Here he comes! Act casual!

Collectively, the group of girls all stare up at the ceiling
or down at the floor, but none of them actually move anywhere.
Rayanne and Angela emerge from the bathroom. Rayanne takes
one look at the group of girls.

RAYANNE
Hey, you must all be related because
you obviously share "casual" as a
middle name.

CHEERLEADER
Go to hell.

RAYANNE
Been there, done that. Now what's
the big...

Rayanne freezes in mid-sentence as she spots what's coming
down the hall.
A collective gasp goes out as all the young ladies spot
RICK DERRINGER
the hottest thing to hit a high school since that Memphis
remedial reading class died of heatstroke back in the summer
of '93. Tall, good-looking, fine haircut, and one hell of a
snazzy dresser, Rick is slick, too -- the human embodiment of
the three C's: calm, cool, and collected.
He passes by the crowd of girls who unashamedly gawk. As he
passes, he slows just a tad and lowers his sunglasses. His
eyes lock with Rayanne's, but his expression isn't what one
would typically expect. Instead of checking her out in a
sexual way, the look on Rick's face is one of recognition.
Then the moment is gone and Rick disappears around the corner.

RAYANNE
-- deal...?

ANGELA
Oh, my God! Rayanne, did you see
that?! He was, like, so checking you
out!

CHEERLEADER
(to Angela)
Oh, please. Her?

RAYANNE
(to Cheerleader)
You couldn't handle a guy like that.

Rayanne looks at the corner of the hallway where Rick
disappeared.

RAYANNE
Guy like that, he'd eat you for lunch.

INT. LIBERTY HIGH SCHOOL/STUDY CLASSROOM - DAY

Brian sits at a desk, reading Bram Stoker's "Dracula" when
Jordan enters.

JORDAN
Hey, Brain. What's that?

BRIAN
Um, "Dracula".

JORDAN
Oh. I saw the movie.

BRIAN
Yeah? Which one?

JORDAN
There was more than one?

BRIAN
Yeah, there've been, like, lots. Was
it black and white or color?

Jordan thinks about this for a while.

JORDAN
I can't remember. The werewolf man
was in it. And Frankenberry. And
those two guys that do that "What
Base Am I On?" thing.

The cute PENCIL GIRL enters the classroom and stands near
Brian, obviously wanting his attention. Jordan looks at the
Pencil Girl and stands up.

JORDAN
Later.

Jordan walks by the Pencil Girl. Behind her back, so only
Brian can see, Jordan slides his index finger through a hole
made by his other index finger and thumb -- the international
sign for screwing.
Brian makes an awkward smile as the Pencil Girl sits down
where Jordan was.

PENCIL GIRL
Hi.

BRIAN
Hey.

PENCIL GIRL
You're reading "Dracula".

BRIAN
Yeah. Hey, have you ever seen
"Abbott and Costello Meet
Frankenstein"?

PENCIL GIRL
No, actually, I haven't, but I like
horror films. Don't you?

BRIAN
My parents won't let me... uh...
Yeah! I love 'em!

PENCIL GIRL
I like that feeling in my chest. You
know that feeling?

BRIAN
Uh...

PENCIL GIRL
The feeling of suspense. When your
heart starts beating really fast and
you're almost sick with anticipation
of what's coming next. You're
totally out of control because you've
given it up and now you're just along
for the ride, waiting to see what the
person's going to do to you next.

BRIAN
What person? Are you still, like,
talking about horror movies?

PENCIL GIRL
(composes herself)
Oh, yeah. Sure. Uh-huh. Horror
movies.
(quick beat)
So do you want to watch that Abbott
and Costello movie at my house or
yours?

Brian gulps hard.

BRIAN
Uh, well, you see, my parents are out
of town at this conference thing...?
So I really...

PENCIL GIRL
Okay, your place it is.

INT. LIBERTY HIGH SCHOOL/CAFETERIA - DAY

Rickie and Corey sit at a lunch table, staring into each
other's eyes when Rayanne and Angela approach and sit.
Rayanne constantly cranes her head around, searching for
something.

ANGELA
It's just so, like, weird to be back
in school and, like, have to do,
like, homework and stuff, you know?
After all we've been through.

COREY
What have you been through?

RICKIE
Nothing! Nothing abnormal or
anything! Right, Angela?

ANGELA
Um, right.

RAYANNE
Ohmigod! There he is!

Rayanne stands up and points.
Rick Derringer enters the cafeteria in all his hot glory.
Heads turn to stare as he sits down at a table with his lunch.

RICKIE
Who is that?

RAYANNE
He's mine! Get your own!

RICKIE
Got my own, girlfriend.

Rickie and Corey gently high-five, then intertwine their
fingers.

ANGELA
So go talk to him.

RAYANNE
Talk to him? Oh, no, I -- I can't.

ANGELA
Rayanne! You're, like, not afraid to
take on the Devil himself or kill
werewolves in your spare time...

Corey turns and gives Angela a funny look. Rickie starts
shaking his head wildly at Angela, then stops once Corey
looks at Rickie.

ANGELA
But you're afraid to talk to some
guy?! You?!

RAYANNE
But there's something about him.
He's, like, different.

ANGELA
Just go talk to him!

Rayanne looks over at Rick and swallows hard.

RAYANNE
All right.

Rayanne gets up and walks over to Rick's table.

RAYANNE
Um. Like, hey.

RICK
Hey.

RAYANNE
Oh, boy. Yeah. Uh. Hey.

RICK
Hey.

RAYANNE
Yeah. Hey.

RICK
I think we've covered this territory
already.

RAYANNE
Right! Right! "Hey". Covered. I'm
Rayanne.

RICK
Yeah, I know.

RAYANNE
Oh! You know. Wow. So, are you,
like, sitting with anyone?

SHARON (O.S.)
Hey, Rayanne!

Sharon walks up to the table. She's dressed to the max --
tight body-suit, killer mini-skirt. Rayanne turns to Sharon,
surprised.

SHARON
I see you've met Rick.

RAYANNE
Sharon! Ohmigod! Where have you,
like, been?

SHARON
Oh. Around.
(to Rick)
Hey, you.

RAYANNE
Hey!

Sharon leans over, arching her back seductively, and lays a
big kiss on Rick's lips. Rayanne does not look pleased, but
is clearly surprised.
As are Angela and Rickie back at their table.

RICKIE
Did you see that?

ANGELA
Yeah. Where has Sharon been? And
why is she dressed like that?

RICKIE
And what about Kyle? I thought they
got back together. What's she doing
with that guy?

Rayanne waves good-bye to Rick and Sharon and starts back
toward Angela's table.

ANGELA
They broke up. No, wait, they did
get back together. No, they broke
up. I think.

Rayanne sits down at the table.

RAYANNE
Like, one question: what is up with
her?

Just then KYLE enters the cafeteria. He looks angry. Kyle
marches right over to Sharon and Rick, who are smooching.

KYLE
Hey!

Rick and Sharon casually turn to Kyle.

RICK
Can I help you, dude?

KYLE
Yeah, "dude"! What the hell's going
on here?! She's my girl!

SHARON
Kyle, get lost...

Kyle grabs Sharon by the shoulder and pulls her out of her
chair.

SHARON
Hey!

Rick leaps over the table and shoves Kyle away in one smooth
motion. Kyle falls backward over the next table, then is
back on his feet in a second. He bares his teeth at Rick and
pounces on him. Rick and Kyle go tumbling over a table as
Sharon leaps onto a chair and then onto Kyle's back. All
three tear and claw at each other like animals. SCHOOL
SECURITY comes running into the cafeteria and wades into the
crowd that's gathered. Security tries to pull the three
teens apart when Sharon spins around and CLOCKS one of the
Security guards square in the jaw. He goes flying backward
into the crowd of teenagers. Finally, Security manages to
drag Sharon, Kyle, and Rick out of the cafeteria, kicking and
screaming the whole way.
Rayanne, Angela, Rickie, and Corey can only stare slack-jawed
at the entire event. A long beat, then, finally:

COREY
There's something really weird about
them.

END OF PART I